


Loki of Midgard

by sareliz



Series: Loki of Midgard [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Darcy Lewis, BAMF Frigga, Darcy's Dad FTW, F/M, Frigga Has Been Planning This For Centuries, Good Loki, Jane Foster Loves Science, Loki Angst, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Feels, Loki-centric, Non-Psychotic Loki, Prompt Fic, Sane Loki, Sexy Times, Wedding, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:21:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 89,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4058122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sareliz/pseuds/sareliz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki had never been the hero of his own adventure, nor the lover in his own epic poem - until now.</p><p>Written in answer of LokiTheAssassin13's prompt, "Loki Becomes An Avenger Before Thor". </p><p>Book One in the series.</p><p>Full title: Loki of Midgard: How to get lost and found in the same week, A love story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wherein the master of lies sees the deception that has been played on him and responds accordingly.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [linusmir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/linusmir/gifts).



> Love to my husband, who has beta'd this, and who is a bit of an awesome-sauce rock star. And who inspires more rational fic out of me than ever before.
> 
> Also, many liberties will be taken with the prompt’s guidelines, because mischief becomes me.

For so long he thought he knew what was real and what was illusion. It was in his bones to know when someone was deceiving him, or even deceiving themselves. Few people could keep secrets from him. Loki had thought no one could. Wasn’t he named the Master of Lies, among other things?

But there were slippery things one could do with truth, and that Loki also knew quite well.

One could say, ‘I love you, you are my son,’ and it wouldn’t feel like a lie, not if the speaker loved you and accepted you as a son… even if you technically weren’t.

One could say, ‘You are a Prince of Asgard,’ and it wouldn’t feel like a lie, not if the speaker had named you as a Prince of Asgard, regardless of your actual birth realm or parentage.

One could say, ‘You belong here,’ and it wouldn’t feel like a lie, not if the speaker was determined that you should belong here, and had handcrafted a place for you to belong, regardless of the fact that you didn’t, that you never could.

And he never could.

* * *

_All-Father,_

_I write you with a heavy heart, and it is my hope that in this letter you will be able to hear more reason and wisdom in my words than if we were to converse face-to-face. I have many concerns, but I fear you will not countenance any of them._

_Primarily, I am concerned with Thor. Raised as brother, I have been in a position to note how desperately unprepared he is to rule. He has inherited all of your rage and none of your wisdom, temperance, or insight. The throne will fit him ill, and I fear for Asgard. I understand that you have made your choice between the two of us, and indeed I understand better than ever that I was never meant to rule in Asgard, but I cannot bear to watch the outcome of that choice._

_Nevertheless, please, I beg you to reconsider your decision. I hope that rather than crowning Thor at any point in this century, you will defy tradition and place the delicate matters of state into the hands of Frigga while you endure your Odin-Sleep. She is more than worthy of the task._

_Secondarily, I am concerned about you, sir. You have always told me that I am your beloved son, and I know that your words were true, but they were not quite complete, and I now understand that. You see, I had cause to travel surreptitiously to Jotunheim, just recently. Fear not, the mischief I had planned was utterly thwarted when I noticed my skin turning blue._

_How dare you?_

_I have no idea of the circumstances under which I was obtained, but I am prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt, as by my reckoning it occurred at the end of the war. But how dare you raise me with a hatred for that which - as it turns out - I am! How dare you never once tell me! How do you dare? And knowing how easily you can subvert the truth with me - even me! - how do you suppose I shall trust you, henceforth? How do you suppose that I shall be able to function in your court, as the advisor I know you hoped I would become? How may I advise the king who lies to me so thoroughly?_

_Even now I can hear your arguments. Shall I list them out, so that when we do meet again in Valhalla, we have at least this ground covered?_

_You love me regardless of who I am. Well, thank you for that. I love you regardless of who you are, too._

_You had in mind some deeper, future peace with Jotunheim, with me as the key element of said arrangement. Reasonable, given the situation between our realms. But then why, o why have you raised me to hate them so? Why have you allowed ten centuries of hatred to foster between the two realms? Why have you so thoroughly decimated their realm and not once reached out in peace to help them secure the basic necessities of life? Why have you raised me with such scant knowledge or experience of their realm and their culture? Where is your wisdom, All-Father? Where your insight? As with the decision to crown Thor, it has been stunningly absent._

_You were going to tell me. Soon. Perhaps after the coronation, before your Odin-Sleep. While not a likely scenario, I give you the benefit of the doubt. And still I say you are three hundred years too late. As a supposed Aesir I reached my majority at 716 years of age and can we both not agree that that would have been the appropriate time? You could have at least used my minority as an excuse. And it is not as if I were a particularly irresponsible individual. Perhaps that wasn’t entirely surprising to you, as I’ve recently discovered, Jotunn reach their majority even earlier than Aesir._

_And still other arguments howl in my mind, but I will not make you blush to consider what I fear your capacity to truly be._

_Returning to my concerns for the future of the Nine Realms, I am quite concerned about Jotunheim. There has been no diplomatic preparation for a deeper, lasting peace or partnership, and I do not feel even slightly obligated to do the difficult work of laying that foundation. As you have told Thor and I numerous times, that was your war, and it is your peace as well. I wish you well with it._

_I am also increasingly concerned with Midgard. Their lives are so brief, but so intensely bright and they are capable of such amazing change in such little time. Though observation and intervention in that realm has fallen out of favor with many here, I have continued to observe and track their leaps in understanding their own world and their glimpses of magic, as well as their varied cultures. And yet, many of their changes are both shocking and frightening. They are a fascinatingly diverse realm, full of good and evil, and I have decided to join them for a time. Where I can do nothing with the Jotunn, due to the hostilities with Asgard, there is a group in Midgard that I believe will accept my assistance. You have raised me to be more than a prince - to be an advisor of kings. Besides this, I have many talents, and most of them are not widely respected on Asgard. But in deference to you, I will continue to do the thing you have raised me to do, and that is to advise the powerful and guide them into wise decisions._

_I cannot do this on Asgard - I no longer completely trust you, and my trust for Thor as king is utterly nonexistent._

_I cannot do this on Jotunheim - they do not trust me, and have no reason to do so._

_So, I have decided that I will offer my services to Midgard._

_I do not ask your blessing. I ask only that you refrain from calling me back. I do not know if I would defy your express command in order to do this thing, and I would rather both of us live in ignorance. If you would kindly pass on your will to the next reigning monarch of Asgard, I would also appreciate it. My defiance of Thor would be all too easy. To pain Frigga would break my heart, but I realize that in leaving I have already done this._

_Finally, I thank you for giving me to Frigga and raising me with Thor. I thank you for allowing, and eventually encouraging my studies in magic, regardless of what others thought. Despite the turmoil I now feel, and despite growing up in the cold shadow of Thor, I always knew that I was loved by you and Frigga. Though I be not on Asgard, I will make you both proud, this I swear._

_Loki_

* * *

_Dearest Mother,_

_As you weave and know the future paths, I am certain you saw this day coming. I know the cold truth about myself, though I struggle to keep the warm heart you helped to grow within me. If you wish to walk the illusions, you will find me on Midgard. I will wear the token so you may find me with ease, and you will be ever welcome to me._

_I look forward to happier days._

_Your ever loving son,_

_Loki_

* * *

Odin felt every year of his age, and yearned to sleep. He sat in his throne room, letter in hand. He heard Frigga enter and swiftly rose, dismissing the court and retiring to his private apartments with his grieving wife. She already knew. She usually did.

He took his lady wife into his arms after the door swung shut and felt the sobs wrack her frame. She was silent from the recriminations that might have been slung. This was a long standing argument that he’d never won, even though his word was law, regardless. To tell Loki now or later that he was a cast off Frost Giant. They’d been arguing for the last three hundred years.

_‘You will not like the results if you do not tell him yourself, Odin.’_

_‘Soon. Soon, I will tell him, but not until after the Harvest. You know how much he enjoys the orchard.’_

_‘Soon. Soon, I will tell him, but not until after the festival. You know he is looking forward to the gathering of the sorcerers.’_

_‘Soon. Soon, I will tell him, but not until after Thor has recovered his injuries. You know how he worries.’_

_‘Soon. Soon, I will tell him, but not until after...’_

He held his lady wife and yearned to sleep. Had his reason truly been clouded, so tired he had been of late? Loki, so reasonable in the face of such adversity, was advising him that this was so.

What to do with Thor? Would Frigga even consent to be Regent? And Jotunheim, o Loki, you were not wrong about his bungling of Jotunheim.

He was so tired. So, so tired.

“Frigga, my darling wife. I know I do not have long before I must sleep, and so after atone for my many failings as husband and father. In the meantime, it is my will that Loki be left alone to pursue his ends in Midgard. He says he wishes to make us proud and I have no doubt that he will do exactly that.”

Frigga squeezed him harder in response, and then drew in a deep breath. He felt her release it and with it tension, and wished it could be so easy for him. He just needed to sleep a bit. Just a bit. Or, perhaps, longer than that. He was so tired.

“Further, I have increasing misgivings about Thor’s ability to rule with wisdom and grace. I will tell him shortly, but I desire that you act as Regent while I sleep, and when I wake we will together with our councilors devise a proper trial to burn out the dross in our eldest son. If the worst should happen, it is my desire that Loki be recalled to rule in our stead.”

Frigga pulled back, sadness but not shock in her eyes. She nodded silently. She’d known, he realized. She’d always known. She always did.

He was so tired.

So tired.

A pounding on the door. Thor, bellowing. Frigga waving a hand, the door unlocking, slamming open.

So tired. Too tired.

Thor, in a towering rage. A letter in his hand. Threats. No, no, he is no king.

“You are no king,” but his voice was too weak. He’d already fallen. Did they hear? No matter. Gungnir would hear. The magic would transfer. “Frigga-” So tired. Just to close his eyes. Just to take a deep, slow breath. Just one. “I name Frigga Regent.”

And finally, sleep. Frigga holding him, Thor calling to servants, yes he could hear it all, but it was all very far away. And finally now he could sleep.

* * *

_To my idiot brother,_

_You may be pleased to know that I will be out of your hair, henceforth. I am to another realm where I may do some good._

_You may be less pleased to know other things, but I will tell you of them all the same._

_First and most interestingly - to me, at the least - our parents have lied to us lo these many years and not once did I suspect. I tell you so you can appreciate the irony, as I know you take great joy whenever I fail. What did they lie about, you may ask? My parentage. I am not their natural born child, and I am not even Aesir._

_You’re going to simply delight at what I am, however. Jotunn. Given my size and age, I find it entirely possible that father found me at the end of the war, abandoned. Frost I may be, Giant I am certainly not. It is a wonder, is it not, that they didn’t eat me? Or were we wrong about them all of this time? Are they not monsters?_

_Am I a monster? Won’t it be fun to find out?_

_Secondly, I have strongly advised father to not hand Asgard over to you when he sleeps. You are still every bit the idiot you were at five hundred. You have no patience, no compassion, no understanding and no insight._

_Thirdly, to prove that I am not trying to elevate myself at your expense, I have decided to exit, stage left. Please feel free to enjoy the limelight in my absence. You know I always steal the scene whenever I can, but today I believe the better part of valor is for me to discover my destiny apart from your shadow. Have fun, but please don’t break Asgard in my absence._

_Mother may find me, and father knows of my plans. You need not bother yourself with coming after me. You have far more important things to do._

_For instance, you may begin to age with wisdom. Please commence at any time convenient._

_Younger, wiser, and handsomer than you,_

_Loki_

__


	2. Wherein Darcy Lewis meets Loki Odinson and ovaries are melted.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Loki meditates and surfs the chaos and deception of the world, musing on his plans and initiating his first stage in the process, he fails to account for an interesting phenomenon: Darcy Lewis. Hiding in the shadow of the event-horizon-level-chaos-magnet that is Jane Foster is the busty bundle of mischief who is about to... well, you'll see. And kindly mind the raise in the rating from T to M. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are totally BAMF. No, really. You're full of awesome.

Loki sat in the standard position, his mind quiet. His breath was slow and gentle. He’d been vaguely aware of the passage of time, but this was what he needed before anything else. He’d let his senses expand across the desert, out, out, out until he had a sense of the overlaying webs of chaos and deception. He floated across them, looking at epicenters, seeing where chaos and deception met, and where they didn’t.

For the past century he’d been watching the rise and fall of hostilities across this realm. He’d closely examined their wars and read about their atrocities. He particularly enjoyed coming to this place, however, this spot in the desolate and barren desert to sit and meditate, to search out the secrets of the realm and discover who had the largest ones.

On his own, he could not enter the mind of another individual without their consent, but the Humans of Midgard gave their consent more often than he would have imagined. Everytime someone with a secret despaired because of it, he could hear it like a cry for help. He could, if he wished, follow that plea back to its source. He could, if he wished, ease the despair with a thought, help to untangle the web of lies around his supplicant. Or, depending on the situation, he could tighten the web. The only problem, really, with answering prayers on Midgard is that they never stopped.

Frigga had a theory about the Humans of Midgard and their unceasing clamor of prayers. She supposed that the very reason Humans had the potential to be so intensely creative, so diverse, so capable of great love as well as great evil was because so many of their prayers went unanswered. It forced them to turn with compassion to one another and be their own answer. Rather than receiving a free gift, unearned and unmerited, easily received and easily cast aside again, they were forced to build their own ladder out of the hole they found themselves in. Thus, they respect the ladder and refrain from digging yet more holes.

Well, it was a theory. Loki wasn’t entirely sure he liked it, but it was the reason so few of the Aesir paid much attention to Midgard since Frigga first put forth the theory, some eight hundred years hence.

For his part, Loki had always enjoyed surfing the tidal wave of chaos, altering the current here or there, increasing and decreasing, turning it in or out, and letting it all implode at the most amusing moment. It fed and refreshed him, much more so than flitting between the minds of the deceptive. Chaos didn’t require cruelty, but it was such a large part of deception, he found.

Of course, not all of those who deceive are evil. So many Humans on Midgard had, for various reasons, need to hide who they truly were. Mutants, they were sometimes called. Heroes, other times.

O mortals, what capacity for change you have! And yet, your change is ever ahead of your acceptance of yourselves and others, if only one step.

The quiet of the desert wrapped him in an ever warming blanket until he drew a set of ancient runes in his mind’s eye and felt the instant chill wash over him.

His ultimate goal, Loki had decided, given his previous analysis of Midgard, was not to attempt to become an advisor to any single country’s government, nor even the conglomerate of governments known as Europe. The governments themselves were not predisposed to long term advisors, and seemed in this century, to shift leadership by the decade or even sooner. But there was another powerful organization with more stable leadership that might be quite interested in what he had to offer, once he had properly proven himself and become a trusted ally. It was a secret organization that operated across the entire realm, though it was based in the country he was currently sitting in, meditating. It was a strange and beautiful organization, filled with deceit, all too often on the brink of chaos, and seemed to have a leader who, like Loki, surfed well on the unpredictable tidal waves of the chaotic environment in which he dwelt.

Director Fury. His underlings thought of him often, sometimes with great concern. The Director himself (a plain title, Loki thought, but certainly a straightforward one) less often prayed, but Loki was sensitive to it, now, and would be listening.

There were a few others in the realm that Loki was particularly interested in, each one of them a bottle of chaos ready to be released and each one with barely any deceit in their lives.

Tony Stark was perhaps his personal favorite in this generation. There was a man who courted chaos as a lover in the broad daylight, unrepentant and hedonistic. A warrior, smith and king in his own right, Loki had actually answered some of his favorite’s prayers over the years. How could he not? The man was delicious and was the cause of more than one of Loki’s inscrutable smiles of late.

But enjoy as he did the antics of the Iron Man (such odd titles people of this realm assume, but he would get use to it, surely), there were too many layers of security around both he and the Director to start his own network of good deeds and advice with them.

But there was one who was an enigma to him, and she was closer than anyone else, and far more convenient.

Jane Foster was a bottle of pure chaos and absolutely no deceit and Loki understood her not at all.

Yes, she was studying the effects of the bifrost on Midgard. Yes, she was attempting to understand the workings of the device from its effects alone in order to build one of her own which meant that she was wildly intelligent and particularly motivated. Surely, creating a second bifrost is courting chaos on the level of not even a single realm, but of all nine. But still, it did not account for the profound level of chaos he could feel within her - not that she had unleashed it, but that had somehow gathered in potential within her spirit. Clearly, this woman had a striking future ahead of her that Loki could not even slightly predict - except to say that she herself was a good, law-abiding and truthful person. Her chaos would not be the product of deceit, and that he would bet his helmet on.

But Jane Foster, unparalleled chaos magnet, was quite unguarded. She had only a single associate and no close friends, family or colleagues that he could tell. Loki could see that it was the chaos itself that guarded her, kept enemies and ne’r do wells away and made even the villagers who lived near her skirt her with distrust. The chaos kept her safe, and the chaos would let Loki enter in where few others would gain her trust.

Wittingly or no, Jane Foster was a devotee of Chaos and the Master of her element had just arrived to lend her aid.

So here he was, sitting in the middle of the desert that she was also in. Here he sat, in the middle of a bifrost rune, meditating on the woman who was trying to understand the bifrost. He could feel her questions pouring over her, ordered one moment, a flooded jumble the next, always intense, colliding, rushing, striving for more, and riding on the heated air currents of the bottled up chaos that had yet to be released.

_‘Again last night! The same readings! Darcy, Darcy, are you done with the chart yet? I need my chart! I need to compare it with the ones from last week, and the readings from the eighth of last month! What the hell is going on? What is, oh, right. Thanks. Food. Yeah, I guess I..._

_‘You know who I really need to tell about this? Erik! Erik Selvig! No, no, I guess you don’t know him, God, I need to email him or something. I wonder if he’d come out. He might. I mean, maybe not, but these readings! God, Darcy, these readings! Text? No, I have no idea what time it is in Norway. But no, he worked with my father for a time. I, he, uh, well, he’s a really good man. And he understands about the Einstein-Rosen Bridge and doesn’t think I’m completely loony toons. Email Erik, email Erik, email Erik - Darcy, remind me to email Erik before we finish tonight, okay? Oh, right. Thanks. Food. Yeah.  What is going on out there?’_

And that was Loki’s cue. _Investigate_ , he said. _Go to the site. Look for any indication, physical detritus. Perhaps it is exactly what I hope for,_ he said, his mental voice sounding in that moment exactly like Jane’s own inner monologue. _Perhaps someone else out there has a perfected Einstein-Rosen Bridge, perhaps they’re using it, out in the desert with no one to disturb. Perhaps they’ve sent something this time. Or someone. Perhaps they’re still there. Perhaps they’re waiting for me…_

Too far? Loki wondered, but no. Probably not. Half of her musings would be dismissed as pure fantasy, but it would lay the foundation for her finding a man meditating in the desert and she’d be more likely to ask questions first and run away later. And the chaos would welcome him home like a long lost son.

* * *

“No, no there are no indications that there will be another event tonight, but I just have a feeling that we ought to get out there before sundown.”

Darcy looked up from her desk in the converted gas station. “But you said you wanted to email that Erik guy before you left today. Going out into the middle of the desert to chase space lizards and cosmic monkeys counts as leaving for the day. Who knows how long we’ll be wandering around out there?”

Her boss paused for a moment’s indecision and not for the first time Darcy wondered how on earth she had landed the world’s strangest summer internship. To hell with graduating on time, she’d be happy just to survive this Weirdsville for the next month. What was she going to do afterwards? Probably stay with her parents, sleep until noon and apply for jobs until midnight and see if she could end up being some junior lackey in the state senate. Anything that would be in her field (not, say, astrophysics) and pay enough for her own tiny apartment would be more than sufficient.

Politics, man. Politics, diplomacy, governance, and world affairs had absolutely zip in common with astrophysics, and that is what Darcy had largely taken away from her summer internship, thus far. That, and absent minded scientists really do need to be reminded to eat, shower, and change clothes.

Her boss lady was convinced that there was life on other planets and that her research would be instrumental in faster-than-light travel, which hey, was pretty cool. But if half the science fiction Darcy had read was even close to reality, did we really want to contact other planets so badly? Because it’s not like earth’s leaders had managed so well in governing this planet, or could agree on basic human rights. Anyone else the scientist happened to encounter had to be either better than us (in which case, why would they bother with us?) as bad as us (in which case, why would we bother with them?) or worse than us (in which case we’re looking at a planet-wide genocide).

So, whatever. It was six credits. She wasn’t dying for it. She wasn’t breaking laws for it. She wasn’t skipping meals for it. She wasn’t skipping sleep for it. And really, Darcy was doing her utmost to be completely efficient without taking a damn thing seriously. She did not need this kind of stress. Fine lines, you know? Jane had them, and she was only ten years older than Darcy.

“Yeah, yeah. Right. Email Erik, email Erik, email Erik. Need to email Erik. Okay, I’ll drive this time, and you take my cell phone and you email Erik. Yeah. I’ll dictate. Help me with these instruments.”

“Got it,” Darcy said blithely, grabbing up her iPod for after the dictation.

* * *

“Uh, Jane. We’re still a quarter mile out from the site. Yeah, pretty sure. Quarter mile.”

“We’re going on foot. I don’t want to miss anything. We’ve still got an hour of daylight. We’ll make straight for the heart of where we suspect the event was and then if we find nothing immediately, will make some wide sweeps.”

“I’m not carrying all of this equipment. No way.”

“No, no. Just um, let’s see.” Jane grabbed a huge over-the-shoulder bag and handed it to Darcy. “Here, this one, this and I’ll take the metal detector. Yeah. I think.”

“And I got my taser,” Darcy muttered. Because you just never effing knew. Jane was looking forward to weird shit. Darcy just wanted to live to be a junior lackey in the state senate and to not be living with either her parents, or this summer, with Jane.

Okay, not too bad. Not all the equipment. Just two pieces, and really Jane had the heaviest. Darcy took a deep breath as they walked around the side of the oversized van thing that was undoubtedly where most of the Jane’s grant money went.

The desert smelled nice. She’d miss this bit, when she eventually moved out of state. Nothing smelled like the desert.

“Do you have my book?” Jane asked in a moment of panic.

“Yep. No worries, boss lady. I gotcha.” Darcy patted the back pocket of her jeans. It paid to pay attention to Jane’s absent-minded scientist needs, and her notebook was like her safety blanket. She went nowhere without it. Which was to say, she forgot it everywhere and then freaked out ten minutes later when she couldn’t find it.

“You’re a lifesaver, Darcy. You sure you don’t want to stay on after the summer? You’re a great assistant.”

“I’m a free assistant, and I was the only applicant.”

“Well, yes, but you always remember things. I really appreciate that in an assistant.”

“You’re sweet, but we’ve got other apples to fry. Either that’s a really weird rock formation from outer space, or there’s a dude chilling in your science zone.”

Jane looked up and started. “I think… it, it looks like…” she squinted and started to walk faster. “Oh my god, really? Really? Okay, two hypotheses. Hypothesis A: someone completely unrelated to Einstein-Rosen Bridges is out for a stroll, wanting to have some alone time and we’re about to interrupt their communion with nature. But where is their car? Their motorcycle? We’re, like fifty miles from the nearest town and we came from that town. We passed no one on the road, and no vehicle parked. We see nothing in sight. They could have been dropped off by someone else, but that’s not statistically likely. So, according to Bayesian probability theory, Hypothesis A is possible, but not probable.

“Hypothesis B: someone somehow connected to Einstein-Rosen Bridges is waiting for us. They knew we were studying this site and or phenomenon and knew we’d come out to investigate today. They wanted to talk with us. Considering that my research is publicly funded and I’ve made no secret of where I was going and what I was doing, and you keep posting to Facebook, that opens up possibilities. If we add to that the not-remote possibility that other intelligences in the Universe might also have or be studying an Einstein-Rosen Bridge-”

“So, there’s an alien meditating in the middle of the New Mexico desert, waiting to talk to you?” Darcy asked, putting her hand in her pocket and pulling out her taser to put it in with the rest of the equipment in the bag. Just in case.

“Well, nothing is absolute until it’s finished, but I think our chances with B are more likely than A. Maybe somewhere between possible and probable?”

“Do wish you’d speak English. Some of us hated standard statistics class. Your bay leaf probability thing is just weird.”

“Actually, I think you’d like it. It could be useful in politics, too, because depending on how well you know an individual, you could make some fairly accurate guesses on-”

“Jane. Focus. Crazy Maybe Alien Space Guy dead ahead at twelve o’clock.”

“Right. Right. Guy in desert. Right.”

“You seem remarkably calm about this situation, Dr. Foster.” Darcy muttered as they got closer to the seated figure. They were close enough to be able to tell that his eyes were closed and there was a tiny smile on his face. Nice face. “Are you getting all sciencey on me again? This isn’t like that time three weeks ago when we almost died in a freak tornado, right? Because I’m beginning to think that you really don’t have a healthy appreciation of scary situations.”

“This isn’t scary. It’s broad daylight, the weather is calm, we have a car and you have a taser. Besides, we totally outnumber him. Everything will be fine.”

Well, Darcy thought as they went quiet and got even closer, dude’s not ugly. He’s sort of adorable, actually. He exudes a kind of chill aura. Darcy found herself walking a bit more quickly than Jane, though she didn’t ask herself why that was.

“Hey, there. You speak English?” she found herself asking in an upbeat tone.

His eyes opened slowly, revealing irises that commanded her attention. They were so intensely green she wondered if they were contacts, or if his green shirt just brought out their color. Almost at the same time, a smile blossomed on his face that made her stomach bottom out. He was cute before, but now? Now she’d do him, right here, in a heartbeat. With Jane watching and recording it for science. Definitely not an alien. This was definitely home-grown earthy goodness, oh yes. And Darcy would like a slice, please.

“Yes,” he said. “I understand you, perfectly.” British! He was British! All her fondest James Bond/Doctor Who dreams _were about to come true right here in the middle of her crappy weird science internship!_ Darcy declared herself new BFFs with astrophysics and Jane Foster. It was a three-way BFF, and they’d all get married one day. After she got to do the nice Time Lord in green. Multiple times. Ad nauseum. Until he couldn’t stand her screaming his name any more. Speaking of which…

“Mind if I join you?” Darcy didn’t wait to sit down, but noted his smile getting even wider. She liked to think that she betrayed absolutely none of the lust that was coursing through her veins like O negative. If she didn’t get a chance to do the horizontal mambo with the Time Lord, she was totally going to need some alone time with her vibrator tonight. “I’m Darcy Lewis and that’s the good Doctor Jane Foster over there. So, who are you?”

“Your new best friend,” replied James Bond in the black leather coat and, yes, now that she noticed it, leather pants. Hmm… that meant it would have to be a four way - Astrophysics, Jane Foster, and James Bond. But Jane and Physics would pair up, so that left her with Bond, James Bond as a nighttime playmate, so, yeah, okay. Hello, new bestie. May I introduce you to my tongue?

“Fantastic,” replied Darcy pertly, really trying not to look at his body any more than necessary. “Does my new bestie have a name?” Because I’d like to know what to yell to heaven when you make me come so hard I can’t see straight. Please. Please, Mr. James Bond, please make all my man-dreams come true. Wow. I am so seriously proud of myself. Not one instance of word vomit. See, Mom? I can learn! I can grow and change and everything! Woot! Go me, go me, go me!

Tall, dark and British was having a hard time keeping laughter on the inside, and Darcy idly wondered, in the midst of wondering what his cock would taste like, what was so damn funny? Also, he was more beautiful like this. How was that possible? And would Jane refuse her course credits if she started licking him now?

“I have several, but my parents call me Loki. Loki Odinson, at your service.” He reached over a hand to shake and Darcy took it, trying not to shiver for any one of eight reasons currently assaulting her senses. But the name…

No. Right? No. She put her hormones in temporary stasis, because of reasons. Having to do with… yeah.

But she wasn’t an idiot. And world mythology was a fun thing for kids to know an obscene amount about. Loki, son of Odin? What’s next? Zeus? King Arthur? Darcy was totally calling dibs on Gawain, if this thing with Mr. Mischief and Chaos didn’t work out.

“Huh. Really, now. And your parents, they would be, what? Odin and Freya?”

“Frigga,” Loki automatically corrected, then his smile fell. “So, you understand who I am, Miss Darcy Lewis?”

He looked intense for a moment that unlocked the cage she’d just put her hormones in. Seriously, Darcy was about to embarrass herself by offering to bear his children. If he needed any. But play it cool, Darce. You can do this. Play it cool and answer the Norwegian Time Lord.

“Yeah, no. Is this a cosplay?” One eyebrow arched up on his beautiful face and for a moment Darcy really, really didn’t want him to be a cosplayer, or worse insane, or really the absolute worst case scenario, actually some guy out of legend. She just wanted him to be James Bond, a completely normal government assassin going about his day, meditating in the desert, getting all caught up with science in his downtime. Didn’t he want some Pussy Galore before the next supervillain attacked?

“Aah,” he said softly. His smile was sad, as if he had bad news for her. She had no urge to get her taser out, but she did wonder where the hell Jane was. Darcy couldn’t bear to look away, however.

“It is as you suspect, my new friend. But I promise that I come in peace. And you do not need to take me to your leader.”

“Hah. Funny. Up on culture, I see. But you’re, like, lies, mischief and chaos, right? If you didn’t come in peace, would you actually be honest and tell me that? I don’t know if I’ve mentioned, but I have a few goals for this summer and one of the explicit ones is to survive it. I will not be killed in the name of science. Are we clear?”

The smile was back.

“I think I can promise you, Darcy Lewis, that you will not die this summer, and you will not be killed in the name of science.”

“Well. Okay. I don’t believe you yet, but I’m holding you to it all the same. Where the hell is Jane?” she asked, finally tearing her eyes away to look behind her, only to find Jane frantically photographing every part of the outer circle of the rune they were seated in. “Jane!” she called out. “What the hell? Get over here and stop being weird science woman for half a second. Come and meet my new best friend!”

Her lady parts tingled at his laugh. Oh, shit, his laugh. Could she wrap herself in it and call it a day?

“Yeah, be right there!” the boss lady called out. Which meant that in another fifteen minutes Darcy could ask again.

“Yeah, sorry about that. She’s going to be a while. She’s a bit single-minded, like, most of the time. Science, science, science. So, tell me Loki, why do you think you’re going to be my new best friend?” Please say it has to do with sex. And kissing. And making me your cosmic princess bride. I promise to like politics! I’ve majored in it!

Loki smiled the smile of sex. Darcy was pretty sure of it. At least, her lady parts were sure of it. Her brain wasn’t registering a veto, so she was ready to go with sex as a top three reason her new bestie had declared himself so quickly.

“Which reason would you like?” he asked. Why does he sound British? Shouldn’t he sound Scandinavian? Then again, considering the Swedish Chef from The Muppets, British was okay. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Darce. Maybe he learned English in the land of.

“The true one. Definitely the true one.” Truth from the God of Lies. Why not? It was worth a shot.

“There are several true ones. My motives are complex. But I mean you and yours no harm, and I believe you and I will get along very well indeed, if you wish it.”

Sex! Yay!

“But lest you think me blinded by your charms-”

I have charms? Oh, he means my boobs.

“-I also am a very good judge of character. It comes with the territory, I’m afraid. And Darcy Lewis of Earth, I do not believe you’ve lied about much in your life. I find that more refreshing than I can possibly tell you. You are, however, deliciously mischievous and have more potential for chaos than I would have first suspected. Though with hindsight, I’m not surprised that I overlooked you. In the company of your Dr. Foster, a black hole would have less potential for chaos.”

Darcy blinked. That was… okay. Wow. Wait, um. Wow.

She wanted to say thanks, but what came out was, “You can read everyone that easily?”

“Yes. Though you seem to be happy to project your state of mind a bit more freely than others I am used to.”

Her entire state of mind? Um… so, would that rule out sex or make it more likely?

He smiled a smaller smile, seemingly in response to her musings.

“So, can you hear what I’m thinking?”

He countered with another question. “If I answer you truthfully, will you still dine with me tonight?”

“You haven’t asked me to dine with you at all,” she pointed out, but her lady parts yelled at her for being a smartypants.

“Darcy, will you dine with me this evening?”

“Yes, Loki, I will. Provided that you actually have the correct currency of this time and place and plan on paying for our entire evening out.”

“I have, and I do.”

“So, can you read my mind?”

“It really depends on what you’re thinking of.”

Gulp. Okay, here’s the bottom line. “And if I’m thinking about, oh, I don’t know, you?”

“Yes, in that case I can hear you quite clearly. Which is interesting, because I’m not quite used to that. It must be your latent chaos. It calls to me,” he said quietly.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. “I bet you say that to all the crazy girls you meet in deserts,” Darcy pointed out quietly. Were her eyes wide? Well, the better to see him with. No! Don’t think about Loki! Don’t think about Loki!

He grinned wider.

SHIT! Don’t think about Loki! Don’t think about how amazing his cock is going to feel when--

He cleared his throat. “If you really don’t want me to be able to read your thoughts,” he said through choked back laughter, “it may help to not say my name in your head, to not meet my eye, and to not think about the different and varied ways that I will - with your consent - be ravaging your lovely self this evening.”

Ovaries. Just. Melted.

He laughed again, and it was beautiful and she wanted to have his babies. Loki babies. Lots of little Lokis and Darcies running around. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Her dormant voice of skepticism decided to make itself known before nine months of back aches did. Uh - pause, here people. Do we know why we’re so comfortable right now? Is he doing some Viking Time Lord mojo on us to make us calm, pliable and horny?

Darcy’s melted ovaries regrouped and responded. No, we’re normally this horny, thank you. We just don’t usually have such golden confirmation that the horniness is returned. Why waste the moment with indecision?

Skeptical Darcy replied, But why are we so comfortable? Aren’t we usually uncomfortable, self conscious and sort of awkward around blindingly beautiful men?

“I think I can answer that, if you like,” Loki said.

Skeptical Darcy narrowed her eyes at him and batted her ovaries back to where they belonged. “The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?” Darcy realized she was pointing at him. And squinting.

Loki nodded. “You are a somewhat chaotic and mischievous young lady. I am chaos and mischief incarnate. I have done nothing overtly to win you over or change your mind, but I have unintentionally set you completely at ease. And I have done nothing that would dissuade that first impression. It is what I think is called here, the ‘halo effect’. You look at me and you like everything you see. Even your unconscious self feels comfortable with me. Apparently, more comfortable than you’ve ever been with any other man.”

Darcy took a moment to let that sink in. “So you’re not actively using mojo on me to make me… more compliant? You promise?”

“I am not. I promise. Is it so hard to imagine that you like me, Darcy? Am I not handsome enough? I promise you that I am both brave and dashing when the moment requires it. And powerful too, if you enjoy that sort of thing.”

Darcy blushed for the first time in ages. “It’s, no, it’s not that, I just…”

Loki leaned in, breaking for the first time his rigid posture, leaning his elbow on his knee as he did so. “Darcy, have you been in love before?”

The tenor of his voice did things. Sparkly, wonderful, creamy things.

“Yes!” she whispered fiercely. “I mean, sort of.” She didn’t even realize that she’d leaned in closer to him, not wanting to share any part of this conversation with Jane. Who knew when boss lady would surface and hear the last ten words of any given phrase? “I just… it’s never gone like this, you know?”

“Perhaps it wasn’t the right sort of love to fall into. Do not be afraid. I will catch you.”

Ovaries. Melted. Again. But harder this time.

She stared him dead in the eye, which was even closer than it had been two minutes ago. Loki, would it be very, very bad to kiss you right now? Because I don’t know what else you had on your Earth-side agenda for this trip, but I totally want to sign up for… I’m really not sure what. But, oh shit. Loki - um, you are, you know, like, single and unattached, right? I mean, I haven’t just volunteered to be the other woman, right? Because that’s not cool. And I don’t share. And I have no idea what this is but I’m really clear that if I can have you, it’s you that I want. Like, maybe more than my college degree. Oh my God, I’m rambling in my head to a Norse Time Lord. Make it stop! Make it stop! Help!

He laughed again and it was full of rainbows and light.

“My darling girl, I have no objections to you kissing me, but Dr. Foster might if you do so right in front of her before she is introduced, and I would hate for you to lose those credits. And no, I have no other with whom I am intimate, or with whom I have pledged myself. And yes, I would like to discuss this all, at length, later.”

So I can kiss you later? For reals? Like, soon, for reals?

“Oh, yes.”

Oh, _shit_. “You did not just bedroom voice me in front of my boss!” Darcy hissed, eyes wide, ovaries screaming. How was she going to survive until tonight? How? Without realizing, she licked her lips.

Did she really need six credits? How often does a man this beautiful proposition you? And one who can tune into the Darcy Lewis Subtext Broadcasting Frequency? Like, never. Fuck the credits.

Loki held up a hand. Which she wanted to lick.

“Darling - may I call you darling? - if you will have patience and wait for the evening, I promise to systematically go through every fantasy you’ve ever had. As you say, I have other things on my Earth agenda and I quite frankly hadn’t anticipated picking up an intimate companion such as yourself. Though I am not opposed. In the meantime, tell me about yourself. Things I do not already know, that is. Begin with your studies, please. I have a hope for your insight being even more useful than your most gracious charms.”

What was left of her melted ovaries had just dribbled out of her core. Sure. Hold off on kissing to deliver her resume. Okay. Slightly unexpected, but he totally just fulfilled a fantasy that Darcy had never even realized she had.

James Bond walks up to a woman in a bar. Says, ‘hello, darling. I’d like to systematically make all your fantasies come true. But first, won’t you tell me more about yourself so I can revel in sexing up a woman who is wildly beautiful in stunningly insightful? No, no, tell me more.’

Darcy stared into his green eyes, vaguely hearing Jane’s clicking camera in the background, slowly circling them. Loki, she thought, is it too soon to profess my undying devotion and ask you to marry me?

“Yes. Now focus on my question and tell me about your studies, or I shall spend all night meditating on chaos in the middle of the desert, _by myself_.”

Darcy’s eyes went wide when she realized he meant business.

“So, I’m a senior at Culver and I was supposed to graduate six weeks ago, but I forgot about this one last requirement. Which is why I’m stuck in a last minute assignment completely out of my field - I mean I’m in political science, you know, governing, politics, diplomacy, all that shit, but here I am working with an astrophysicist. Like, Group A has nothing to do with Group B.”

Loki just smiled as Darcy continued, describing her coursework.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos make me grin, but comments make me respond back. Talk with the author! Feed the penguins! Kick back and stay awhile!


	3. Wherein Jane is introduced to the Prince but not the Queen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane's observational skills, we discover, are great but not perfect. Darcy is perfectly capable of acting like a responsible adult when the situation merits it, but she's totally doing a happy dance on the inside. Frigga still has the power to look into her youngest son's eyes and make him cry. Thor remains an off-screen oaf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No really, all y'all are totally BAMF.

The sun was setting and Darcy’s ass was asleep, as was her left leg.

“Okay. I need to change the subject,” she said to Loki. “We can come back here, right? I mean if we leave tonight, we can return in the morning and it won’t be erased or something, right?”

Loki nodded, looking bemused.

“Okay then. Time to drag the boss lady away or she’ll be here all night. And I am so not going to be here all night.” Darcy got up as gracefully as she could, which wasn’t very, and walked over to Jane, who was squatting at the edge of the bifrost rune and taking readings with one of the devices she’d fetched from Darcy’s bag thirty minutes ago, without a word to either party in the center.

“Jane. Time to go home. Come on.”

“But I-”

“Nope. It’ll be here tomorrow. You can take more readings then. Time to go home. Come on. I’ve got a hot date.”

That caught Jane up short. “What? Who? Someone you met in town? Why didn’t you tell me, Darcy?”

“No. The nice gentleman from outer space who is going to help you with all your research, but whom you blithely and rudely ignored for the last hour. But I do have to thank you for that, because I got to monopolize his attention while you were being weird. And we have a date tonight, and yes, there will be the smexy times, so just ignore the noise after lights out. But he’s promised to help you in the morning. And if I have my way, he’ll be staying with us for some time, so, you’re welcome in advance.”

Jane’s jaw dropped. “What?” she hissed quietly. They’d been facing away from Loki, but now Jane tried to be subtle about glancing in his direction. The glance worked, but the subtle didn’t. “He’s what? I-I-- I didn’t introduce myself, because it seemed like you knew him already! You acted like you were old friends or something, so I figured Hypothesis A was right all along, and I would just get on with collecting data. Did you see those markings! I mean, oh my God! But are you saying that Hypothesis B was it all along! _And you didn’t tell me immediately?_ ”

“Yeah, no. This is not my fault. Just because you have no manners or social skills, doesn’t mean I have to tell beautiful men to stop talking to me.”

“You can’t sleep with him!”

“Oh the hell you say.” There was no fire in Darcy’s voice because really, nothing on earth was going to keep Darcy from sleeping with Loki. Except possibly having so much sex with him that there was no time for actual slumber. So really, arguing with Jane was just a matter of form.

“No! He’s an asset! Like a grantor, but even better! He’s going to be a colleague and I can’t allow my intern to sleep with my colleague!”

“Jane, you’re being silly. And besides, _he_ asked _me_ to dinner. It’s not like I propositioned him or anything.” At least, not out loud. “Live with the disappointment that I’m going to be banging the most beautiful and intelligent man either one of us is ever likely to meet in the entirety of our lives and move on. He’s going to help you build a successful Golden Gate Space Bridge. Let that be your consolation prize.”

Jane did the gaping fish thing again.

“Really?” she whispered.

“Really which? That I’m going to be sexed up to within an inch of my young life, or that you’re going to get a successful bridge out of the bargain?”

Jane blinked and gaped some more. “Yes,” she finally answered.

“Oookay. Let’s reboot this system. Here’s the new game plan: We’re going to walk over there and I’m going to introduce you to my future husband. Then we’re all going to drive back to the gas station and you have exactly one hour to grill him on whatever topic you like. Then he is off the clock until eight tomorrow morning. You may have him, so far as he agrees to it, from eight in the morning until six in the evening, unless there is a special event thingie at night. And it has to be really special, Jane. Not fake special. And Jane, let me be perfectly clear - from six in the evening until eight in the morning, you may not have him. You may not monopolize him. You may not keep him late for just one more thing. From six at night till eight in the morning, his time is officially booked and he will be busy. And if you need reminding of how busy he will be, I will be happy to demonstrate in a way that you will find highly unprofessional, but I’m telling you right now, Jane, this is your first and only warning. I don’t normally do this around you absent minded science types, but I’m drawing firm boundaries and my boundaries will be respected. Are we absolutely and positively clear?”

“Crystal,” Jane said, her eyes looking alert. “Introduce me.”

That went better than Darcy had expected.

“Okay. Well. Come here, then.”

And then Darcy realized that this was the first moment in her internship that she would actually get to do something political. Something important. Something diplomatic. Her inner fangirl was making a suspiciously high pitched squee. She took a deep breath as they came closer and for the first time, Loki rose.

Shit, he was tall. And, kind of big. Not, like, huge. Lean, tall, and lots of him within that lean and tall business. Focus!

Darcy cleared her throat. She’d been talking with him since they’d arrived, and she could totally do this.

“Your Highness, please allow me to present Doctor Jane Foster, PhD. She is the astrophysicist who is researching faster-than-light travel between planets, and the supervisor of my internship. Dr. Foster, please allow me to present to you His Royal Highness, Prince Loki of Asgard, Sorcerer and Master of Chaos. He is the second in line to the throne of Asgard and is here on an unofficial diplomatic mission to aid our planet in whatever ways may be most useful. He has decided to offer you his help, first, if you want it.”

She did it. Her voice never cracked, she didn’t slip into sarcasm and there was no word vomit. She did an actual diplomatic introduction! With important people! And Dad was worried that she’d be flipping burgers next year! _**Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!**_

Darcy was ready to walk behind them and muse on her bright future as a member of the state senate rather than a junior lackey, and so was no longer really listening to what was going on - Jane had already started in on the science questions and there seemed to be a pop quiz. What Darcy wasn’t prepared for was Loki’s courtesy. He waited for half a heart beat, standing in an odd position and looking at her, but then ended up by taking her right hand - they were touching, **_they were touching_** \- and slipping it into the crook of his arm before he would walk at Jane’s side and answer her questions.

Chivalry was not dead, and Darcy’s heart did a funny little flip.

* * *

The token sent sparks through his left wrist to warn him that his mother would presently be walking the illusion to visit with him. Loki held up his hand to Jane in order to halt her flow of words.

“I’m terribly sorry for the intrusion, but I am about to receive an important message. I’ll step outside, but I promise to return shortly.” Before he finished speaking he was already walking toward the door they had used to enter the circular building which headquartered Jane Foster’s research.

“Uh, okay,” he heard behind him, before the door closed.

While Loki had no desire to have his conversation overheard, or have to make pretty and introduce his mother to his host, he also thought it would do Jane’s natural skepticism a bit of good to see her materialize in front of him in order to converse. So he only took a few steps away from the door and stayed within sight of the huge front windows. He could feel Jane’s eyes on him when his mother appeared, looking tired.

“Mother,” he greeted quietly, smiling.

One eyebrow immediately arched as she took him in. “My son, Midgard has done you good, already. You look… exceptionally well.”

Loki did not restrain his laugh. “I feel exceptionally well. My plans have only just this evening been planted, but I shall tell you of them long before the harvest. Not yet, though. The shoots are too fragile and green and in need of my attention to be relied upon to bear the fruit they promise.”

“I noticed that you took your library with you, as well as other items and supplies. It seems that you plan on staying for some very great length of time. Is this not so?”

Loki stopped laughing and the grin left his face. “Baring other eventualities, that was my plan, yes.”

“And what if I were to tell you that your father had changed the line of succession in your favor?”

Loki took a deep breath and slowed his heart rate back down again. “I sincerely hope that nothing befalls yourself or Father before Thor is ready to take up his place in the line of succession once more. I find that I now want the crown no more than I have ever wanted any of Thor’s cast offs.” Loki was embarrassed at the bitterness in his voice. This shouldn’t hurt as much as it did. But apparently, it did.

“Loki,” Frigga said in admonishment.

He closed his eyes and tried to regulate his heart. “I will not apologize for being in pain, Mother. And once my heritage is widely known, I would not be accepted. How is Father?”

“He sleeps. I am Regent and the Council is not wholly pleased. Thor is worse than ever. I have told no one that you left without the All-Father’s blessing, which he has since given you. The Council is incensed that the All-Father has sent you away on a long-term diplomatic mission to Midgard at such a time, but I have refused to countermand his order.”

Loki felt his eyes filling with tears, but said nothing.

“Do you require any assistance, here?”

He shook his head.

“Shall I have your apple sent to you at harvest?”

He nodded.

They fell silent and Loki looked at his mother. She looked so very tired, and she had no one. Thor was an ass. Odin was asleep. The Council wasn’t cooperating and he was off playing diplomat in Midgard.

“Mother,” he said in a hoarse whisper, “should I return?”

A grim smile swept over her face. “No indeed. You have already found something here that you have lacked for too long and I will not take you away from it without just cause. Do not fear for me.” Amusement twinkled in her eyes. “I shall win over the Council and I may very well do something about your brother before even Odin awakes. The realm is at peace. All shall be well.”

She smiled at him quietly for a long time before she spoke again.

“Loki, may each of your endeavors here be blessed,” she began the ritual words. “May you successfully meet, advise and contract with all whom you desire to do so. May your enemies lie vanquished before you. May you find all you have sought, and if we meet not again in this life, I will drink to your health in Valhalla until we meet once more.”

The tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

“Mother-” he choked out, but could say no more.

“I love you, Loki. We shall speak again, soon. And I would hear of the things that are bringing you such joy.”

She reached out to touch his face and the illusion began to disappear in a green line beginning at her fingertips until, just moments later he was alone in the night. Without conscious effort, his head slowly tipped and his gaze rose until he could take in what galaxies and stars could be seen from his vantage point. He sniffed and blinked away yet more tears. He would cast a minor cleansing spell on himself before he went back in to speak with Jane Foster and await the lovely Darcy, but for now he let the tracks of tears be.

Loki had felt the blessing wash over him as she spoke it and already he knew that between his own skills and the blessing of the Bearer of Gungnir, he would be successful here on Midgard. Things would be just a bit easier than they might have been. Unforeseen complications would crop up less often and foes would be thwarted more often. If anything could go right, it probably would.

As his thoughts turned to Frigga’s other news, he sighed. Crown prince. His emotions were warring within him at the news, but finally he ended up laughing into the night’s sky.

His final thought before he left the dark and returned to his work was, _Darcy will enjoy that._


	4. Wherein chaos gets the better of its master.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twenty questions turns into sex, which turns into angst, which turns into make-up sex, which turns into twenty questions, which turns into angst, which turns blue, which leads to sex, whereafter there are more questions, and then Frigga shows up at four in the morning. Darcy has the last word.

Loki was thoroughly enjoying himself on Midgard. Jane Foster was a fascinating Human and her capacity for intuitive leaps beyond her observed data or her mathematical equations made him wonder what kind of sorceress she might be able to become, if only she had enough time for the latent magic in her to develop. In the Aesir it took nearly a century to show, and another three to train properly. Loki himself had gone on to receive another five centuries of training and mentorship before he was satisfied that he had explored and trained his abilities completely. Small wonder there was so little magic on Midgard. There was no time for it.

His thoughts snapped back into the present when Darcy Lewis emerged from the short hallway that led to the residential portion of the building. She looked radiant and he murmured his apologies to Jane just before he went to her, taking up her hands and bowing over them.

“You honor me with your presence,” he murmured quietly to her.

_‘I am officially ruined for all Earth guys. Whenever this eventually ends, I may have to join a convent.’_

It began again. It was particularly strong when in close proximity to her, and it was almost impossible to not hear what Darcy was thinking when he met her eyes, which he dearly wanted to do for completely unrelated reasons. It was ridiculous how easy it was to hear her. He had never in his life encountered someone with absolutely no mental or emotional shielding, at least toward him.

Most people redoubled their mental shielding when he was around, though he largely met with individuals who knew his capacity. Still. It was… thoroughly refreshing to truly know that her attraction was genuine, and profound. It was a brand new experience, to be wanted for himself, and not his position, or worse, his proximity to Thor.

“Thank you,” she breathed out quietly, her voice not quite even.

Loki thrilled to know how deeply he was affecting her. It stunned him to think that she had fallen in love with him. At first he was perfectly willing to come to her bed without perfect reciprocity of her feelings, but as they had talked in the desert he found himself falling…

It was the absolutely genuine truthfulness of her open mind, he realized, which razed his own protective walls, brick by brick. He realized at some point between entering the truck and exiting it just an hour ago how very few people he trusted to be truly honest with him. A week ago, the number had gone down by one, and he was decimated by Odin’s betrayal of him. Just this evening, the number had gone up by one and now… now he was flying.

Would it last? Loki had not even the slightest idea. It was clear from Darcy’s mind that she both wanted it to last and did not yet believe that it would, or perhaps that it could.

Too soon! It was too soon to be making plans of any sort, but Loki was doing it nonetheless. Already he had figured in her constant presence with him into the shape of his plans here on Midgard. He would offer her employment as his assistant in his diplomatic duties once her internship was complete. And perhaps one day he would take her up on her offer of marriage.

No! Too soon! Think not upon such things, Loki! Or so he counseled himself, for all the good it did him. Because she had asked to marry him. Offered to bear his children.

Loki’s heart skipped a beat as he considered the eight different Ladies he had tried to court at various points over the past three centuries. Spectacular failures, every one. If it weren’t for the four separate elven orgies that Thor had dragged him into, he would still be an innocent. Well, there was his study into sex magic, but Darcy might not wish to…

And there lay the crux.

There was so much that Darcy did not know - about him, and about the realities of his life. She was so eager to be with him, so eager to trust him, but she did not know how much his own people mistrusted him. (Though… were the Aesir really his people, now? It was a question he did not want to face, yet.) He was a man who did magic. A prince who struggled to be a warrior. So slight, so dark, so pale, so quiet. In all of the ways that Darcy seemed to instinctively trust him, the Aesir instinctively didn’t.

Only a moment had passed since she had spoken, but Loki could feel that she’d sensed his mood shifting.

“Do you want to take some time to freshen up? I set out some clean towels for you in the bathroom,” she said.

“That is very considerate of you. You have my thanks.” Loki squeezed her hands ever so slightly before releasing her and stepping back to simply look at her in appreciation for another moment more.

Her dress was black and not nearly the length that the Aesir would find becoming, though Loki quite enjoyed it. Her breasts were on glorious display and her legs were long and lean. She wore slippers with long, blade-like heels that he knew were quite fashionable on Earth of late. And her face - she was truly a beauty. Her lush lips had the same tint they would acquire naturally after he had been kissing her for hours, which he dearly hoped would occur. Her blue eyes were unobscured by the glasses she’d worn previously, and they were luminous. Her soft skin glowed with youth and health.

And her heart was his.

He could feel it, just standing there with her. It wasn’t quite like reading her thoughts as she projected them to him. It was somehow different, but no less overwhelming. It was as if the core part of her emotions, the very heart of her, was somehow, partially within him. It wasn’t as if they were connected, per se, but he could feel part of Darcy inside of him. Which really just made him think of a part of his own body which would shortly be inside of her…

Loki quietly excused himself and found the bathroom as the realization hit him. It hadn’t been described to him in quite the same manner in which he now considered it, but this feeling with Darcy’s heart was familiar. At least, the theory of it.

_How is Darcy performing elven sex magic?_

* * *

“So, how is it that you know so much about Earth? And dating customs? And have US money? And how did you change your clothes - I mean, where did the new ones come from?”

“That is four questions, and hardly fair. I demand the right to a question answered for every answer I give you.”

They walked slowly in the dark across the village to the eating establishment called ‘The Diner’, which Darcy promised served edible, but not excellent food. Her hand was hot on his arm, resting in the crook of his elbow.

“How will I know if you’re lying or not?”

Loki stopped and released her hand. Then he trailed both of his from her shoulders, down her arms until he could hold her hands. He held them securely near his heart.

“Darcy, I know that this is all very new and different for you, and I know that the old stories told of me are… not flattering. But I tell you this: I will not lie to you. I will not allow the truth to be slippery in your grasp. This may mean that I will sometimes tell you things that do not please you, or I may refrain from telling you something you wish to know. But I will not lie. Not to you. And so I only ask you not to be too upset when the truth is unpleasant, or cannot be given when you wish it.”

_‘Are you for real?’_

“Very much so. And there is something very real and very beautiful between us that I will not tarnish with lies.”

_‘I love you. OH SHIT!’_

He squeezed her hands, trying to reassure. “I know you do. And I am trying to understand my own feelings for you. I will let you know the moment that I can say the same.”

“You’re not going to run away, though, right?” she asked timidly.

“Quite the opposite.”

He started walking with her, again, arm in arm. “To answer your first question, the first three, perhaps, this is not my first trip to your realm. Or planet? Perhaps I should become accustomed to calling it such. I’ve come here quite often in the past hundred years.”

_‘Hundred, oh shit. How old are you?’_

“Ah, but it is my turn to ask a question.”

“Hey! No fair - only questions I ask out loud count.”

“As you wish,” Loki replied mildly. “What do you truly hope to do after you finish your internship? Is it as you have considered before - a junior lackey in the state senate?”

She shrugged. “It’s what I was hoping for before. You being here on an unofficial diplomatic mission has kind of opened my eyes to other possibilities. I’m not sure, anymore.”

“It’s official now - my mother sent me a message, and I have been given the throne’s blessing.”

“That’s great. So, how are things at home, then?”

Loki sighed. “Not particularly good at the moment, but I have not been recalled. My father sleeps, and for how long is unknown. My mother rules as Regent, but is not yet respected. My brother continues to be an idiot, and has been temporarily removed from the line of succession.”

“For reals?”

“Yes.”

“Whoh.”

He could feel her deflate.

“Darcy, what is it?”

“You mean you can’t just tell?”

He intentionally tried to read her and had a moment of panic when all he got was a blank wall - the same sort of blank wall he was used to with so many of the Aesir who intentionally shielded themselves from him. Loki took a deep breath and pushed down a surprising amount of panic.

“Apparently, when you are upset you shield your mind quite naturally. It is... _unnerving_.”

They were still walking, but had slowed even more.

“Okay, I’ll just say it, then. So, now that you’re crown prince, are you going to have to go back at the drop of a hat? And hey, shouldn’t you have, like, guards?”

It was two questions, but he answered them all the same. “My mother would not call me home unless my father had died or she were dying, in which case, I would wish to go. But I will not leave lightly, and I will not abandon you. And no, I need no guards. For any situation short of an act of war, they would only get in my way. And I do not intend to wage war.”

“Oh. Okay.” Her voice was bleak, her mind a blank wall.

“Darcy?” He stopped and pulled her to him. She wouldn’t meet his eye. His left hand rose to her jaw and he gently brushed the back of his fingers against the softness of her skin. “Darcy,” he started, quietly. Someone walked by, but Loki ignored them. “All shall be well. My parents are in fine health. The realm is at peace. My mother is wonderfully competent and persuasive and she will soon have everyone eating out of the palm of her hand. Nothing will go wrong and I shall remain here for a very, very long time. And you shall remain with me for as long as we both wish it.”

She took a deep breath and finally met his eye. All of the animation he had seen in her before was still absent. And he could hear nothing.

“Sorry for freaking out. I don’t even know why I did.”

He smiled a little and shifted closer to her. The palm of his left hand was now caressing her face, now moving to cup the back of her head.

“Could it be that you’ve only just fallen in love with me and it breaks your gentle heart to think I could be taken away?” Her lips were so red, so full.

“Yeah, probably something like that.” So supple, so lush.

“My darling, your concern warms--” So warm, so soft, and o damnation, he wanted to ravish her against the nearest wall. The kiss was but a brief meeting of lips, which was likely the best, considering they were on the high street of the village and had not yet procured the promised dinner.

* * *

“Tell me something about you that no one else knows,” she said.

“No one at all? Or something that only my family would know?”

“Mmm, yes.”

“That’s two questions,” he pointed out, eating a french fry.

“Then ask a question of your own in between.”

Loki thought for a moment. So many possible answers would require explanation far longer than they had time for tonight.

“No one knows, and I doubt they even suspect,” he began softly, “that I haven’t yet taken a lover in my life. Further details-” he started, at the look on her face, “I will be happy to divulge later this evening, when we are in private. My turn. You do not need to answer aloud, if you do not wish,” he qualified softly. “How many lovers have you taken to your bed?”

Her blush was immediate. _‘Three. Sort of. Beds were rarely involved. They weren’t all, you know, super awesome. Oh God, and you’re over a hundred years old and you haven’t even had one. Do you think I’m like, a super slut or something? This is my next question - you totally have to answer it.’_

He smiled gently. “No, I think nothing of the kind.” He did a quick mental check to ensure no one was currently listening to their conversation, which had happened on and off through the meal. “No lovers, but four orgies. As I said, I shall give you as many details as you like, in private.”

Her jaw dropped. _‘ORGIES! I AM SO JEALOUS! I WANT TO BE IN AN ORGY WITH YOU! ...No, wait, I’d have to share you. Never mind. I really don’t want that. But I really do want to hear all about it at some point soon. Because of reasons. Involving Loki Orgies. Oh, shit, that’s a mental image I’m going to carry with me till my dying day.’_

Loki laughed around his bacon cheese burger and put it down in order to wipe his mouth. “My darling, I intend to give you plenty of first hand mental images to keep with you when I am not at your side. You will not have to rely on my stories. Next question. When your internship ends with Jane, will you let me hire you as my assistant, even as I keep you as my consort?”

Oh, well. That question. He hadn’t intended to ask it tonight. Or even perhaps in the next thirty days. But it had just slipped out. O mercy, he wanted to keep her, please, forever. Was this love? Was this what Odin felt for Frigga? Or Volstagg for his lady?

 _‘OH MY GOD, YES!’_ She cleared her throat. “I’ll, uh, think about it.”

Loki burst out laughing, garnering stares from some of the other patrons. Mostly the ones who were listening to parts of their quiet conversation. After a moment to collect himself, he was able to look her in the eye. She was blushing again. “Darcy, I find you universally charming.”

She savagely bit into a fry and he continued to chuckle. “Yes, yes. Laugh at me. See how far that gets you tonight.” Ah, but she was bluffing and they both knew it. “Okay, fine. You already know my answer. But we will be negotiating a salary and benefits package, and I expect a fantastic severance package and a written recommendation too, regardless of whether this thing between us works out. I will not have you messing up my resume just because you get called back home, or get tired of playing house with me. And I want it all in writing, and notarized. And if shit gets real, I want hazard pay. I won’t die for science, but I don’t particularly want to die for diplomacy, either. Are we clear?”

Her gaze was hard, and Loki found himself quite thoroughly aroused at the sight of it. He nodded absently, wondering if they really needed to finish their meal. He was less hungry than he had been a moment ago.

“Nuh uh, Mr. Mischief. Repeat after me, ‘I agree to negotiate a reasonable employment package with Darcy so that her basic needs will all be met, regardless of how long I linger here.’”

O how he wanted her! The lust was coursing through his veins and he had rarely experienced such a rush of sensation. Only the frenzy of battle could compare. His sense of decency restrained him from taking her right on the table, but the thought was there.

“I, Loki of Asgard, agree,” he began, his voice barely above a dark growl, “to negotiate a reasonable employment package,” he could see her eyes dilate and her breathing quicken, “with Darcy Lewis of Midgard so that all of her needs will be met, regardless of other circumstances.”

“That wasn’t quite what I’d said,” she whispered on a halting breath.

“I know,” he growled, staring at her intently.

“You still hungry? I’m not really hungry.” She was panting for air.

“No.” He wanted to devour her.

“If you throw forty bucks on the table, we can leave right now.”

He did so as she slid out of the booth, grabbing her purse in one hand and clasping his hand in the other as she led them out of The Diner. They had a bit of an audience, but Loki couldn’t care less.

He was considering the merits of teleporting with her, but worried that it might surprise her and ruin the mood. He wouldn’t chance it, but perhaps he did need to tell her more about his abilities, as she hadn’t yet asked of what he was capable. Loki was quite surprised, then, when she dragged him off course.

“Darcy, please, let us not be distracted--oof!” She had pushed him against the wall in a tight little alley between the buildings, but he caught her as she was about to sink to her knees. “I have a better idea.” He held her tight. “Close your eyes and trust me.”

Loki kept the rune for teleportation constantly written in his mind, so all he had to do was mentally glance at it and they were standing in their embrace outside of Jane Foster’s headquarters.

“Please, my darling girl, won’t you take me to your bed and ravish me to within an inch of my young life?” His voice was still dark and low, but he couldn’t help it.

Without a word, she took him by the hand and led the way inside. They walked quickly past Jane, but did not stop.

“Hey guys, how was dinner-- oh, right. Okay. Um, I might just call it a night, too.”

If she was going to say anything else, Loki did not know it, for he followed his beloved through the tight hallway, past the bathroom and into one of two remaining doorways. Just moments after he shut the portal behind him, he found himself pressed up against it.

“Neat trick,” she said. “But I’m still going to do this. So, when was the last time you had an orgy?” On her knees, now, she was focused on unfastening his breeches and so Loki busied his hands in her hair.

“Nearly two hundred years.”

 _‘Whoh, we’re really going to have to discuss your age at some point. Later. Definitely. Later.’_ “And when was the last time you choked the monkey?”

Loki blinked in incomprehension. He condoled himself with the softness and silkiness of her dark hair. “I don’t understand your meaning.”

“I mean, when was the last time you... brought yourself to orgasm?”

Oh. Interesting way of putting it. “Several months ago.”

“And you’re completely healthy? No strange orgy-based diseases I need to know about?”

“Com-plete-ly health-y…” he managed to stutter as she achieved her goal and without pushing his breeches down off his hips, simply pulled his manhood out from within and began working at him with her hand.

“Excellent. Me, too. For your information, I’m on the pill, and this ends the question and answer portion of our evening.”

When she sucked his cock past her red lips, Loki’s head lolled back and thudded against the door as he groaned.

* * *

“Darcy, I, I, O Sweet Mercy!”

She was doing something delicious with her hand as she sucked on the end of his masthead. And just as intense as that was the Darcy Lewis Subtext Frequency Broadcast.

_‘I would have done it, you know. Gone down on you in that alley, sucked you dry. Just a quick one, just to tide you over. And then you could pay me back in spades. I’m so wet, you know. And I’m not wearing any undies. I fully expect you to spend some quality time with your head between my thighs. And then, I figure, we could get to that portion of the night were we actually take off each other’s clothes. But I say, take the edge off first.’_

“Yes,” he breathed. “Yes, o yes.”

_‘You taste good. Shit, I hope this does take the edge off, because if you’re actually intending to do important things here and I’m going to assist you, then I really need to not be fantasizing about sucking your cock all the time.’_

Loki groaned at the very thought of it while he was encompassing the current bliss of it, of intimately knowing every time she wanted to take him in her mouth, to bring him to completion, to swallow down his essence. He would never get any work done at all. Then again, perhaps he didn’t need to fix S.H.I.E.L.D. and help to secure Midgard. No one had asked him to. Really, he was meddling. Perhaps finding a wife was accomplishment enough. He certainly hadn’t managed it in Asgard in three hundred years of trying.

Oh yes. He was marrying her. Loki wasn’t even sure if what he felt was love yet, but he was certain it was only a matter of time. And in the meantime, he was certain that this was the mischievous minx he wanted to spend the rest of his days with. The one he could trust to be truthful, the one who wanted him for himself, the one who would argue for him and with him when she felt the need, the one who was capable of being royal with all of the politics that came with it, and, well, yes, the one who was currently sucking his cock with such blatant and gratuitous enthusiasm that o, o, “O, _Darcy_!” he gasped. He managed to choke out between groans, “I- am- finished-”

She swallowed him back with a satisfied hum and continued to milk him until he was, indeed, finished.

_‘You may be ‘finished’ - and I hope you caught the air quotes - but we are so not done here. The night is young, and it’s a beautiful time to be Darcy Lewis. Everyone should try it at least once.’_

Her lips slipped off his softening limb and she rose to her feet once more. With the dagger-heeled slippers she was nearly his height and she offered herself up for a kiss while she met his eyes.

His own eyes fluttered shut as he leaned in and his arms wound around her waist to pull her in tightly. He met her lips with his, softly at first. His tongue darted out and before long the languorous dance began and he could taste himself quite distinctly. Her tongue was as soft as it has seemed on his sensitive mast and Loki found himself sighing against her.

After a long while of kissing against the door, Loki had enough wherewithal to gently walk her backwards toward the edge of the bed. His breeches were at an uncomfortable place of being not quite on his hips and not quite off, so he secured them with a thought and continued on. He paused in the kiss, and while his hands rubbed her back, he surveyed his options. It was a much smaller bed that he was used to, but they would be comfortable enough for a time, anyway. There was room for but one pillow, and it warmed his heart that what little she had she was willing to share with him. He released her for a moment and took the pillow up, then stripped the bed of the top dressings and sheet. Loki could hear her mental distress, but all would be well in just a moment. He folded the pillow in half and held it behind her lower back as he lowered her down to lay at the edge of the mattress.

“This is kind of awkward and not exactly comfortable Loki,” she said.

He smiled at her and sank to his knees before her, caressing her left leg and pressing kisses into it as he lifted it up to rest over his shoulder. He did the same with the right.

“Oh. Well. That’s more comfortable. Thanks.”

He chuckled darkly and kept kissing the inside of her thighs, pressing up her dress as he went further, pressing his body further toward her core. He felt her legs shift and slide as he inched closer to her. The pillow supported her back and left his hands free to wander and touch. He sampled the different and beautiful textures of her legs. Smooth and silky in some places and so unimaginably soft in others. The scent of her was intoxicating. Her musk was full and earthy - she had not been exaggerating when she’d told him how wet she was - and his mouth watered to have a taste of the savory flavor.

Her hands had found his head and her fingers combed through his dark hair. He felt her shudder as he kissed and nipped at her full outer lips, far more devoid of their natural covering of hair than he would have expected. He lapped at the bare skin and was rewarded with a full throated groan.

“You are _such_ a tease, Loki Odinson.”

He groaned in annoyance, and looked up from his task. This wasn’t the time to explain how very differently names worked on Asgard, but still. Something must be said. “Kindly refrain from reminding me of my father while we are being intimate. Few other things could put me off so completely as that.” He watched her roll her eyes and simply waited until she realized he was entirely serious. Indeed, had be been hard, he would now no longer be. It took her a moment to absorb his pointed look.

“Oh.” _‘Oh, I-’_ and then there was nothing. Her mental barriers slammed down and the room was terrifically quiet. He watched as she licked her lips, her eyes darting around the room. She swallowed heavily and then squirmed out of his grasp, extracting her legs from over his shoulders, and Loki realized he was a fool.

She had never felt as comfortable and free with another man as she did with him, but now he’d goneand sternly reprimanded her for making nothing more than an honest mistake. He knew much more about her culture than she did about his. It was entirely unfair of him. Damnation.

She was standing next to the bed, pulling down the bottom hem of her dress before folding her arms over her chest in a protective gesture.

“Darcy,” he began, rising to his feet and approaching slowly. “I am terribly sorry for making you feel this way. I was too harsh, and at the wrong moment.”

“Yep. You were,” she said quietly, arms still wrapped around herself.

“May I touch you, Darcy?”

She nodded, and he moved slowly around until he was behind her, so that she could keep her protective stance with her own arms held just so. Loki lightly touched her back with one hand and shifted her hair over her shoulder so that he could lean in and speak quietly near her ear.

“ You offer me such a priceless gift, Darcy of Midgard, and I was a fool to treat it lightly. You have offered me your gentle heart. You have offered me your luscious body. You have offered me your hand in marriage. You have offered to bear my children. And Darcy, I would take your heart.” He let his hands softly encircle her waist, waiting to see if she would reject his advances. “I would take it, and give you my own for your keeping.” He could feel her gasp, hear her breathing stutter. He let his embrace tighten slightly. “I would take your body and learn with you how best you receive pleasure. I would take your body over and over again, and give you mine in return. I would teach you what pleases me, and together we would find new heights of pleasure.”

“Loki,” she breathed out, her voice one full of longing.

“I would take your hand in marriage,” he said quietly and felt her stop breathing altogether. “If you indeed offer it freely, I would take your hand in marriage and give you mine in return. I have longed to find a woman half as beautiful, half as truthful as you, and yet never imagined that I could deserve someone thus, nor find such a one who would love and respect me in return.” She was shaking and her arms slipped over his.

“Loki,” she said, her voice breaking.

“My sweet Darcy. You have offered to bear my children. I find myself unexpectedly delighted at the prospect. Indeed, we shall have as many children as you desire and they shall all be showered with love and affection. Though if they end up looking as I do, I can only hope that they will also be shapeshifters.”

“What is it with you and the non sequiturs, already?” Then, in a flood, her mind opened to him again and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“My apologies. Now, where were we?”

“You were about to sex me up to within an inch of my young life.”

His right hand drifted down her side, down her hip, down her leg until he could drag the fabric back up again. This time he buried his hand in her folds and revelled in her dripping core. His left hand held her abdomen and pulled her tight in against his increasingly hardening length.

“Ah! Ah, Loki!” Her breathing was harsh, and it was quite understandable, given his recent explorations. The center of her love was engorged and throbbing underneath his patient touch. Her core was slippery and Loki spread the milk of her pleasure everywhere. He held her tightly and continued his ministrations as he spoke to her softly.

“So beautiful, my darling Darcy. You are so soft and yielding, I want to fill you with all joy. And yet, at dinner, you were forceful and strict and I nearly took you over the table, the rest of the patrons be damned. You were full of passion and fire and I wanted to bathe in it. I wanted to match passion for passion and fire for fire and see if there was anything left of the original Darcy and Loki when the fire had consumed what it would. You consume me, my darling girl, my young beloved, and there is no place I would rather be than here. No where I would rather go than to stay here, wrapped around your body, learning your pleasure, sharing secrets and building dreams.”

Her mind was an incoherent tangle of adoration, and Loki welcomed in his new definition of normal with a renewed effort to make his beloved betrothed reach her pleasurable peak.

Loki held her as she shook and gasped, her orgasm coming in small panting moans.

After a moment, Loki removed his hand from her core and licking as he went, shifted his boots into N-space. He relocated her pillow back to the top of the bed and lay down, pulling her after so that she would rest half on top of him, and half on her bed. Her head lay cradled by his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. Darcy curled into him and released a sigh.

 _‘Best make-up sex, ever,’_ she thought, when coherence returned.

Loki smiled and held her close.

“Were you serious about all of that?” she asked.

“Yes,” Loki replied, simply. And then thought to add, “and I do believe I can confirm with conviction that I love you. And I look forward to loving you for the rest of my years.”

“And how long will that be?” _‘And how old are you anyway?’_

“A very long time, indeed. I am past my tenth century, which is three past my majority, and I may live another forty more. Shorter, if I am killed in battle. Longer, with care and magic.”

Darcy picked her head up from his chest and stared at him with shock in her gaze. “Are you _shitting_ me?”

“No.” She did have a variety of interesting ways to check his veracity. He would have to keep an accounting of them.

“There is a way for you to match your lifespan to mine, and it is my desire that you should do this thing, for eighty years is too short a time to entwine our lives and enter into joy.”

“Does it hurt?”

He smoothed her hair and held her face in his hand. “No, my love. As you are my intended, there would be no arduous trial for you. It is as simple as eating an apple at harvest time. The pain will come when you face the death of others. No matter how long the life, a goodbye must be eventually said, and it does not get easier with age.” He paused for a brief moment of remembrance.

“I’ll do it. Yes to all of it. I’ll take your heart and your body and your hand and your children. Will I get to be a diplomat with you?” _‘Will I get to make a difference in the world?’_

“Yes, my brightest girl. Yes you will.”

Darcy breathed a soft snort of laughter. “Okay, I finally get why you keep calling me a girl.  You are seriously robbing the cradle, here. But you know, I _am_ twenty-one. Have been for two months. That means, in the land of hamburgers and fries, that I am in my majority. I am officially a woman. Just so you know.”

Loki chuckled and pulled her up for a kiss. “Mmm, yes. You are a woman. My woman. I shall reserve the title ‘my brightest girl’ for our firstborn daughter, then, yes?”

“That reminds me. Please explain the shapeshifting comment immediately. If not sooner.”

Loki sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Ah. That.”

“Yes, that. And immediately is passing you by, buster.”

“Well. There is a much longer story here, but I shall summarize, as I had hoped to do other things this evening.

“I have always been a shapeshifter, even before the rest of my magic developed. Which as it happens, is quite good, because regardless of the fact that I am now the crown prince, neither Odin nor Frigga were my actual parents, and I am not of either race. Odin is Aesir and Frigga is Vanir. I am Jotunn. I am confident that Jotunn and Human may produce offspring, but I am concerned that said children may not appear entirely Human, as the Aesir do. Hence the hope for shapeshifters.”

Darcy started back. “So, wait, you’re shapeshifting _right now_? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you going to shift back in your sleep? Do you have tentacles? Are you going to turn into a glob of goo that needs to rest in a bucket? Oh my God! Do you lose control during orgasm sometimes? Don’t you think you should have told me before we started having sex! Do you have some sort of weird mating rituals that I would only find out about after I married you? Am I going to have little baby Cthulhus? What the actual fuck, Loki?!”

“Darcy! No, no, it’s nothing like that, I swear! No tentacles, no goo, no shifting back suddenly. I have believed that this was my true form for ten centuries, woman. I only found out last week that I was not Aesir.”

Darcy gripped his chest tightly as she calmed down. When her breathing was under control she sat up, stood up, and held out her hand.

He rose from the bed with a question in his eyes.

Darcy took a deep breath and met his gaze. “Okay. So, here’s the deal. I’m totally willing to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m willing to leave my home and all that is familiar and make a new life with you on another planet whenever it is that we need to do that. I'm willing to extend my life and attend the funerals of all of my friends and family. And I’m pointing this out so that you realize the weight of what I’m about to ask you, before you just say no. So before I do this, and before I have _more_ sex with you, what I really want you to do, Loki, is to take off all of your clothes and shift your shape. I want to see the form you were born with. I want to know, no, I deserve to know what I've just agreed to.”

“I agree to do this, on two conditions,” he said, quietly.

“Name them.”

Loki spoke slowly, and found the words difficult to say. “First, that you realize that I was raised to hate and fear the Jotunn. They were a conquered people, but a race of fierce giants. Willful children are even today warned that if they do not behave, a frost giant will come and _eat them_. I… I am not fully comfortable with that form, it does not feel like my true form - this one does -  and I have only assumed it in its entirety once since I realized the truth.” Darcy’s hand was at his face, cradling his cheek. “I do not wish to be a monster,” he said on a whisper. “The most profound pain I have ever experienced, knowing that my father lied to me - to me - occurred when I discovered my true form.”

“Oh, Loki. I’ll be nice, I promise. And, I kind of want to kill your father now, just a little bit. And even if you had tentacles and weird mating rituals, I think maybe I’d still want to have your baby Cthulhus. What’s your second condition? Whatever it is, I’ll do it.” _‘My beautiful Norwegian Time Lord, I’d do anything for you.’_

The smile was but a quirk of his lips, so fleeting.

“I wish for you to undress me.”

Darcy smiled at him, but then turned around and presented him her back. “You first. The zipper is just there,” she said pointing behind her neck.

Loki’s breath caught in his throat. She wasn’t requiring that he be the only one in a vulnerable position.

“My darling love,” he whispered as he dragged the zipper down. “I do not deserve you, but I will take you all the same.” His fingertips skimmed down her back, following the curve of her spine, and then back up again. He paused at the clasp of the black strap that bisected her back. “And this?” he asked.

“Stays on for now. The girls are too big to go unsupported for long, but it’s lacy and I think you’ll like it.”

His hands drifted up to her shoulders to take the fabric there and gently pull it down over her figure. He took her in from behind and thanked the fates - not often known to be merciful - and the blessing of Gungnir. Success in his negotiations, indeed. Her figure was lush and her dark hair cascaded down her back as she shook her head slightly. Loki let his hands drift down again to her hips, and the bottom of her.

“My darling,” he confessed quietly, “you are the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld.”

“Better than those orgy chicks?” Her voice was wry, but he could hear the underlying concern plainly enough.

“They are as nothing, compared to you.”

Darcy turned around, a smile on her face and Loki looked his fill, his eyes lingering at the hollow of her her throat, at her glorious breasts, the relative smallness of her waist and the flair of her generous hips. Her core he had already introduced himself to, true, but it was worth further perusal, certainly. He longed to wrap her luscious thighs around his hips. Her slim calves seemed even longer than normal with her feet arched in her dagger shoes, which she seemed content to remain in.

“My turn,” she said. She walked around behind him and slipped the jacket off his shoulders. Then the shirt, with all of its buttons went next. He slipped out of his socks, after that, and she was already adept at opening his breeches. He stood before her in all of his naked glory, his staff beginning to harden again. She took one circuit around him, humming her appreciation even as her mind was explicitly detailing a few of her latest fantasies. And, yes, he was now fully hard. This would be a very interesting diplomatic mission, if he decided to go through with even a portion of it.

Darcy sat down on the edge of the stripped bed, crossing her legs and leaning back on one arm.

“Alright. I’m ready. Impress me, sweetheart,” she said, with a grin.

Loki took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It would be easier this way. He also steeled himself for the slamming shut of her shields, which would inevitably follow.

He thought of the cold of Jotunheim. So cold, so dark. He thought of touching the ancient cask, how it seemed to release something within him that had always lay sleeping, just beneath the surface. He looked for that sleeping thing and reached out to take it. And when Loki had it in his hands, he could feel the change slip over him. He knew his skin was darkening, his eyes were darkening. Lines all over his body were suddenly so very sensitive to everything - the heat of the room, the tiny eddies of air made by their breath.

 _‘Blue!’_ “Blue is good. I like blue.” _‘Pretty. He would be pretty. I can’t believe I worried about tentacles. For heaven’s sake. I’m completely ridiculous.’_ “Can I touch you?”

Loki nodded, eyes still closed. He could feel her fingers on the back of his hand. They both hissed at the same time.

“Okay, that was super cold for me. What did it feel like for you?”

“Hot,” he replied, surprised at his voice. He was aroused, it was true, but his voice was like gravel through a grate. Loki realized that this was the first word he’d said in this form. He hadn’t thought it would change his tone, though he was expert at mimicking the voices of others, this was a surprise.

“Hot, bad?”

“No, not bad.”

_‘Oh, Loki! Your voice is like raw sex. Pure, unadulterated fucking. And the blue is really working for me.’_

Loki gasped and let his head fall back as she continued to touch him with just one finger.

“What about these markings?”

“They would have denoted my clan.”

“Did your original parents die?”

“Doubtful. I am woefully small for a frost giant. I was likely abandoned to die. I could have asked Odin of the circumstances in which he found me, but I did not think I could do so with dignity, so I made preparations to leave for Earth.”

“So much pain,” she murmured as her fingertips skimmed over the muscles of his chest. “And so much beauty. Won’t you open your eyes for me, beautiful?”

“They are different,” he warned. “Red.”

“Red. Got it. Lemme see.”

He watched Darcy’s eyes widen and felt his erection flag. Damn.

_‘Okay. The red is a tiny bit disconcerting. So here’s what we’re going to do. Tell me you love me.’_

“I love you, Darcy,” he said and watched her shiver.

_‘Call me darling. Tell me how beautiful I am.’_

“My darling, your beauty is incomparable. Your heart is the most generous I have ever known. That you have consented to be my bride finally brings to close a chapter in my life I had long wanted to be over.”

“Yeah. Okay. So not scared of the red anymore. So, um, yeah. Would it be okay with you if I went down on you just a little bit? I mean, blue cock. I’ve got to try it.”

O, and he was hard again. He could only nod.

Loki watched in wonder as she sank to her knees again and worked his member, her hands searing, but not painful. Her tongue darted out and the heat was so intense he gasped, but there was still no burn, no pain. She looked up in question and he looked down in wonder.

“Will you talk to me? Your voice really does make me drip.”

Loki’s knees nearly buckled at the wave of pleasure and emotion her words evoked. And then her lips closed around the head of his cock and he was a man lost at sea. All he could do was helplessly chant her name. He fell to his knees and she pushed him back on the floor. When she continued her work he was already at the brink. He writhed beneath her, his hands clenched into fists at his side. Still he chanted her name. He came with a roar he was distantly unaware he could make. Not that he cared much, at present.

Loki awoke to the warmth of his beloved snuggled up next to him. The floor was hard, he realized. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. There was a blanket over them, and the pillow was under his head.

“That was intense,” he said, quietly.

“Apparently,” Darcy replied. “You were out cold, for like, a whole minute, and then you were out warm for another ten. That ever happen to you before?”

He shook his head.

Darcy propped herself up over him. “So. I’m the first to go down on Big Blue, huh?”

He grinned at her and nodded. “I’m sure we will have many, many firsts together.”

“Wanna be the first space prince to lick my pussy?”

Loki shifted their positions so that he loomed over her. “My darling, I shall be the first, last, and only space prince to _lick- your- pussy_ -” he said, enunciating the last three words with delicious clarity.

“Oh, goody. Get on that, would you? It’s been ages since you last tried.”

Loki smirked as he shifted down her body and between her thighs.

* * *

They lay in bed, in between rounds. The last one had been sweet and long. The one before that, loud, passionate, and relatively quick. And before that, Loki had feasted on Darcy’s delicious and delicate quim for really, what was an entirely too short length of time, though it was all she could take.

Loki lay on his back, slightly off center of the frankly tiny bed, and Darcy was draped over him. That was all that room allowed. A bigger bed would need to be procured on the morrow. “My darling, would you mind if our wedding were small, brief, soon, and on Asgard?”

“Not in theory, no. I want my family to be able to come. Mom, Dad, and my sister and brother. And Jane, because she’s the reason I met you, and she ought to get a ride on the cosmic roller coaster, too. Would that fit with your idea of small, brief, soon and on Asgard?”

“Yes, I believe so. I shall ask my mother to solemnize the handfasting, and my brother will be there. My mother may wish you arrive the day before, so that she may meet with you and make certain preparations. Would you be willing to wear a traditional Aesir gown, or would you prefer one of Earth?”

Darcy shrugged. “Meh. Aesir is fine. I was never one of those girls who obsessed about her wedding day, princess for a day and all that-” she said, but caught herself. “I guess I’ll be princess for the rest of my life, actually.”

“Unless the worst happens, and someone actually gives me a throne. In that case you’ll be Queen. But let’s not dwell on it.”

“Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. So, how soon is soon?”

“Days. No more than a week. We will wait on Frigga’s pleasure, but she will tell us when--ah!” Loki looked to his left wrist and jumped off the bed, scrambling into his clothes. “My mother is coming, undoubtedly to discuss this with us-”

_**“WHAT?”** _

“Yes. Frigga. Walking the illusion. Here. To meet you. Get dressed and come out as soon as you can,” Loki said in a rush, dashing to the other side of the door and closing it quickly. He searched around for a light switch and finally found one that illuminated the hallway and the area beyond. No sooner than he walked several paces into the lighted room did his mother appear before him.

“Good evening, my son. I’ve just received a very interesting message from Heimdall.” There was no small smile playing about her lips.

Loki continued buttoning his shirt. At least he’d gotten his breeches properly laced before she walked in. “Good evening, Mother. The name of your future daughter-in-law is Darcy Lewis, her proper title is Miss, I have not yet met her family, but she’s wonderful and I wish her to receive an apple at harvest time. I do not wish to endanger whatever delicate balance you are attempting to achieve at home, but I thought perhaps you would marry us in the Observatory.”

“No, indeed. Though it pains me, we should not have a state wedding with your father asleep. I understand why you do not wish for a long engagement. And you are certain about her,” she said, and Loki noted it was not a question.

“Utterly.”

“When your father wakes, will you consent for a short visit, so we may celebrate your wedding and introduce your bride, then?”

“I will.”

“You realize he will wish to speak with you about other things.”

Loki gave his mother a look. Of course he knew that. And he knew she knew he knew that. She only smiled at him.

They were saved from further words by the sound of Darcy’s bedroom door opening.

Loki hastened to her and took her right hand in his, and put his left on the small of her back before walking back the short distance with her. “Mother, it is my great pleasure to present to you the woman I intend to marry, Miss Darcy Lewis of Midgard. She is of an age not to require the consent of her father, in her culture. She has answered for herself and agreed to be my bride.” He turned to Darcy. “My love, I present to you my mother, Frigga, Queen and Regent of Asgard.”

Darcy just silently smiled in a tight and nervous way.

“My child,” Frigga started, her voice full of warmth and acceptance. “I am so very glad to meet you, and relieved that you have finally come into our lives.”

Darcy giggled just as Loki looked with wide eyes to the illusory figure. “Mother!”

“Yes, yes. I shall not take up too much of your time this evening. Let’s see. The Observatory is a fine location. You will marry in the evening, and then go directly off again. But I would like Darcy to join me early in the morning. Perhaps you would wish to bring a female friend with you, or a sister if you have one?”

“Yes, thank you,” Darcy said. Loki could tell she was nervous, but he was quite proud of her lack of… word vomit. He wondered how long it would last.

“Well, then. What day would you wish to be married?”

Loki turned his full attention on Darcy. “Would your family be able to accompany us if we were to marry on the fourth day hence?”

After a moment, Darcy replied. “You mean Saturday? Sure.”

“Oh, that’s quite appropriate,” Frigga said with a smile. “What time is it now, where you are?”

“It’s four in the morning, Mother, since you ask.”

Frigga rolled her eyes at him and Darcy tried to choke back a laugh, without success.

“Well, let us say, nine in the evening on Saturday. Yes? And you shall accompany Darcy at nine in the morning, and then return, to accompany the other guests? Excellent. And now I will say good evening. Or perhaps, good morning. I look forward to seeing you both in four days hence.”

Frigga reached out and her fingertips met both of their faces at the same time. The illusion disappeared in a rapid line of green until they were alone in the building once more.

Loki watched as Darcy pulled out her piece of technology and held it up between them.

“Smile,” she said. “No, not like we’re about to have sex. I’m sending a picture of you to my family. Smile like you’ve never had sex with me and haven’t even considered the texture of my boobs.”

Loki laughed, and heard a clicking sound.

“Yep, that’s my new background. Okay. Hold on. Texting the fam your pic and telling them that we are getting eloped near Puente Antiguo, New Mexico at nine on Saturday night. They can come if they want, arrive at least an hour ahead. Will be in touch for more details. Hugs and kisses, Darcy-do.”

“That’s an interesting nickname,” he said, pulling her closer to him and catching her lips with his.

“Yeah, well. I wanted them to realize that I was really me and, and not, like, I don’t know, I was being held hostage and brainwashed or something.”

Loki’s brow furrowed. “Would your parents expect that?”

“Well, I mean, we’re from Arizona. Where things are normal. Weird shit happens in New Mexico, and you are one big, sexy case in point, my new best friend.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commenters (who are all BAMF! every last one of you) have appreciated my style of writing as concerns His Highness. In case you were curious (and my husband recommended I share my happy chant with you), it’s Shakespeare, Book of Common Prayer, Shakespeare, Book of Common Prayer, King James Version! (Feel free to chant that to a jazzy beat, ala Potter Pals.) And actually, there’s a tiny bit of Jane Austen in there. Also, the reference to elven sex magic is actually the fabulous book (unrelated to elves) ‘Sexual Energy Ecstasy: A practical guide to lovemaking secrets of the east and west’ by David and Ellen Ramsdale. And it’s awesome. I call it the sex magic book.


	5. Wherein there is exposition, a mother, a brother, and lunch.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy makes a list. Jane also decides to make a list. There's a phone call, some exposition, and a really NSFW ending which, in my humble opinion, is just what we all ought to do with the other half of our lunch hour. But, you know, to each their own.

She was operating on about twenty minutes of sleep and three cups of coffee, but Darcy thought it was a small price to pay. She had learned many things over the course of the evening. She learned that her I-mean-business voice was a serious turn on. She learned that it really was possible to have seven orgasms in one night. She learned that she was engaged to a blue shapeshifter who did not have tentacles. She learned that he really liked it when she twisted her fist around his shaft while sucking on the tip. She learned about Asgardian handfasting ceremonies (no rings were involved, but a magic rope was). And most of all, Darcy learned that when she and Loki had a session of twenty questions, trying to get to know one another, they were very distractible, indeed.

So throughout the morning, in between other assignments from Jane, Darcy started making a list. Normally during such downtime she’d be messing around on Facebook, or writing emails to friends, but quite suddenly Darcy had other apples to fry, because seriously, she had so many questions. All the questions. And really, she had no idea which of her questions he would find more or less relevant - was she even concerned about the right kind of stuff? And regardless of that, was there stuff she saw that he didn’t? He seemed to know a lot about the culture, but how much?

At first, the list was somewhat random, but by ten in the morning, and the third cup of coffee there were clear sections and hierarchies. She planned on giving it to him at lunch to look at, as she’d faithfully promised to call her mother at that point anyway.

* * *

**The On-Going List of Questions that Darcy Needs Answers To,**

**as compiled by Darcy Lewis of Tucson, Arizona.**  
***Please note that the questions marked with an * are of particular import to Darcy.**

**Your Diplomatic Mission:**

-What are your goals?

-What are the methods you imagine you’ll use to reach your goals?

-What can I do to further your goals?

-What resources do you bring to bear to meet your goals?

*Is it within your goals for the general population of Earth to know about you/us/Asguard?

\---Is it within your goals to set up an Embassy?

\------If yes, I have many more questions about this.

-Is it within your goals to be able to take some small amounts of regular time off to simply be with me and relax?

\---And what about more occasional but larger amounts of time?

-Is it within your goals to have it known that I’m from Midguard?

-Is the Yotun thing public knowledge at home?

-Do you want it to be public knowledge here?

**Your Familiarity With World Culture & American Culture:**

-Are you familiar with how the media works, its goals, and it’s biases?

-Are you familiar with how social media works?

-Are you familiar with the recent advances in technology, computers and the Internet?

*Are you familiar with our financial systems?

\---Do you already have some kind of history with the financial systems - bank accounts, credit cards, etc.?

-What (other than me) do you like about Midguard?

-What are you most familiar with?

 

**Your Abilities:**

*Please explain the Sorcerer thing.

\---What exactly can you do?

\---How long have you been doing it?

\---What does it cost you to do what you do?

*--Will you show me? Please?

-Please explain the Chaos thing.

\---No, really, just explain it.

-Please explain the Lying thing.

\---For the master of lies, you don’t seem to do much of it.

-Please explain the Mischief thing.

\---Yes. Please do. Because it seems to me that you could be the god of orgasms, or maybe romance, or possibly eloquence, but I don’t yet get the mischief thing. This does not mean that I want you to prove it to me by being mischievous all over me. I just want you to use words.

*Anything else I’ve missed. What else can you do?

**Miscellaneous:**

-Is your physiology very different from human?

-What happens if you get hurt here - should I take you to a doctor? A hospital?

*Is there a way I can contact Asguard and Frigga if something really terrible happens to you?

-Barring other circumstances, how long had you planned on being here?

*Does getting married to me change any of your plans?

*What is the budget you had planned on during your stay here?

*How much petty cash (American Dollars) do you actually have?

*What is the state of the rest of your budget - precious metals, precious jewels, other salable items?

*Are you opposed to taking a honeymoon with me (I have some ideas about what and where), when we are in a position to do so?

*Where the hell do you keep your clothes?

*Could you get me some books on Asgard’s history and culture?

*Could you get me some books on the history and cultures of the other seven realms?

*Could you get me some books on royal Asgardian protocol or etiquette?

*How much are we telling my family? We should probably discuss this further, but I’d like your opinion, and I don’t want to do anything that would mess up your mission here.

*What do you enjoy doing?  (Other than me.) Tell me everything, in detail. (And then you can go back and tell me how much you enjoy doing me. Because I don’t mind hearing about it.)

*What do you imagine your mother is going to do with me for twelve hours on Saturday?

-Why is Saturday ‘particularly appropriate’ for us to get married?

-What is the Observatory?

*What can I expect when I arrive on Asguard on Saturday?

*I’m thinking of asking Jane to go with me on Saturday, as I’m not really close to my sister and I don’t think that would be a good idea. Are you okay with this - I mean, you wanted to help her, right?

-How long are you planning on staying here and helping Jane?

* * *

Darcy had more questions than these, of course, but knowing even cursory answers to everything would be hugely helpful in determining the next round of questions. She ran out to the diner to pick up their lunch order just after noon and when she brought it back she caught Loki’s eye and smiled at him.

“Jane! It’s lunch time. It’s time for all good scientists to pause for seven minutes and acquire sustenance before continuing on with the day’s work.” Darcy dropped a white paper bag down into the middle of Jane’s paperwork. Jane paused long enough to remove the bag from her paperwork.

Loki was giving Darcy an arch look and an amused smile.

Darcy just shrugged. “If I don’t make a big deal out of interrupting her, she won’t eat. Like, at all.” Darcy paused to pull out Jane’s sandwich, unwrap it, and lay it bare on its wrapping, back on the paperwork. She then opened the packet of potato chips and dumped it out next to the sandwich. Jane moved the entire thing off to the side, but she also picked up half the sandwich and took a bite. “Do you want your lunch here, or at the dining table?”

Loki stared up at her and there was some serious heat in his gaze. Shit. There was no time for that right now.

“Where will you be eating, Darcy?”

Oh, shit. Now she was wet again.

She swallowed hard and tried to train her mind. All he really had to do was look at her and she was a big pile of goo.

“Um. The table. But I’ve got, like, ten minutes and then I promised to call my mother. But I do have something else for you.” She handed him the two paged list of questions. “I’d like the answer to all of these, this evening.

Loki raised an eyebrow as he skimmed over the first page. “The answers to some of these are quite lengthy,” he pointed out.

Darcy shrugged. “I figured that might be the case. But if you can give me an idea that’s cool, and we can go into more details later. I mean, I have so many questions, Loki. This just scratches the surface.”

“You made a list?” Jane asked, scandalized. Darcy hadn’t even realized that Jane was paying them any attention.

“Um, yes?” Darcy answered, confused.

“I’m totally making a list!”

“Okay. Cool. While you’re making your list, can I borrow Loki?”

Jane waved her off and hopped to the list making.

“Keep eating!” Darcy called over her shoulder as she made her way to the other side of the room where the table was.

“Okay,” she began as Loki followed, reading the list. “The most important question right now is how much we should tell my parents. Like, do we tell them nothing? Everything, but swear them to secrecy? Everything, but put a time limit of the secrecy - like not until a certain date or event? Everything, and it’s totally open, what? And also - I know you’re from Asgard and I totally trust you, but I’m not sure they’re going to - it’s nothing personal and I hope you won’t be offended. But would you be willing to, like, turn blue or do magic or something to prove it to them?”

Loki pulled out a chair for Darcy and waited until she was seated. Yep. She could totally get used to this. He put her list down and sat next to her. She opened their lunch bags and started distributing food.

“I wasn’t sure how much or what you wanted, but you look like the kind of guy who can really pack away the calories, so I got you three different sandwiches. If there’s something you don’t like, or if I got too much, you can just put the leftovers in the fridge and Jane will eat it for dinner.”

“Warriors on Asgard typically require much more sustenance than the average Human, so I thank you. I’ll eat it all.”

“Oh! Okay. Um, I want more about that warrior comment explained later, because that hasn’t come up yet. And also, I want to know how much we need to be feeding you.”

A warrior? He was a warrior, too? Shit, did the man never sleep or something?

And how much sleep did he need, anyway?

So many questions! All the questions!

And… Loki was laughing. You’re in my head, aren’t you? Darcy narrowed her eyes and glared at him.

Loki shook his head. “You know, I think I’m really not. I think that you simply project to me so loudly that I can’t possibly not hear you.”

“Ugh. Don’t side track me. Question. Parents. Give me your opinion, please.”

“Well, this has to do with the answer to some of your other questions, but to summarize, I have no problem with your parents knowing everything, and I would appreciate if they would keep it to themselves for a time - perhaps a few months, perhaps a year or two. I believe that by that point other parts of my plan will have come into fruition. The timing is uncertain, and dependent upon other factors, which I will be happy to discuss with you later, but I would say two years at the outside should be sufficient. As to the second part of your question, I would be more than happy to do a demonstration of my otherworldliness, though I prefer that you not mention to anyone at this point the shapeshifting, or my Jotunn heritage. I shall explain my motives later.”

He paused and looked into the distance for a moment, but Darcy knew better than to interrupt him. After a time, though, she did prompt him.

“What is it, Loki?”

“You know, as far as I can remember, my father had plans within plans within plans. And my mother knew he had reasons for doing what he did and she trusted him. But he never trusted her. He never told her why he would do things, just took it for granted that she would have no insight, no wisdom, nothing to add, nothing to improve his plans. And you know, my mother is the most intelligent and insightful person I’ve ever met. But she has ever had to plan and scheme around my father because he would never include her in at the beginning. Or really, at any point. I… This is not what I wish to do. This is not the sort of marriage I wish to have with you.” Loki met her eye for the first time in his explanation. “It is true that I am older than you and have more experience than you, but I know that I am marrying a woman full of insight, and a woman who is growing in knowledge and wisdom. I will lay my plans before you, and I fully expect you to improve them with me, and help me wherever you can to implement them. Does this suit you?”

“Ohmigod I love you so much,” she said, all in a rush.

Loki leaned over and took her face in his hands before pressing his lips against hers. She nipped at his lips with her teeth and then laved the tiny hurt with her tongue.

He leaned back all too soon. Oh, the things she wanted to do with him! She wanted to just throw him to the floor and ride him.

“I know, love. But now, you must eat. And this evening, I think, you must get some sleep. But I promise you, we have all the time we need to do all the things we wish. I promise you.”

And Darcy’s heart grew to be three times its current size.

She had taken three bites of her sandwich when her phone rang.

“Hey Mamma Bear, what’s shakin’?”

“Darcy Eleanor Lewis! Are you really getting married in three days?”

“Yep,” she said, her mouth full. “Thought you’d want to know. And I’m sorry to be talking with you while eating, but I only get a half-hour lunch, so I have to multitask.”

“You only get a half hour lunch, but your taking time away to get married?!? During your internship! You haven’t even finished college, yet!”

“No, I’m getting married on the weekend, Mom. Mostly so you guys can come, you know. You’re welcome. I could have just eloped and told you about it afterwards.”

And now her mother was crying. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you? Oh, Darcy! I just knew something terrible was going to happen to you this summer! I knew it was all going to go wrong with that strange internship you’d gotten!”

“Mother!” Darcy yelled into her phone. “I am not pregnant! I’m just getting married to the man of my dreams, okay? We met, we fell in love, we’re weirdly perfect for each other and we’re getting married, okay? You’re invited, so why don’t you tell me if you’re coming and we can go from there!”

“Of course I’m coming! We’re all coming to your wedding! Aidan’s getting the time off right now and Austin is already on his way. You know his job is a bit more flexible.”

“Wait, what? What?” Darcy blinked.

“Well, the rest of us are going to be coming out on Saturday. We’ll be staying in a hotel in Roswell, as it’s the closest place to Puente Antiguo that actually has a hotel your father would be willing to sleep in. But we all thought it would be best if Austin came out and talked to you early. You know.”

A rage welled up in Darcy that she had seldom felt before. “You did this on purpose,” she said in almost a whisper. “You’ve sent Austin to talk me out of it before I go and mess up my entire life, didn’t you? What? Did you think he could just beat up him? Or pay him off? Did you think I would actually marry someone that I wasn’t head over heels in love with?”

“Darcy, don’t you take that tone with me, young lady. We know nothing about this man you plan on marrying. I know that you and I don’t always see eye to eye and that’s why I’m not halfway to Roswell right now. I asked Austin to go so that you and he could actually talk. That’s all. Just talk. Darcy, I know we’ve had our rough times, honey, but I swear I just want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You’ve always been so different from Aidan and Austin, and I feel like the moment I just start to understand a tiny bit of you, everything changes all over again. And now you’re getting married. Marriage changes people, Darcy. I just… I just want to make sure that this marriage will change you for the better. I just want to know, Darcy, and I want to catch up and discover who is this woman you’re becoming. Because I love you, Darcy. We all love you. We don’t understand you half the time, but we love you.”

She blinked back the tears and sniffed. Her sandwich lay in front of her, forgotten. Loki got up and stood behind her, with both of his hands on her shoulders. He just stood there, silently supporting her.

“I’m sorry about what I said, Mom. I know this is really surprising. Really, I do. But I don’t want to alienate you guys. And I’m really happy to answer any question you have, though I may leave details for in person conversations, you know, because sometimes details take time. But what do you want to know right now?”

“His name would be nice, honey. If his picture is anything to go by he’s both happy and handsome.”

“Yeah, I got him on a laugh with that one,” she admitted ruefully.

Loki kissed the top of her head and returned to his seat and his lunch. She gave him a grin and answered her mother.

“His name is Loki, like the Norse God of Mischief. Next question?”

“Where is he from?”

“Well, he’s not from around here. But he has the most elegant and beautiful English accent you’ve ever heard. Next?”

“Alright. What does he do for a living? Is he a student?”

“Nope. Works in the family business. More details later. Next?”

“Do you plan on working, once you’re married?”

“Yep. Details to follow. Next.”

“Does he make enough money to support you? And pay your student loans while you look for work?”

“Yeah, that’s not really going to be a problem. I get the impression that his family’s pretty loaded. Though for reals, we’re having that conversation tonight. Next?”

“Just checking and don’t get mad, but you’re really not pregnant, are you?”

“Nope. I promise. Though we have discussed kids and the fact that we’ll be having them at some point.”

“I’m finally going to be a grandmother!”

“Don’t get too hopeful, Mom. I’m young yet. I’ve got plenty of time. Next.”

“Have you met his parents? Or has he been as squirrely as you have?”

“Hah! In fact, his mother skyped at four in the morning and I met her then. Not his dad, though. But his mom’s super sweet. Next.”

“Does he have any tattoos or facial piercings?”

“Um, no facial piercings. He has a couple of tattoos, but all very tasteful celtic designs, and none of them where you could see when he’s wearing a suit.”

“Oh, well, that’s alright. How old is he?”

“Oh, a couple of years older than me.”

“Is he an only child?”

“No. He has a brother. Haven’t met him, but I hope to at the wedding.”

“Who all is going to be at this wedding?”

“Well, you guys, us, his mom and brother, and Jane my mentor here at the internship, because she was the one who sort of introduced us, and I owe her big time. But no one else. Super small wedding.”

“Who is going to officiate? Is this a church ceremony?”

“Uh, his mom is handling all of those details. I’m not worrying about it.”

“Wait, you didn’t mention his father. Has he passed away?”

“No, but his father is in a coma so he won’t be attending. But no, no, no” she said as her mother squeaked. “Everyone is really sure he’s going to be fine. He just needs time. It’s cool. Loki’s not worried. Next?”

“Where are you planning on living once you get married?”

“We haven’t decided yet. Next?”

“What are you doing for a honeymoon?”

“We haven’t decided yet. Might take one sooner, might take it later. It depends. Next?”

“Did he even give you an engagement ring?”

“Nope. But I’m going to bring that up sooner than later.” Loki gave her an inquiring look, but Darcy just rolled her eyes. Like she was going to answer him now. “Next?”

“Does he make you happy, Darcy?”

“Yes.”

“Can you talk to him, even about the difficult stuff?”

“Yes.”

“Have you weathered your first disagreement, yet?”

“Yup.”

“Is he going to be good to you? You know Austin will kill him if he’s not good to you.”

“Mom, he’s so good to me.”

“What’s he like?”

Darcy grinned and put her chin in her hand as she stared at Loki. “He’s beautiful and truthful and elegant. He’s maybe the most honest guy I’ve ever met. He’s wicked smart. He’s talented. He’s successful. He’s caring and thoughtful. He’s great in bed. I think he might secretly be an enlightened zen master. I’m not entirely sure what he sees in me, but I’m grateful he sees it. He’s really my own personal Prince Charming. He’s just… he’s wonderful, Mom. He’s just wonderful. And if we weren’t getting married, I’d be completely ruined for other guys. He’s just… he’s perfect.”

“I’m not, you know,” Loki said, putting down his sandwich.

“Darcy, is he right there?” Her mother was entirely too excited about the prospect.

“Yes, he is. And no, I’m not putting him on the phone, so don’t ask. And you know, I gotta go anyway. When is Austin due to arrive?”

“He’s driving, and I think he’s going to check into his hotel in Roswell first, so you could expect him around six, maybe.”

“Alright, I’ll call him and get his ETA so I can plan for dinner. I gotta go. I love you, and I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Alright, alright. I love you, too. Give my love to Loki, and don’t let that elegant English stud wear you out too much.

“MOTHER!” But she’d already hung up.

Darcy put down her phone, glaring at it. She could tell she was blushing.

* * *

Since her older brother Austin was going to be showing up for dinner, thus cutting into her very private Darcy-Loki twenty questions/playtime, she decided to cut to the chase.

“Is it cool if we go through as much of my list as we can, in a kind of overview way, before Jane calls you back? And no getting side tracked. I’ll make a mental note of further questions I need to ask. I mean, seriously, I need like a barebones download of information, here. But you know, you should still eat. Because breakfast was light and dinner was, um, interrupted. Though, we won’t have that problem tonight.”

Loki nodded and put the list between them. He swallowed back a bite and began to speak.

“Knowing that I shall give you all the details later, I am here to reestablish diplomatic ties between our two realms, aide Earth in any way that would be meaningful, advise the powerful and defend Earth if necessary. I intend to accomplish these goals, primarily by getting into the good graces of a certain secret organization that bases its operations in this country. They are watching Jane’s research and I knew that if I helped Jane they would eventually find me, which would be by far the simplest and most innocuous way to gain their attention, as well as their trust. Though I’ve had my eye on Jane Foster for some time. I’ll tell you why later. It’s a bit more complicated.” He paused to eat some more and he had a thoughtful look on his face.

“Your presence in my life is going to bring me untold benefit, and that I trust. The exact details I am content to allow to crop up as they will. Already I hope that you will help me arrange some of the details you have questioned in your list. I hope that you will help to translate your culture more fully to me. I hope that you will tell me when I go too far, or am inappropriate. And I sincerely hope that you will see what I do not, here. I am not a native and you will see the pitfalls before I do. Keep me from falling in them, as much as possible.”

“Vague, but understandably so. I can work with that,” she said, as he ate more of his lunch.

And then Loki continued, “I think it could be within my goals for it to be generally known who I am and that I am here for reasons of peaceful diplomacy, but not quite yet. I want to make contact with that organization I mentioned first, and I believe that they would be capable of making several other items on your list easier to obtain and maintain.

“After that time, I think it might be quite a good idea to open an Embassy. Thank you for mentioning it. I do wonder what is involved in standard embassies on Earth. You will have to educate me.

“I absolutely want to take small amounts of regular time and large amounts of irregular time, and perhaps the occasional odd year or two off just to spend time with you, talk with you, hear your dreams, make you scream, soak in hot springs, have orgies with just the two of us, and feed you grapes.”

“You can’t have an orgy with just two people.”

“Yes, you can. Details later. You may enjoy them.”

Darcy was just confused, but Loki had an intriguing look on his face.

“I absolutely want it known that you’re from Midgard - no ‘u’, by the by, in Asgard nor Midgard. While I came here with no intention of finding a wife, I had quite given up on it, to be honest, I see our marriage as cementing a positive and peaceful relationship between our two realms. The reason I wish to be married so quickly is because I do not wish to come to the notice of said organization before you are my wife in more than just intention. I hope this does not offend you.”

Darcy gave him a look. “No. Gimme a break. You’re a prince. There are political ramifications to everything you do. I’m sure there are downsides to marrying a Human that you haven’t brought up yet, but you’re doing it anyway. I’m really happy to time our wedding so that it’s a useful asset to you in your totally peaceful and full-of-awesome mission of diplomacy. And I… Well, I’m just really glad that you feel the same way about me that I feel about you.”

Loki stopped eating and smiled at her. “I do, you know. As the moments pass, I adore you more. I wasn’t sure, at first. So many married couples I know are not particularly demonstrative. Perhaps it’s the Aesir. Perhaps it’s because they’ve been married for longer than I’ve been alive. But I felt as if I couldn’t do without you. And once I realized that, and realized that you would take me if I accepted you, then I realized that there was really no point in delay. And I do wish to marry you without delay, sweet Darcy. I should like to get on with the process of spending the rest of my life at your side.”

She grinned at him. She felt warm and fuzzy inside, but they were getting sidetracked. “Back to the list,” she gently reminded him.

He took a bite of lunch and contemplated the next question.

“No. It’s not known outside of my family and needs to remain that way. Then again, Thor knows now, so it’s likely no longer a secret on Asgard. But still. I would not like it known in Midgard, though I will not disparage the Jotunn while here. And also, it is spelled jay-you-tee-oh-en-en.”

“Why use a jay if you’re not going to pronounce it.”

“The conundrums of the English language know no bounds. Moving on. I am slightly familiar with the media, but not, I think of the biases and goals. I don’t understand the difference between media and social media. I am somewhat familiar with the advances in your technology, though I have been focusing my attentions more on your energy production and the work of your physicists. There is much more I could know about computers and the Internet. I understand that the later is quite pervasive. I am slightly acquainted with your financial systems, but have not had the history that you mention.

“What I like about Midgard? You Humans are so changeable! So versatile! I love how quickly you can innovate when you are properly motivated to do so.  Your capacity for chaos is stunning and more than slightly delicious. And I will admit to at least a small amount of prideful arrogance in my youth: it was fun to be worshipped as a god, here. But I’m not, you know. I am but a man. Other things I enjoy about Midgard - Iceland, Shakespeare, Hawaii, the Scientific Method, and this desert here. I’ve come here often to meditate and I find it quite peaceful. From a historical perspective, I’m familiar with the Jotunn-Aesir war in 965 CE, that was the year of my birth and it began on Midgard. Yes, I know. More details later. I’ve also familiarized myself with the various wars and skirmishes of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. And in general I’m quite conversant with the present amount of chaos and deceit on Midgard, who, what, where, and generally why, though not always, and there is a small margin of error.”

Darcy just stared at him, letting the last statement sink in. “Are you shitting me.?”

“No.”

“I want so much more information about that, later.”

“And you shall have it, darling.”

There were a few moments of quiet while Loki ate and Darcy thought about him being born in 965, which would have made him a thousand in 1965. Darcy herself was born in 1990. So, Loki was about 1046 years old.

“Are you really okay dating, well, _marrying_ someone who is a thousand years younger than you?”

Loki nodded and finished with his bite. “You’ve reached your majority, which I only did three centuries ago. While I’ve had orders of magnitudes more time to study, have experience, gain wisdom, and allow magic to seep into my bones, developmentally we’re not too far off from each other. And personally, I look forward to being with you while this happens to you.”

“Magic. Huh. More later. Back to the list.”

“As you wish. I am a sorcerer and I can do many things. I am adept at illusions and transformations of all kinds, which includes spells of movement of myself and others. You know I am a shapeshifter, but you may not realize that I can shift the shape of others as well. I am adept at various forms of battle magic. I have some ability with healing magic, but not to the level that dedicated healers may do. As I am a frost giant, I also probably have the ability to manipulate water to a fine degree, but I have not explored it at all. Perhaps I shall. I have also-” Loki hesitated and Darcy looked more closely at him. “I have also studied sex magic, though not with a partner. And thought, perhaps, if you wished-”

“Shit, yeah. Don’t hold back on me, now, Sparkles. Unless there are horrible consequences, or something. I mean, please don’t sell your soul to give me orgasms or anything.”

He smiled. “There are consequences, but nothing so dire. Simply that if we do such a thing we will be more securely bonded together. It is not something to perform lightly with a lover. But I do think you may have a natural aptitude for it.” Loki gave her a knowing grin, and she chalked it up to being an awesome partner in bed. Which was kind of an awesome feeling to have.

“In general, there is a cost to do magic, much like there is a cost to run ten miles. I have ways to mitigate that cost, though they are not widely known and should not be, I shall tell you later. It has to do with the tattoos that you’ve seen. I’ve been studying magic since it first developed in me, though I considered the intensity of my studies finished a century ago. So that’s eight centuries. And I would be pleased to show you whatever you like.

“Chaos. I am the master of it because I can feel it, manipulate it, begin it or end it. It is the same with deceit. There is more, of course, but that is the essence of it. Mischief is somewhat different. I see through people’s lies - not just the ones they tell other people, but also the illusions they labor under. I see through their illusion to the truth and usually the irony of their lives. Mischief seems to naturally follow for me, and as my mother has pointed out more than once, I am the master of Mischief because I’m always the first to get the joke. Sometimes the only, but I hope that cruel pranks were just the folly of my youth.

“What else can I do? I mentioned that I am a warrior. I am not quite as excited about it as many Aesir, but even without battle magic, I am more a more than formidable opponent. I am trained in grappling, something similar to your weaponless martial arts, as well as the long sword, short sword, mace, spear, staff, hammer, battle axe, glaive, throwing axe, throwing knives and battle daggers. My weapons of preference, after magic, are throwing knives and battle daggers. I have not trained yet since I came, as I have been somewhat distracted, but I must do so daily, as well as meditate, or I shall lose some of my abilities and focus, and I would not wish that.”

“Can I watch?”

“Meditation is not that exciting. I had thought to do it while you slept.”

“The training sounds like it could be, though. Perhaps you could do it without your shirt on?”

Loki raised one eyebrow. “If you wish it, yes. Again, I had thought to do it while you slept. A warrior’s work is… boorish, tedious and boring.”

“Yeah, no. Not from the cheap seats. At least, you know, not when you’re not getting hurt, and when I can safely objectify you, and then maybe go have fantastic sweaty sex against a wall, or something. But yeah. Sidetracked. Continue.”

Loki grinned around his food and after a moment finished chewing his latest bite and looked to the list.

“Yes, my physiology is slightly different. No, you should not take me to a doctor or hospital here. What a horrifying thought. If something ever happens to me and I need more healing than I can give myself, you are to take me to a wide open space out of doors and yell at the top of your lungs the name of our gatekeeper, who will then open the bifrost and bring us both to Asgard, where I will visit the healers.”

“And the name of that gatekeeper?” Darcy asked, quite intently.

“Heimdall is his name. I shall write it down for you.”

“No need. Heimdall. I’ve permanently imprinted it on my memory.”

“Do not say his name again without need, for it catches his attention and he may need to be observing other things without distraction. But he can see far, across realms, and so is the perfect guardian of the bifrost.”

Loki paused to take a few bites, and then continued on.

“When I first arrived… Ah. Well, I was quite upset, you see, and I intended to make my home on Midgard until the end of my days. I feel less pain and bitterness with you around, and so wish to repent of such weighty decisions made in anger. And then, to my surprise, my father was convinced by my arguments concerning my brother in that he made my mother regent. I fear though that unless some test or trial is conceived for Thor he will remain thoughtless, selfish and brutish. He does have a good heart underneath it all, but he is too much used to being a spoiled prince, and the strongest on any realm.”

When Loki paused this time, he did not eat, but sat for a moment in sad reflection. When he glanced down at the list, his face lit up and his smile returned.

“Getting married to you changes everything, and I could not be more pleased.”

He grinned at her, and she gestured to his two remaining sandwiches, while she ate her chips. Several bites in, he paused again.

“Ah, money questions. I have a few thousand dollars in petty cash, and my current budget for this trip is in gold. I do not intend to flood your market or devalue your currency, and so this must be done very carefully - I would be happy to follow your advice on any of this, of course - but I believe an ounce of gold is currently worth... slightly over one thousand dollars? In which case I have somewhere between two and three hundred million dollars.”

“Let’s not break the world economy,” Darcy agreed. “But yes, I think we can do this. I’m going to have to make some calls - I’ll be discrete, but I think I need to get some balls rolling. More on this later.”

Loki continued answering the questions on her list. “I would be delighted to take a honeymoon with you, if it is what I think it is. A trip of variable length after a wedding for the couple to celebrate their new state and delight in wedded bliss? Yes? Excellent. I love travelling and I look forward to celebrating our married state. What marvelous idea did you have for our honeymoon?”

“Hm. Details later. Said marvelous idea requires some outlay of cash, as well as a decent credit card, which will both take more than five days to manage, even if I start today. I think. I’ll call my dad. He knows some people. But yeah, I’ll keep things on the down low until the NSA knows what’s what.”

Loki just smiled and continued to eat his lunch for several minutes.

“I keep my clothes, along with everything else I’ve brought in a pocket dimension whose access point travels with my person. I can simply manifest things from there out of thin air and vanish them back there again, but I find that sometimes disconcerts people. Much easier if I pull something out of a pocket, or a satchel. Like this,” he said, reaching inside of his leather jacket to pull out a large book that clearly wasn’t there before, but Darcy could see his point. “My mother was distressed to find that I’d taken my entire library with me, which is how she knew my intention never to return. But here.”

Darcy took the leather bound tome and opened it in the middle. It was full of the most interesting squiggly lines.

As soon as Loki had handed over the book, his hand went to her head, caressing her and staring intently at her. As she watched the page, the squiggles dissolved into English. She gaped. “Cool. I can borrow this?”

“Darcy, what is mine is yours. That includes my books. This one is a brief history of the Nine Realms.” He glanced back over the list and skipped down over a few things he considered answered. “What do I like to do? I like to read, study, travel, perform magic, meet people, make mischief, and zip along quickly in whatever mode of transport I happen to be in. And to this list I recently have added stare into your eyes, speak with you, spend time with you and, and if the fates be merciful, have quite a lot of very frequent sex with you.”

Darcy smiled. “There are six more things on that list. Be quick and we can nip off and have a nooner. You can eat while you work with Jane. Later.”

Loki, seemingly with renewed energy, attacked the list, speaking quite quickly, now.

“My mother is probably going to get you fitted for gowns, talk about me, listen to you, take you to the healers to have any lingering ailment that trouble you healed, and possibly introduce you to people who may or may not actually like me. Saturday is named for me, though not many realize it. The Observatory is the landing point in Asgard of the bifrost. It means that we will travel and immediately upon arrival we will get married, and then come back. We will, in fact, just barely be in Asgard. What to expect in Asgard? Gold. Armor. Weapons. Very large and very loud people. I will enchant you so that you may understand and be understood. Some may look down on you because you are not Aesir. Ignore them. They know not of what they consider and lack the proper insight to find their noses in the dark. It is a beautiful land, and I will show it to you one day. Jane’s fine. Take her. That will further cement her trust and gratitude, and it may help her research. I plan on giving Jane as much help as she needs. That may be intense at first, and may taper off. The work she is doing is long, and it may take much of her life. I am not sure. But I will help her to take much greater strides than she would have been able to take without me. Now, is a nooner what I dearly hope it is? Should I cast an illusion so it seems we are still at the table?”

“Yes it is, and no, I’d rather be honest with Jane. She won’t even notice we’re gone until she actually needs you again. But, um, is there a way for you to do some mojo so we can hear her but she can’t hear us?”

Loki smiled. "I cast such a charm on the bedroom last night. It should last for several years, or until I remove it."

“You are so handy to have around,” she said, leading him back to the bedroom.

He closed the door behind them. “Shall I show you just how useful my hands can be, my young bride?”

“I wish you would. Hey, can you magic these clothes off us? But just, like, on the floor, not a pocket dimension? I’d like to be able to find my bra again, you know?”

“Yes. Come here,” he said, leaning against the door.

She sauntered over. “Do you need to be touching me to make it work?”

He reached out for her and drew her close, one hand threading through her hair and scratching at her scalp in the most delicious way. The other hand was moving down her torso. “Well, I need to be touching you. I think I might always need to be touching you. But that really has nothing to do with magic.”

And then he was kissing her. She inhaled deeply, taking in all the sensations, his touch, his smell and just as she was in the midst of reciprocating, suddenly she was naked and a tiny bit cold. The squeak was involuntary.

Loki chuckled against her lips, but the sound made her think.

“So, wait,” she said, breaking off the kiss and being quite happy about his lips trailing down her neck. “I could scream and she wouldn’t hear me?”

“Mmm hmm,” he confirmed.

“Loki, make me scream.”

And then she was twirled around and pressed against the door. He lifted first one thigh, then another to loop around him and then with seeming ease (because he’s a warrior! she squeaked internally, a really, really strong one!) he lifted her up and gently lowered her back onto his cock. Inch by inch, going ever-so-slowly he raised and lowered her until she finally enveloped him completely. Their eyes met, perfectly on the level with one another as he paused.

She meant her voice to be dark and seductive, but it ended up being kind of breathy and panting. “Are you doing the sex magic thing right now?”

He pulsed inside of her and she gasped.

“No,” he said and his voice and face were all innocence. She could totally see how he could lie to someone and they might actually eat it up and ask for more. “Sex magic,” he said, pulsing in her again, “is all about the slow build, the connection, drawing out ecstasy for hours. It is deep and slow and stunning sex that can barely be called sex anymore because it is really about divine and cosmic union between two people. The goal is no longer simply orgasm, it is sustained orgasmic bliss.”

His voice. Oh, shit. She wiggled and clenched around him, and groaned. It was dark and sweet and sounded so damn British. All aliens needed to sound British. New rule.

“This, on the other hand, is a quick, hard, and delicious fuck. So, shall we?” he asked, but did not wait for her answer before he started pounding her into the door, making her wail.

* * *

Loki lunged into the beautiful woman in his arms, revelling in the noises she made as she received pleasure from his thrusts, the overwhelming feeling of skin against skin, the weight of her in his arms, her legs cinching around his hips, her silken sheath clenching and spasming around the hard length of his cock and he shoved it deeper and deeper, craving the quick and hard release he knew could burst from him if he could just go a bit harder, just get the perfect angle to make her shriek his name, and he was so very, very close now.

“Darcy,” he growled, as he pounded her into the portal. “Darcy, my beautiful, innocent dove. Do you know what I intend to do to you? Do you, my darling child bride? Do you?”

“Loki! _Loki! Oh, God, Loki!_ ”

“I don’t think you do, sweet Darcy. So sweet, and so savory.”

He shifted slightly and found the angle, at last. He panted the words into her ear, even as she screamed his name and clenched around his staff.

“I shall fill your chalice to the brim, to the very brim, Darcy, with the sweet wine of my most base desire for you, and when the bottle is empty I shall throw you to the bed and toss it back again. I shall drink you deeply, and the cup, and all. Just see if I don’t, my darling girl.”

Then he was groaning as he poured himself into her, draft after draft until the bottle was well and truly empty. And then in true Aesir fashion, he dropped it to the floor and called for another.

She was as light as a feather and she bounced on the bed delightfully, spread out like a heaving, writhing banquet before his inflamed senses.

 _“Oh my God, Loki! Oh my God, I’m so close!”_ And then she was screaming again, so quickly was he back between her thighs.

As fast as thinking, he approached the altar of his goddess and knelt down in supplication, his hands folding around her hips. His mouth approached the cup with more reverence than he had yet displayed in his young life. He knew he must please his goddess, for she had been his willing vessel and his heart overflowed with gratitude and adoration, and so he drank deep. He revelled in the complex flavor of honey and wine and grew yet again in anticipation. The God of Chaos drank from his goddess with wonder and awe, consuming their essence and returning her love, increased tenfold for the borrowing of it. And when the wine was gone, returned to the source, he began on the cup itself until it filled again with honey for him to drink.

And so it went until she screamed herself hoarse on his name, always his name, until her pleasure was too long and too hard and too often and she pushed his head away.

And thus he entered her gently, holding the stiff and throbbing length of himself dreadfully still within her quivering, mewling, darling, delightful, delicious quim as she whimpered his name in exhausted affirmation, too stunned to dare ask for more, though he would give her more. Loki would give her so much more.

“I adore you, Darcy,” he said softly to her at the apex of his gentle thrust.

“I adore you, Darcy,” he repeated again with the next thrust, and again with the third.

“I adore you, Darcy.”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

“Take all of my love, my darling bride.” Thrust.

_“Yes.”_

“Take it, and return it to me tenfold.” Thrust.

_“Yes!”_

Hands smoothed over feverish skin and without thought he reached for the tight, cold thing just beneath the surface of his skin with his mind. He reached out and grabbed it and they both groaned as he grew colder, as he lay within her body’s embrace.

Uncontrollable groans as her skin shifted over his clan lines, newly erogenous and overwhelmed by her heat, until he found himself spilling over into her with unexpected speed and vigor. He came into her with growling pants barely formed around the first syllable of her beautiful name, his anchor in the melee, his _Darcy_.

Loki slipped out of her and slid down their tiny bed, but kept his form as he returned with infinite gentleness to her gracious and loving center. He drank of her again, so gently, so softly, so sweetly, until her pleasure was built once more on sighs. Here he stayed with his chilled tongue buried to the hilt in her steaming hot chalice until he coaxed just one more peak of pleasure from her delicious hot spring.

He held her once more, cradled in his arms, her head on his shoulder, his skin again pale and warm. He whispered perfectly true and applicable things to her as his hands smoothed her skin.

“Darcy, I adore you. You are so beautiful, kind, and good. You see how much my body craves the touch of yours. You have me under your spell, but I have weaved no magic around you and I am at the mercy of your awful power over me. Treat me kindly, my sweetest mistress. Demand of me what you will and I will deliver all I am. I will lay all of myself at your feet in offering. I will offer you gifts of all the magic I may wring from this body. We will ride the chaos together, you and I, and unravel the webs of deceit. You, my precious girl, will always understand my mischief and will ever be inside the joke. And I would have it no other way, my darling one. I would have it no other way.”

Only a moment more. A moment more, and he would write the rune for the return of her clothes, fresh and free of wrinkle and stain, even as his own returned to him through the use of his token. A moment more and he would coax her back out into the main room, feed her bites of his unfinished lunch and hold her as she sat on his lap. Only a moment more until she would return to her duties.

But Loki held her, if only for a moment more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A CONTEST FOR YOU! WEEEEE! By the end of, oh, let's say, chapter Ten, there will be a prize to the reviewer who chimes in with the highest number of correct references from both books and mixed media, mentioned in Chapters 1-10. Winner gets to name and give a description of an Asgardian OC, as well as getting kudos for being a profoundly well-rounded individual. All references must include quote from story and at least title or author of book, or name of movie or show, whichever is applicable. Bonus points if you realize that a fictional character is quoting someone else, and you give both references. 
> 
> If a reviewer gets all of the references, that individual might get actual cookies. I'm not sure.
> 
> ...The game's afoot! ;D


	6. Wherein Darcy plots to break the Internet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Lewis gets a mysterious phone call, Darcy plots to break the Internet and is relieved that this is just her life and not a story being told by someone else. Because of tropes.

“Hey, Daddy. Yep, your little girl’s getting married. So, I have some crazy questions and I need your help to set up some stuff. And you’ll get all the details in person. But before that in person thing happens, I need to get some balls rolling you know?”

Her father responded immediately. “Of course, Darcy. What do you need, princess?”

Darcy laughed, nervously. Princess. Heh. Oh, gosh. This is so bizarrely weird. She groaned. “Ugh. I really wish we could have this conversation in person, actually. Then I could just cut to the chase. Because there is no way that I can phrase this on the phone that isn’t going to just sound really bad, or really shady. And it’s not.”

“Princess, do you need me to come out there?” There was that warning tone in her father’s voice. He was ready to come to the rescue, but that might mean that he would take charge when he arrived, and so Darcy had to weigh the pros and cons very carefully. After a moment’s hesitation, she decided to go for it.

“That would actually be really helpful. But not because I’m in trouble or anything. But because there are things I can’t say over the phone. I swear, nothing’s wrong. Everything’s cool. But I totally need the services of a good accountant, hedge fund manager, and yep, my favorite daddy lawyer. I don’t suppose you’d like to fly out to Roswell and Austin could pick you up at the airport? And then we can all talk openly, you can get to know Loki, and we can start some of the stuff I really want to start.”

She could hear him, slightly muffled, calling to his secretary and telling her to get him a ticket to Roswell, for the next flight out, and to clear his schedule until Tuesday morning. When that was finished, she continued.

“Oh, and Dad? Just as food for thought, to help, you know, mentally prepare you for our conversation, it might help if you remember what my internship is.”

“Sweetheart, I have no idea what your internship is, except that it’s got nothing to do with political science.” He had that tired note in his voice that he sometimes got when Darcy was getting on his nerves.

“Well, Dad, that’s what I thought, too. But you know, it turns out that I was wrong, wrong, wrong in a very Jean-Luc Picard kind of way. So, go and meditate on the fact that Dr. Jane Foster is an astrophysicist studying possible wormhole phenomenon, and when I introduce you to your new son-in-law, please take every word I utter very seriously, okay Daddy?”

There was silence over the phone line.

“Darcy… who, exactly, are you marrying?”

“So not telling you over the phone, Daddy.”

There was a beat and she knew her father was thinking about earlier parts of their conversation.

“He hasn’t started devaluing gold, has he?”

“Nope. But you see why I need you. And don’t worry, you won’t have to keep this on the downlow forever. Just for now.”

“I have a strong feeling that there is absolutely no jurisprudence in matters like these.”

“I know you like a challenge, Daddy. You and your firm are really, really, _really_ going to love your new client. Like, really.”

“Oh Darcy! Oh Darcy, I have no idea how you find yourself in situations like these. You are a magnet for chaos.”

“You’re not wrong. I’ll see you tonight.”

“I love you, princess. Try not to get into any trouble before dinner time, okay?”

“I make no promises. Love you, too. Bye.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

* * *

Darcy was taking pictures. Darcy was going to be taking a lot of pictures. If Darcy was going to be living to be five thousand years old, on another planet, with a personal library the size of all the L-space in the Universe, when all the people she currently loved were going to die before the next century was out, then Darcy was totally going to be taking pictures and creating albums on archival paper with non-acidic tissue paper between the pages, and she wasn’t going to feel even slightly bad if there were thousands and thousands of pictures. Fuck it. She was totally doing it. Or, at least, she was going to take the pictures and outsource the rest.

Darcy looked up from her latest list - things to get for Loki, and things to do - and took a few candid photos of Loki and Jane with their heads together, looking at something on Jane’s monitor as she was avidly explaining something to him. He had a little crease in his forehead and he seemed to be thinking intently.

Darcy wasn’t sure what exactly they were doing, but Jane seemed to still be bringing Loki up to speed on how she thought the bifrost worked, and how she measured her observations. What Darcy was absolutely clear about was that they kept getting sidetracked, but it was an occupational hazard, she was realizing, when you talked with Loki. He was just so _interesting_ and he knew so damn much about _everything_.

Not for the first time, Darcy worried about why such an old, wise, and experienced person would choose _her_.

* * *

**Things To Get For Loki & Stuff To Do & Stuff To Figure Out How To Do & Stuff To Think About Doing**

**as compiled by Darcy Lewis, future princess.**

 

**Technology**

\- smart phone, definitely

\- laptop? Yes. Apple? Probably. Wait, does this mean he needs an iPhone? or should Mr. Chaos and Mischief be an Android kind of guy? Apple or Android, Apple or Android? Huh. When it gets out, he’ll probably be a huge trendsetter. So which do I want to get a stock bump? More thought on this later.

\- tablet, of course, eventually. Same apple or android question.

-car for road trip honeymoon. Convertible, definitely. Aston-Martin? Loki would dig that, I think. Can he drive a stick? Austin has a stick, we could both learn. Or Loki could, and then teach me. Shit. Driver’s licence. ID in general may be something better left for Shadow Government Agency to arrange for. Just because he’s an alien doesn’t mean he couldn’t pass a driver’s test. Hmm, diplomatic immunity. That will be so handy.

**Finance**

-accountant: handle money-gold transfers, organize finances, pay bills, do taxes apply? seriously need to consider what is involved with setting up an Embassy, because I think I’m about to not be a US citizen. OOO! Diplomatic immunity! Score.

\---in the meantime, set up accounts in my name,

\---a black amex would be nice

\---omg, I’m totally going to need to get a big girl wardrobe, with like, power suits and Jimmy Choos. And dresses. For, like, state dinners. OMG I’M PROBABLY GOING TO GO TO THE WHITEHOUSE FOR A STATE DINNER HELD IN OUR HONOR, OMG I’M TOTALLY GOING TO MEET THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! I’M GOING TO BE LIKE KATE MIDDLETON, BUT FROM ARIZONA! OMFG I’M GOING TO MEET KATE MIDDLETON! omg, my hair...

-hedgefund manager: let’s take the smallest amount of gold that is reasonable and grow it in this economy. That makes the most sense.

-lawyer: this may be helpful in the face of secret quasi-maybe-probably-sort-of-government organizations. And in the legal go-between of setting up an Embassy. Also, dad is awesome.

-other methods of increasing income to support embassy and diplomacy efforts that do not involve breaking the world economy under the weight of a ton of Asgardian gold.

\---casino poker?

\---licensing alien technology to manufacturers?

\---a book deal, after a certain amount of publicity and breakage of the Internets?

\---google has a lot of money. what do we have that google wants? OOO! GoogleEarth, meet GoogleAsgard! Everyone can see Asgard. Through Google. Look, instant moneys, no breaky-breaky of the world economy!

\---select billionaires get a weekend in Asgard with the Crown Prince, for a fee? Does this mean that I get to meet Tony Stark? And Oprah? $25 million per person, per weekend? With parties of up to eight? Guaranteed audience with the reigning monarch, a meet and greet with the gatekeeper, luxury suite in the royal palace with a stunning panoramic view of of the surrounding countryside, a warrior’s demonstration, a ride through the countryside, a picnic in the Queen’s private garden, and feasting with mead in the evenings? One night, an intimate dinner with the royal family. One night a full on feast with the court. A spa afternoon with the healers of Asgard, for what ails you? A personal demonstration of magic from the Crown Prince? Coffee and dirt with the Princess? Selfies with stone-faced guards? Souvenirs! Set of evening wear in the height of Asgardian fashion. A personal thank you note from the Crown Prince for aiding the building of a new Embassy, and supporting the peaceful diplomatic mission of Asgard. A specially minted gold coin celebrating the marriage of HRH Loki and HRH Darcy. A framed group photograph with Loki and Darcy. The right to be followed on Twitter by the couple, and friends on Facebook.

\---copyright and trademark Loki’s name, along with Thor, Odin and Frigga. Then license a video game and action figures based on stories of bravery and adventure from book. Movie deal? Maybe. Comic books could work, but who could compete with the DC universe? A dark horse, indeed.

\---other things I have not yet come up with, but obviously will, because I am Awesome Incarnate. Ooo, could I become the master of awesome? That would be… awesome. Discuss with Loki later.

\---dude, we are totally not going to need to touch Loki’s money, after the first year of income generation, whenever it is we can do that. In fact, we could go ahead and buy up all that gold back out of the economy, and boost the price again. Whoh. Starter capital. It seriously makes a difference. You really do need money to make money. Between Google, which is an awesome idea, and the individual billionaires, I think we could probably raise, seriously now, like a billion dollars. Wisely invested back into the world economy, all but, say, three hundred million, because real estate in Manhattan isn’t cheap, and neither are private jets for global goodwill tours. And there’s staff. And wardrobe. And other stuff.

\---Should do billionaires before GoogleAsgard is released. The exclusivity of it will still be awesome sauce and then even the poorest of the poor will be able to see it, if not travel there.

* * *

“Jane, I need to interrupt you to ask you serious questions. No, you totally need to focus on me and mah face.” Only when Jane’s annoyed gaze settled on her did Darcy placidly continue. “Question number one: Will you please accompany me to Asgard early on Saturday and spend the entire day inspecting futuristic, otherwordly technology, while occasionally holding my hand in the midst of getting to know my mother-in-law, who is the reigning monarch of an entire planet?”

Jane’s expression changed. “Yes!” she said, immediately.

“Awesome sauce. Next: will you give me time off for good behavior in a week or two so I can have a honeymoon with Loki? We’ll be available for emergencies, of course. But if it’s not an emergency, I’m totally putting you on speakerphone while we have sex.”

“Fine! Totally fine!”

“Third, my dad and my brother are showing up, in like, an hour to discuss finance, law, politics, diplomacy and setting up an embassy. And possibly grilling Loki on his worthiness to be my husband, but whatevs. I’m going to go get some dinner stuff. I’m thinking steak on the grill. And green things. You in? Because I know it’s not, like, science-science-science, but it is totally the necessary diplomatic outcome of your successful science-science-science, and I thought you might like to be in on it. Or at least have a great steak dinner. Lobster too, if I can find it. I mean, we’re not that far from the Gulf.”

“Yeah,” Jane said, as if it were the only obvious conclusion. Honestly, Darcy gave her a solid twenty minutes after she finished eating before she got bored and went back to being science girl.

“Finally, I want the other bedroom. It has a bigger bed. The twin is a bit of a squeeze, and Loki is a big guy. It will become an issue when we finally sleep.”

“Oh, TMI, but it’s yours. And let’s never discuss your sex life again, okay?”

“No promises. It’s a pretty great sex life, so far. Okay, I’m off the the store. Have fun with the science, kids.”

Loki walked her to the door, pulling her aside for a moment before she actually left. “Darling, thank you for all of your efforts to create a good dinner and a comfortable room. I feel… strangely nervous about you leaving my side. You slipped out to get our lunch before I realized, earlier, but I... I feel quite stupid for not preparing for this moment, and will do so later this evening, when you sleep. In the meantime, if something happens and you need me, use my name and I believe I will hear you. When I do, I shall get to you as quickly as I can.”

She smiled at him. “You are really sweet. And I love you. And I will be careful and call you if I need you. And you know, this is a sleepy little town where nothing happens. And I’m just going for groceries. Really, it’s going to be fine. So kiss me and expect me back in thirty minutes. And if it takes me forty, please don’t freak out.”

Darcy knocked on wood on the way out, because that was just the sort of speech the heroine makes just before she dies. She thanked her lucky stars that this was only her life and not a story. Who would believe it anyway? Fact totally was stranger than fiction. And if this were a story, this would probably be the moment that some horrible and previously unmentioned arch enemy of Asgard swooped down and kidnapped her right in the middle of the seafood section of the corner mart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo, a cliffhanger. And it won't be resolved until at least Sunday night, but possibly later, because of work. Well, sometimes these things happen. If you're feeling desperate and would like to read something else I've written, may I suggest my collection of short stories, 'Guild Dues' (by Sare Liz Gordy), available on Amazon?


	7. Wherein Loki and Darcy separately realize the wisdom of planning ahead, which Phil already knew.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Expected and unexpected visitors arrive at Mos Eisley. Not everyone is there for the steak and lobster though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My husband is awesomesauce. And I'm not just saying that because he's writing what I dictate. He's also awesome because he is posting this chapter for you, while I have a migraine. Please feel free to shower him with friend-zone-appropriate love and gratitude.

Coulson looked up as Agent Grey approached him with a file folder in hand.

“Sir, could I have a moment? We have a possible 0-8-4.”

He nodded at the agent and indicated a chair. The file folder was pushed across his desk. He started reading the dossier even as he motioned to the agent to begin her summary.

“Puente Antiguo, New Mexico. A researcher staring at the sky and hoping it’s wormholes she sees. Not well respected among her peers. She suddenly sends out an email to a colleague, begging him to come visit her because interesting things are happening, and the next day her intern is warning her parents she’s eloping with some new guy in her life whom she refuses to discuss over the phone. The transcripts of the calls to her parents are in there. The conversation with her mother may be fiction, but the one with her father is interesting. The guy in the picture is her fiance. He’s the possible 0-8-4.”

“Huh,” Coulson said, as he continued to speed read his way through the file. Objects, or in this case, individuals, of unknown origin were some of his favorite things. Come to think of it, some 0-8-4s had also been his least favorite things. Sometimes the job was like that.

“It’s probably nothing,” Agent Grey said, backtracking. The agent said no more when he held up a single hand. He hadn’t finished reading the file. But he did finish before he began speaking.

“I want eyes and ears on them before dinner begins. Send me everything you have on Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis and our 0-8-4.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Have you been to New Mexico yet, Agent Grey?”

“No, sir.”

Getting to enjoy the desert while simultaneously avoiding the cafeteria at SHIELD’s New Mexico facility might be the best part of this particular trip. “You’ll love it. Have your team ready to depart in an hour.”

“Yes, sir!”

***

The lobster tails looked pretty good. The salad fixings, asparagus, and bread were in her basket. She’d already selected two flank steaks - one for everyone else to share, one for Loki, because she was all about steak, but not about breaking her still meager bank account - and now she was ordering some lobster tails. But Darcy wasn’t really thinking of lobster tails. She was thinking of what an idiot she was. Not, like, a total idiot, because geez, things had been changing quickly enough that it was a little hard to keep up, even in her own head, but she had just become that idiot woman she always laughed at when Jezebel mocked her online.

You know the one - the woman ignores blatant signs of danger, believes she is somehow indestructible just because she hangs with the tough crowd, and then falls in the pothole of her own pride. That’s the sort of woman who becomes a really grade A target for nutjobs once they go public. Not only did Darcy not want that to happen, it wasn’t even the worst case scenario. Being harrassed by bad guys was a walk in the park compared to being kidnapped and brutalized by them. And then having the video sent to your loved ones for ransom.

Darcy was about to be married to the Crown Prince of Asgard.

Yes, it was still on the downlow at the present, but it wasn’t going to always be.

Darcy had been so very excited to enter into a larger diplomatic sphere, with all that it entailed, to say nothing of being excited to simply be with the most interesting, amazing and beautiful man she’d ever met, that she’d sort of forgotten one of the honest and realistic dangers of being this high up in the echelons of politics.

Assassinations.

If she made it home in one piece, if nothing happened between lobster and Loki, she was totally going to change her attitude towards guards and companions and whatever magic Loki would like to do, because just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you.

It made sense, Darcy concluded, asking for eight lobster tails at the counter, why Loki didn’t feel he needed an armed escort. Man was one thousand forty-sixf years old. He was a highly trained sorcerer and warrior. He could smell lies and apparently he got a little giddy when chaotic people were close - but he could also control their chaos. Dude was probably better to have around, in terms of her own personal safety, than a team of Navy SEALS.

Yep. If she survived this grocery run, she thought as she went to the register, if she could just make it the five minute walk back to the converted gas station in this tiny, sleepy town on the edge of the big, strange desert that was Earth’s version of Mos Eisley, if she could just get back to Loki without getting her arm cut off then Darcy’s Personal Safety was definitely going on some list somewhere.

She paid for her purchases and grabbed her single, paper bag of groceries, idly noting that it was the perfect and stereotypical bag of groceries. Heavy things at the bottom, in this case steak and lobster, and leafy green things just slightly visible from the top, with a long baguette like a stir stick off to one side.

Just the sort of bag of groceries you’d see spilled on the ground after a tragic incident, a dark and not entirely helpful part of her mind pointed out.

No. No. No. She was not going to call for Loki just because she was scared. Not when nothing had actually happened. Not simply because she realized that she hadn’t considered prudent levels of caution before she stepped out for groceries. She was not going to call for Loki just because she’d realized that being stupid and taking unnecessary risks meant _not actually getting to live with him and love on him for the next four or five thousand years._

Darcy didn’t really want to be content with just one amazing night (and a nooner) with the man she’d just fallen in love with, when she could have the next aeon.

She walked quickly down Main, her eyes darting to each side in what she hoped was a very casual glance. She made it back in record time.

“That was quick,” Jane commented as Darcy entered through a door held by Loki.

He leaned down to kiss her cheek in greeting, but gave her an odd look.

“Yeah, well. I realized halfway there that I was the newest entry on the Intergalactic Planetary Possible Assassination Listing, and me without my honor guard, you know?”

Darcy put the bag on the floor and looked up at Loki. When she had no heels on, he really was much taller than she was. “Um, nothing actually happened. I mean, it was all in my head. But, um, can I have a hug?”

She was hauled into a tight embrace and Loki whispered soft and kind things into her hair, which, interestingly enough, included plots of dire revenge, should anyone ever intend her harm. He really was the best fiance in the whole world.

“Oh Darcy,” Jane said, and she could hear the eye roll from across the room with a magic space prince in the way. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

Loki shifted so that he could look at her, but Darcy remained tucked and snuggled in his embrace. He smelled nice. That was the only reason. It wasn’t because she was still a little terrified.

“Jane Foster, I respect your intellect and your instinct, but in this instance you could not be more wrong. Darcy’s instincts were exactly right. It is true that your first encounter with otherworldly individuals has been positive, peaceful and useful to you. But do not think that simply because I come from the Realm Eternal which has always been kindly disposed toward your realm, that everyone else is as well. My father lost many good soldiers who might have gone on to live lives thousands of years hence _defending your realm from invaders wishing you harm_. And that was _just_ the Jotunn, who-”

Darcy interrupted. She loved her own personal Jotunn, and she’d been reading a little bit of the book he’d given her at lunch. “-Who on the cosmic scale of evil bad guys are really just misunderstood.” She rubbed Loki’s chest. “It gets way worse. Like _way_ worse. Like truly, no shared human values, monstrous worse.”

“Darcy is the light in my world. But she will remain the most vulnerable part of it for several more centuries. It would break me, should her end come prematurely due to my own negligence. Please, do not mock the moment when she has just come to understand an uncomfortable reality of her new life.”

Darcy looked at Jane, who now looked like she might be close to tears. She extracted herself from Handsome and went over to Boss Lady and gave her a hug.

“I’m sorry, Darcy. I didn’t, I didn’t mean to be flip.”

“It’s cool. Don’t worry. But you’re the one doing the wormhole research. And I know you watch Star Trek. There’s a lot of weird shit out there, Boss Lady, and you’re building a bridge to it. In the name of science. Which is awesome. But let’s not build a bridge to the primitive culture that wants to eat us for dinner, okay? Prime Directive, and all that jazz.

“Speaking of infinite diversity in infinite combinations, Loki, my very favorite crown prince of a planet far, far away, would you like to help me make dinner?”

***

Loki was quiet as he went about the simple tasks that his beloved had set for him, involving charred wood, a tripod kettle, several grates, and fire. His mind was elsewhere.

It had been at least a century since he had done any sizable magic which left him drained for days, but he was considering it now. Any of the really large works usually ended in the production of a token which was permanently imbued with his magic, which would function independently of him until the end of the age. He had quite a number on his person to help him do the most basic magics he relied on day by day, so that his energy would not be depleted - particularly handy in battle, when he always needed the full force of his abilities. And of course, there was the earliest token he’d ever had - his mother’s locating spell, which he wore on the inside of his left wrist.

After some thought, he decided on two separate tokens, to begin with. One, a basic locating spell so that he would be able to find her, no matter where on Yggdrasil she was. That would not take too much of his energy, and he would be recovered in a day of moderate rest. The second, a much more complex spell which, once wrought, would allow her to transport herself to him, provided they were on the same realm. Loki reasoned that whatever potentially dangerous situation in which she might find herself, the situation would necessarily be improved by her no longer being in it, but rather, being with him. It was not perfect, and did not cover every possibility, but it was perfectly non-violent. Anything more would require significant discussion, first.

The second spell would be days in the making, as he would need to rest between the two halves. Loki estimated that it would be six days from start to finish, in which he would do little but magecraft, sleeping, and some eating. After the wedding, then, though not too much after.

And there were other spells to craft. It took him almost no energy now to travel with ease - to imagine himself a place he had been once before, and then find himself in that place - but that was so because four centuries ago he had made an incredibly powerful token that had laid him low for a fortnight. Travelling with Darcy last night reminded him that having another with him did require a bit of energy outlay from his person.

It seemed that it was finally time to update his travelling token. In his current energetic currency, a fortnight’s worth of energy into such a spell would allow him to bring along five other people when he travelled with ease. Given that he was about to marry, and that Darcy was prepared to bear him children, now seemed like a good time to think expansively about travelling with others.

But a fortnight! SHIELD could descend on them at any time, and Loki was loathe to be at a disadvantage when that happened. And until he had Jane Foster’s absolute confidence and loyalty, he needed to earn his keep. And of course, there was Darcy. He did not actually wish to sleep through the first month of marriage with her - leaving her, among other things, defenseless.

Loki sighed, idly checking on the burning wood to see if it had a crust of white, as Darcy had indicated. When he had had all the time in the world to exhaust himself and no pressing need to be conscious and ready, he had seen no need to do such large works. Even the preparation of spells ahead for battle was always so quick and easy, compared to what he now considered. Odin’s call for constant vigilance, even when not at war, was brought back to his mind with another sigh. Of course the All-Father was right. He was usually right.

What was the point of being the third most powerful sorcerer in the Nine Realms if he didn’t think ahead?

And the flood of useful and potential tokens he _could_ have made in advance began. So many of them he had some minor version upon his person, just for use on his own self. Well, he hadn’t thought them minor at the time, but they seemed so now. Invisibility. Healing. Travelling. Locating. Cleaning. Repairing. Sensory Improvement. All of his magical weapons. A boost to his fire abilities - and now perhaps he knew why fire had always been more difficult for him to control...

And he thought of the frailty of the Human body. With proper research and careful spellcasting, he could make her body stronger, more resilient, he could improve her reflexes, her natural healing ability. Possibly also her cognitive functioning, but Loki decided against it in the next instant. Better not to make any mistakes a healer might not be able to mend.

Loki considered the full grouping of spell tokens he wished to create on behalf of the safety, wellbeing and peace of mind of his beloved Darcy and started to break them down into manageable portions. Could he make all of them without his energy becoming depleted dangerously and requiring unconsciousness as a necessary part of healing? No. But some of them he could. And there were minor parts of others that could be done within his current margins of safety. And for the rest - they would either need to temporarily return to Asgard, where he knew she would be utterly safe, or he would need someone from Asgard to be with her as guardian. His return to Asgard could be difficult for Frigga and her aims with the council, so it would need to be someone coming here.

Loki’s instant thought was of his brother, but then he dismissed it just as quickly. If Thor had the maturity for the assignment, and he certainly did not, he would be mature enough to be ruling Asgard as Regent instead of Frigga - in which case Loki would ask Frigga to come. She was a formidable shield matron and a powerful sorceress - but she was also presently quite busy. No, no, neither one were appropriate for consideration. If only things were different… but they weren’t. He sighed, again.

Loki had his work cut out for him. He would begin this evening, and discuss Darcy’s safety with his mother at the next convenient conference.

***

Loki was inside, sitting at the dining table and carefully weaving a four-way braided knot with eight strands of Darcy’s hair and four of his own. Darcy sat across from him so she could see the door, but she was engrossed in her book of history. He was halfway through the complicated knot, muttering incantations at every crossing so the form would hold only the shape he gave and only the magic he imparted. He started the work because it could be interrupted after any crossing and so was excellent handiwork for small intervals. Indeed, it seemed his in-laws had just arrived, given the look on Darcy’s face.

She jumped up with a happy squeal, and he thought perhaps the word ‘Daddy’, but Loki lingered a moment longer at the table with his back to the door. He quickly encased his handiwork in a stasis shell that formed as his hands circled around the piece. He collapsed his hands together and popped it directly back into his store. Loki waited until the visible green shards of his magic dissipated before rising from his chair and going to greet his new family.

Darcy was still hugging her father when he rose, but by the time he and Jane had moved to the door to greet the guests, she had shifted and was embracing the younger man, her brother.

“You guys are awesome to drop everything and come out, even if Mom did really send you, Austin. Whatever. Anyway, thank you for coming. And now, some introductions.” He watched Darcy take a step away from her family to stand near him. He could hear her take a deep breath.

“Loki, Jane, I present to you my father, Mr. John Lewis, Esquire. He is a senior partner in the law firm Lewis, Lewis & James, in Tucson, Arizona. I also present to you my brother, Mr. Austin Lewis. He works for a construction firm, building houses, and is also a volunteer firefighter and EMT, which means that he saves people’s lives when they are in emergency situations. He is also a resident of Tucson, Arizona.”

Loki watched John Lewis gaze back and forth between him and Darcy, inscrutably. Neither Lewis men were in his senses. Neither one lied enough and neither were particularly chaotic. Ordinarily, Loki wouldn’t have given them a second glance, though his standards were changing.

“Dad, Austin,” Darcy continued, heedless of Loki’s musings, “it is my honor to introduce you to my fiance, His Royal Highness, Crown Prince Loki of Asgard. He is a Master Sorcerer, and the Master of Chaos. Prince Loki is here on an official diplomatic mission to foster peace between our two worlds. I would also like to present to you my boss, Dr. Jane Foster, astrophysicist. She is researching faster-than-light interplanetary travel.”

Loki extended his hand as he looked his father-in-law in the eye. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lewis.”

“The pleasure is mine, Your Royal Highness,” he said. He wasn’t lying. But that was all to which Loki could truly attest.

“Please, call me Loki. Both of you.” He looked over to his brother by marriage and could see the analytical gleam in his eye. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Austin Lewis. Your sister speaks well of you, and yours is a noble profession. I look forward to your brief stay in New Mexico, and hope that we may speak often.”

It was only the slightest of lies - he would rather work his magic and make love to Darcy, should she permit it, but barring that, he did want to know his new family.

Ruffled feathers now smoothed over, Jane shook hands, everyone else offered permission to use given names, and the party shifted toward the kitchen. Austin was handed the raw meat on various large plates and sent out to the tripod kettle with the burning wood chips. Loki helped him out the door and stood nearby as his new brother examined the fire and began meticulously placing the raw meat on the top grate. He bade Loki wait just a moment as he took the empty plates back, presumably to be cleansed, before returning with them once more.

“Is Darcy expecting more people? This is a huge amount of food, even by my standards.”

“I have a comparatively large appetite. She was only being considerate.”

There was a moment of quiet.

“Yeah, Dad told me what to expect in the car. No offence, but it’s pretty hard to believe.”

“I cannot imagine what you must be going through. I was raised with an awareness of sentient life in a variety of forms, and in a variety of realms. Never had I considered that I and my race were the only ones in the Universe. But please do feel free to ask me what questions you have, and I will answer to the best of my ability.”

Austin Lewis was quiet for several minutes, after initially nodding his head in agreement. Finally he broke the silence with a quiet snort of ironic laughter.

“You know, I don’t even care about all that. I just want to know what gives you the right to marry my sister so quickly.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Because she said yes. As she is in her majority, her consent is all I need to have such a right. But this you already know. What is the question you truly seek to have answered?”

Austin sighed and thought a moment more. “Look, I know I’m not the brightest crayon in the Lewis box, and I’m not trying to be a caveman about this. I just want some assurances that you two will be good for each other in the long term, and this isn’t just some whirlwind thing that is going to break my sister’s heart.”

Loki smiled gently. “I have certain abilities that I have honed quite well that allow me to be an excellent judge of character. I am perfectly confident that Darcy and I will continue to suit one another throughout our lives. I am quite hopeful at her interest and intuitive grasp of political situations, which will be her future reality. And in addition to these more practical reasons, I adore your sister. I find her endlessly engaging and witty, and she has indicated that she finds me no less pleasant. And I am inclined to believe her when she says that she loves me. I trust my own instincts, implicitly. And I trust your sister’s, as well.”

Austin nodded and was quiet for another long while.

“Well, then,” he said at last. “I look forward to… seeing that you’re both right about each other. Welcome to the family, Loki,” he said, and offered his hand again. He obviously had reservations, but that was to be expected.

“So. Sorcerer, huh? What kind of magic can you do?”

Fifteen minutes and two stories later, Austin held the back door open and Loki with three corporeal copies, each with a plate of meat in his left hand, marched into the kitchen. Austin was laughing and each Loki was smirking in a slightly different manner.

“Elves? Really?”

“Yes,” chorused back all four Lokis, innocently.

Darcy’s head snapped around and all of him smirked wider at her gape-mouthed gaze.

“Dude, you are a rockstar, and my new hero,” Austin said, still grinning widely, and closing the door behind the last Loki, which happened to be the original one.

All in a line, he walked up to Darcy, deposited a plate on the counter, kissed Darcy on the cheek and said,

“Here you are, Darling.” And that copy disappeared, only to have another replace it, saying,

“How’s dinner coming along, Darling?” And that copy disappeared, only to have another take a step forward, saying,

“It was lovely getting to know your brother a bit, Darling.” And that copy disappeared, and Loki himself stepped forward, depositing his plate and saying,

“You have the strangest look on your face, Darling. Have I done something wrong?” All innocence, Loki looked deep into her eyes and smiled his small, beguiling smile, which in retrospect was the absolute wrong thing to do, because quite suddenly Darcy went from shock to lust, and Loki could see that she had just figured out how to have an orgy with only two people. And she’d like to try it. Right now. And apparently, one of the three versions of him would be need to be blue.

Loki took a deep breath and a firm grip on his self-discipline. Eight hundred years of mind training would not be wasted in the face of one beautiful, entrancing, enticing, alluring…

No, focus. He closed his eyes for a moment and mentally blocked her unintentional seduction of him. His sense of it was dulled, at least for the moment, and potentially as long as he failed to meet her eye. Or touch her skin. Which would make the evening interesting indeed, but perhaps given enough time she would no longer be broadcasting her desire to be taken by him three-at-a-time.

To which he had no objections, save the presence of an audience.

Only a moment had passed, but he removed himself from her immediate presence and went to stand with her father, even as he overheard Darcy try to find out what Austin found so amusing.

“It seems that both of my younger children are quite taken with you, Loki, in their own ways.”

“Yes. It was quite unintentional with the youngest. I admit I had to work a bit on your middle child, but he seems to hold me in some esteem, now.”

“Twenty minutes, Loki. It took you twenty minutes to win over my recalcitrant son who still isn’t sure about his older sister.”

“Actually, I might have had him by the first fifteen, if you’re counting,” he said with quite a wide grin.

Jack Lewis eyed him for a moment before closing his eyes and giving a small huff of laughter. He shook his head. “So, Darcy tells me that you’ll be wanting to open an embassy, and going public, but not until after you make contact with at least one covert government organization. Do you have any sense that it could happen within the next six months? Because that could make everything else much easier, if so.”

“I cannot say for certain,” Loki replied. “It is more than possible. Every part of my life seems to be occurring at an accelerated pace, here. I do not know how you Humans can bear to sleep - life sweeps past like a strong current.”

Loki watched as Jack’s gaze rested on his daughter and son. “Some things do sweep past more quickly than we realize. We sleep anyway, and wake confused.” The quiet between the two men was punctuated by the lighthearted bickering between the siblings. “Do you have children already, Loki?”

“No,” he said quietly. “But Darcy and I both look forward to raising several.”

“Cherish them. Every moment. Even if they’re different from what you expect. Even if they make you tear your hair out in frustration. Cherish them. Never lie to them. Lavish them with attention and love. And when it’s time to let go, do it with as much grace as you can manage.”

“You are a good man, Jack,” Loki said, blinking away tears for reasons he’d prefer not to examine exactly at this moment in the kitchen. “You have been a good father, and that is clear to me already. You have raised Darcy well, and I shall take your advice. I thank you.”

They were called to the table by Jane, set for five, and his place was quite evident, as his portion was exactly four times the size of everyone else’s. Darcy came up to him and smiled tentatively.

“I hope it’s the right portion size for you,” she said quietly.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “It is perfect, and I’m grateful that you’ve gone to such lengths for me. Thank you.”

He held out the chair for her and was mildly surprised that Jack did not do the same for Jane. Perhaps he needed to discuss modern etiquette with Darcy, as he did not wish to unduly stand out.

As their meal began, Austin asked Loki, “So what’s life like on Asgard?”

“Tedious.” Loki thought of living in his brother’s shadow. He knew he would have to say something more than that, though. How much to say, was the problem. And if he began, could he keep the bitterness at bay? “The Realm Eternal is beautiful, of course, and full of many wonders. But life at court as the second son is an experience I would not wish on an enemy. My elder brother has ever better fit the expectations of our race, the Aesir, in nearly every respect.”

“What are the expectations of the - Aesir, did you say?” Jack asked, helping himself to some asparagus from the center of the round table.

Loki took some of lobster and dipped it in the butter as he watched Darcy do. It was a fine taste, indeed. There was something similar to it at home, but not exactly the same.

“Well, physically I do not meet the measure. My hair is too dark, my skin too pale, my form too weak-”

Darcy choked on her dinner, and was unceremoniously thumped on the back by her brother. Loki watched in concern as she smacked his arm away and took some water.

“I’m fine,” she croaked. “Go on.”

“But more significantly, I take no great pleasure in battle. I am a trained warrior because I must be, not because I relish the surge in my blood. I am a sorcerer, which calls into question my manhood, as most practitioners of magic are women. And finally, I have a strongly honed innate sense that alerts me when people are practicing deceit - and I can influence their thoughts about whether or not they wish to continue to do so. This makes me unpopular at most gatherings.” The table was quiet as Loki took a bite, and no one spoke, so once he was able, he continued. “Into this introduce my brother, the golden child. Large, loud, affable and generous to his friends, he loves the blood frenzy, avoids practicing the magic he could, and wouldn’t be able to tell if a child was lying to him, among other things.”

“So, why are you the crown prince, then?” asked Jane.

“My brother is also an impulsive, selfish, boorish, idiot who would not know wisdom if it were the hammer in his hand. I couldn’t bear to see him reign as Regent while my father slept, so I left for Earth. I am told that my father took my advice in my absence, as our mother is now Regent. I know not what they plan for my brother, save that it must be something quite drastic, and knowing that I am crown prince instead of he is undoubtedly part of that plan. They do not truly intend me to be king, they never have. Something will occur, and Thor will be reinstated.”

“Thor? Your older brother is Thor?” Austin asked, his face full of interest.

Loki sighed. “Yes. Thor. The Master of Thunder and Incredibly Thoughtless Plans. That is he.”

Loki felt Darcy’s hand touch his thigh, ever so lightly, ever so quickly. But he also felt something else. Someone was using his name, someone chaotic, someone close.

_‘Thor, the Master of Thunder? So, wait, this guy really is Loki, God of Mischief, Lies and Chaos? Are we sure this is a good thing?’_

_‘What did I tell you about commenting? And don’t use his name. For now, he is the 0-8-4.’_

Loki decided to continue to track the new conversation with one part of his mind. Apparently SHIELD had found him much sooner than he expected. Meanwhile, Darcy looked like she was about to say something quite interesting, so he attended to her with yet another part of his mind.

“‘I think you’re wonderful. Thor sounds like a douche.” She looked so delightfully indignant. And on his behalf, too. “I think you’re beautiful and strong and powerful and amazing, and I think you being a sorcerer is totally awesome and manly, and I think anyone who actually wants to shed blood probably has psychological issues that need to be dealt with sooner rather than later. And I love that liars fear you. I love it. They should. Because you’re a rockstar, Loki.” But she continued in her head, still staring at him,   _‘And it sounds like you left a lot unsaid about Thor. And if you want to tell me sometime, and maybe rage against the machine a little, you can do that. I’m totally in your corner, Rockstar.’_

Loki could not help but stare at Darcy as she began mending tears in his broken heart, stitch by stitch. How in the Nine Realms had he been so fortunate as to find such a woman?

“Loki, have you seen Darcy’s list?” Jack said, changing the subject. Loki was just about to answer when Darcy responded in his mind.

_‘Second list. Even more awesome than the first, and totally different.’_

“No, not yet,” he replied pleasantly to his father-in-law, as they began to discuss the various points of merit, possible timelines, and whether or not Oprah would invite cancer patients to Asgard for the weekend. He wondered what SHIELD was making of it all, and smiled to himself, just a bit.


	8. Wherein a VIP is born, all of Jane’s equipment disappears, and Loki starts to heal.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Men in Black come to visit, which Darcy finds thrilling, and after, a little light training. And then Loki has the smallest of emotional meltdowns. (Nothing like the ones he has in canon. :) )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I was reading this out to my husband in the process of editing, there was a point at which he choked on his peanut butter. Not a euphemism, an actual reaction. :) Hope you have fun, and stay away from the peanut butter while you read. I'd hate for this to happen to you.

After the steak and the lobster, after conversations about embassies and dark ops organizations, after arguments over an Aston-Martin Vanquish vs. a Porche Boxer (and the $200,000 price difference), after promises of accounts, accountants, driving lessons, said Boxer, and gold transfers, after a demonstration of GoogleEarth and an explanation of Oprah, after agreeing that yes, Jack and Austin should return to Tucson in the morning because, yes, Loki and Darcy still had work to do until Saturday, after the table was clear and the kitchen clean, after Austin took Loki aside to have just one last private word, after good byes were said and relatives were gone, Loki, Darcy and Jane sat back at the empty and cleared table in calm quiet.

“Well, that was a whirlwind,” Jane commented.

Darcy had been frankly shocked when her boss had not only stayed for the entire conversation, but had been an active participant. Who knew that science lady had other interests? Or was even more than vaguely aware there was a world outside of astrophysics?

“Yes,” His Royal Hotness replied. “It seems to be the standard pace of life on this planet. I had wondered at that.”

Jane snorted. “It’s not, you know. I think at best the standard pace is Hurry Up and Wait. But with you, there seems to be not much Wait.”

His shrug was pure elegance, Darcy noted. “I have spent most of my life waiting. It is overrated.”

“Join the club,” Jane said, and leaned back. “What a day,” she reflected quietly.

A knock on the glass door sounded quite loudly in the subdued space, but it didn’t startle Darcy as much as it did Jane, because Darcy had seen the figure approach out of the corner of her eye.

Jane turned around and got up immediately to answer the door, muttering to herself about nosy neighbors.

“Oh, this is interesting,” Loki murmured and Darcy looked at him, and then looked at him closely. He was grinning slightly and seemed to be almost… listening to something. And then Darcy realized that he probably was.

“You know what’s going on, don’t you, Chaos?” she said, under her breath.

Loki looked at her full on, quickly quirked an eyebrow and his slight grin shifted into a tiny, mischievous smile. “ _Everything_ happens more quickly than I plan.” He rose and held out a hand for her. “Shall we go greet our guest?”

Darcy followed Loki’s lead and could hear the exchange as they crossed the room.

“Good evening, Doctor Foster. I’d like to speak to your intern and her fiance, please.”

“And you are?”

“Agent Phil Coulson of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division.” He flipped a badge open, but Loki was already laughing.

“Ah, but that’s not what you really call yourselves, is it, Agent Coulson?”

The Man in Black turned his placid attention to the man of her dreams, who was chuckling and looking disarmingly charming.

“No. We really like acronyms.”

Darcy took a moment to work it out, because she couldn’t quite remember the middle bit. “You went through all of that trouble just so you could call yourselves ‘SHIELD’?”

“Good evening, Miss Lewis. And congratulations on your upcoming marriage.”

“Stalking is creepy.”

“Observation,” he countered.

“Creepy,” Jane echoed.

“It’s our job to make first contact when those of unknown origin arrive on Earth.”

“Too late,” Darcy said, thinking about sucking her favorite alien’s cock.

“All the same,” Loki said, interrupting Darcy’s awesome banter with an actual Man in Black. He offered his right hand. “Loki of Asgard, at your service.”

“I understand you’d like our help,” the Man in Black replied, shaking Loki’s hand.

“Indeed you are correct. But I think we should speak privately, don’t you?”

“Fine, if you’ll just-”

Loki cut off the nice Man in Black. Turning to her, he asked, “Darcy, will you join us?”

She nodded her assent and a green shimmer shivered around them.

“Huh,” said the Man in Black.

“What’s up with Jane?” She looked mid word, but she had been mid word for, like, six seconds, now.

“We three are now just slightly outside of time, where we may speak privately. I’m sure Agent Coulson can bring his team up to date when he returns.”

The agent in question turned around, looked hard at Loki, and then at Darcy, and then back at Loki. “I’m listening.”

“As you have no doubt already observed, I am here on a peaceful diplomatic mission, sanctioned and blessed by the throne of Asgard. My three-fold intent is to reestablish diplomatic ties, including opening an embassy on your planet, offer my services for the aide of your planet, and to marry this marvelous woman at my side and make her my wife. Knowing that you represent the appropriate agency to which my diplomacy should be initially presented, I decided to wait quietly until you noticed me.”

“Thank you for your consideration.”

“You are not the only one who observes, Agent Coulson.”

_‘Stalking is still creepy, but I’ll keep my opinion to myself for now.’_

“As evidenced.”

“Whether or not you lend your aid in helping me to establish my embassy, I am still willing to give you the offer of my services, within reasonable constraints of time, allowing for my own needs, that of my future wife, and the commitment that I have made to Dr. Foster to aid her research.”

“And how long will your work with Dr. Foster take?”

“Difficult to say. Everything here happens so quickly. I would have thought it to take but fifty years, but for all I know, it will be over in five.”

There was a moment of silence as the Man in Black seemed to digest all of it.

“Well, Your Royal Highness, I believe we can help you. Welcome to Earth. We hope your stay will be a pleasant one. How long to do you intend it to be?”

“Unless I am suddenly called back on an emergency, and with only occasional and brief visits back to Asgard, I should think, perhaps, a thousand years?”

Darcy watched the Man in Black’s expression fail to change. He was good.

_‘What about if we have children? Should they be raised entirely on Earth?'_

Loki looked at her and smiled, which Darcy had to think was on purpose. “Ah, yes. Thank you,” he said, and then she knew it was.

He returned his focus to the Man in Black. “We intend to have children, and that may change our plans, slightly. But Darcy is young yet, and we could easily have them once we return to Asgard.”

“I see. I hope you’ll keep us apprised of your plans while on Earth, and we will happily receive your diplomatic mission and help you to establish your identity and embassy here with us. Would it be convenient for me to return tomorrow morning with some of my people? There are certain formalities which must be observed.”

“Of course. That would be most convenient. I thank you for your gracious hospitality, and look forward to your return upon the morrow.”

* * *

Jane, Darcy, and Loki had returned to the dining chairs and sat down again. They were all three quiet for sometime. Just when Jane was about to say something, Darcy noticed that Loki made a quieting motion. A moment later he spoke.

“I thought we should have some privacy from our new friends, who are undoubtedly at this time still observing us. It suits my purposes that they should do so moderately, but not entirely. Jane, would you appreciate full privacy in your quarters?”

“Yes!” she replied, quite emphatically.

Loki took a moment with his eyes closed. “You have it. Remember that when you have a door or window open and speak out of it, you will not be heard by anyone until you are completely free from the confines of your quarters.”

Jane nodded.

“Will you do that for the entire residential portion of this building?” Darcy asked.

He closed his eyes a moment more. “It is done. I shall lift the enchantment on the rest of the building when we break our fast, if you approve, Jane?”

She nodded, and Loki turned his attention to Darcy and gave her a knowing smile. “Do you still wish to watch me as I do my physical training, or shall I do it later, when you sleep?”

“I totally want to watch, at least once.”

“Mind if I watch?” Jane asked timidly. At Darcy’s arch glance, she quickly qualified, “My interest is purely anthropological, I promise!”

Darcy snorted and Loki chuckled. “Sure it is, boss lady. But I don’t mind if the big guy doesn’t.”

“It is too dark outside now, for you to see if I were to train without, and I fear it would cause undo strain with the friendship we’ve only just forged. Would you mind if I cleared a space in here, Jane? I promise to return everything exactly as it was.”

Jane shrugged, and Loki indicated that they should take two chairs and remove themselves to the far edge of the room.

When Darcy had turned back around, her chair still in her hand, she saw Loki, his feet wide apart, his eyes closed in concentration and his hands finishing a motion that she did not see the beginning of.

And then the room was completely empty.

Jane gave a little shriek of dismay.

“All shall be well, Jane Foster. Do not fear. I promise; Everything back exactly as it was.” Loki stretched out his arms slightly, and then his hands. He walked to the other side of the circular room. “I normally train in my armor, but I could make an exception if you still insist, darling.”

“Oh, come on. At least once with no shirt on. Though… I am curious about what your armor looks like.”

“That is easily remedied.”

And then in a green shimmer, Darcy watched as his casual clothes disappeared into what had to be his armor. Black boots, black leather pants with black metal bits strapped on over his thighs and his shins. A flowing, fitted black leather coat that looked almost like a cape with sleeves went over layers and layers of cloth, metal and straps in black, gold and green. The body armor was impressive - but the thing on his head was… something else. Darcy really had no idea what to make of it. He wore it with confidence and seemed to somehow make it sexy and menacing, and yet… On its own it was a purely ridiculous hat and weirdly phallic. Bi-phallic, even. But she couldn’t bring herself to be snarky about it. Oh, but she would ask about it later.

“You’re a very striking man in armor. I’d hate to get on your bad side,” Darcy settled on, as it was completely true.

Loki narrowed his eyes at her. “What are you not saying?”

“Your hat’s a little weird,” she instantly confessed, the words pouring out of her mouth, unbidden.

Loki laughed long and loud. “Yes, it is. It is striking and quite unique, but not out of the ordinary. You will understand when you go to Asgard on Saturday. It is a land of very weird hats.”

And then in a green shimmer, the hat was gone, the coat was gone, the layers and layers of metal, cloth and straps were gone, all the way to his waist. What remained was acres of pale skin filled with green tattoos, and two leather harnesses attached to his forearms, filled with throwing knives. Most of the tattoos were bunched together on his back, each small design coming together to make a large, oddly shaped tree with bare roots going past his waistband. His chest was free of tattoos, and the muscles were very clearly defined, though he was, in essence, a lean man. Around his well-shaped biceps there were swirls of tattoos, made up of small abstract designs that ended at his elbow. Each and every tattoo was green in one unrelenting shade. It was the shade, Darcy realized, of his magic.

_Oh right!_ she thought. _The tattoos are part of his magic._

He flicked his fingers and a dozen green, glowing spheres appeared at the far side of the room. Loki glanced over to Darcy and Jane, off to the side. “Ladies, make yourself comfortable. If at some point you get bored, please do tell me immediately. I shall take no offence - it is boring.”

And then, he began.

Darcy watched as he stood casually and flicked the knives at the spheres - which she now realized were floating targets - and as he hit them, both the knife and the target disappeared. Eight times he hit all dozen (or was it ten times - she had lost count), using all dozen of his knives, and with a flick of his fingers replenished both knives and targets.

After that, Loki shifted slightly, so he was closer to them and turned his back. With a flick of his fingers, the targets started to move - some fast, some slow, but all at the far range of the room, circling around in front of him. At no point did a target come between them. At no point did Loki miss a target. At no point did he stop to replenish targets or knives - they seemed to replenish on their own, now.

It was mesmerizing to watch the muscles in his back twist and pull as he stood almost in one place, working on his target practice. His shoulders were amazing, and Darcy had not yet had an opportunity to really look at him, naked, from behind. The tattoo was stunning in its intricacy - thin lines, braided into intricate knots, circling, swirling, and binding back onto one another.

And then that part of the training was over. The green spheres stopped moving. Loki flicked the wrist harnesses away and reached in front of him for something Darcy could not see. When his hands returned, he held in his fists two long, gleaming daggers, each nearly the length of his forearm. He clutched them, not as Darcy would have thought, with the blade pointing out over his thumb, but rather back along his corded forearms.

Darcy had a fleeting thought about phallic weapons, but it was soon chased out of her mind entirely because then...

Then the most amazing thing that Darcy had ever witnessed in her life, happened. She watched Loki fight in hand-to-hand combat with an unseen enemy. He began in a low crouch, all tightly flexed muscle and sex, and when the targets started to zoom toward him he sprung six feet in the air, straight up and lashed out when he reached them, twisting to reach other targets and curling to avoid- Darcy realized with a start that some of the targets were now shooting little green bolts at him. He landed lightly, rolling to avoid a shot, springing to his feet again, spinning, twirling, constantly in motion. It was a deadly and strangely erotic dance and Darcy was utterly transfixed. The targets replenished themselves and she watched as Loki was relentlessly hammered, attack after attack, yet none landed on him. He was as lithe as a cat, and the occasional grunt only reminded her of the much louder versions she was looking forward to becoming accustomed to in the bedroom.

Her heart hammered in her chest and her breath came in pants as she watched with wide eyes the impossibly agile and incredibly beautiful man train in the skills he found boring and tedious. Loki was very clearly a black belt in Asgardian battle daggers.

He rolled and feigned, darted and sprung, twirled and ducked low in ways that made Darcy think he was actually constructed of water and silicon, rather than bone and muscle.

When it was over, Darcy genuinely had no idea how much time had passed. Besides the fact that he had made the clock disappear, it seemed like time had stopped. He flicked the targets, now hanging quietly in a line, back into the pocket universe he stored them in. The daggers were next. Still facing away from them, he raised his hands in a graceful arc and then pressed them back to the floor - and the entire contents of the room reappeared in a shimmer of green, as if nothing had been gone. Computers were plugged in, floor lamps were on, the hum of the electricity was louder once more. The truck was back, and Jane sighed in relief next to her. Arms now quiet by his sides, Darcy watched as he took a very deep breath in and then slowly released it. His back had a thin sheen of sweat on it, which just made his pale skin seem to glow.

“Holy shit,” whispered Jane.

“Yup,” Darcy agreed. It was the most amazing thing she’d ever seen. And… he didn’t like it. There was deeper stuff here, but now probably wasn’t the time to psychoanalyze him.

Loki turned around, and it seemed that he was just as vulnerable as the moment she demanded to know what a Jotunn looked like. Whatever issues he had about being a warrior, they apparently ran very deep, and having an audience didn’t help.

Going with her gut - as she was usually wont to do - Darcy sprung up from her chair, sprinted the very short distance between them and jumped on him. He caught her easily and she was vaguely aware of Jane making her goodbyes in the background. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was the beautiful, talented, strong and ever-so-slightly broken man that she loved.

Loki shifted his hold on her and hefted her slightly so she could wrap her legs more securely around his waist, locking her ankles behind his back.

“Well, this is a new way to end my training. Certainly never happened before.” His tone was upbeat, but there was a tightness around his eyes.

She kissed him, and then kissed him again.

“That was amazing,” she murmured against his lips. She kissed him again. “You are amazing.” She kissed him again. She shifted, then, so that she could be by his ear. Ever so quietly she said, “And whatever voice in your head that is telling you you’re anything less that totally amazing, is a liar. Don’t listen to it. Listen to me.”

She could hear him breathe hard, panting for a moment, and he clutched her harder. His head fell toward her shoulder and she could feel the sigh, as well as hear it.

“Darcy, Darcy,” he chanted on a whisper. “I have waited three hundred years for your love, your acceptance. I was so impatient. I was so very angry. I had begun to believe that I was destined to wander alone and lonely for the rest of my years. I- I am ashamed to admit that I… It was so very tempting to take a wife who wanted me only for my position in the hopes that one day she might grow to respect me… But I am now so very relieved that I did not succumb to that temptation. They ultimately cared nothing for me, those who bore me secret scorn. And to think I imagined that love could be born from such scorn- a foolish hope, indeed. But you, my sweet darling… Your utter lack of deceit is like a clear, cool, quiet void in my senses, filled only with the sweetness of your adoration, the fire of your love, the soothing chill of your compassion, and I am humbled. I am humbled to my very bones.”

“Bitches,” she muttered. “I’m convinced that Asgard is filled with bitches and assholes, aside from your mother, who seems perfectly sane and normal.”

“I have only ever had Thor to defend my honor, and then only when it suited him,” he said, and Darcy could hear the smile in his voice. “I am glad my honor has a new champion. It needs it. It has been much tarnished by the vitriol of others.”

If Darcy could have growled, she would have. “Not anymore, it isn’t. You’re here now, and you can rest and recoup. And if anyone says anything, it will be my joy in life to chew them up and spit them out. Just see if I won’t,” she said, echoing his words from earlier in the day, and, perhaps reminding him of the fact that they were having sex when he said them.

His head snapped up and as he looked her in the eye, one quizzical eyebrow rose slowly, and then fell again. He looked so open and vulnerable, once more.

“Darcy,” he started, softly, gently, and so tentatively. “I know you must sleep this evening, and I apologize for keeping you awake last night.”

Darcy gave him a look - why he was he taking responsibility for that? Like she wasn’t involved?

He continued, though. If he heard her in his head, he gave no indication. “But I dearly wish to make love to you, if only for a short while.”

His heart was in his voice and Darcy was struck completely mute. What. What? What?

“Please, Darcy.” His voice was a quiet, desperate whisper, and his pain confused her.

What. The hell. Was wrong. With Asgard?

“Loki, unless I’m puking, unconscious or we have an actual audience, I’m pretty okay with having sex with you. Like, whenever. And frequently. And don’t you dare, ever again apologize for the most amazing night of my life, so far. And besides, I totally had fifty percent responsibility for whatever happened, up to and including not letting you have any sleep - sorry about that, by the way. I have no idea what’s going on in that head of yours. But it does not reflect my reality.”

Loki looked somewhat stunned, and Darcy tried to wrap her mind around whatever it was that was going on.

Shift gears, Darcy, she coached herself. Shift gears!

A thought occurred to her. Might be a good one.

“Okay. Wait a second. Out of curiosity, how often, would you estimate, that a married couple - or, maybe a couple that is about to get married - has sex? You know, normally on Asgard. And like, a nice, young couple who really dig each other.”

“Perhaps… several times a year?” His voice betrayed his fear that this would be their lives. But at least now she knew what was going on. No wonder he was praying to the fates for frequent sex. What on earth would ‘frequent’ mean to him?

“How many times is several?” She asked calmly.

“Perhaps… twenty?”

“And… for a nice young couple who really dig each other to have very frequent sex, what would that look like?” Darcy was so calm, she was giving herself an extra gold star for Acting Like An Adult.

He closed his eyes with a pained expression and made like he wanted to put her down, but Darcy was not having it. “Damn,” he breathed. “Darcy, I’m so sorry, I should never have asked. You gave me such a gift at luncheon and I feel I have squandered-”

“No,” she said tightly, interrupting him. “Stop. I asked you a question. Answer it.”

“Perhaps… two or even three times as often,” he said quietly, his voice full of shame.

“So. Sixty times a year. That’s, like, five times a month.”

“Darcy, you don’t-”

She cut him off. “Loki! Stop talking!” She took in a breath and wondered how on earth she should say what she needed to say. “Okay. That’s how it is on Asgard. But you realize I’m not from Asgard. And I’m not Aesir. And really, neither are you. So, who cares what the Aesir do? If you have any information on the mating habits of the Jotunn, please feel free to enlighten me, but not until I’m done saying my thing.

“So. Let’s talk about human sexual practices, yeah? A nice young couple like us, who totally dig each other and can’t keep their hands off of each other, maybe, if they’re super busy and pretty stressed and don’t have much time, maybe they only have sex two or three times a week. Maybe even only once a week.”

Darcy absorbed the wideness of Loki’s eyes, his shock.

“You know I’m telling the truth. And that same couple, if they do have the time, and they’re not totally stressed out by other things, and neither one of them is sick or feeling bad, that same couple might have sex everyday, or nearly every day. If they can manage it, several times every day. And when they get older, they slow down, sure, but spending all night making love to one another? Not totally unheard of. Maybe not an everyday kind of thing, because, yeah, sleep. Sleep is good. Definitely need sleep tonight. But sweet Jesus, Loki - my mental health clearly requires more orgasms than the Aesir, and apparently yours does, too. It’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Darcy absorbed his silent shock and wondered how long it took to reorder hundreds and hundreds of years of expectations.

“It’s a whole new world, Loki,” she said to him softly, gently. “You said it yourself, earlier. Life moves faster, here. It’s okay for you to go with the flow. There’s no shame in that.”

He was still quiet, and after about a minute, Darcy spoke again.

“I have an idea. Why don’t you chill here, and meditate, or whatever would be most useful, and I’ll go move all my stuff into the other room, and make up the bed. And then we will christen that new bed and still have time to sleep. Except this time we’ll also have room to sleep. And later, we can discuss how attractive I find you, and how much I would actually like to just spend all day, every day in bed with you. Because I kind of would.”

“No,” he said, quietly but quite definitely.

“Um. Okay. What’s your alternate plan, then?”

“I don’t ever want to let you go,” he breathed out, the words almost indistinguishable from one another.

“Um, it’s a nice thought, but I do occasionally need to use the bathroom, and I kinda like to do that on my own.”

His whisper was barely audible. “I am so afraid that if I let you go, you will disappear and I will wake in a cold sweat in my bed, agonized by a tragic dream too beautiful to be true, and that I will still be the same desperately lonely and angry man that I was before. Darcy, please… please do not abandon me to that fate.”

“Hey, hey, hey, this is not a dream. And it sure as shit isn’t a tragic one.” Darcy sighed. “Okay, new plan. If I showed you the sheets and blankets and stuff, could you make the bed with magic? Move some of my stuff in?”

Silently he nodded.

“Well, then you don’t have to let me go, yet. But let’s relocate this party, okay?”

As it turned out, it took Loki significantly less time to do everything than Darcy would have taken, and in less than five minutes, with only a few awkward moments (he really wouldn’t put her down), all of her clothes and personal stuff was shifted into the new room, and the bed was freshly made.

“Darcy, will you allow me to give you pleasure?” His face was hidden from her, his mouth under her ear.

“On the condition that you take some for yourself, yes.”

And their clothes were gone. Darcy wondered if she would get used to that. He shifted her in his arms and she could feel his tip right against her entrance. He slipped slowly inside. He was just the most perfect size for her - not too small, not weirdly gargantuan - perfectly sized and really hard. She sighed when he filled her completely.

“Now, isn’t that better?” she asked.

“You’re so wet,” he said quietly, as the whole conversation had been. “How can it be that you truly want me like this, so often?”

Darcy shrugged in his arms. “This is normal, for me. I want you this bad and this much because I find you really, stunningly attractive, I don’t have any hangups about sex, and we happen to be in a relationship where it’s totally okay for me to act on my attraction to you. And if it turns out that I want sex more often than you, that’s okay, too. You can watch me masturbate, and we’ll see if that does anything for your libido.”

Without moving, without thrusting in or out, Loki just pulsed inside of her, over and over again. After the first several, and a whole-spine shiver, Darcy realized he was pulsing his cock to the beat of her heart. It brought tears to her eyes that surprised her even as she sniffed and blinked them away.

“Why don’t you lay us down so you can make love to me?” she whispered.

He did, but he didn’t quite let go of her. His hands cupped the back of her shoulders, his fingers curled around the tops, holding her quite securely in place as he, face turned away and with agonizing slowness, pushed and pulled within her, like long, slow, deep breaths. He was shaking as he did, as he occasionally held himself within her, pulsing in time with her heart. It took Darcy some time to realize that he was crying, silently.

What would it do to a person? She wondered. She stroked his back and wondered what it did to a person to be raised as a different species, with different physiological, and maybe psychological needs, and to be told your entire life that everything that felt normal and natural, wasn’t. For decades? Centuries? A solid millennia?

And how long would it take all of that to heal?

Loki needed, literally, _centuries_ of therapy, and Darcy seriously doubted he’d go for it. But at least she had time to work on him. And in the meantime, she could be here with him, and tell him what was real, and what wasn’t.

“You’re safe, now, Loki. This isn’t a dream. When you wake up, you’ll still be in my bed, and I’ll still be here, too.” His shaking was harder, but he was still silent, and he was still slowly pushing and pulling within her. She continued, quietly and gently. “I love you and accept you just for who you are, not who you think you ought to be.”

Over and over, the same or similar words, words of love and acceptance, of safety and peace were spoken between them. Darcy knew it was a drop in the bucket, really. She knew she’d be saying these or similar words for a very long time to come as he slowly began to heal his perception of himself. But Darcy also realized a little piece of what she must be worth to him; what she gave him in this moment was something he could never have found on Asgard, and probably not on Jotunheim - they hadn’t wanted him to begin with. Probably plenty of excellent, compassionate women on Earth could have offered this to him, but it was her privilege to have gotten to him first, and fallen in love.

Darcy was clear that healing was his responsibility, and that she couldn’t do it for him. But she could damn well hold up the Love Mirror in front of his face, constantly telling him how she saw him, and how she loved him, especially in his most vulnerable moments.

“I love you, Loki,” she said, and punctuated her statement by clenching her kegel muscles. “I love that you want as much sex as I do, sweetheart. I mean, God, what if you had been Aesir? How horrible would that be, you’d probably think I was some kind of weird sex-crazed, Midgardian maniac. Now we can just be normal together, and you can take me on every flat surface in the room. And I totally want to have an orgy with just you, you know, if you don’t mind totally outnumbering me. Sorry I can’t make multiple copies of myself, but if I could, I would. And you would be utterly devoured by Darcies.”

The shaking was less hard, now, and she could have sworn that she’d heard the tiniest laugh in the midst of his crying.

“I love you, Loki. When you were training, I was completely in awe of how elegant and powerful you looked. Your movements were so precise, yet so fluid. It was the most stunning display of physical prowess I’ve ever seen and I totally wanted to tackle you to the floor, strip your clothes off and ride you hard. And part of that was that I knew as much as you hated being a warrior, if I were in danger you would be able to respond without thinking. You would protect me. I am so safe, with you, Loki, and you demonstrated today just how efficiently you would take down anyone who threatened me. And that… I just had no idea what a turn on that would be.”

He paused, pressed deeply into her and pulsed again. Finally, his head rose and she took in his red-rimmed eyes, his tearstained face.

“Thor is so much better than I,” he choked out, tears quietly streaming down his face. “And I-” overwhelmed he stopped. Darcy had both hands at his face, wiping away his tears with her thumbs as best she could. “I’m so afraid for you to meet him,” he gasped out, and then his face was buried next to hers again and she could finally hear him crying, his quiet gasps and sobs breaking her heart.

Darcy had never been a particularly violent young woman. She carried a taser for protection, mostly because her brother insisted, and she’d only used it twice before. But in this moment, she really wanted to tase Thor. Probably wouldn’t do any good, but neither would clocking him in the face and then nursing a broken hand.

“You know, I want to meet him, and I don’t. I want to meet him so that you will know without a single doubt that I can look at the golden child and still prefer the blue one. Because that is exactly what will happen. I promise you. But I don’t want to meet him, because I also know the next thing that will happen. I will get thrown out of Asgard for assaulting a member of the Royal Family, because if I meet him, I will hit him. And then I’ll probably have a broken arm, and you’ll be mad at me, and your mother will never forgive me, and my mother will never forgive me, everything will be chaos - but the bad kind, not the good kind - and I’ll die of embarrassment in the Observatory, which is just as well, because if I don’t, you’ll be forced to marry a criminal, and there goes diplomacy.”

His crying stopped, finally, and he looked at her, a tremulous smile on his face. “You would do that for me,” he said in wonder.

Darcy just nodded. They were quiet for a long moment before she spoke. “Look, I know I can’t flip you over if you don’t want me to, you totally demonstrated that earlier out there, but I want to ride you, and it is so my turn to be on top.”

Without another word, he shifted them both to the side, rolled, and then shifted again so they were back in the middle of the bed.

“Is this to my lady’s satisfaction?” She could see the love so plainly in his eyes.

She smiled. “Hands on my hips, please.”

Immediately, he complied. She shifted a little, folding her legs up against his waist. When she sat up, they both groaned.

“You know what’s awesome, my new best friend?” she asked as she began to move.

“Yes,” he said on a gasp. “You have given me your heart, even knowing that I am such  man as this.”

“Well, that’s not what I was going to say, but that counts, too. Except for the ‘such a man’ part, because the man that you are such of is wonderful, beautiful, amazing, strong, intelligent, funny, sexy, and mine. That’s the awesome part. That you are also a little bit broken just makes  you… well, I was going to say human. Would you get my point if I said it just makes you human? I think maybe the best part of being human is that none of us is perfect. We can come really close, in so many different ways, but at the end of the day when we have failed at doing everything perfectly, it’s okay. Because we’re only human.

“And you’re only human. And so is Thor. Because really, sweetheart, one moment you’re saying how much better than you he is, but another moment you’re explaining what an idiot he is. So what if he’s stronger? So what if he takes more pleasure in killing people than you do? So what if people like him better because he’s gullible? So what if the Aesir think he’s handsomer because he’s blond? So what if he doesn’t like magic? What do I care what they think? Let me tell you what I think.

“I think that anyone stronger than you is overdoing it. You are at the perfect level of strong. Beyond that is just showing off. I don’t like show offs.

“I think that taking pleasure in killing people is a sign of mental illness, and not something to be admired or lauded. It is something to be controlled and medicated, lest, oh, I don’t know, people get killed.

“I think that if people want the gullible around, then they deserve them. Me, I find intelligence and insight sexy. I mean, I kind of hoped it was obvious by now, but just in case it isn’t, I really want to lick your mind, Loki. I mean, I want to curl up in your brain and read it like a book.

“I think you’re handsomer than anyone I’ve ever met because you can also turn blue. For me, this means that you actually have twice the amazingness. Because you’re stunning in a very familiar way, when your skin is pale. And then that is doubled because when you turn blue, everything is different, you’re still stunning, and the clan lines are crazy cool. And Thor is just, you know, _blond_.

“Anyone who doesn’t like magic is an idiot. I just… I don’t know what else to say about that. Your magic is amazing, and I’m jealous.

“So, sure. Tell Thor he’s not invited to the wedding. But don’t do it because you’re afraid I’ll ditch you and go for him. Do it because you’re afraid I’ll embarrass myself and my family by assaulting him.”

“He won’t be pleased. I know that he loves me, deep down. He may throw a temper tantrum.”

“You may care, but I don’t. Boy needs to grow the hell up. But really, if you want him there, then have him there. And as a special favor to you, I won’t attack him. But I’ll think about it. I promise you, that’s what I’ll be thinking about. Well, that, and the fact that regardless of how pretty he may be, his future wife isn’t going to get much sex out of him.  No, no, it’s very clear to me that I’ve gotten the better brother, here.”

Darcy had been moving slightly all this time, rocking a little, rolling her hips, but now it began in earnest. Loki just lay back, all spread out before her, groaning, beautiful, and only a tiny bit broken. But since Darcy was well aware that she had issues, too, this was totally acceptable. Good, even.

But it was hard to think. Hard, when there were other hard things to attend to, and when her fiance was no longer crumbling apart while making love to her. Darcy had a feeling that was going to be weird, in retrospect.

She arched and rocked, goaded on by his sighs and groans. She glanced down at him and saw the look on his face, so full of love and wonder, and she realized that however chaotic the last twenty-four hours had been, it was worth it.

It was all worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so reality check. Would a human guy be able to have this conversation, tears and all, while still aroused and at least nominally having sex? Husband says maybe not, and I believe him. But the way I’m writing Loki, that’s the Jotunn coming out, and he’s got some serious issues and hangups around sex, but they’re reversed from what we might be normally familiar with.


	9. Wherein bad decisions are made in a three-to-one ratio.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy wonders if it’s all just a dream, siblings are given enough rope to hang themselves, and Jane isn’t the only one emailing old professors for help.

When Darcy woke up she was alone in bed. She was groggy for a moment, but more quickly than anyone might have assumed she bolted upright and scanned the room. There was no sign of him. For one, brief, panicky moment she thought that she had dreamed it all. Her stomach bottomed out and in all the ways that she’d felt at the top of the world in the dream, she now felt completely hollow.

In her mind, she keened his name.

Darcy blinked as he appeared next to the bed looking wary, worried, wearing full battle armor (hat, included), and holding a dagger in each hand. She watched him scan the room.

“Darcy, are you well?”

She nodded mutely. The daggers dematerialized and his clothes shimmered away until his chest was bare and he wore only simple, loose, drawstring linen pants.

“Sorry, I-” but she cut herself off. God, she was an idiot. And she’d panicked him for no reason, and then he popped in on red alert and everything...

He sat down on the bed and took up one of her hands and quietly looked into her eyes. A tiny rueful smile played at the edge of his lips. “I am sorry for surprising you with my absence. I have something for you, a small gift,” he said and he looked so hopeful and hesitant that no matter what it was, Darcy had already decided to love it.

“Can I see?”

Loki opened his hand and in a small green shimmer, an oddly pretty little disk of braided, knotted brown hair sat there, looking innocuous.

“What is it?”

“It is a token of my magic. The first of many I wish to offer you as gift. It is a minor spell, but if you wear it, I shall always be able to find you.”

Darcy smiled. He did magic for her. “How do I wear it?” she asked with a huge grin.

Loki responded with a grin, in return. He turned over the inside of his left wrist. “My mother gave me hers when I was but a child. I wear it here,” he said, indicating the light green tattoo, which, actually, was a different shade of green than all his other tattoos.

Darcy offered her left wrist and he took it in his hands. His thumb rubbed over a spot.

“Here it will not conflict with the magic of our handfasting.”

For a moment Darcy wasn’t certain what he meant, and then it dawned on her - the magic rope used in handfasting. “Will that leave a tattoo, as well?”

Loki nodded, though his attention was on her wrist. He placed the token lightly on the skin and focused on it. In a heartbeat it seemed to absorb into her with a tingle and a small, sharp sting that made her gasp. Loki rubbed his thumb over the area, soothing it, and then bent down to kiss it.

“Thank you, Loki,” Darcy said, with a smile. She ran a finger over the design, so intricate, such tiny lines. The care he took in crafting it was even clearer viewed as a tattoo.

“Now,” Loki said, still holding her wrist in his hands. “We have time before we must break our fast with Jane.” He looked up at her through his eyelashes, and he was all boyish charm. “And I am most remorseful that I caused you anxiety. Would you allow me to make it up to you?”

Darcy grinned. “I would.”

Loki dragged the covers slowly off her and slunk down so his head was between her thighs.

_God_ , she loved it when he went down on her. This was going to be a fantastic day.

* * *

“Darcy, sweetheart, how are you?”

“Good, good. Just a heads up to let you know that those people Loki was waiting on showed up after you left, and are likely still violating my constitutional rights even as I speak and they listen. Hi, guys! So anyway, we can move forward with the Embassy plans, and an Agent Coulson will be in contact with you regarding Loki’s identification and diplomatic status, as well as mine. All of the previous plans are still a go, I think, except that his name should be on the accounts as well - by the way, his name for the purposes of legal documents is ‘Loki of Asgard’, and he should get his own black amex, and I think the Porsche ought to be green.”

“I thought you’d decided on blue.”

“Yeah, but green is his color and I think it would be a nice touch, you know?”

“Whatever you like, sweetheart.”

“Oh, and we’re still keeping this on the downlow until after the honeymoon. I want Loki to be able to experience anonymity before everything becomes a zoo.”

“Too late.”

“Dad.”

“Is that all?”

“What kind of timeframes are we looking at?”

“Your accounts are already open - that was the form you faxed back to me this morning - and your card should arrive via messenger before five this evening. As soon as I hear from them regarding his ID I’ll have paperwork sent for you both to sign, and if I get it back by tomorrow morning, his card should arrive by Friday evening. I’ll get back to you on the car.”

“Okay, cool. Thanks, Dad. I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“Darcy-” he said, his voice filled with some urgency.

“What’s up?”

“Humor me, okay?”

“Dad,” she started, and there was more than a little note of warning in her voice. He couldn’t possibly want to start now on her getting married, not when he seemed so cool with it before. Not when he was helping them so much.

“It’s not what you think, Darcy. I like him, actually. I just…” Darcy heard him sigh on the other end of the phone, but was patient. With Dad it was usually worth it. “I know you’re taking your first steps into a larger world. And I know you are going to have a very long life together, if all goes well. But what I don’t think you know is how quickly it will seem to go by, no matter how long it actually lasts. Cherish him, sweetheart. Never let a chance go by to tell him how much you care. And never, never, never go to bed angry. It’s not worth the heartache, even if you’re right. And don’t forget that he comes from a culture that thinks the best death is one in battle - don’t take the time you have for granted.”

Darcy refrained from correcting him, and after a moment she realized her Dad might be right about that last point, regardless of how Loki felt about being a warrior. He didn’t have to like it to feel it was the morally best way way to die. Plenty of people Darcy knew didn’t actually enjoy the morals they felt obligated to follow.

“Thank you, Dad. I love you, too. Call me soon and tell me stuff, okay? And, oh, hey! Have you heard from Aiden? She hasn’t responded to my text.”

“She’s working on getting the time off, sweetheart.”

It was his tone that gave him away and Darcy just knew that her older sister was being a bitch about things.

Darcy gritted her teeth. “Is she too important, now that she’s a doctor?”

“Being a medical resident is hard, Darcy. And getting even two days of vacation when she’s only just begun means that she has to owe a lot of favors and be more charming than she’s possibly capable of being.”

Darcy took a deep breath. It was time to woman up and take it like a girl. “I’m sorry, Dad. You… you don’t have to make excuses for her. If she doesn’t actually want to come, then I guess I don’t really want her there.”

“You know, Darcy, she might work harder to come if we could actually tell her who you’re getting married to, and where.”

“Yeah, no. If she has no interest in coming to her sister’s wedding simply because it’s her sister’s, then she doesn’t get to attend the most exclusive Royal wedding in the Universe, simply because it’s her sister’s. No. Absolutely not.”

“Well, I’ll keep working on her, then.”

“I wish you wouldn’t. She’s a big girl. You are allowed to give her enough rope to hang herself.”

“Darcy!”

“Well? It’s not like any of us were unclear in anyway. _‘Darcy’s getting married Saturday night, please come.’_ How can we be more clear that she ought to come? Ask, _‘pretty please, with sugar on top’?”_

“Darcy, family is important, even when they’re being complete idiots. Ask Loki. I’m sure he’ll agree. And his brother’s coming.”

“Well, you’re partially right. He would agree. But I have no idea if I’ll actually meet his brother there or not. Mostly because he’s an idiot and the more I hear about how he’s treated Loki, the more I want to punch him, even if it will break my whole arm to do it.”

There was a moment of quiet over the line.

“I see.”

“Look. Right now I am happy enough to think that I will live to see the day that my sister is nice to me, and that even if she has wrinkles and is all shrivelled, I’ll still look like I’m in my twenties.”

“I’m not sure that’s the right attitude, either, Darcy.”

“Well that’s as good as I can do today, Dad. Perhaps I’ll grow as a person.”

“I live in hope, sweetheart. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Dad. Love you.”

* * *

Frigga sat on the throne, holding Gungir and focusing on the dispute before her. One of her attendants discretely approached and the All-Mother held up one hand for the trial to pause. The attendant bent to her ear and spoke ever-so-quietly in the otherwise echoing hall.

“The Lady Sif begs your present audience. She has fears concerning His Highness, Thor, that she would lay before you.”

Frigga nodded. “In the anteroom, presently.” She turned to address those assembled. “We shall adjourn for the midday meal and resume in one bell.” She tapped the spear lightly on the floor and it resounded mightily.

The queen swept out of the room, wondering how quickly her plans would need to be put into place and hoping against hope that it would not need to be soon. Surely not before Odin awoke?

But no. It was a foolish thought. She knew. She’d always known it would come to this. She must simply steel herself to do what she’d always sworn to herself she would never be able to do. The weaving was never wrong. And bound by silence she might have been, it did not mean that she could not enact her own plans, so carefully weighed.

Frigga steeled her nerve to what she knew Sif would say.

She entered the room and the warrior fell to one knee, her fist over her heart.

“All-Mother, hear my concern.”

“Rise, my child, and lay all before me. Come. Sit as we used to,” Frigga said, placing Gungir in her stand and sitting on a low bench, inviting Sif to join her.

“It is Thor, All-Mother. He will not listen to reason. He seeks to do something for Loki’s wedding, a gesture to prove his love and loyalty, but he will not say what. I fear it has to do with travelling to Jotunheim. When I told him I would have no part in it, he bade me leave, but I do not think his mind to be different than from the start. He is powerful and I do not fear for his own safety, but I do fear for the treaty that the All-Father has with the Jotunn. No good can come from Thor’s actions.”

“Sif, you have acted in wisdom this day. Whatever Thor may say to you, know that it was his own actions that have brought him to his present course, and those actions have been on the same course for centuries. I will deal with my son, and I thank you for your part in preventing needless war. You may go, my child.”

“Thank you, All-Mother.”

When the anteroom chamber was shut once more, Frigga barred the door with a wave of her hand. She fetched the spear and faced the direction of the Observatory.

“Heimdall,” she began. “I require your attention. Under no circumstances is Thor to use the bifrost, until further notice. If he does make a request of you, kindly do your best to uncover as much of his plans as you may, and send a messenger immediately. I have grave fears and would this day avert war. Thank you for your attention. That is all.”

Frigga immediately turned her attention to the locating charm for her youngest son. She activated it, and then slowly counted to thirty before walking the illusion and appearing five paces in front of him.

“Hello, Mother. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Yet again, Frigga was stunned to the core to see such profound changes in her darling son. Yesterday he had seemed happier than she’d ever found him. And today, he seemed lighter somehow. It only strengthened her resolve for the course of action before her.

“I have a request to make of you that you may find difficult, and yet it has come to this.”

She watched as Loki paled.

“I will not return without Darcy at my side.”

Frigga smiled, trying to reassure. “That is not my request, though I would never ask you to be parted from your love for long.”

“Then what, Mother?”

“The situation with your brother, Thor, has grown intolerable. I fear he will shortly go beyond the point where a mother’s compassion may explain away his actions. I would not ask this before the wedding, but shortly thereafter, I will send him to you.” Loki’s jaw dropped and he seemed to be marshalling his arguments. Frigga held up her hand. “No. It will be done. I shall bind his magic, remove his right to Mjolnir, and forbid him from the harvest. He will be disowned from the house of Odin until such time as he demonstrate humility, respect, and wisdom.”

Loki still gaped.

“I wish for you to find some occupation for him to which he will be accountable, and in which he may learn at least one of these traits. When he has demonstrated all three, Mjolnir will once again be rightfully his and answer to his call. In the meantime, she will find you worthy, if you wish to bear her.”

Loki blanched.

Frigga waited for her silver-tongued son to find his wits. It took longer than she would have expected.

“Mother,” he said, his voice breaking. “Thor may well die of old age before such a lesson be imparted to him! Surely you do not wish that.”

“If it be his will that he die rather than learn humility, respect, and wisdom, then it would be better for Asgard if he do so. But I do not think it will come to that. Midgard has been exceptionally healthy for one of my sons. I believe it will do for both. Come, Loki. Let him walk in your shadow for a time and discover the sensations it brings. As your queen, it is my will that you take on this burden. As your mother, I ask you to seek out the depth of your heart for what compassion you have, that it may be applied.”

Loki sighed and his shoulders dropped. “According to your will, Mother, I shall do as you bid. And I shall hope against hope that Thor learns his lessons well and quickly. The throne is a burden I do not wish to bear.”

“Nor I, my son. But we do what we must.”

Loki nodded silently.

“Mother, are you well?”

“It is long work, and tedious. Your father had put off his sleep for so long, I know not how much rest he requires. It may well be days more, yet, but not months, I hope.”

“I am sorry for you, Mother. I hope he returns to you quickly.” A moment later and he added, “I am reminded, I have three requests. First, there are very large works I wish to do for Darcy, but I am loathe to sleep for days and leave her unprotected. May I have a guard for a few months in the time after the wedding?”

“Will not your brother do? Even in his weakened state, he should suffice.”

Loki gave her a look.

“Do you imagine he will cooperate?”

“After an initial period of adjustment, yes. If you do not find this to be so, I shall send you a guardian for my daughter. What next would you have of me?”

“There is a way of diplomacy in this realm that I would follow. Those of lands distant to one another and with separate governments send embassies to set up a permanent house, agreed upon as an extension of the home land. It is the home away from home for those of that land, and the residence of the ambassador’s household. It is guarded even in peace and is a beacon in such a distant land. I wish to set up such a house for Asgard within Midgard, and have received permission from this land to do so. I wish to live there, primarily, with Darcy once it is ready. When the time has come, I would ask for a complement of guards and staff, with their families, who might wish to stay, to be coached on custom, and to visit Midgard in their off hours. Perhaps for a term of service of ten years. While here, their normal wages will be paid on Asgard to the aid of their families, as well as an additional diplomatic wage paid in the local currency for their comfort here.”

Frigga nodded. “That is very reasonable, and a commendable custom of Midgard. They have advanced well since I last looked upon them. I shall begin the search for excellent candidates so that they may be ready for your choice when you have need of them. What is your final request?”

“It is twofold, and a delicate one. Its cause rises from the fact that to build and support such a house, as well as to travel in a state which would not alarm the Midgardians would require all of the gold that I have, but to use it would upset the delicate balance of their economy, which also relies on gold having a somewhat stable asking price. But there are two quite easy ways for us to quickly raise the necessary funds in the local economy without putting an undo burden upon the poor.”

“You do not think to tax them, my son?” She knew he didn’t, but she had no idea what he might say. It was an odd feeling for her.

“No indeed, Mother. But there are two things. The first is of a very wealthy group of people who, among other things, create magical maps that any may interact with on Midgard, even those without magic. I propose we allow them and their tools access to Asgard so they may create their cartographic magic. For this privilege they will pay us an unbelievable sum of money in their own currency. They have done this for their entire realm already, and I have seen it. It is quite impressive.”

“I agree to this, though when I am on Midgard soon I wish to see this magic that they do. They must be properly chaperoned while in Asgard, and I will look to you to see that it is done.”

“You are to Midgard?” Loki looked thoroughly shocked.

Frigga smiled. “Yes, though I know not when. Do not look so surprised, my son. It has done you such good. It is the home of your beloved. Of course I wish to visit once more. What is the final part of your request?”

“This is the most delicate. There are other, looser groups of very wealthy individuals on Midgard who would pay a premium for themselves and their guests to stay but three nights in Asgard, hosted by the palace, to be feted, to experience our culture, our food, our music, our countryside. Darcy and I would chaperone them. I thought five separate groups, but perhaps no more than ten would suffice. Would you be amenable to such a plan?”

“But three nights? Truly?”

“Truly.”

“We could hosts goats at court for three nights and not be inconvenienced, to say nothing of Midgardians. Yes, yes, this is a fine plan. When you are ready, send me documents bearing your itineraries and requirements. But you must bring Darcy for a visit before these others you mention. It would not be right for her to view the Realm Eternal with such strangers, not for the first time. She must see it with you, my love.”

“Yes, of course. But it must of necessity be quite a short trip, Mother. Our plans will not allow us to be too long off realm.”

Frigga looked at her son. “Our?”

Loki’s smile lit up his face. Truly she had not seen this expression of pure joy since well before his majority. “Mother,” he said quietly and in a tone of awe. “I have fallen in love with the most perfect woman in the Nine Realms, and it is an unending source of wonderment to me that she adores me in return. She has spent her young life studying governance! The sorcerous cartographers as well as the three-day fetes of the wealthy were her ideas. The embassy house was her idea. My own hopes for a successful diplomatic mission here are furthered so much more quickly because of her presence in my life, I am certain of it. Her father has been already an invaluable ally in wading through the complex legal and financial systems of this realm - truly, mother, Midgard has become vastly more interesting even in the last century. And there are other things-” Loki cut himself off and… _he was blushing._

“My heart, what is it?” Frigga asked gently. She moved to walk with him, within the illusion, and he automatically responded in kind. Ever it would be easier for him to say a difficult thing if he walked next to her, rather than be forced to stand and face her. For the first time, Frigga noticed the red desert around them. Such odd places Loki enjoyed.

“She was not raised to fear the Jotunn and quite enjoys seeing me thus. But there is something else.”

“And it is delicate. Go on, Loki.”

“I have often been confused as to why certain aspects of myself did not quite fit the mold. It has been… difficult to bear being so different, both the obvious differences and the subtle and even secret ones. I have reason to believe that, in fact, there are several Jotunn needs that are quite different from Aesir, and even with a shifted shape, they affected me deeply in ways that only now make sense.”

Ah. “And are those Jotunn needs so very different from those of Humans?”

His sense of relief was palpable. “They are not,” he breathed out.

Frigga nodded. “Your father and I had such differences. It made the first century of marriage quite difficult. The Vanir are so very similar in many respects to the Aesir, but not, alas, the same. It was only the magics practiced in the bedchamber that kept me from hating him for many years. But such has not been your problem, has it?”

Loki shook his head.

“As I recall, Humans can be quite lusty indeed, when they are inspired, and well beyond the capacity of a single Aesir to satiate. I take it that a single Jotunn is up to the challenge?”

“Oh, yes. And- I-” Her son took a moment to collect himself and did not notice the smile of his mother. “It is glorious,” he finally settled on, his tone one of reverent awe once more.

“Good. It should be. I am well pleased with your choice of bride, and you will have my blessing on the day.”

Loki turned to face her. She had never seen tears of joy in his eyes before, but they could not be mistaken for anything else. “I am so happy, mother,” he whispered.

Frigga beamed at him, the burden of state lightening from her shoulders. “This is as it should be.”

They were quiet a moment more in each other’s company. “And now I must go. I love you, Loki, and I am so pleased that you have found happiness at last.”

He smiled again. So many smiles. Each one so different. “Thank you, mother. Be well.”

She reached out as if to touch his cheek, but of course it only dissolved him and the red desert until she was back, again, in the antechamber.

It was only six hours until Heimdall’s messenger came to her, but it was enough time to eat the midday meal, sit in judgment at the trial and create the token that would bind her eldest son’s magic, should he for some reason be found in the midst of a traitorous plot.

* * *

“Okay, I need you to sign here, here, here, and... here.”

“What is the human preoccupation with the manner in which I mark my name?”

“We figured out a while ago that very few people can mimic the exact way someone signs their own name. It’s the easiest and simplest way to formalize a promise. And for the really important documents, we get them notarized. It’s not quite so simple and it’s not quite so easy. A notary is a person who has been determined as trustworthy, and they witness the signing, and they keep their own records of what they’ve witnessed, and they put their own unique mark on the document, or really the promise it represents. If there is any question about the document later, the notary can be called as witness.”

Jane was staring at her.

“What?”

Jane gave her a disbelieving look.

“Just because I don’t do calculus in my head or get hot and bothered by magical wormholes, doesn’t mean I’m a moron.”

“No, I just-” Jane backtracked. “I guess they’re right. Second half of the internship is different than the first. I never noticed it when _I_ was an intern.”

Darcy turned to look at Jane full in the face. “Jane, am I your first intern?”

Jane opened her mouth, and then closed it again.

“I am, aren’t I? I just popped your intern cherry!” sang out. And then Darcy did a little chair dance.

“Nevermind,” Jane said, apparently giving up on Darcy’s maturity level, as she went back to work on her second list for Loki.

Darcy had thought the rest of the day would be as uneventful as Jane’s response. She was looking forward to data entry and online shopping when her new credit card arrived. You know, the black American Express that had no spending limit. That new card. There were one or two - or twenty - things she could use. The courier bearing her new pride and joy arrived at three, which was awesome. And then Darcy had an opportunity to see what a black amex actually looked like, which was less awesome. There were no numbers! The front was entirely black with her name in a hologram. And the back had a magnetic strip, her name, and a place for her signature, but absolutely no numbers whatsoever!

There were instructions for use. Apparently, the name on the card was unique. They simply didn’t issue cards to people using the same name present on the card in the exact same way. So if there were two John Lewis Does, One might need to be J. Lewis Doe and one might need to be John L. Doe. And sometimes, shopkeepers didn’t bother to run the card. This was apparently normal. Having your name was actually enough.

This would not fly at Target, Darcy was thinking. She was going to need to get a normal credit card for normal life. And the black amex was actually going to need to be when, oh, they needed to buy a new yacht or dinner in New York City.

Still, Loki needed a phone. It had to be done. And she needed to get off her parent’s contract, anyway. And that was the sum total of her internet shopping because how do to shop online without a credit card number? As it was, she had to call the customer service line to get it done and the guy on the other end didn’t believe her and had to call his manager.

Darcy had never once imagined that the fabled black amex didn’t actually have numbers on it. How much else had she never imagined? What else wasn’t she accounting for?

That was when Darcy knew she was in over her head. She shot off an email to her favorite professor who had done an interesting variety of things in her life, but who now chose to teach political strategy. She waited with bated breath for the reply.

What else was she missing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I totally asked my Friend Who Knows Everything and who at one point actually had a black amex in her name (they really don't have numbers, who knew?), tell me everything you know about ambassadors and setting up an embassy from scratch, and she just gave me a look. 'Could you be more specific?' she asked. 'I know a lot about ambassadors and embassies.' It was a good thing I was able to take notes for the next hour's download of information...


	10. Wherein Darcy learns much, and Loki toys with SHIELD.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The author’s good friend makes a cameo, Loki is amused by SHIELD, and Darcy tests the robustness of Loki’s illusions. And it turns out, they’re pretty robust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Independence Day, Americans! Have a Jotunn Crown Prince of Asgard!

 

> To: dlewis12@culver.edu
> 
> From: vdzost@culver.edu
> 
> Date: Thursday, July 14, 2011
> 
> Subject: Re: Hypothetical Question
> 
> Darcy,
> 
> It’s so wonderful to hear from you! I’m sorry to hear that you’re stuck in the middle of the no where in a strange and boring internship, but I think your self-directed project is admirable. Finish it well and I’ll help you polish it and submit it to a few journals, if you like. With mutants, superheroes and God-knows-what, we may need your thought piece in the near future. I’m sure Aliens are next, and I’d much prefer if they didn’t invade, but rather came in peace.
> 
> So, you need to do some reading. I’ve attached a document of URLs and a few books that I think you can whip through quite easily in the next week, but reading alone isn’t going to cut it. Here are a few things to consider that you’re going to have to find creative answers to:
> 
> -If there is only to be one ambassador, plus home world staff, (which makes sense, given your hypothetical) this is going to piss off the G8. Not sending at least eight different perfectly equal ambassadors will make the nations of earth feel like the backwater they are, compared to the home world. And believe me, none of the G8 will appreciate it. They are used to treating the developing nations as backwaters, and won’t like that card being dealt to them. The ambassador will have to at least have permanent staff in Washington, Bejing, and Berlin. But it’s still going to be ugly. There will be a lot of Under Secretaries with their noses bent out of shape. It will start with CNN and spread to FOX. It will be pure chaos. And you can’t get around it by having the ambassador move his residence every four months. Ask Scotland how it feels that their Queen moves her court to their country when she wants to go on vacation.
> 
> -Don’t recreate the incident with the Saudi Prince at the White House State Dinner. In the US, all ambassadors are seated by seniority, and as the newest ambassador to the US he had the least seniority, and was seated last, and in the worst place. He took it as a personal insult because he was a Prince, unlike everyone else in the room, and there was an international incident. Don’t be the liaison that misses the obvious.
> 
> -The point of diplomacy is always threefold: cultural, commercial, and defense. If we’re the backwater, everything but cultural is going to be sticky. Very, very sticky.
> 
> -Don’t forget to discuss how your alien is going to fund this without throwing the world economy into a tailspin.
> 
> -Don’t forget that any and every local staff that is hired is probably CIA. Or NSA. Spying on an ambassador is an act of war, as is any act of aggression toward the ambassador, which is why we have the concept of diplomatic immunity, but the same is not true for his or her staff or associates, including Consul Generals. Anyone but the actual ambassador is fair game.
> 
> -Don’t expect a warm welcome from the White House. No president in their right mind, regardless of which side of the aisle they’re from, is going to be happy about an alien living openly on earth, meddling, rather than keeping under wraps like they ought to be. Particularly if that alien is more advanced. That’s just embarrassing. Like every other ambassador, there will be an opportunity to present the credentials, have a meet and greet, a bit of a cocktail party, and then it’s get the hell out of my house. And it will probably be with the most recent batch of new ambassadors, so not even anything special, save a picture with the President.
> 
> -US rules indicate that an ambassador must be resident in in the capital - yes, within the actual bounds of D.C. - and if they are not, that is the end of their embassy to the US. I can’t wait to see what you do with that, Darcy. :)
> 
> That’s it for now. This is a wonderful thought exercise and I look forward to your summer thesis on the subject. If I think of anything else, I’ll send another email. If you have questions, do ask.
> 
> -VDZ

* * *

Loki had been listening to SHIELD’s ongoing conversation about him most of the night, save when he did sleep, and all day long. It was easy to do so and still attend to whatever was in front of him. The ease of it came partly from his physiology. The Aesir - or, no, perhaps it should be the Aesir and the Jotunn - could focus on a multiplicity of things. Humans, he noted, were much more single minded. Perhaps it was a by-product of everything happening so quickly here.

The other reason it was so easy for Loki to listen in was the fact that SHIELD was being _so very deceitful_. Listening in without his permission? Observing him with sight and sound and invading his privacy? Wanting even to hear what happened in his bedchamber? Very naughty, indeed. Each and every member of their six person crew was actively participating in the deceit and so Loki had unlimited access to each of their thoughts and was dutifully restraining the impish urge to meddle quite heavily. O, but they were a wonderful group of liars! And the lies they told to themselves were even more delicious, though in some cases, quite tragic.

Loki had a brief and passing thought about the company he kept. Perhaps he would have had a happier childhood if he had been naturally drawn to honest, straightforward and non-chaotic people, like Jack and Austin, rather than his history of deep comfort amongst liars and sycophants who, once he stopped manipulating them to keep them from betraying him, would leave him and move on. No, indeed. The deeply deceitful did not make for solid friends.

Loki knew that he had a designation as an oh-eight-four and he was almost certain that it had to do with their uncertainty concerning his origins. There had been some amusing discussion about whether or not he should still have such a designation, as they now knew him to be of Asgard. However, since they had no idea where or what Asgard was, Loki was still the oh-eight-four.

Loki also knew that he had been upgraded to vee-eye-pea status since the agent first came to speak with him last night, and Loki gathered that it meant they were going to be ever-so polite, at least in his presence. They still planned on ‘bugging’ the living quarters as soon as everyone was gone from the site.

Which was why Loki suggested dinner out at The Diner.

If he understood correctly, and he was fairly certain that he did, bugging meant that there would be observational devices planted within their quarters. And wouldn’t it be a fun game to see if he could find them all in ten minutes? And accidentally crush them?

To be truthful, Loki was playing a delicate and long game with SHIELD and he was glad they had shown up for it. He needed to reveal enough of his ability and intelligence to be eventually considered a valued and trusted ally, but not so much nor so quickly that he was seen as a dangerous liability, nor too little and too slowly that he was understood as a royal simpleton who could be managed and maneouvered as a pawn. And really, the longer SHIELD agents were lying to his face about himself, the clearer he could see, understand, and even manipulate their plans. Functioning at their present level of deception of course, he wouldn’t even need to be on Midgard to hear them. All the same, the longer they lied to him, the better chance he had at winning his game utterly and completely.

In fact, Loki reasoned, the only way this could go terribly wrong would be if SHIELD suddenly started being remarkably truthful, not only about him, but about everything they did. Really, Loki couldn’t have created such a perfect situation even if he had tried.

* * *

“Mischief, why are you smiling so much?” Darcy just couldn’t figure out what the hell he was laughing at in his head.

“Darcy,” he said in a mock-reproving tone that kind of made her want to be alone, and sucking his cock. Well, admittedly most of the time when he spoke she had that reaction. He continued on, like he couldn’t see that thought of hers, but she knew better. “I’m shocked that you think I’m not a naturally happy person.”

“You promised me I’d always be in on the joke,” she pointed out, one eyebrow awesomely arched.

“So I did,” he purred. He purred. He actually fucking purred, and he expected her not to say to hell with dinner? Then out of the corner of her eye she caught a little shard of green from his right hand as he held it close to his body.

“What did you just do, Chaos?” she asked quietly as Jane just shook her head on the other side of Loki. They were, after all, still walking down the street to dinner.

“Well, right now our conversation is shielded from observation, and those SHIELD agents observing us are watching a very amusing illusion. Currently, I’m describing several lascivious things I’ve been thinking about all day concerning your lovely person, Darcy, and Jane is getting very embarrassed and asking us to ‘grow up’ and talk about the weather. Ah, yes. They’re finding it suitably amusing, though I am beginning to look a bit of a rake in their eyes. I’ll have to balance that out later.”

“You can hear them?” breathed Jane in wonder.

Loki had a shit eating grin on his face and he threw back his head to laugh, just a bit. Yep. Darcy would totally do him in an alleyway. “That’s what’s been amusing me all day!” he crowed. “They are _such_ a delicious group of liars and fall so _entirely_ within my realm of awareness and influence. This really is going to be _so much fun_. They’re bugging our living and work areas even now.”

And, Darcy grabbed Jane before she could get very far.

“Jane, this will be delightful, I promise you!” Loki said, the grin contorting his whole face into pure joy.

_“They’re violating my constitutional rights!”_

“They’ve been listening to our conversations since yesterday afternoon, save anything said in our bedchambers,” Loki placidly pointed out.

“Bastards!” Jane spat out.

“You knew about this yesterday, Jane,” Darcy tried to point out in between hauling her boss around and shoving her back on track toward the diner.

“Yesterday! Yesterday I was… well… I guess I was kind of distracted yesterday. It’s been a very distracting week, you know,” Jane pointed out, much calmer now.

They were closing in on the diner and Darcy felt it was finally safe to let go of Boss Lady. “Do we need to stop talking about this stuff while we’re in there, or something? How does this work, Magic?”

Loki grinned down at her. “I am enjoying these names you call me. Do continue them. But no, I have firm control of the illusion. If you like, once you decide what you wish to order, tell me then say nothing to our waitress and watch her respond to the illusion. I’m told it is an interesting thing to witness for the first time.”

Interesting, nothing. It was completely bizarre. Darcy started to make faces, but the waitress did nothing. Jane giggled and Loki grinned. Finally Darcy got up and stood on her seat in the booth.

She cleared her throat.

“Excuse me! Can I have everyone’s attention?”

No one responded. Everyone continued eating.

“I’d like to make an announcement!”

No response. Jane had her head in her hands and was laughing quite hard, now. Loki was chuckling.

Darcy harumphed. “Fine,” she said. “I won’t tell you that my boyfriend gives really amazing head,” she said as she sat down again.

“La, la, la, la, la, la, la, I’m not listening!” Jane chanted.

* * *

As they were walking home from the diner, illusion still intact, and illusory-Loki declaiming some of the follies of his youth to an amused illusory-Darcy and illusory-Jane, Loki mused aloud.

“I believe I shall train with axes this evening. They are an impressive set of weapons, though not my strongest. Shall we allow SHIELD to watch?”

Darcy took a minute to respond. “Is there a good reason they shouldn’t?”

“I want them to underestimate me, but not grossly. I wish to walk just shy of the edge between powerful ally and dangerous liability.”

“Hmm. So you’re not going to share with them the full catalog of magic you can do any time soon, then?”

“Not any time soon, no. Though I do recognize that soon is relative in this realm.”

“Go for it. I look forward to hearing what they’ve got to say about it.”

“Excellent. I shall tell you all. Now, the axes are too much for the indoor space, even cleared, but I can provide a small amount of light for us out of doors, I think, without disturbing the neighbors. Perhaps on the side of the building opposite from town? There seems to be a wide open space, there. Would you ladies like to watch?”

“Yes!” both chorused, immediately. Darcy looked to Jane, who just shrugged.

“Am I allowed to wear my armor?”

“Mmmm… no,” Darcy replied, as if she actually weighed the question at all.

“I do not understand your fascination, Darcy,” he admitted ruefully.

Darcy gently nudged her shoulder into him as they walked arm in arm. “Well, maybe I can spell it out to you. You know, later.”

“I look forward to it, Darling,” he said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm a week into my crazy summer gig and so I'll be posting, at most, one chapter per week in July. Half of August will be vacation, and I really have no idea how much writing/editing/posting will occur during our travels, but we'll see. And after that, life should be returning to our regularly scheduled program. I'm hopeful that at that point updates will occur more than weekly.


	11. Wherein there are axes and a triune Loki.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki dances and it is clearly too much for Darcy to bear. The SHIELD agents rate Loki a ten for raw sex, but a six for finesse. If only they knew what was really going on...

Four minutes. It took him four minutes to locate and accidentally destroy all six bugs in their dwelling. He didn’t believe there was one in Jane’s, and told her so. But really, SHIELD needed to be a bit more creative in their placements. And also to make devices that didn’t leave a slight trace in his senses.

He had already told them the illusion would end when they reached their destination, and the ladies left him to his amusements for a moment while they freshened up after the meal. When he left through the back door, turning off lights as he went, they were just bringing around thin, low, light and apparently adjustable couches for them to lounge on while he trained. Did they truly see this as a spectator event?

He changed his clothes while still inside the building, and so when he walked into the darkness he could feel the cool of the air on his skin. It felt marvelous. A little ways out from his spectators, he walked a wide circle, perhaps a hundred feet in diameter, and dropped a softly glowing green orb every fifteen feet, twenty in total. As he walked he also marked the circle as the farthest point his training targets would stray, and the point beyond which his axes would return the store, should they miss their target.

The circle complete, he walked to the center and brought out his standard targets and began training. Darcy’s thoughts were distractions, as were the agents, but he welcomed them. He needed to train amid distractions, mental and otherwise, or he would not be able to use his skills when necessary. And he had trained far too long to give them up.

It amused Loki to find out that Darcy had no idea that throwing axes existed. Interesting. But even the agents were surprised. Though the agents were surprised by many things, and thoroughly impressed by his martial skill. Aaah, interesting. There was a master assassin amongst them and even he was impressed. That settled it Loki’s mind. They would not be allowed to see him train with knives, though he would do so every other day. Let them think him lackadaisical, or without the need to train daily. But he would keep his knives secret until such time as he might need the edge.

Finally finished with the tediousness of the stationary target practice, he coaxed them into movement and began again.

Darcy was fascinated by his musculature, which was nothing out of the ordinary. He’d always considered himself rather puny, but then most people were standing next to his brother. Loki supposed, with no other warriors present, he could cut a dashing figure. Ah, but soon Thor would show up.

He flung an axe with a bit more feeling. And the next. And the one after that.

Sooner than he liked he was at the end of his standard throwing training, and he seized the battle axe from the store with relish.

He crouched and sprang, twirled and swirled, hacked, thrashed and raged as if he, too, had the spirit of the bear screaming within him.

Damn Thor! Why must he ruin everything?

Darcy he trusted implicitly, but Thor? Around a woman who enjoyed Loki’s company more than his own? No. Loki had _no_ reason to trust his brother in such a scenario. It had ever rankled Thor’s pride, the few times Loki had caught a maiden’s eye first. And each time, Thor made his conquest.

Each.

Damn.

Time.

He grunted with the effort of a particular swing, fresh from a mid-air flip that always promised nausea but never delivered.

Thor could never give her what he could. Loki tried to take refuge in that thought. He might be slight, dark, bitter, and morose, but Thor was Aesir and only Aesir and for the first time in Loki’s life it seemed that it might actually be a hindrance. Thor could never satisfy her appetite. Loki may have nothing else, but at least he had that.

And oh, he would satisfy her appetite. And he would find a way, even when he was recovering from magical exhaustion. He would find a way to satisfy her. Perhaps he could seduce her with his voice? She seemed to enjoy when he said certain words in a certain timbre.

Thor had only one timbre. Boisterous. Thor would never be able to seduce Darcy with his voice, Loki thought savagely as he cut and sliced and dodged and spun, rolled and sprung, twisted and landed on his feet once more.

The targets stilled and fell into a line.

Panting, Loki shoved the battle axe back into into the store and retrieved the glaive.

“Holy shit!” Darcy exclaimed.

“What is that?” Jane asked.

He rolled the glaive across his body and heard Darcy lose her mind in lust. He didn’t understand it, but he would accept it, willingly.

“It’s a big fucking spear is what it is,” Darcy muttered.

“Not quite, Darling. This is the marriage of an axe and a quarterstaff. Tis my glaive. Tis a most amusing weapon with which to dance.”

And then he began and Loki realized that he might be ‘showing off’, just slightly. Darcy said she hated show offs, but not apparently at the moment. Apparently she wanted to ride this show off until her third orgasm hit.

Dancing with a staff - or glaive -  was something Thor never bothered to perfect, but Loki had always enjoyed it. He spun it around himself. He spun himself around it. He twirled. It twirled. He dodged. It darted. He flipped. It swiped. He jumped. It plunged. On and on the dance went around the circle. The targets winked out of existence, only to be replaced by others.

It thrilled Loki to know that she liked the play of light and shadow on his skin. She found him beautiful, exotic, powerful, and deeply, deeply masculine.

This was such a strange, new world he was inhabiting. The world of Darcy’s adoration was more jarring than Muspelheim, more beautiful than Alfheim, and he met new wonders at each turn. His heart soared and his head felt giddy, but a small quiet voice within him just shook its head in disappointment. Was he really naught but a lovesick fool? Does it even count as training if he only did it in order to arouse his lover?

He shook off the voice, but it left lingering traces of its dark essence in his mind.

Where would it end, he wondered? When would he find the limit of her love, of her comfort with him? Surely, it would come to pass. It had to. It had always done so. This could not continue for ever. He would anger her, or disappoint her and once the emotions cooled there would be a gulf between them. He had seen it with his parents, though they always eventually breached it. It took a time that terrified him as he considered years going by, barely speaking to the woman around whom his realm revolved.

No.

No, that is not how it would be. He and Darcy were different from Odin and Frigga. He would always be open with her. He would always consult her. They would attend to their disagreements and upsets early and often when they were still small and manageable, rather than wait until the weight of years pressed them into a diamond hard substance that cut as soon as it was held.

He jabbed and twisted, twirled and swung, rolled the glaive around his back and then out again with his left hand before crouching low and springing high once more, twisting in mid-air to avoid a shot and reach a target.

He would love her. His love would not be simply passion or adoration. It would be deeper, broader. He would love Darcy in ways that his father could never seem to love Frigga, nor his brother any woman.

Loki’s love for Darcy would find expression in his respect for her instinct, for her insight, for her intellect. He would love her in his choices with her, rather than for her. He would love her with the freedom and joy of his most vulnerable self, enticing her to bring out the same for him. He would love her by never, not ever lying to her.

Savagely he swung the glaive then planted the dull end in the ground and swung around the glaive. He flew and rolled, twisted and thrusted until one final flip to avoid a blow. He lashed out, striking the last target. He was still as he crouched on the ground, panting. His training was complete, for now.

Yes. Thor could have knocked them all out with one swing. Disabled everything in one blow. Odin, too.

But who would Thor be, now, without Mjolnir? Without the magic he liked to think he never used? And Odin slept - for how long this time?

Loki shoved his glaive back into the store, and rose gracefully from the crouch. He took a deep breath and looked out into the night, away from the town, away from his love, away into the desert. Another deep breath, and he heard one of the thin, light couches creak and moan, and then another.

“Oops, I think it’s time for me to go. See you kids tomorrow morning,” Loki was dimly aware of Jane saying as she picked up her couch and walked around the building.

_‘I think you know what I want, Loki. But do you realize that I want it right here, right now?’_

He twisted his torso to look around at her. He arched an eyebrow at her statement. The agents were watching. And commenting.

_‘I don’t care who’s watching. After that display, I would do you in front of the entire assembled population of Asgard.’_

He smirked at her, turning fully now to walk toward her in the dark night. Slowly he moved, knowing she liked the look of the faint green glow casting shadows over the contours of his body. He was teasing her, it was true. Apparently he was also teasing some SHIELD agents, but he cared less about that.

She might feel differently about putting on a display for the agents when she wasn’t lusting after him quite so intensely, and he had no wish for her to regret such an action. Then again, she was often lusting after him, so perhaps she never would live to regret it.

_‘You have no idea, do you? You have no real sense of how stunningly magnificent you are, do you?’_

He was starting to get the vaguest of senses, but it was still largely nonsensical. He shook his head slightly in answer to her, a bemused smile on his face.

She stepped up to him, finally reaching him and her arms wrapped around him. Her hands grasped at his shoulder blades. She moaned. She kissed him. Tongues, teeth, lips - aah, nails down the sides of his spine. He leaned in and grabbed her thighs, hoisting her up, wrapping her legs around his hips as he held her firmly. The SHIELD agents rated him a ten for raw sex appeal, but an six for finesse, as no words had passed between them. Let them think him a brute, for now. It suited his purposes.

He dimmed the lights and let them sink into the ground, to be used another night, and stepped out of the circle and back to their bedchamber.

He didn’t need to see where he was going. He kissed her and navigated quite sufficiently, kneading her bottom and coaxing further delicious moans from her lovely throat. When the door to their new bedchamber was shut, she spoke.

“Are we alone, now?”

“Always, my love. You may rely on the sanctity of our bedchamber. No one else will ever intrude.” O, and he meant it. In so many ways. Just the thought of it made him want to kill any who would dare to steal her from him, up to and most certainly including Thor. Frigga would forgive him eventually if the situation was fully explained to her, Loki was sure of it.

“Let me down.”

He did so immediately and watched as she sank to her knees, unlacing his breeches. He gasped as she licked and laved his staff. He suddenly found it much easier to ignore the SHIELD agents, even when they accidentally said his name. Apparently they wondered about the sudden silence, but Loki no longer cared.

_‘You dance with your glaive. I dance with mine.’_

And o, how she danced! Loki choked out a gasp and half staggered before he regained a more firm footing.

She sunk down on him. He gasped her name. He gasped many things, really. Undying devotion. Promises of bliss. Incoherent ravings, too, of a man much loved. His hands were in her hair, gently, so gently. Once and only once he looked down, because once Loki looked down, he was lost. Her lips formed the most perfect ring and as her eyes glanced up and her gaze caught his, he could feel it begin, the tightening, the preparation, the first of the night, but no, not the last.

Praise to all eternal, not the last. He would sate her. Yes. Completely. And no less important, she would sate him. _For the third night in a row._ Such a thing had only ever happened once in his life, and it had involved five elves. And his brother, actually, though Thor had made something of a show of merely wanting to watch. Loki understood his reticence now in a way he never could then.

He threw back his head and moaned as he came into the mouth of his very own beautiful, beloved, lusty Human. O, how he adored her!

After but a moment he held a hand out for her and she took it, rising to her feet. Their clothes were gone in an instant, across a chair across the room so she could find them later. He led her to the bed and laid her down. Her look was lazy and sloe eyed but she smiled as she said, “Blue, please.”

He shifted and her smile grew wider.

“Two more, please.”

Two corporeal versions of his pale form appeared, one on either side of the bed even as he remained at the foot of it.

“Continue,” she said quietly, closing her eyes and throwing her arms out to the side, each toward himself, or some versions thereof.

She filled his senses. All he saw was her. All he heard was her. Three tongues tasted her, suckling, tonguing, biting. She gasped, she moaned, but still she smiled.

“I am the luckiest woman in the entire fucking world. If anyone knew about this shit, Loki, everyone would want to be me.”

He felt her hands grab his heads as he had a mouth on each breast, suckling at her nipples. Even so, he sucked at her beautiful core and pushed her thighs over his shoulders. His hands were everywhere. Her bottom, holding her at a pleasing angle, her arms, scratching at the sensitive insides, her torso, rubbing and touching and scratching and soothing, over and over again. Six hands at his disposal, each one helping to turn his lusty human to a melted sauce.

O, and her melted sauce was all over his face. She was generous with her savory juices and he was more than satisfied with the result.

She came undone in his arms.

He crawled up her body, pinning her in on each side with his own pale forms until she was covered with Loki in every place, in every way. Pale hands reached down and pulled her thighs up, caressed them, held them in place, wrapped them around his cerulean blue back.

“You are so beautiful, Darcy,” he said from her left.

“You are the loveliest woman I’ve ever met,” he said from her right.

“And I want to spend the rest of my life worshipping your body,” he grated out from above her.

She gasped and he entered her, slowly, firmly, thoroughly. She was soaking with desire. He was slick and coated immediately upon entry and she clutched at him from within.

He moved in concert with himself, bringing her to her peak again, and once more again. They rested, then, and he lay still within her, pulsing to the beat of her heart.

“You have three cocks,” she accurately pointed out, somewhat tired, “but why is only one of them inside of me?”

“Why, indeed?” he asked of his wonderful partner.

“Take is slow and easy, Mischief. This is all brand new for me.”

He kissed her soundly. “If it hurts, tell me to wait. If you become scared, tell me to stop. Yes?”

She nodded in agreement.

He shifted around her. On her right, he pulled himself up until he was sitting at the head of the bed, her head in his lap.

“Oh, hello, there,” she said as she saw his straining cock, bobbing in front of her face.

“Hallo,” he murmured, from above her, at the head of the bed.

On top of her he shifted one of her legs down and his own over top, then rolled to her right, shifting her body carefully as he went, maintaining his position firmly embedded in the most succulent and superheated part of her, this blossoming flower she shared with him. He pulled the thigh over his body higher again, hooking his arm underneath it so his elbow was supporting her knee.

Behind her now, magically slicked fingers found her secret exit and proved it to be a sometimes entrance. Slowly, gently, fingertips slipped in and out again, further and further, now completely, now just at the rim, now two, and over again. In front and within her he pulsed, whispering of her beauty and grace. Above he stroked her hair as she idly licked his cock, whispering of his undying devotion to her. Behind her he prepared her with his fingers, nearly done, whispering of her generosity, her courage, her open mindedness and his appreciation.

“Loki,” she gasped around his cock, her lips brushing the length.

“Yes, Darling?” he queried in concert around her.

“I’m not doing this for you, you know. At least, I hadn’t planned it that way. I was actually doing this for me. And so you know, you’ve kind of ruined me for one-on-one cunnilingus. I’m probably going to need you three-at-a-time from now on. At least when you go down on me. Because, really, how can I settle for less when I know you could be loving on both the girls at once, even while your tongue is working magic on my pussy?”

“As you wish it, my darling one. I will, whenever I can.”

And then the sensations began to overwhelm him. A cold, blue staff sat waiting, pulsing, burning within her wet heat. The tip of a pale, warm staff was slowly sucked in and out of her mouth, her tongue swirling around the edge. And finally, the tip of his second pale, warm and increasingly hard staff popped into the tightest place he’d been since he’d tried this on himself centuries ago. This was much more pleasurable, though. Slowly, gently, he worked himself in as his blue arm held her open and steady for him.

He groaned in concert around her, shaking slightly, all of him. He could… yes, he could feel his own cocks, simultaneously within her. Blue cock felt pale cock slide in and seat itself fully. Pale cock felt blue cock pulse and twitch next to it through only the thin barriers between.

He’d only ever done this once before. The elven maids had wanted a repeat performance from him, but he’d been too embarrassed to acquies. Well, he wasn’t embarrassed, now.

“Are you well, Darcy?” he groaned out from in front of her.

“Mmmhmm,” she moaned out, contentedly slurping at his cock in a somewhat idle fashion. It was nothing like what she did to him when her focus was allowed to be pure, but Loki cared not at all.

“I-” he cut himself off with a groan, as just in that moment, Darcy clenched her muscles around both of his cocks seated deep within her. He shivered and shook but just barely refrained from giving into the urge to thrust spasmodically. He tried again to speak. “Darcy, once I begin to move, I shant last long at all. The sensation for me is too great, it-” he caught his breath. He was panting now. He pulsed within her and it set of a chain reaction of her own muscles tightening and he cried out.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” she asked and then slurped up his cock once again. The sound nearly undid him, but when she took him deeper than she had before, he cried out once more.

“May I come within you?” he gasped out.

_‘Of course you can. You always can. Stop asking weird questions and get on with the awesome orgy sex, already.’_

He adored her.

She sucked on him hard as he began to move within her, both cocks below, out and in once.

She moaned around his cock in her mouth and shivered, shifting against so much skin, and the clan lines, too. She clenched down on him hard as he seated himself once again. Her mind was a litany of adoration consisting only of his name.

Gently once more, out and in, and he growled in front of her and moaned above and behind her.

More firmly this time, out and in, and Loki was slowly losing his mind.

Once more quite firmly and every body screamed in pleasure.

And now, slow but hard thrusts inexorably drove him over the edge until he lost his rhythm. Hands in her hair, hands on her breasts, one arm holding her leg steady and one hand rubbing the point of her pleasure. But he was gone. He had only a moment more.

“Come for me, Darcy,” he said above her,

“Come for me, Darcy,” he said behind her,

“You must come now, Darcy!” he demanded in front of her, before all coherence left once more and he had nothing but growls and moans at his disposal.

She moaned around his cock as it emptied into her mouth.

He drove into her below, twitching, jerking, and when her mouth was finally free, she screamed his name.

“Oh, God, Loki! I’m so close. Please, please, please, a little more…” and she screamed again.

It was too late, and he was spent. But he would be damned if he left her wanting, especially after she accommodated him with such perfection. He shifted all around her, coming out from within her, his members spent and receding. Two pale bodies flanked hers and a blue one was seated with his head between her thighs. He pushed two long, chilled fingers into her core, twisted them amongst the slippery flesh and flexed until he found what he looked for and pressed. His cold lips latched onto her pleasure point and sucked, even as a pale hand pressed on her lower abdomen, pressing her onto his fingers more securely.

Her orgasm was music, and he kissed her beautiful lips, her face, her hair, held her gently in his arms as she came with her thighs over his shoulders and his face buried within her softest, most fragrant part.

When he was finished, he climbed back up and took the place on her left, vacated by a form no longer existing. She turned toward his blue form and fell asleep. He got up from behind her, pale limbs pulling the bedclothes up and tucking them around the two bodies. He was tired, as well. He bent over to kiss her, and then his senses were confined to just one body, once again. No longer a multiplicity of bodies, now just the one, Loki held his beautiful woman and fell blissfully asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeek! Squirrel_Stone made FANART! For this nifty little story I've been writing! You could blow me down with a feather (if I weren't already curled up in an armchair). Thank you so much! It makes me think just what kind of exclusive interview our favorite Silvertongued Mischief could spin, if he decided he wanted to have fun with it...
> 
> I'll get right on that.
> 
> Also: Thanks to the reviewer inkspottedtea, I can now provide you with some visuals as to what Loki's style with the glaive is a bit like. Two videos from youtube, for your perusal: https://youtu.be/2aWGuGzJibY and https://youtu.be/TBBXRQHKFcE Both are from the movie Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, and they are of the elven Prince Nuada. The first is the deleted scenes of him training, the second is a mashup of several of his fight scenes in the movie, though not all of them. Have fun! And thanks to inkspottedtea!


	12. Wherein alligators and hippos dance in Darcy's head.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start with the weather in Asgard at this time of year, and continue with a deal that Jane will mostly likely regret. Multiple times. Then shopping, and training amid distractions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am consistently in awe at the lovely reviews that people are leaving. Thank you! I'm so glad you're all enjoying the story. I'm really enjoying writing it!

“I have nothing to wear to your wedding,” Jane stated at breakfast.

“You can be cas,” Darcy said, abbreviating the word. “It’s cool.”

“I know it’s tiny and informal, but seriously, Darcy. I’m travelling to another planet to attend a royal wedding and all I have are jeans! It’s not cool. It’s the opposite of cool. My mother would never forgive me. No. I’m not saying I have to find a fascinator, but no. We have to go into Roswell. It’s the nearest mall. It’s not amazing, but at least I can get some not-jeans. And a haircut.”

“Sure. Okay. But just so you know, I think that’s kind of what tomorrow is about,” Darcy pointed out. Wasn’t Saturday supposed to be, like, the day of pampering and getting to know Frigga? Or something?

Jane sighed. “But wouldn’t it be great if they didn’t have to start from scratch?”

Darcy thought about that for a moment. It was an idea that had merit. “What’s the weather like in Asgard this time of year?” she asked Loki as he steadily made his way through his plate of scrambled eggs and toast.

“The same as it is always, fair, with clear skies. Perhaps a light breeze. Without being covered in cloth you might get chilled, but not so cold as to require fur or woollens, at least not the part of Asgard you will be in. The air is neither too dry, nor too humid.”

They both just looked at him. Jane said it.

“You don’t describe the temperature in terms of a numerical measurement on a fixed scale?”

“That would be…” he paused to find the word he wanted, Darcy supposed. “So impersonal.”

“It’s the weather. Does it need to be personal? And besides, it’s faster and more objective.”

“Everything is faster, here,” he mused again.

“Well, that’s fine,” Darcy said, changing the subject. “Do you mind making a day of it? Because I’ve been thinking that I need one or two more big-girl outfits.” And shoes. And another dress or two, because really - there was really just the one little black dress and she’d already worn that with Loki. More than one date-night outfit would be nice. Darcy briefly considered some sexy underwear, but decided to wait until she could get to a bigger mall than the one she knew the nearest metropolis boasted. Besides, the way Loki tended to take her clothes off, he’d only seen her underwear the one time. But a mani-pedi wouldn’t be bad.

“Do you need clothes?” Darcy asked, turning toward him. “I really have no idea what you keep in your interdimensional storage unit, aside from books and weapons.”

“Everything that is mine.”

Darcy blinked.

“I so want to know how that works,” Jane said, gesturing with her toast.

Darcy nodded slowly as she let that one sink in.

“So, do you need clothes?”

“I have formal wear appropriate to this period and country. You have seen my more casual clothing, and those in which I prefer to train, if my armor is barred from me,” he said, his glance intensifying momentarily. “Do you think I need more or different clothes?”

Black leather pants. He mostly liked to wear black leather pants and a variety of different sorts of shirts in white, green, black or gold. With black leather pants. Black leather pants was Loki-casual.

No. Loki didn’t really need any new outfits. Except perhaps a bathrobe and a very small speedo, because Darcy had plans for the hotels during their honeymoon.

He grinned at her and arched a brow.

“I see. Your wish is my command.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “If you guys weren’t so adorable, this might be tough to live with. But whatever. This is probably going to be really boring for you,” she said, her tone suddenly turning apologetic.

“Earth, boring? Surely you jest.”

“No, really. I mean, standing around with nothing to do but hold our stuff while we try on clothes.”

“May I speak with you while you do so?”

“Sure,” Darcy replied.

“Then the endeavor is immediately more amusing than standing for hours at my father’s court, waiting in silence to be called upon. And that is what I might be doing if I were not here.”

“Hours? Really?”

“Twas an excellent time to meditate, unless there was something that actually required my attention. But yes.”

Darcy was silent as she thought about what it might have been like for him. She really had very little frame of reference. There was nothing for it. More questions were called for.

More questions might be called for for quite some time.

She took a drink of orange juice and thought about where she wanted to start.

“Loki,” she addressed him.

He swallowed his mouthful and delicately wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Yes, Darcy?” His full attention was on her, and she realized he wasn’t going to continue eating. He was so damn polite. She loved it, but they had things to do today.

“Please keep eating, that’s fine. So anyway, you grew up in a palace with servants, right?”

He nodded and kept eating, per instruction.

“But I notice you are really comfortable roughing it, here with us. I mean, you did the dishes last night. You help me prep our meals, and this may just be the master of lies doing his thing, but it seems like you have a comfort level way beyond simple graciousness. I don’t get it.”

He finished his piece of toast. “The palace was always my home and it was good to return there, but by no means did I spend all of my days there. By the time I was one hundred and forty I was a sorcerer’s apprentice. Believe you me, the master did not show me any partiality. I wore the same rags, hauled the same water, slept on the same mats. Before that my mother trained me, but she loved me too much to give me the humbling experience she knew I would need to bear the responsibility of wielding the magic she knew I could. I had more power and control than the rest of my peers, but that didn’t help my humility at all. I’ve spent years of my life peeling root vegetables. Many, many years. It gave me a fine appreciation of the effort that goes into palatial comfort, and every meal I eat.”

“How long were you a sorcerer’s apprentice?” Darcy asked, entranced and yet incapable of not thinking of Fantasia. Alligators and hippos danced in her head.

“Two hundred and sixty years. We were all allowed to return to our homes for two weeks at harvest time, once a year. After my apprenticeship, I returned home for a short time and joined my brother’s training as a warrior - woefully weak and behind, as I was - and it only took a few years to convince my mother that I needed to continue my primary training, first. My father only agreed on the condition that whenever I was finished to my own satisfaction and had mastered sorcery that I would return to the palace and master the art of war, the use of every standard weapon, and the art of diplomacy, all to his satisfaction. I mastered magic in eight centuries and war and weapons together in one. DIplomacy only took a decade,” he said with a grin. “Odin was shocked, but, I think, pleased. And even time spent with Thor, particularly once we were older, was often spent adventuring. Which meant sleeping on the ground, hunting our dinner and fetching water. I like to think I endured it with the least amount of grumbling.”

They were clearing the table now.

“How long did it take Thor to master war, weapons and diplomacy?”

“Well, he was quite enthusiastic about the first two, but he had never bothered to discipline his mind, only his body. Even starting as young as he did, it took him several more centuries. And he still hasn’t mastered diplomacy. I continue to despair for the future of-” he caught himself and was quiet.

Darcy washed and he dried. Jane put the dishes away.

“There is something I have not yet had a chance to tell you both. I have promised my queen to do a thing to which I do not even slightly look forward. At some unknown interval after the wedding, my mother will be sending my brother to me, stripped of his title, bound of his magic, and barred from the use of Mjolnir. I am to find him some sort of honest work to which he must be accountable and in which he may develop humility, respect, or wisdom. Possibly all three. As the apprenticeship burns the dross from a young sorcerer in preparation for great responsibility, so my mother wishes this experience to be for Thor.”

Darcy’s brain went _blip_.

“Huh,” Jane said.

“Kay,” Darcy eventually managed to say in the most non-committal manner ever.

“As to the details, I am open to suggestion. He is not a complete numbskull and I am sure after a period of adjustment he will be amenable enough. He knows almost nothing of this culture, but he is not incapable of learning - he has learned the culture of other realms he has visited easily enough.”

“What you’re talking about doesn’t even sound like day laboring. It sounds like you are trying to get him a placement as an indentured servant,” Darcy pointed out, still sort of shocked.

Loki seemed to think about it for a moment. “Yes.”

Darcy’s brain ticked over for a minute.

No. Bad idea.

Well, maybe not totally a bad idea.

Loki would be able to keep an eye on him quite easily, without actually being his direct superior.

Hmm. But she’d have to sweeten the deal…

“Okay. So. I have an idea. And I’m pretty sure no one in the room is going to like it but me. But I swear it makes sense. So I want everyone’s promise to hear me out before you shout me down with fifty shades of no. Kay?”

Loki turned his head and looked at her, his brow furrowed. He nodded his assent. Jane leaned around Loki’s tall frame and gave Darcy an equally concerned look.

“I somehow feel like I’m going to regret this, but okay. I do reserve the right to yell ‘no’ at the top of my lungs when you’re finished, however.”

“Right. So. Okay. I thought of a position which, Loki, you would have to pay a certain amount to his new, um, employer to take him on, but he would have room and board. The skills required of him would be easy to learn in a week or two, and there would be someone available to train him. It would be close enough that you’d be able to keep your eye on him, Loki, but he wouldn’t be reporting to you - someone else would be his boss, tell him when he was out of line, that sort of thing. And the position is inherently humility-inducing, if not the other two. One out of three isn’t bad for a start, right?”

Loki nodded, his interest clear on his face.

“And you’d be okay, right, paying someone a modest amount to feed, house and clothe your brother and provide him what would probably be the world’s most gentle lesson in humility? And you’d be okay being near, without being the one to deliver the lessons, right?”

Loki stopped drying the dishes and turned to face her directly. “Yes,” he said emphatically, though it looked like it hurt him to say nothing else.

“And Jane, you could use more grant money, couldn’t you? And a replacement assistant for me once I’m done for the summer?”

Jane’s jaw dropped. Her eyes got wide and though she remained silent she gave Darcy a look of death.

Probably, Darcy rationalized, because she’d just put her boss in an impossible situation. On purpose. What Frigga wanted was unrealistic. Loki didn’t realize that short of selling his brother into slavery, it was going to be almost impossible to find such a situation for Thor, unless they called on their friends for help. On Austin’s construction site, Thor could be a danger. At Dad’s law office, Thor would be woefully incompetent. Aiden was no use and Mom was retired. But Jane was perfect. And she was partly perfect because she was desperate for adequate funding. Partly, because really, a trained monkey could do Darcy’s job, and Darcy was pretty sure that Thor was a monkey she could train. And mostly it was perfect because Jane would never actually say no to a request Loki would make because Loki was her ace in the hole in terms of understanding and building a space bridge.

Thor was going to be Jane’s next intern.

Not going to get her intern-cherry, though, Darcy thought with a grin she didn’t show. _‘Cause it’s mine!_

* * *

Loki could tell that his wiley Darcy had put Jane into a somewhat difficult situation, but Loki himself was in a somewhat difficult situation. He would not be forsworn - he would help Jane Foster regardless, and he would obey his queen - but he began to understand some of the circumstances of Jane’s future chaos. Her life would, at least for a time, be intertwined not only with his but with his brother’s. Loki could keep chaos at bay, if he chose. Thor might, if he tried - or so Loki always had thought - but he never did.

Would the two become lovers, or even friends? Would it be with them as it was with he and Darcy? Loki doubted it. Jane Foster was nothing like the sort of maiden Thor enjoyed. She was focused, intelligent, and dedicated to her work, among other fine qualities Thor would never be able to appreciate. Also, she was Human, and Thor would be unable to satisfy a lusty Human in the long term - stories of his sowing his wild oats on Midgard in his youth were of necessarily brief visits. Loki smirked slightly, now understanding why that was.

Who knew? Perhaps her association with Thor would eventually be a positive one, and combined with his sentiment and her contribution to the Nine Realms, she would be granted the right to an apple at harvest. What Jane Foster could do with several extra thousand years could equate to the chaos potential he felt from her. Perhaps.

At any rate, Loki could not know it now, and so decided to cease thinking upon it. She had agreed, and Darcy would be creating a formal document for them to sign later when they returned.

As they drove closer and closer to the larger town, Loki could feel his mood improve ever-so-slightly. He hadn’t been feeling upset before, but being close to epicenters of chaos always relaxed him and eventually recharged him, and the larger the city, the larger the epicenter - though being with Jane and Darcy was in and of itself a calming and rejuvenating experience.

Loki was quite looking forward to visiting the extraordinarily large cities - Tokyo, Delhi, Shanghai, New York City, Mexico City. There were so many of them. They were individually so much larger than even the entire populations of most of the other realms. So many people in such a small space. He could feel the chaos even from here.

Loki followed his friends throughout the day, held clothes, rendered opinions, held more clothes, held bags of clothes, astounded a restaurant’s staff at how much he could eat, held more clothes, and generally had a lovely time. He was informed twice that the gallery of shops they visited was really quite small and paltry, but Loki enjoyed himself nonetheless.

Finally they stopped back at The Salon where they had come at first to make appointments for care. Darcy and Jane both had their hair dressed. It was fascinating to watch, but he was not destined to watch for long. Soon enough he found himself getting his scalp washed and massaged before negotiating on the length to which his hair ought be cut. Darcy was lending helpful suggestions from a few seats over, but Jane disagreed with most of them.

He had, Loki could admit, not much of a preference for the style of his hair. So long as it was out of his way and off his collar, he was content. His hair could not be too short, or he could not make the magic tokens he would need to. But then, his hair grew quite quickly… He quickly calculated that it could be cut short now to no detriment of his magical plans. And so Darcy’s suggestions won the day and his hair was _quite_ short. On top it intentionally did not lay flat and was rather… well, _chaotic_. It was managed chaos, but then, most chaos was when he was paying attention to it.

Darcy quite enjoyed the effect his hair made and her thoughts tended toward sexual desire. Loki was coming to relish the effect he had on her. The clothes he wore, the tone he employed, the smiles he gave her, the stares they shared, even the weapons he wielded. Loki wondered. It might be that she would find it attractive if he simply read off one of her recipes. Loki considered that it wasn’t, perhaps, the clothes or hair or tone or weapons at all. Perhaps it might actually have been him that she was attracted to. It did seem that his every action - and even his stillness - drove her to distraction.

Loki quite liked driving Darcy to distraction. She was ever-so-delicious when enthralled with him. It was a heady power.

Still thinking his bawdy thoughts he cast an illusion over the lacing of his breeches so none but Darcy could see how thoroughly aroused he was. He considered shielding the truth from her as well, but it felt too much like lying.

He was coaxed into a strange chair that was attached to a pool of water. Too hot at first, they cooled it for him and when he put his feet in, the water was turbulent and frothy and the pulses against his feet and ankles felt delicious. And rather sexual. Or perhaps that was just his present frame of mind.

Loki laid his head back and meditated on Darcy, vaguely aware and responsive when he was asked to shift his feet or hands about. Her thoughts were a gentle caress in his mind, much sweeter to his senses than the SHIELD agents who had followed them about all day, whom he had largely ignored as they were being rather pedantic.

But Darcy…

Loki still marveled that such a woman was to be his for the rest of their lives. She was intellectually stimulating, emotionally marvelous, and sexually rapacious. How could he not be utterly devoted to such a woman?

By happenstance, he’d woken her last night, returning to their bed after his meditation. After she had ensnared him once more in her long limbed grasp, he fell into the sweetest dreamless sleep he could ever recall having. She woke before dawn and he awoke to the feeling of her hand stroking his stiffening staff, a moan on his lips. What followed was the sweet and delicious taking of his prone self by his young bride. She rode him with gentle and slow abandon and watching her from his warm and sleepy haze was better than the sweetest dream. He came more quickly than she. He knew his face told the tale of his upset, his shame, but she shushed him with a smile and clambered up his form until her delicious and leaking flower was presented to his mouth. She carefully lowered herself onto him, and he raised his arms to help steady her, holding her hips.

As Loki adjusted his position in the chair in The Salon, his breeches quite tight indeed, he considered that when he suffered from magical exhaustion, he could probably still arouse her with his voice and eat her thoroughly in that lovely position from this morning. He liked the idea _very much_.

That quandary settled in his mind, Loki ceased his meditations on Darcy as they were only leading him to base imaginings involving her mouth, his cock, a convenient illusion, and this very salon. He knew Darcy would not agree to fool Jane and he knew Jane would be too embarrassed to allow them to appear in such a way. Of course, Loki was also quite uncomfortable with Jane knowing the full extent of their intimacy, though Darcy seemed to have no such reservations. Instead, Loki meditated on chaos. It had long been his practice, when faced with unwanted situations, be they standing in Odin’s court for hours on end, bored to tears, peeling yet another bucket of root vegetables, or facing yet another unwanted stiffening of his length at an unfortunate place and time.

* * *

Darcy threw the first load of laundry into the small machine in the residential portion and decided to wash sheets and towels another day. By the time she came back into the larger room, it was totally cleared once more and Loki was dressed in just the loose linen pants, sans shirt. And he was totally in Downward Facing Dog position.

She blinked.

The God of Mischief knew yoga?

Well, shit. Knives and axes were all well and good, but Darcy could actually do yoga. Possibly not as well as Loki, but fuck it.

She ducked back into her - er, their - room and got her yoga mat out of the closet. Loki might not need one, but Darcy certainly did, at least on this concrete floor. She changed out of her shirt, shoes, and jeans and opted for soft, form-fitting yoga pants and a sports bra. She padded out, quiet in her bare feet. When Loki caught sight of her, he collapsed into a graceful heap, now facing her with legs crossed.

“Why, hello there. Come to keep me company, or offer distraction?”

She unfurled her mat with a flip. It had been more than a week or two since she had last done yoga and both she and the mat were rather stiff.

“Yes,” she answered to both.

She started out easy, with a slow and basic sun salutation and Loki matched her pace for pace and move for move. She focused on her breathing and her form. She was out of shape and there was a mutinous part of her brain that pointed out she could just be a spectator and watch him and his beautiful body twist, bend and contort into these poses. But to hell with that.

After doing several of the salutations, she led them both into several other poses until she hit her limit.

“That’s it for me,” she said, standing and dragging her mat over to the side of the room where two chairs stood. “But please feel free to continue. You know I like watching.”

He was, per usual, stunning. Several of the poses she didn’t even know the names of except to know that they required exceptional strength and balance, he did with ease.

Darcy idly wondered just how long he’d been practicing yoga. And just how many of Earth’s variety of cultures he was familiar with.

He ended, after some time, with a few moments in meditation. Darcy was almost surprised when he spoke.

“Shall I continue with my training, or would you prefer I come to our bedchamber now?”

His voice was dark and lovely and Darcy’s pussy felt like it had just sprung a leak. But if she waited, _it would be so much better_.

“Are you sure?” he asked, obviously having heard at least part of her thoughts.

She gave the question a moment’s consideration. Was there a reason he was hesitating? “Is it too distracting for you? Um, you know?”

“Actually, training amid distraction is quite good for me. I only seek to be considerate of you. I am not used to being so interesting to anyone, and though I know you are not bored watching me, it seems both too good to be true, and somehow unnatural.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him and gave him a stern look. “It is neither, and you know it. So hop to it and do it. And if it’s distraction you want, distraction is what you’ll get. ...Actually,” she said, remembering. “Hold that thought for like, a minute and a half. Let me go switch the laundry.”

She ran to switch the loads and was back, sitting on her yoga mat in what she could have sworn was no time flat.

“Watching you run with no shirt on is particularly distracting. Thank you.”

“No problem. Now, get on with it. Well… hmm...” she said, pausing to think again.

“Yes, darling?” His head was tipped to one side and he gave her an indulgent look.

“Would you think me a total waffling flake if I asked you to train with your armor on, just once? I’m really curious. But I also like this stripped-down-Loki as the new normal.”

He chuckled as green shimmered around his body. Boots. Leather. Hard metal bits that probably each had an individual name. Straps she was rather curious about. A leather trench coat like thing that Darcy would totally ask to borrow if it weren’t, apparently, part of his armor. And the weird hat, which was kind of growing on her. There had to be a story behind the hat. When they had time for a really long, rambly and twisty tale with lots of side commentary, she would ask. Maybe on that road trip honeymoon.

Definitely a road trip question.

Darcy watched as Loki stood in full armor, his profile to her, throwing small blades at stationary targets. She was so entranced by the fact that he was throwing them to the side, _without looking at the targets_ , and hitting them all, every time, that she didn’t even remember to be intentionally distracting until he called her on it.

She immediately shucked her sports bra and saw an eyebrow quirk. Loki still hit every target without looking at them.

Darcy idly played with herself as the targets began to move and Loki turned to face them, still whipping knives at targets, still hitting each one on the first try. Rather than watching his beautiful naked back with the shifting muscles and green tree tattoo, what Darcy saw was that lovely leather trench coat, so she fantasized about that, instead.

She was wearing it. Only it. And Loki was taking her against the nearest wall. Her legs were looped around his body - one around his waist and one hoisted higher up, supported by his arm. She imagined the thrusting, the moaning, the groaning, and the Asgardian dirty talk. Oh yes, she was always up for a little Asgardian dirty talk. She was pretty sure that if Shakespeare ever talked dirty to his wife or lover, that’s what he sounded like. Before Loki, that might not have been a turn on, but it sure as hell was now. She pinched and pulled her nipples, palming the bottoms of her breasts with both hands.

Suddenly in her head, the fantasy changed to sucking his cock. Oh yes. This was good, too. She happened to be pretty good at sucking cock, she thought. Her mouth was big enough that she didn’t hurt her jaw in the very attempt of it, and it was wildly satisfying to give that gift to someone she loved as much as Loki.

She was getting wetter and wetter. Shifting on the mat a little, she decided that one hand in her pants would be a good move, now. She fantasized about kneeling in front of him as he stood before her in full armor, sucking him off.

Hmm. Maybe there needed to be two Lokis, because she could almost feel him stretching her wide, pulsing in her, even while her tongue worked him, too.

Yep. She could totally feel him and damn she had a good imagination. Her core clenched randomly, and then she remembered to do it on purpose. Darcy had read somewhere that even when nothing was inside the vagina, clenching the kegels was a good way to build toward orgasm.

She was panting now, and Loki was still training, having shifted finally to the third phase, with the long battle daggers. Which were very, very obviously phallic, now that she thought about it. Two battle daggers. Two horns on his head.

Very obviously she needed two Lokis right now. That was obvious, right?

Her eyes fluttered shut and she could just feel him. Except that he was across the room. But other than that, the fantasy was the most erotic and surreal of her life.

She moaned. She could feel her pussy, even empty as it was, it somehow felt full. Her mouth, even though it was shut, it somehow also felt open and surrounding his shaft.

Her eyes sprang open in shock when suddenly she was naked. No more yoga pants. No more underwear. And Loki was… well, naked. And holy shit, was he aroused. And stalking toward her, eyes ablaze.

Clearly training amid distraction meant that sometimes distraction won. Well, that’s a chink in his armor, duly noted, she thought.

She spread her legs for him just in time, moving her hand out of herself. He was on top of her before she could blink, plunging straight into her and pounding relentlessly. She couldn’t stop moaning and he didn’t stop growling. She was close, which was just as well.

Loki got one of his arms under her legs, lifting it so he could get just a bit deeper, holding himself up with the other arm. Muscles rippled and Darcy moaned more, watching him, touching his sweat slicked body. His face was as intense as she had ever seen it. All of the ways in which he was so eloquent during much of sex were absent. In fact, all higher brain functions seemed to be entirely absent. There was only this - the rawness of their desire, the explosiveness of their coupling.

Darcy came first.

Loki came hard.

He bit the join of her neck and shoulder, growls eventually making way for soft, whining pants when he half-collapsed on top of her.

The entire room was silent for two minutes.

“How,” Loki panted.

“How,” he tried again.

“ _How_ ,” he said once more, with emphasis, “in the Nine Realms,” he paused to catch his breath. “Are you able,” another pause. “To perform,” panting. “Sex magic?”

Darcy’s brain went _blip_.


	13. Wherein Loki explains and Jane finds her calm center.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki explains what on Earth Darcy was doing to so distract him in Chapter Twelve, and then there are all the feels. After this we are introduced to the inner workings of Jane’s mind. Which is a fun, fun, fun place to be right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I'm back. July didn't eat my brain, after all! I hope y'all will love this chapter as much as I do. :) Have fun!

It was amusing to watch Loki become so _utterly_ undone. Darcy had _never_ seen him quite like this, and despite the fact that she’d known him for less than a week, it seemed already like it had been years, somehow.

The sex was amazing, of course. Sex with Loki was just plain good. So far, the only blip on the radar was that first time when she’d accidentally referenced Odin. Oops.

But watching her eloquent, elegant, yes, even princely fiance stammer out the same word over and over again, while panting, in the midst of an obvious brain reboot was… really fucking funny, actually.

“How… how… how… in the nine realms… are you able… to perform… sex magic?”

Darcy’s brain went _blip_.

Darcy’s brain rebooted.

Darcy’s brain recounted what had happened.

Darcy and Loki were doing yoga. Loki was mildly enjoying Darcy’s state of dress, or lack thereof. Loki did more yoga. Darcy did more laundry. Some meditation occurred somewhere in there. Loki transitioned to knife training, wearing full armor. Darcy watched. There might have been a smidgeon of fantastical masterbatory funtimes. Loki seemed not to notice. Until he did. Darcy’s clothes went to somewhere in some universe or other. Smokin’ hot, fast floor sex commenced. At no point was there anything magical, unless you count the presence of the Crown Prince himself, who was pretty fucking magical, in every sense of the phrase.

And also, Darcy was willing to admit, her boobs. Which were so fantastic as to be maybe magical.

After much reasoned reflection about her ability to perform sex magic, boobs aside, Darcy made her response.

“Huh?”

And then she gasped, because Loki was getting hard again inside of her, and now, yes, growling.

He stayed stock still, above and within her. Darcy couldn’t help the involuntary spasm of her core muscles, all around him. Loki hissed in response, his eyes narrowing momentarily.

Did she mention that Loki was getting really hard, _really fast_?

Darcy’s eyes went wide as Loki began to speak, holding himself quiet and still within her.

“Darcy,” he said, his voice dark and low, “I cannot take you to task for lying to me, because I know very well now that you have no idea what you have done. So I shall tell you instead,” he said, his voice softening now as he addressed her in between light kisses, “my sweet, young, innocent, beguiling, bewitching, and powerful bride. I shall tell you all.”

His cock was back to its full operating size and Darcy was panting and trying not to wiggle. She did actually want to know what he was going to say. Of course, she also wanted the talky-talky portion of this moment to be over. Unless he wanted to talk her into another orgasm, which would have been okay, too.

Loki smirked at her, probably catching everything in her head. He rotated his hips ever-so-slightly and Darcy shivered. Without trying to move any other muscle, she gripped him from within. He gasped, then stilled within her once more. He smiled at her again and Darcy loved the way it crinkled the corners of his eyes.

“You have performed Seduction at Distance,” he said softly,  “and quite well might I add. Imaginatively, too, toward the end.” He pulsed inside of her, punctuating his statement.

 _Seduction at Distance._ That sounded like it had merit. So, was that her rockstar grade fantasy during taco time?

He gasped out a quick laugh that transformed his face into pure joy. Loki kissed her briefly, his tongue dipping in just for a moment before he pulled back again. He continued his explanation in an intimate whisper.

“It usually is performed slowly, gently, mutually and culminates in joint masturbation that, as you have mentioned previously, takes the edge off, so that the couple in question may then continue to have sex for many hours hence.” Loki paused in his explanation in order to lick her jaw and nibble on her ear. “As I see, however, it can also be used as something quite different. I do hope you will save all of your fantasies for me, or else there could be some very awkward moments in our future. Actually, if you don’t save such fantasies for our private time, we could have some very awkward moments.”

Darcy’s head spun. She was taking his lesson in and appreciating the information, but then he said… Why was he even asking her to not fantasize about other guys? Where did that come from?

He continued on, and Darcy forgot to wonder if he’d heard her, and she forgot to be annoyed as his slow and sultry words went straight from her ear to all the tingly bits.

“I could feel your mouth around my cock, sucking, sucking, sucking, as if it were your only dream to do so.”

Darcy’s eyes widened. Seriously?

“But I didn’t miss a single target. Not one, Darcy. My staff was hard as stone, and it was stone that was as deep inside your throat as I could go, deeper than I have ever been, in truth, but I kept my focus.”

Dude. How? Darcy’s was stunned. He could actually keep on with perfect accuracy during target practice _while she was sort of sucking his cock?_

Holy fuck. Shit got so real around Loki that he left it real in his wake.

 _You are marrying a man who has one thousand twenty-five years more experience than you do,_ a voice inside her head pointed out wryly. _Why are you consistently surprised when he can do unimaginable feats of awesomeness? Perhaps if you started being surprised when he can’t do something, or do it well, you would spend less time rebooting your brain, you twenty-something nitwit._

Loki hissed, pulled out of her and plunged back in.

“None of that, darling. Have I your undivided attention once more? Because I’m just now about to explain the most interesting part of the story, where the intrepid twenty-something takes her older and wiser groom utterly by surprise and causes his brain to reboot, as it were.”

Well, he had her attention. Not quite undivided, though. Sometimes the cruel voice in her head seemed to make some very good points, even if she never had spoken them aloud. Still, she yearned to hear what he had to say with an intensity that felt like her body craving sleep after an all-nighter.

He kissed her lips, just her lips, softly and gently, ranging his tongue around the surface of them and even when she opened them in invitation, kept to the outside for now. When he paused, he pulled back slightly and she could see his eyes clearly, the gorgeous, mesmerizing grass green of them. His voice was soft and dark, as it had been all throughout his explanation.

“It was only when I was _also_ buried to my hips in the dripping heart of your desire that my focus began to crack and eventually shatter. It was too much, and I delayed as long as I could, lying to myself that it was nothing. But it isn’t. It is what only you and I can share, my sweet girl. You gave me back the gift I had thought only to give you. That exquisite sensation that you can give only to me. You have no idea how utterly overwhelming it is to be experiencing the overlay of one organ being in two different carnal situations. Only I can share that with you, Darcy,” he said with a sudden, possessive gleam almost like anger in his eyes.

Somehow, somewhere in his explanation, it changed from comforting her to staking his claim… Thor, she realized. He’s still worried about her reaction to Thor.

He continued as if he didn’t hear, though. His voice was still dark and soft, but there was something steely beneath. His insecurity, maybe.

“You had seduced me well, and it was time for you to claim your prize. Did you like your prize, Darcy, my love?”

His voice… it really was like some dark, liquid, vocal version of sex, and the little bit of insecurity-based possessiveness wasn’t the drawback Darcy might have imagined, though it needed addressing. Again. Probably for a while going forward, really. And Darcy was reminded again that 1046 he might be, but perfect he was not. Time for a different tack.

She clenched her muscles around him and wondered how much of this she’d be able to say before the sensation was all too much. She wasn’t a millennia-old Jotunn male and really, all of this major emotional exposition during sex wasn’t the most natural thing in the world for her.

“Yes, I did. Thanks. But, look. I admit it. Like you didn’t know. But yes. I totally wanted to ride you into the sunset, and maybe for a week or two straight afterwards, and all because you looked like the latest Tumblr eye-candy, and you talk like a wet dream. And your smile could fell armies. And your laugh makes me want to have your babies. And also, just for the record, you do seem to exude some kind of raw come-have-sex-with-me vibe. I’m pretty sure when we go public your gifs are going to break the Internet and I’m going to get hate mail. So, okay. I admit it. Like I said to Jane the other day, I am, in fact, banging the most stunningly beautiful and wickedly intelligent man either one of us is likely to ever meet.”

Loki looked stunned, and Darcy couldn’t tell why. It’s not like any of this was actually news to him. It wasn’t like he probably hadn’t overheard it the first time she said it. And if he didn’t have a functional memory the size of the Google Cloud, she’d be awfully surprised about it.

...And he probably wasn’t getting the cultural references, but it was what she needed to say, and how she needed to say it. She continued on, lying in the main room, sandwiched between her fiance and her yoga mat.

“You’re really fuck-me-now gorgeous. But that’s not why I’m with you now. That’s not why I’m marrying you. It’s not why my Dad likes you. It’s not why Jane will literally do anything you ask her to do, up to and I’m pretty sure including learning to stand on her head and count backward from ten in French. You know. If you really needed that. Hell, I’d do that if you needed me to. Not that I can stand on my head. Or speak French. But I can learn.

“But, anyway...

“I don’t know what the future holds, not even slightly, but I can tell you this - yours is the only pretty face I care about. If The Doctor himself showed up right now and said, ‘Come with me if you want to live,’ _**I’d stay here and take my chances with you.**_ ”

The first of his tears fell on her cheek. Darcy tightened her hold on his waist, clenching her thighs.

“So, _okay_. We’ve established that Thor is pretty. When I finally meet him, I’ll be able to report just where on your scale of Blindingly Beautiful Manflesh he actually falls. But I’m telling you this, mister, and you’d better never doubt me: Yours is the first and last pretty face I’m _falling_ for. And the first and last Prince of Asgard I’ll be taking to my bed. Or my yoga mat. And I know that this is weird and new for you, and it will take some time to sink in and seem real. But do you really think any other man has inspired me to randomly do sex magic, for heaven’s sake? I can guarantee no previous boyfriends reported any mysterious sex appeal. I may be doing it, but seriously, you’re inspiring it.”

The tears were silently falling on her, rolling down the sides of her face, just under her ears and into her hair. She clenched around him again.

“I love you, Loki of Asgard. And I don’t understand how you can cry and stay hard at the same time. But I love you all the same.”

He laughed through his tears.

“Can we haz some orgasms now?” Darcy asked.

And there were no more words for some time. There was just the beauty of his sinewy and strong body thrusting into hers, reaching, reaching and finally achieving her release, and his.

The room was quiet as they lay together, Loki half collapsed on top of Darcy. He was still nominally propped up on his elbows, but with his torso sagging between his shoulder blades. It was an amount of his weight she could live with, at least in the short term. And heck, in the short term, she quite liked feeling his weight press her down without, you know, crushing her.

“I’m not going to leave you, Loki. Not when I’ve just found you. And I know that’s a new kind of normal for you and you’re not used to it yet, so I’ll just keep saying it. And when Thor gets here, you’ll be able to see it for yourself. You are more than I could have ever hoped for. You’re the grand prize in the jackpot.”

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered next to her ear.

Darcy snorted.

“Whatever. If you were perfect, do you really think you’d be interested in me at all? You’d probably need to find, like, a young, hip, non-nun Mother Teresa, or something.”

And it was Loki’s turn to snort. Apparently he knew who that was.

He raised his head and looked into her eyes, even as he became soft again and slipped out of her. “My sweetest Darcy, I know how it will be. You will be stronger with me and I with you. We will be more together than we could ever be, apart. You do not see it now, but this is how it works when two partners love and respect each other, when each brings out the best in the other. That is what the future holds for us. And when I… when I am able to think rationally, I do not worry about Thor or any other man captivating your attention. I certainly have no concerns about your maturity or level of experience as compared to my own. Your current inexperience seems tempered by your instincts and insights. Wisdom will come to you in time, and meanwhile your sense of humor appeals to me. And your candor…

“Your candor is to me a gift without price, my sweetest darling. Words fail me. Truly.” After a moment he tried again. Words never really failed him for long, Darcy didn’t think. “For someone who finds such comfort and refreshment among liars, it is perhaps not surprising that it took me this long to discover that a liar is not someone I wish to take to my bed, nor as my wife, nor to hold me as the darkness and cold take a grip on my mind, to whisper the truth to me as I struggle with the same old lies I have always told myself. This is the priceless gift you give me, and you give it without judgment. For this alone, my darling, I would give you all that I am and all that I have, and it would still be too little.”

Darcy wrapped her legs around him again, and tightened the grip of her arms.

“I love you, Loki.” I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you, forever. And I want to become the woman you think I am.

“You already are,” he whispered. “Deep inside. It is only a matter of peeling away the outer layers. Which you are already doing, my darling.”

* * *

“Are you sure you’ve got the map?” Jane asked Loki, her mind whirling. “I mean, you can’t drive the truck back. Because you can’t drive. But we’ll lock it. I mean, it’s fine. We are fifty miles from anywhere. And in this case anywhere is Puente Antiguo. Which isn’t much of anywhere. But her family doesn’t know how to get out here without the map. Should I have written down the longitude and latitude? Oh my gosh, I’m so nervous. Darcy, you really don’t think anyone will take it, do you? The truck, I mean? And do you think I should have worn a skirt? I should have asked you more questions about proper attire, Loki. Oh my gosh, what is your mother-in-law going to think of your flaky boss?”

“Jane! Seriously. Chillax. And I think at this point we’re becoming actual friends. So, I’m not your intern today, and you’re not my boss today. You’re just a friend, and my very favorite astrophysicist. And you’re coming along to lend moral support and gawk at the technologies.”

“Jane, let us pause for a moment, here,” Loki said, and stopped walking.

They were a few hundred feet from the site where she and Darcy had found him four days ago. They’d left the truck behind, almost a quarter of a mile, and it was a beautiful morning to go and visit another planet. She paused with the happy couple - the happy and obviously sated couple, and holy cow did they have a lot of sex, and last night Jane realized she’d left the Q&A she was going to review next to her computer, but whoh! they were totally having sex on Darcy’s yoga mat _right there in the middle of everything,_ so obviously, you know, Jane didn’t go in, and really, she was getting a lot more sleep since part of her work space was functionally off limits during standard sleep hours, and possibly now that was an okay thing since she’d sort of picked up an honest-to-god patron and she was no longer racing the clock to fulfill her granting guidelines, and she’d actually been wondering lately if maybe she could get enough funding from Asgard - negotiations were still in progress between her and Loki, mostly because she couldn’t quite figure out how much she could reasonably ask for - but maybe she could go entirely off that particular grid, the academic one, maybe leave her position at Culver, because she hadn’t gotten tenure yet anyway, and really, it was a longshot as no one respected her work, and really, now maybe she could just say fuck all that, goodness, she really shouldn’t be swearing in her head, because really that just led to swearing out loud, but maybe she didn’t need to be in the academic grind, you know? Publish or perish worked really well when the journals would actually publish you. But, now... Everything was seriously changing now. With just what she’d started to get from Loki already, a whole new world was opening up before her. Magic! _**MAGIC**_! It was honest-to-god real, and all of the laws of physics were turning out to be, you know, _guidelines_. Like Newtonian physics as compared to the quantum variety. Good up until a certain point, and then everything turns on its head. And sure. Astrophysics was her focus, but seriously now, she was a _scientist_ first, and an astrophysicist as a second, admittedly favorite speciality. But science was the art of observation and the search for understanding how the world around you actually worked. Figure out the rules, and then you can use the rules to do what you want to do. And Loki had been slowly and patiently explaining, as well as he could when language failed them both as they went into concepts that whatever translations spells he was using didn’t have words for, that magic was just sufficiently advanced versions of what they were doing now.

So, take illusions, right? When Loki cast an illusion, he was somehow broadcasting a signal that convinced your rods and cones that they were taking in something different than they would without that signal. He never bothered to create olfactory illusions, or really, anything other than visual ones, since he mostly worked with anthropods who were largely visual creatures. He could do other sorts of illusions, but he only needed that when he was hunting (because of course he could actually go out and kill his own dinner, on top of everything else the man could do), and it had been a while. So really, what your rods and cones took in was a whole lot more subjective than we’d previously thought. Calls into question a lot, doesn’t it? Could other natural phenomena, such as heightened emotion, cause us to actually see something different than what was occurring? Did it in some way figure into to documented differences in eyewitness reports? What about stress? And really, rods and cones were just the beginning.

 _Every single thing Jane had ever assumed in her life and her studies needed to be revisited. Right, exactly now._ And was one lifetime going to be enough? Well, at least she would never, ever be bored as she _systematically redefined all known laws and theories of physics, biology, chemistry and common sense._

It was a big job. She’d need help. Probably a lot of help. And probably a lot of funding. Like, really, a lot of funding. The Einstein-Rosen Bridge research would always take a special place in Jane’s heart, her own particularly wonderful pet project, but the issue at hand was _so much bigger than even faster-than-light travel_. That was just one so-called impossibility. What was at stake was a complete redefinition of what was actually possible. To figure out the rules of possibility and probability, to actual begin to define, or, no, maybe _realize_ that there was no such thing as impossible anymore, just currently unknown at this level of theoretical math, it was, it was...

Jane had never, not ever been this excited in her _entire life_.

This was the end of the Universe as humanity currently understood it, and it was the beginning of something entirely, totally, completely different. Jane was at the biggest cutting edge of science since the natural philosophers started observing the world around them and started seeing that it reacted in predictable ways.

The rules of the game were about to change for _Homo sapiens_. And Loki was the ultimate gamechanger.

_And he was her **patron**._

Honestly, if Jane died right now, right this very instant, she would die a completely happy woman, having already had the beginning glimpses to how the Universe _really worked._

_**Everything was changing and Jane was at the very epicenter, the event horizon!** _

She was just buzzing! She could practically lift off right now under her own power she had so much extra energy! Gosh, but she really needed to be calmer, just right now. Because she did need to make a good impression on Loki’s mother. Because of funding. And also for Darcy’s sake. And wow, seriously - someone upstairs loved her, making Darcy the only applicant for her internship. Jane seriously owed Darcy absolutely anything she wanted, ever, until the day she died, up to and including her firstborn, should she ever actually have one. Small price to pay. And if they ended up friends because of this, instead of supervisor-intern?  A friend who didn’t secretly think that her current obsession would pass in time? A friend who totally understood her and didn’t judge her for her enthusiasm? That would be just peachy in Jane’s book.

Book. _Sweet Mother of God! Think of the books she was going to author!_

Jane could feel her heart racing again. _Holy shitballs!_ She was going to need an assistant just dedicated to helping her get the books out. The first one could even just be the glorified transcript of the Q &A between her and Loki, co-authored, of course. And then others would follow that one up. Eventually there would be a series systematically addressing every branch of science, a beginning, a primer for the next level of scientific understanding. Something that generations of people on Earth would rely upon.

_Holy shitballs!_

Jane’s head was buzzing so completely she forgot to censor herself, but then Loki spoke and her attention snapped to him.

“Close your eyes,” he said quietly. She immediately snapped them shut. “We have all the time we need to do everything that must be done, and right now, you need to find your calm center.” His voice was so calming. But there was so much to think about!

“Right now there is nothing more important than finding your calm center,” he said gently. And, okay, wow. His voice was like, yeah. Hypnotic, ish. Was this meditation? She’d never actually tried it before. She’d had a boyfriend, way back, who’d been into leading others in it, but he didn’t seem to do much of it himself. All the same, and without much thinking about it, she took in a deep breath. Loki wasn’t like that, though. Like ex number two. He practiced what he preached. Man meditated daily.

“That’s right. Take a deep breath.” She took another one. “Nice and even, nice and deep. Deeply in, and deeply out. Slowly inhale. Slowly exhale. Keep on taking your deep breaths. That’s right.”

He was quiet for a moment, but Jane hardly noticed, taking more deep breaths than she had in the last six months. This was… nice.

“In your mind’s eye, Jane, there may be much chaos, but there is also a pinpoint of bright, white light. It is right in the center. Do you see it, Jane? Nod your head if you see it.”

She nodded. It was tiny. She’d never noticed it before. And come to think of it, her mind was total chaos. Swirling ideas, lots of different thoughts that led to such interesting places, after all, every single assumption she’d ever made would have to be systematically--

“Deep breaths, Jane. Don’t neglect your breathing.”

She focused, again. Breathing! Breathing was good. In, out. In, out. In, out. She could totally do this deep breathing thing, if Loki thought it was important.

“That white light is cool and comforting. It’s happiness, Jane. It’s calm happiness. It is your calm center, and you can always find it, no matter where you are, no matter what you’re doing.”

“It’s so far away,” she said, realizing belatedly how sad her voice sounded.

“Then let’s bring it closer. There is an unbreakable filament that connects that pinpoint of light right to the heart of you. Take hold of the filament that connects it to you and pull. Pull gently on the filament and bring it closer. Take a deep breath and when you exhale, relax and pull it closer. Can you see it grow larger, Jane?”

She nodded. In her mind's eye she was reeling the filament in as if she held her father’s old fishing rod. Tension and slack, tension and slack, Jane reeled and reeled with her breath.

He continued to speak, slowly and gently. “Every time you exhale, bring it closer. As it becomes larger and closer, the filament becomes a cord, and soon a rope. As it becomes larger and closer, it’s so much easier to be calm, so much easier to be happy. All of the things you worry about don’t matter so much. Everything will happen in the perfect time. Everything will be remembered. Everything will flow smoothly. Everything will get done. And you can be calm and happy. Soon the white light is all around you, cool and soothing, and it’s so easy to be happy.

“Are you happy, Jane?”

A shiver ran through her entire body just before she started giggling. Wow. This was meditation? Her ex had it all wrong! Oh, yeah. This was her new happy place and Jane was so going to visit it more often.

“You are now standing in the midst of your calm center. It is no longer far away. Here you will be happy. Here you will be observant. Here you will be productive. Here you will make more intuitive leaps, and more accurately. Here you will take less personally. No matter what disappointments life may offer you, from this calm center you can take them in stride and return stronger than before. And the next time you find yourself very far from your own center, all you need do is look up and find the pinpoint of light within you, and draw it towards your mind. That’s all you ever need to do. And you’ll be reminded to find your calm center, to draw it toward you, to stand in the midst of it whenever anyone asks you, ‘Are you happy, Jane?’”

She giggled again.

“So I ask you, are you happy, Jane?”

She grinned and nodded, exhaling deeply and feeling her shoulders droop in relaxation. “Yes,” she said on a happy moan.

“Then our work here is done. You may open your eyes, when you are ready to do so.”

Jane looked out and around the desert with new eyes. Happy eyes. Calm eyes. Shit, she had not been this calm in… well, well before any part of her academic life. In fact, a certain recreational plant may have been involved. But this was better. She took another deep breath in and out. She saw Darcy smiling at her without judgment. She saw Loki looking calm and peaceful and just slightly happy.

Come to think of it, Loki always seemed to look like a more contained version of how Jane herself felt, right now. Except when he and Darcy were exchanging heated looks and they thought she didn’t notice. But other than that.

“Are you happy, Loki?” she asked.

His easy smile blossomed from his calm and peaceful demeanor, as if it had always been there, just not quite visible. “I am, thank you.”

They walked the last bit in happy quiet. They all stopped in the center of the marked circle that Loki had been meditating in days ago.

“Before we go, I have three questions for you both. First, may I have your permission to cast a minor enchantment on you to ease your first time traveling on the bifrost? Without it, I fear that nausea may overcome you, as it does most on their first excursion. The body finds it necessarily disconcerting.”

Both Darcy and Jane nodded their assent.

“Excellent. I shall remove the enchantment after we arrive, and it is unlikely you will need it a second time.”

Loki put his hand to Darcy’s forehead and drew a squiggle with his thumb, and then he had his thumb on Jane’s forehead, too. It was over quickly, and Jane felt nothing, which was a little disappointing. Shouldn’t she have sensed something? She had so many questions! Still, she took a deep breath and went back to her brand spanking new happy place, and decided to fill it with filing cabinets, to keep all of her questions in, so she didn’t forget any. Jane filed this one under ‘Magic: Performed on individuals’ and the subheading, ‘Individual's sensation at casting’.

“Second, there is an enchantment to allow you to understand and be understood when you speak. May I?”

They both nodded and he cast it, one after another. Again, nothing. She filed it, too. Other questions popped into her mind as well. Did the spell change the words that came out of your mouth, or your comprehension of the other’s words? Or both? Or neither? She filed these questions under ‘Magic: Cognition’ and, ‘Magic: Language’.

Loki continued on.

“Third, if one is travelling the bifrost in an experienced manner, it is as if one is flying quite quickly and horizontally across the rainbow bridge, going forward head first towards one’s destination. Continuing in such a manner would mean hitting the ground of the next realm, head first. As most prefer to land on their feet, a delicate maneuver must take place just before touching down. Until you feel comfortable with it, would you allow myself or one of the guards to guide you by holding you tightly? Yes, Darcy,” he said, obviously responding to some unspoken thing said between them, using their mystical, magical, wish-I-knew-how-the-hell-it-worked connection. (Filed under ‘Magic: Cognition’ and ‘Magic: Telepathy’ and also ‘Magic: Darcy & Loki’.) “I know you have no objection for yourself, but I would not wish to take liberties with Jane.”

“That’s fine,” Jane said, idly curious about just how much could be filed in that ‘Magic: Darcy & Loki’ folder, and wondering if she’d ever be close enough friends with Darcy to get her to dish about it.

She watched as Loki gathered up Darcy to his right and asked her to put her arms around his neck and shoulders, leaving his right arm to hold her tightly around her torso. He looked at her next.

“Jane,” he said, his left arm open wide. “If you’ll place your arms around my waist and hold on tightly, I shall wrap my arm around you as well.”

Oooh, a little awkward, but it was in the name of science! And magic! Also, Loki sort of smelled nice. And by ‘sort of nice’, Jane’s rebellious mind really meant ‘delicious’. And possibly also, ‘dead sexy’, but she couldn’t be sure and didn’t actually want to investigate the issue too far. First because he was her patron. Second, because he was thoroughly in love with Darcy. Third, because Darcy was thoroughly in love with him. Three excellent reasons to stop this itty bitty crush right in its tracks and move the heck on to the awesomeness that her life was going to be, even if Loki was taken.

Mostly, Jane didn’t bother thinking about it all. But, um, he’d never actually crushed her up against his (rock hard) body before. Oh, dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear… Calm center. Calm center. _Calm center, dammit!_

Jane watched as Loki looked up into the atmosphere, and addressed it.

“We are ready, Heimdall.”

She didn’t blink, but the light was faster, even if she had.

Rushing wind. A pulling, pulling, pulling, like gravity, but up. Or was it sideways? Had they reached terminal velocity? Would terminal velocity even come into play when travelling via a wormhole? Regardless, how on Earth would they land safely, at their current speed?

How on Earth. That was funny, actually. They weren’t on Earth anymore!

Screaming. Laughing. Who was doing that? Was it her? No. Jane checked and it was not her screaming. Must be Darcy.

The view was amazing. Mostly white, with colors streaming in. Why? Why would a wormhole be colorful, like a rainbow? But it does explain why Loki called it the rainbow bridge. It was kind of bridgey. And kind of rainbowy. Hence, rainbow bridge. Jane filed it under ‘Einstein-Rosen Bridge: Experience of, during travel’.

A flash of gold.

Bodies twisting.

Feet touching down hard, but not too hard.

Jane took a deep breath and saw things. She heard things, too. There were people. And gold. The room was round. There was a very large man in a very large hat with a very large sword. Standing on her own, now. A hand at her forehead. Someone she knew. What was his name? She filed it under ‘People I Know: Names I’ve forgotten’.

Someone talking. Talking, talking, talking. Jane stared at the walls. They were fascinating. Gold. Or an alloy? Pretty.

Talking, talking, talking.

A hand at her forehead again.

Fingers snapped in front of her face and Jane lost her laser focus on the walls, which admittedly were still interesting.

“What?” she asked, when everyone was still staring at her twenty seconds later.

“How was your journey, Jane Foster?” Loki asked, solicitously.

“Quick. And fascinating. I have a lot of questions to ask you later, when we have time. But I don’t think I’ll forget any of them. And thanks for the guided meditation, back there. Super useful.”

“Do you realize you turned into a complete space cadet for like, three minutes after we landed?” Darcy asked, snarkily.

Jane blinked. Her eyes darted around the room in consternation, and then back at Darcy. She filed it under, ‘Einstein-Rosen Bridge: Experience of, during travel’. Finally she looked at Loki. “I want to ask you about that, too, but later.”

Loki smiled at her, obviously amused, and oh, hell. He really was a stunningly beautiful man and she _really should not be thinking these thoughts._

 _Lalalalalalalalala!_ Jane sang in her head. Did she need to get a boyfriend or something? No. No time. Maybe a vibrator. Yeah. Definitely. When the lovebirds went off on their honeymoon, she was totally ordering one online. Maybe two.

Happily Jane was aided in her attempt to think about, really, anything other than the succulent crown prince, by the presence of another sweeping into the chamber.

“Loki!” The voice was warm and matronly and full of affection. Jane turned around to see the most serenely beautiful older woman she’d ever laid actual eyes on.

“Hello, Mother,” he responded, and Jane watched him walk with incredible grace (he always walked with incredible grace, like a panther, dark and sinuous, and gah! stop thinking these thoughts, Jane!) over to the woman and embrace her warmly.

Introductions were made and Jane was vaguely aware of Darcy’s discomfort, but there was nothing she could do at the moment to be supportive, so she paid attention to the room they were in - the observatory, as she remembered - and noted the structure. Beyond geodesic, it was downright spherical and Jane wondered if it might actually be a sphere, with a tangent floor part way up the interior. A large room, perhaps forty feet in diameter, it had a two step dias in the exact center, with some sort of metal thing rising from it. Was it the control mechanism? How did it work? There were no obvious levers, or buttons. But obviously the giant guy with the abnormally large sword was involved.

Loki had a quiet word with this mother as Darcy came to stand by her.

“You okay, Jane?” she asked quietly, the back of one of her fingers brushing lightly and quickly against Jane’s forearm.

Gosh. When was the last time someone touched her on purpose, outside of a handshake, outside of Loki’s entirely-platonic-with-her-permission-in-front-of-his-fiancee-but-holy-shit-anyway embrace? The most recent ex, maybe. Weren’t there studies that showed humans needed more physical contact than the occasional handshake? She couldn’t remember who the researchers were, or the year, but Jane was certain she’d come across an extract of it at some point. Maybe she should get a cat, or something. Still, she was okay. She just needed a couple of vibrators and a cat. And about eighteen grad students to order around. Also, some funding. And by ‘some’ she really meant 'boatloads'.

Jane grinned up at Darcy and nodded silently. Actually, everything was going to be fine. She could get a couple of vibrators and a cat. And grad students, probably. And probably boatloads of funding, too, even if she had to start out small and work her way up. There was time!

“You worried me, there.”

Jane smiled at Darcy but Loki came back before anything else could be said. She watched as the most romantic man she would never, ever marry took up her new friend’s right hand in both of his, kissed her knuckles and whispered his goodbyes. He bowed to Jane, wished them both a lovely and restful day and promised to see them in the evening.

Jane watched as he walked to the other side of the room and nodded to the giant man in golden armor - with, oh hey, golden eyes. (Golden eyes. Who has golden eyes? Then again, who has grass green eyes like His Royal Majesty?) Said man in gold shoved his oversized phallic compensator into the top of the metal thing rising from the dais, which suddenly seemed rather vulvic, really. Then there was metallic shifting and whirring from all around the spherical room… and then Jane watched as Loki lept into of a freshly created wormhole, like he’d been doing it all his life.

Which he probably had.

Damn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's curious, Loki's guided meditation is a good one for home use (it's not just magic). And if any of you Harry Potter fans have read Yudkowski's Methods of Rationality, then Jane's mental chatter will have been quite familiar. :) Anywhoozle, I hope you liked the chapter! Send love!


	14. Wherein daughters are met and plans are made.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack goes to visit his and Frigga’s visit her. Also, Loki is making plans again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, there! Thanks for all the lovely reviews! It's wonderful to hear everyone's reactions to the chapters as they go up. I read them all out to my husband, who also takes great joy in what you have to say. Thanks for the love!

Jack waited for his eldest child to come back to the physician’s on-call room. The head nurse had been very clear that she would return, and likely within the next thirty minutes, but certainly within the next hour.

Aiden did not know that he was here. Well, not yet. She was under the impression that merely telling her father that she was on-call overnight would put him off enough to leave her alone. It wasn’t.

There were two tickets to Roswell in their names for a flight that left two hours after her shift ended, as well as a hotel reservation for her, and the earliest flights back the next day. Jack would come back with his daughter, drive her back to work so she could sleep as much as possible. But she would be coming to Darcy’s wedding.

She would, and she was about to find that out.

The door opened, and an annoyed sigh huffed through the room.

“Excuse me,” said his daughter in an angry tone, obviously not looking at him clearly nor recognizing him, “this room is for the on-call doct-- _Dad_?”

Jack crossed his legs and sat back, his hands clasped in his lap. “Hello, dear. Long time no return my voice mail.”

“Dad? What are you doing in Texas?”

“I’m here to see you. Obviously. How are you doing? You seem well, if a little tired. You’re certainly not giving off that exhausted vibe that you used to in college, pulling all nighters.”

His shamed daughter glanced around the room - anywhere but her father’s eyes - and admitted, “I have been able to get some sleep. I can sleep just about anywhere at this point, if I need to,” she continued.

“That is very good to hear. You’ll be able to sleep on the plane. And in the car. I’ll go with you. You won’t have to worry about anything. I’ve already checked with your supervisor. You have enough time to do it.”

She paled. “Dad! You went to my _supervisor_? Why are you still treating me like a child?”

Jack remained calm. “When you act like an adult, I treat you as one.” He left the rest unsaid.

“And what about Darcy? You think she _ever_ acts like an adult? Are you kidding me? This is Darcy we’re talking about. And this wedding out of the blue is just further evidence of her completely juvenile behavior!” Aiden was pacing, clearly angry enough to spit vitriol.

Jack nodded. His tone was even and calm when he spoke. “I was worried about the very same thing, Aiden. So I talked to her. Even when out to see her, just like I’ve come out to see you. I needed to know if she had lost her mind. Turns out she hasn’t. But I wouldn't have ever known that if I’d just jumped to conclusions, if I hadn’t spoken with her.”

Aiden just snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Darcy really wants you to come to the wedding. But she doesn’t want to have to convince you to come to the wedding. She wants you to come for the right reasons: because you love her, support her, and approve of her, even if she confuses the hell out of you.”

Aiden rolled her eyes again, still pacing.

“I, on the other hand, don’t give a shit about the right reasons. I just want you to come to your sister’s wedding.”

Aiden blinked and was obviously taken aback at Jack’s use of profanity.

“She won’t let me tell you who she’s marrying, because she wants you to come for the right reasons. And I’ve given my word that I won’t tell you who she’s marrying. So I’m going to tell you other things, things you would know if you had called your sister back and agreed to come.”

Aiden sighed the sigh of the much put upon. “I can see I need more coffee for this conversation.” She busied herself across the room, but Jack knew she was still listening. He leaned back in his chair and put his hands in his pockets.

“After the wedding, your sister’s title won’t be Mrs. It will be Her Royal Highness, Princess Darcy.”

The coffee carafe shattered on the floor. Jack continued.

“The wedding isn’t actually in New Mexico. Or on Earth.” He waited a bit for it to sink in. The silence was beautiful.

Aiden slowly turned around, her face registering her shock. She stared at her father for a very long moment in silence. “You’re not kidding.” It wasn’t a question.

“Your sister’s new Porsche was delivered this morning.”

Aiden’s eyes went wide.

“You’ve been invited to the most exclusive, private, intimate and Royal wedding in the Universe, and by your silence you’ve told your sister to fuck off.” Jack continued without pausing. “Did you know that the Queen invited Darcy to bring you along this morning for a day of pampering and girl-bonding with her? Darcy knew you’d say no, and couldn’t stand to be rejected by you - again - and so she invited her boss instead. Her _boss_ , Aiden. A perfectly nice woman - PhD, Astrophysics - but it should have been you. Her boss naturally agreed. Possibly because she’s an astrophysicist, and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for her. But also because she knows that Darcy is worth the effort. So you lost that one before you even knew it began. But you have another opportunity, Aiden. But maybe just one more. Because Darcy’s life has just gotten very, very complicated. And very busy. Busier than yours. And very shortly she’s literally not going to have time to play games with you.

“This train is leaving the station, Aiden. This may really be your last chance to get onboard and have any kind of relationship with Darcy. I know the two of you are as different as night and day. I’m not saying you need to be best friends. But she’s turning into a fascinating young woman, and I really think you’d like the person she’s becoming. I think you _could_ be friends. But you have to meet her halfway. And what you’re doing now? This isn’t even close to halfway.”

Aiden staggered to the cot in the room and sat down heavily. The expression on her face was pained.

“I thought… I thought she… I mean, she _has_  been flaky in the past, Dad!”

“You’re not wrong,” Jack replied, his voice one of compassion and understanding. He knew his daughters. He knew how annoying they could both be, when the mood struck them.

“I didn’t mean to be such a bitch, I just didn’t have time for her shit,” she said, her voice nearly a whine.

“I understand, sweetheart. That’s why I’m here. You couldn’t see the consequence of your actions, and Darcy was so upset with your rejection that she was content to let you have enough rope to hang yourself.”

Aiden swallowed that down. Jack wondered just how bitter a pill it was.

“But… why is this so sudden, Dad? I mean, are you sure he’s not taking advantage of her?”

“He comes from a vastly different culture, sweetheart, for all that he looks like a Hollywood heartthrob. We discussed this briefly, he and I. He finds it bizarre that we have such long engagements. In his world, an engagement longer than two months indicates cold feet. And while less than a week is brief, even for him, there are political ramifications, other things out of his control he had to consider. In marrying Darcy quickly, he’s also offering her protection and status that she’s going to need. There will be a state wedding later on, when the time is right.”

Aiden nodded blankly. Eventually she said, “I didn’t… I didn’t mean…”

“I know, sweetheart. We can talk more in a minute. But why don’t you text Darcy? Apologize for the radio silence and tell her you’ll be there with bells on? And later on I’ll go to your apartment and pack a bag for you. We’ll be leaving straight from the hospital as soon as your shift is over.” He knew the message wouldn’t reach Darcy, as she had already left with Jane, but that wasn’t the point. Darcy would see the message later, and Aiden needed to go halfway right now.

Aiden pulled out her phone and dutifully texted her little sister. When she was done she flopped back on the cot.

“When did Darcy grow up? How did I miss that?”

“You and your mother, both. I’m not sure, but I suspect that you were so busy being annoyed with her that you missed the tell-tale signs. And I suspect that she was so used to being dismissed by you - and her mother, to be honest - that she never bothered to act any differently, at least around you. And so you both missed out. But just to be clear, Darcy is holding out an olive branch to you. And while I’m not at liberty to explain how it could work, I can tell you that if you want to have a relationship with Darcy, it is going to be easier than ever to manage.”

“Is all of this secrecy really necessary?”

“I made a promise to your sister.”

“Yes, and you’ve totally held to the letter of it while blithely ignoring the essence of it.”

“What can I say? I had my own agenda. But I haven’t broken my word. I haven’t said anything at all about my new son-in-law.”

“You’ve mentioned he’s handsome, and inferred he’s an alien prince from outer space.”

“Damn.” Jack chuckled. “So I did. Well, I’ll leave it at that, shall I?”

Aiden groaned. “Oh, come on. What’s he like?”

Jack sighed. What could he tell her? He was still trying to keep his promise to Darcy. “I like him. I think he’s a good man. Good sense of humor. He’s intelligent, but also seems to have common sense. He’s wiser than he looks. He’s desperately in love with your sister. He won over Austin in under an hour.”

Aiden threw one arm over her eyes and groaned. “God! Where on earth did she find him?”

Jack chuckled again. “He was meditating in the middle of the desert, waiting for her boss to show up. Apparently, your little sister sat down and introduced herself, and that was more or less all it took. They were engaged by four the next morning. I’ll grant you, he does work fast, but personally, I’d much rather she be his princess than his concubine. I’m sure the check-out rags would just eat that up. Not that they won’t already, and when they go public in a few months, well, that will be the end of your sister’s privacy. And ours, I suppose.”

Aiden snorted. “I suppose you’d be pissed if I did an exclusive tell all and shared the pictures of Darcy running through the sprinkler in the front yard, naked, aged three?”

Jack laughed. “Please restrain yourself. I don’t want your mother to have a heart attack. But I have a feeling the press will only be a slight annoyance.”

“Oh?” Aiden asked, from her continued prone position on the cot.

“I couldn’t possibly comment why, so you can imagine who will manage to make it only a slight annoyance.”

“Does the man have a name?”

“Of course he does! What a question,” Jack said, prevaricating.

“Fine, fine. Is he really an alien prince from outer space who looks completely human?”

“If I say yes, will you tell Darcy on me?”

Aiden snorted. “Okay, hypothetically speaking, if a guy proposed to Darcy, would he have to be an alien from outer space?”

“Hypothetically speaking?” Jack said with a smile.

“Yes. Hypothetically speaking. Pure conjecture. Not a shred of whatever it is you can’t say.”

“Well, since you asked a hypothetical question, I think it’s safe to say that at this point that Darcy would hypothetically settle for nothing less than the crown prince of an entire planet. Which rules out Earth. And means that, hypothetically speaking, my own worst fears of her coming back home and flipping burgers were completely unfounded. In this hypothetical scenario, she would also get to work in her field, which is another plus over flipping burgers. And there is a chance she’ll be cleaning out her bedroom, and her section of the attic sometime in the next year. Which would make your mother happy. If it happens. Because of the hypothetical nature of this imaginary situation.”

Aiden giggled. It had been awhile since he heard his oldest child giggle. Always so serious, Aiden, always taking responsibility for everyone and everything. It was a good sound.

Jack glanced at his watch. It was nearly ten in the morning, and their flight was at one in the afternoon. There was just enough time. “Sweetheart, why don’t you give me your keys and I’ll go pack a bag for you. Which door do you want me wait at when I return?”

Aiden gave him directions and told him which outfit she wanted to be able to wear, with which shoes and accessories. He was just about to take his leave when Aiden’s phone chimed. She looked at it and began a response. “It’s Darcy. No, wait. It’s… Loki? His name is _Loki_?”

Cat’s out of the bag now...

“He says, ‘So glad you changed your mind. Darcy is already away, making herself ready, but I’m sure she’ll be quite pleased to see you present this evening. Do give my regards to Jack. Your new brother, Loki.’ What kind of a name is Loki?”

An appropriate one, Jack thought to himself as he shrugged to his daughter.

* * *

Cellular telephones were fascinating things. There was no such device on Asgard, but Loki’s mind was churning with the possibilities. Darcy had spent some time sharing all she knew about the essence of their function, and then she introduced him to an Internet Site known as Wikipedia which he had been contemplating ever since.

Cellular telephones could happen on Asgard. Magecraft was more than capable of providing the hand-held devices and the network structure that supported their function. Perhaps not the games, but certainly the vocal and textual communicative aspects of the device.

Innovative uses of magic were not always smiled upon by the Royal College of Sorceresses, but Frigga would support him and perhaps he could convince several of the younger mages to join him on Midgard and expose them personally to the technology, they themselves would see the usefulness and begin to work on it with him.

And there was always Telark. Loki thought briefly of his old and somewhat adventurous friend and fellow sorcerer. Telark would come.

Loki pulled quill and parchment from storage and began to write several letters which he would have delivered in the evening. He began with the letter to his mother.

* * *

 

Darcy and Jane were swept out of the Observatory by the Queen. Standing just on the other side of the entrance, Darcy listened to her soon to be mother-in-law speak. Her voice in person was even softer, gentler, kinder and somehow grander than in the Asgard’s Magic Skype.

“Another time, my darlings, you shall both come to see the beauties and wonders of the Realm Eternal, and your family too, sweet Darcy, and Loki shall lead you. But that time is sadly not to be today. There is far too much to do, to say and be said for you to be able to properly take in our ways and customs, our food and landscapes, our music, art, and battle. You will forgive me, I hope, for eschewing even the conventions of travel for the ease of magic. My son has told me that life on your realm travels at an exceedingly fast pace, so I trust you will not be offended if this day does as well?”

Darcy shook her head, mute. And anyway, how could one woman sound so elegant?

“Excellent, then. We shall accomplish the work of a week in a single day, and such a day it shall be! Dr. Foster, if you’ll be so kind as to take my hand. My daughter,” she said turning her head to face Darcy and holding her hand out. Darcy’s stomach bottomed out with the title, ‘my daughter’ but she took her hand anyway.

Just like with Loki, there was a little tug and a little disorientation. This time Darcy’s ears also popped and she wondered if they’d changed altitude.

“Whoh,” Jane said quietly, and Darcy could only imagine what the scientist was thinking about faster-than-light travel over short distances. And how she wanted to be able to understand it. That was actually sort of Jane’s response to everything these days, but Darcy couldn’t blame her.

The Queen released their hands and indicated the door that they stood in front of, flanked by two guards in gold plate armor with very large swords and very large funny hats. Helmets, Darcy’s mind corrected.

“Lady Darcy,” the Queen began in a less intimate tone than she had used outside of the Observatory, “this is my son’s suite of rooms, which you will now share with him. Within we have the first business we must do today for both of you: measurements.”

The guards opened the doors and no fewer than thirty men and women within turned to face them. They were silent. And in two lines. As one, they put their right fist, closed, over their heart and went to one knee. All heads were bowed. Darcy felt a little lightheaded. It was one thing to talk about being part of a monarchy. It was a totally different thing to see a day in the life of the head of state.

And then, it was a whirlwind.

Darcy felt like Harry Potter being measured for his school robes and his wand. It’s possible that even the space between her nostrils was measured - she wouldn’t want to bet against it having happened. She was vaguely aware of her mother-in-law lounging on a couch and nomming on some quality nosh. Over and over again, it seemed, she was measured and remeasured, and Jane was in the same boat. All this for one dress? Asgard was seriously thorough. It was really the only thing Darcy could think about, as everything else swirled around her. A few times she had thought to make a wry comment to Jane, but always she was distracted by the next thing.

It might have only been a half hour later when they all left and Darcy and Jane sank down gratefully onto nearby couches and tried out some of the fruit and cheese. Jane looked like she was still in her happy place, and though the meditation was one Darcy was going to insist Loki do again, for her, maybe repeatedly, there was nothing happy about the mental state Darcy was in just at present.

It wasn’t as if anything was actually wrong, of course. Nothing bad had happened. Darcy just felt really out of her depth. Really, she was just a middle-income girl from the suburbs. She hadn’t even graduated college, yet. And there was nothing, absolute nothing in her life (not even the phase of reading Regency romances back in high school) that remotely prepared her for becoming the citizen of an alien planet, an ambassador of their culture, or - wait for it - royalty of any sort.

What on earth had she gotten herself into?

_Not on Earth anymore, Dorothy!_ the head of her Itty-Bitty Shitty Committee extolled.

What was that meditation again? A light? A white light? Darcy couldn’t actually remember the details and for a brief moment she almost wanted to cry. Porsches and full bank accounts were all fun and games until you had to go and write the position statement on how to deal with alien royalty sending the youngest son as an ambassador. Or, you know, be fitted for your wedding dress.

For a brief and fleeting moment, Darcy really wished that Loki was here. He would understand.

“It can be overwhelming, I know,” her mother-in-law said softly.

Darcy looked up and blinked owlishly at her.

“When I was not long past my own majority, I came here the week before my wedding to Odin for the same sort of preparations we will do for you today. I am not Aesir, you see. Did Loki tell you? I am of the sister realm, Vanaheim. Tis truly a beautiful place with many treasures, but it is not the Realm Eternal, which every Aesir will be quick to inform you, should you chance to ask. I was not used to such luxury as this. My family was not particularly wealthy, though we were not poor. And of course I spent my apprentice years as all sorceresses do. But I suited their purposes and it was a fair match. I grew to love my husband in time. But when I arrived? I was… terrified. And he was a frightening man to a woman such as I was, until I had learned my own strength.

“But this is not quite your situation, my dear. You are, with Loki, an excellent pair, very well suited and you have chosen him for yourself. And he, you for himself. And I could not be more pleased for you both. I can see in his eyes already that he loves you beyond all reason. Beyond, even, all measure. What that my older son would find so good a woman as you.

“So eat,” she said, beckoning Darcy to the miniature banquet laid before her. “Eat and let us take a moment to pause and reflect before we continue on. It is true that there is much to do, but there is always a bit of time to spare.”

Darcy nodded and looked to the food. Everything was vaguely familiar without anything being exactly the same as on Earth. Would any of it make her sick? Well, that would be horrible. She tried not to think of it as she ate a piece of fruit, and then another.

Darcy was vaguely aware that Frigga was engaging Jane in conversation about science and magic, but Darcy was just trying to focus on her breathing.

Everything was going to be fine. She wasn’t even sure why she was so upset, except that she obviously seemed to be.

Okay, Darcy, she said to herself, using her usual, upbeat pep-talk inner tone. You can do this. It’s one day. And this is the only time you’ll have to deal with Asgard without Loki next to you to hold your hand and put it in perspective. At least until you’re completely ready to fly from the nest, so to speak. So take a couple of deep breaths and buck up, girl-o. You’re just nervous. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be nervous. This is entirely new and you’ve got no frame of reference except Loki himself, who is looking more and more like a chameleon who seamlessly fits into whatever situation he finds himself in. You are not a chameleon, you are a Darcy, but that’s okay. It’s okay to be a Darcy. Being a Darcy is great.

She took a few more pieces of fruit and nibbled on them.

Darcy tuned in briefly to check on Jane, but her friend was ecstatically describing something to Frigga and Darcy really wasn’t in a place to give a shit. Which was harsh. And she judged herself just a little bit for it. And then she moved on.

Darcy focused on her breathing. This was going to be a great day. So what if it had a rocky start? This was going to be a great day. Frigga was a great woman and was turning out to be pretty BAMF, all things considered. She’d taken the entire day off from whatever other responsibilities she had, just to be with them, get to know them and help Darcy prepare, which was actually kind of familiar. Dad had just done that, hadn’t he?

Right! Darcy’s next deep breath came easier than the last ones. Okay. Okay! This was something she could relate to! YAY!

Frigga was a lot like Jack Lewis in that she very much loved her children and wanted to take time to get to know the person they were going to marry, and would slice and dice her busy schedule in order to accommodate that desire.

Darcy nommed in mental silence, just breathing deeply and starting to come to terms with what was going on. After all, Loki had endured Dad and Austin with cheerfulness, even the strange and awkward moments. Darcy could do the same, and she could do it longer and harder, too.

Eventually, Jane and Frigga emerged from their conversation, by which time Darcy’s initial nausea had abated and she’d made some serious headway into the cheese. _The cheese was great!_

“ Well, we shall see the product of their labors later in the day, my dears,” Frigga said, motioning to where the great hordes had been measuring Darcy and Jane. “And now, let us have just one more moment to ourselves and consider the rest of the day, shall we?”

Darcy and Jane ate silently and listened.

“From here we’ll go to the halls of healing, and then the steam rooms. That will take some time, and afterwards we’ll have some lunch in my garden. I hope you’ll love it as much as I do. After lunch Darcy will need to interview for her maid, we’ll have the second fitting, then a long, luxurious bath, a light supper, time to dress and then we’ll be off for the formal procession. Oh, there will be a large state wedding later, when my husband awakes, but in the meantime, as many people as can will be gathering along our route to the Observatory in order to see you and wish you well. You musn’t wave, of course, but if you feel so inclined, smiling would be appropriate.”

Darcy nodded. And then she remembered to smile. Her eyes traveled around the room she was in for the hundredth time, but for the very first time she started to actually see what was in it.

A large room, it was tastefully outfitted in green and gold. There were floor to ceiling bookshelves lining one wall, all encased in glass doors, and completely empty. There was a large empty table, a desk with nothing on it, and the fireplace they were in front of, on rather comfortable couches, eating second breakfast. Except for the fireplace and the mini banquet, it looked abandoned.

“Yes,” Frigga said softly, apparently following Darcy’s gaze. “He took his books. All of them. Plus a few from Odin’s library, on Jotunheim. I am used to Loki being gone for decades, and even centuries, but never without returning to visit. Never had I needed to prepare myself for an absence such as the one he planned this time. And then he met you.” Frigga’s voice filled with warmth until the sadness was gone. “And already you have begun to heal something in him that had been broken. Thank you, Darcy Lewis.”

Darcy blinked rapidly, trying to will away the tears that were forming in her eyes. “You’re welcome,” she said softly.

“And now,” Frigga said, a broad smile on her face, “something that I have long looked forward to doing. I have gifts for you. For both of you.”

Darcy blinked. She was about to demure, but Frigga kept on speaking.

“Some of the gifts to Darcy are traditional, but I knew you would be Midgardian, you see-”

Both Jane and Darcy did a double-take and abandoned the cheese.

“-and so I have had plenty of time to prepare some special gifts. Four hundred years, in fact.”

Darcy really wanted to say something like, ‘oh, you didn’t have to do that!’, but really, she liked gifts. Presents were awesome. And presents four hundred years in the making? From a sorcerer queen? Nope. Darcy was going to graciously accept every last thing Frigga wanted to give her. Also, she knew Darcy would be from Earth? There were a lot of questions to be asked, but somehow Darcy couldn’t manage any of them.

“That’s really generous of you. Thank you,” she said, instead.

“I don’t really need any gifts,” Jane put in, and Darcy would have kicked her if they’d been close enough. “I’m not marrying anyone.”

“No, of course not,” Frigga said with a smile that Darcy didn’t quite understand. There was more to it, but in ten minutes Darcy wouldn’t remember to ask Loki about his mother’s tells. “But you are directly responsible for my son meeting Darcy, and it is my pleasure to shower you with some of the same things I shall be giving Darcy, and perhaps something just for yourself? Ah, but we can discuss that later. There is time enough.

“Now, to the first gift. This one is for Darcy alone.” Frigga gestured in front of her and Darcy saw light green shards of magic before something rope-like lay across her open hands. She stared at it for a moment before something clicked in her brain.

“Is that a token?” Darcy asked and Frigga nodded. “What does it do?”

“This one I crafted to allow you to take five other people with you as you travel with ease. All you need do is recall to mind a place you’ve been to before and imagine yourself walking forward into that place, and it will happen.”

Darcy’s jaw dropped as she gaped at the magical rope in her mother-in-law’s hand. _She was going to be able to do magic all by herself!_

Frigga was saying something. Something about being vulnerable, something about being able to keep her future children safe no matter what, but all Darcy could think about was being able to have breakfast in Paris, lunch in LA, tea in London and dinner in Bangkok.

Darcy snapped out of it in time to hear Frigga point out that Loki could help her reposition it later if she wished, but for now she should wear it and try it out. Darcy rolled up her right sleeve and Frigga wrapped the two foot long token around her upper arm. It stung when it sank in, but only for a moment. Whatever.

They moved themselves into an open part of the room and all three held hands. Darcy followed Frigga’s calming directions and pictured the inside of the Observatory. Nothing happened. She pictured it again. Nothing happened.

“I think I’m doing something wrong,” Darcy said.

“Imagine the Observatory.”

“I did that.”

“Do you recall the platform in the center?” Frigga asked.

“Vaguely,” Darcy responded.

“Now, imagine yourself taking a step toward that center platform.”

And they were there. Darcy’s ears popped.

“Greetings, my Queen, Lady Darcy, Doctor Foster,” said Heimdall, apparently unsurprised at their intrusion.

“Hi,” Darcy said breathlessly. Because she had _just done magic!_

“Greetings, Heimdall. That was beautifully done, Darcy. Now, imagine your and Loki’s suite. Place it firmly in your mind. Imagine the fireplace. And take a step toward it.”

And they were there. Darcy’s ears popped again.

“Holy shit,” Jane muttered, and then clapped her hand over her mouth. “Sorry,” she whispered, cringing slightly. “It’s just that I so want to know how that works.”

Frigga gave a thoughtful hum before mysteriously responding, “Perhaps that can be arranged, Jane, dear.”

Jane’s eyes widened, but Frigga was already on to the next thing. They continued standing near the fireplace as she spoke.

“One more present before we move on to the healing halls, though I do promise there will be more gifts as the day continues on. This is an identical gift to each of you. You are both entering into a larger and more dangerous world than either of you can imagine, and I would not see you unprepared for it.” Frigga gestured, there were light green shards of magic, and then she held two small leather pouches. She gave one to each woman. “Open them.”

Darcy did so and poured into her hands five small, smooth black rocks and one purple stone on a very long silver chain.

“You hold in your hands five healing stones. Each one is capable of healing a seriously injured person, once. To use, simply place the stone under the tongue of the injured individual. While you will wish to keep the stones so that they may be recharged after use, for the very gravely injured, they will be insufficient. In which case, place the chain with the purple stone around the individual’s neck and they will be put into a temporary stasis. Not long, only a few days, but long enough to get them to healers who may be able to save their lives. The stasis necklace may be reused, but do not idly put it on someone, as it requires a sorceress to safely remove it again.”

Darcy blinked at the rocks in her hands and wondered what Aiden would make of them.

“Now, we are off to the healers. Whatever ailments small or large you may have when you walk in, you will not have when you walk out.” Frigga held her hands out to each woman.

Darcy and Jane just looked at each other. They simultaneously shifted their leather emergency first aid kits back together again and took Frigga’s hands.

A little tug, a little disorientation, and Darcy’s ears popped.

Fists pressed against hearts, heads bowed, one knee on the floor.

Darcy’s head was spinning, and she didn’t think it was just the teleportation. All the same, when the healers led her to a bed, she was grateful. She didn’t realize that when they took her glasses off, she’d never need to put them back on again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another chapter done. And in case you haven't noticed, there is a 'sequel' in this series - it's actually an outtake that will happen in the future, based on Squirrel_Stone's fan art that she made for Loki of Midgard. :) I hope you enjoy it, too!


	15. Wherein three incredibly intelligent women are left alone just long enough to fix everything, and then Loki happens.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frigga, Darcy, and Jane are just having some girl time. Which operates a lot like a think tank, now that I consider it. And then Loki runs an errand before cracking his knuckles and getting down to a bit of fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am continually humbled by the wonder of the reviews. Thank you.

A half hour later, all three women were naked, faced down on warm stone beds, getting their backs pounded in massage by very large, muscled women wrapped in thin towels. Speaking of thin towels, there was a token towel draped over Darcy’s ass, but really, she was naked.

After the healing, Darcy’s mind was clearer and she had more energy than a five year old. She hadn’t looked in a mirror, but if Jane was anything to go by, Darcy’s skin was glowing, too. It seemed almost a shame to sit quietly in a series of steam rooms, and then lay down for a massage, especially when Darcy was pretty sure she had enough energy to go climb Mount Everest, or run a half marathon with no training.

Still, it felt really good.

Her nails were strong. The girls were looking as perky as the day she bought her first double-D maidenform. Her sinuses were clear. The persistent low-grade back pain that Darcy had been told would always be with her so long as she remained thin and her boobs remained large… wasn’t. The scar on the back of her hand from where she’d burnt herself on the grill when she was twelve was completely gone, just like the stretch marks on the girls, the crooked little toe on her right foot from when she’d broken it senior year, and the bruises from having a lot of vigorous sex last night on a thinly veiled concrete floor with a very horny Jotunn warrior.

And Darcy could see. Perfectly. Without glasses. Or contacts. Or laser surgery.

She and Jane walked out of Asgardian Urgent Care with a laundry list of behaviors, emotions, and foods to avoid and behaviors, emotions, and foods to embrace. Some of which made sense and the rest of which they mutually agreed to ask Loki about later. And none of it was written down. Why? Because both Darcy and, as it turns out, Jane, felt like they had perfect recall at this point. Maybe they didn’t - the healers didn’t mention anything about _that_ \- but the doctor’s recommendations weren’t anything the two women were about to forget anytime soon. Darcy felt that it was up there with remembering Heimdall’s name.

On their way to the Turkish Delight Spa, as Darcy was now calling it in her head, Frigga had inquired after the health of the two women, but all either of them had thought to say was that they now felt great. Really, Darcy felt amazing, energized, calm, and possibly to the detriment of how Frigga would now see her, bold and sassy. All of the things she’d been afraid to even think of asking Frigga were all going to come out. Right now, and possibly in a flood.

“So, Frigga, question for you. All those measurements. Was that just for one wedding dress? Because that was a lot of measurements, over and over again.”

“Of course not, dear. It’s true that your wedding dress is being even now sewn, you were also measured for the rest of your Aesir wardrobe. I wanted you to be prepared, any time you return to Asgard, or any time you find yourself representing Asgard on Midgard, should you wish to wear our traditional clothing. Also, you were measured for your ceremonial armor, and the customary weapons. If at some point you wish to train in weapons that haven’t been yet provided for you, of course, we shall arrange for those, too. You have only to make the request."

Darcy blinked. “Weapons?”

“Of course, dear. You can’t be married without them.”

“I can’t?” Darcy verified.

“No, regardless of the fact that you are not now a shield maiden, it is one of our cultural expectations that you present yourself as one. I think… yes. You should bear the double battle daggers, in deference to Loki, as they are his favored weapon, and a short sword, as it is the primary and most traditional weapon for a shieldmaiden. It represents your willingness to defend your family. Jane, too, will bear arms.”

“What?” Jane asked, immediately. “I mean, wait, what?”

“Oh, yes. As witness to the handfasting, you will bear arms, representing your willingness to protect the vows made against usurpers, and interruptions to the ritual itself. I shall bear arms for the same reasons.”

“I’m going to be… um… handling weapons? Without, you know, hurting myself?” Jane said, but it might as well have been Darcy.

“Fear not. We shall have a bit of time to acquaint you both with all of the weapons you’ll be receiving, not just the ones you’ll bear during the handfasting. And your armor, of course. That can take some getting used to, if you’ve never worn any before. Have you?”

“Never,” Jane said.

“Not lately,” Darcy snarked, and then berated herself for it.

“No matter. There is time. Have you other questions? We shall be here for another two hours or more and I have temporarily cancelled your language charms. I myself am now simply speaking English, so we are at our leisure to speak candidly in front of these fine women.”

“I have all the questions, in case Darcy runs out. But Darce, I think you should go first,” Jane said quickly.

Darcy enjoyed the pounding on her back as she thought about the brief conversation that Frigga engaged them in after the Harry Potter Wand Measurement Festival of Craziness that took place in Loki’s abandoned apartment.

“You mentioned that you knew I would be from Midgard. Would you like to say more about that? Preferably a lot more?”

“Ah, Loki has not mentioned that I can, to some extent, see the future?”

Jane made a choking noise.

“Uh, that would be a no,” Darcy deadpanned.  “Um. So. How does that work?”

“The course of our lives is akin to a woven tapestry, and there are some few people who are able to read and interpret such weavings to know the future. It is always true, and not always accurate, and may drive many a weaver mad, you see.”

“Strangely, I don’t see. Would you care to elaborate a bit more?” Darcy was thoroughly unnerved and trying not to show it. Jane was no longer making choking noises, and had finished her brief coughing fit.

“I am being obtuse, I apologize. There are so few things I can say about my skill, you see. I am unable to speak of what I see, though I may make my own preparations. I can do nothing to change the future, but any may, of their own choice, skip ahead in the tapestry.”

Darcy followed Frigga right up until the end. “You mean, I could skip all of the interesting stuff in my life, and get right on to dying? You know, if I wanted to?”

Frigga laughed. “No, my dear. That is called suicide, and not what I meant at all. The weavings show events - including pains, sufferings, trials. These are what may be skipped over, by only the choice of the individual him or herself. You see, from every trial there is a lesson we may choose to learn. If we learn it, then the tapestry smooths a bit and we are allowed to skip over all of the subsequent lessons which had been the same. If we choose not to learn, we will be offered more and more opportunities. The lessons we must learn do not change. The rate at which we choose to learn them is entirely up to ourselves.”

Darcy let that sink in for a moment as Frigga was silent.

Frigga continued after a few minutes. “Though I cannot speak of what is to come, not even in any subtle way, I can speak of the past, and what I have seen there. I can tell you truthfully that my husband and my eldest son have not always learned their lessons on the first, or indeed the fifteenth opportunity to do so and have thus postponed much joy they might have experienced, and called down upon themselves many consequences they might have avoided. My youngest son, on the contrary, has learned some of his lessons sooner, experienced some of his joy sooner and avoided some of the more painful consequences I had seen that he might have had, if he had taken his father and brother’s example to heart.”

Darcy blinked and heard Jane’s harsh exhale.

“It is not so extraordinary a skill, I assure you. Anyone who knows you well, who can think clearly about you, and who knows the ways these things work might make similar predictions to the ones I am forbidden to speak of. For instance, I have sister who doesn’t get along well with our mother. It does not take a seer to realize that if they could put their differences aside and learn to see the situation differently, the very quality of their lives would be substantially different.”

“Ugh,” Darcy grunted. “I suppose this means that I have to learn to like my sister, then.”

Frigga laughed. “It means nothing of the sort, my dear daughter. It is entirely your own choice, as it has always been. The only question is do you wish to postpone your joy? Once you know the answer to that question, the answer to all of the others becomes increasingly obvious, however difficult it may be in the moment. I promise you, once you begin, it does get easier.”

Darcy snorted. “That doesn’t actually sound like much of a choice.”

“Ah,” Frigga said, her tone seeming to convey complete understanding. “But this is the nature of most every choice, once you peel back the layers of indifference, rage, guilt, victimization, and every other emotion save happiness. If you want your pain, no one will take it from you. You need not worry on that account.”

Darcy was, she would later consider, shockingly resistant to what Frigga was saying, but she swallowed it back down. The problem wasn’t that it didn’t make sense to her. It made all too much sense and she hated the idea that someone could predict her own life like that. She really, really hated it.

Jane filled the silence with a question of her own on the topic. “So, how is it that you can’t say what you’ve seen for the future? Will something bad happen? Will the time lords come to take you away?”

Darcy could hear Frigga’s smile in her words. “No, nothing of the sort. I am simply unable to state, convey or imply in any way that would be communicative to any particular person what the future is to hold.”

“What if you slip up? I mean, you did say that you could make your own plans, right? What if someone noticed and figured it out on their own?”

“Ah, yes. I see. Well, it has not ever happened before, not that I am aware of, at any rate. But of course I would be unable to confirm or deny their suspicions, should they bring them to me. It is akin to a magical geis. There are simply things I cannot say.”

Darcy had calmed herself down, hearing of Frigga’s own inability to yell at loved ones for being idiots, which Darcy had to admit would be really satisfying in the other woman’s position.

“So,” Darcy began, “what did it mean to you, four hundred years ago, that Loki would be marrying a Midgardian woman?”

“Many things, many things. And they have all informed the presents that I have made for you. I knew immediately that you would not be a sorceress, which you might otherwise have been, had you been Aesir, or Vanir, even. Or even Jotunn or Elven. And there are certain basic magics I would want you to have immediate access to, for your own comfort and safety, and the comfort and safety of your family. I knew that you would not have the knowledge nor the experience of our realm, or even of Yggdrasil at all, and I wished to be prepared for you to educate yourself at your leisure. There are other things, such as proper attire, weaponry and armor that you were unlikely to have appropriate versions of, to take your place as Loki’s wife and my daughter. I knew not when you would meet my son, but I acted as if I had the luxury of all time to make every preparation that I could think of to the standard I am used to employing. I am heartily glad that I did. And heartily glad, too, that I made extra preparations, which will allow me to give Jane some similar gifts which will greatly aid her in her endeavors.”

“Wow,” Darcy said, guilty that she had moments ago been thinking mean thoughts about her absolutely wonderful mother-in-law. “Thank you.”

Darcy swallowed past the lump in her throat.

“And, um,” she started again, “Thank you so much for the token. I, um, I’ve talked with Loki a little bit about how dangerous even I know it could be for me, as his wife, as a representative of another realm on, um, Midgard,” she said, catching herself before she used her own name for her home planet. “I’m still a little freaked out, I admit, for when he’s not around, or when he might be under the weather. Not that, like, Midgard is a super dangerous place to be, or full of horrible people. But, you know, it’s filled with a lot of people. And a very, very tiny fraction of them are completely off their rocker and dangerous to anyone who catches their attention. But that very, very tiny fraction is, well, actually kind of a lot of people, really. And of course that doesn’t count any enemies that Asgard may have abroad, which I’m not even sure I could deal with hearing about right now. I can ask Loki for a list later. You know, if I want to have nightmares.”

Frigga hummed, and then spoke. “I see. At first I thought that my son was being, well, shall we say slightly over-cautious. But he, and most certainly you, know your realm far better than I, and you both have reported to me know that you believe yourself to be in some amount of ambient danger. This will not do.” Frigga paused for a moment. “Yes. Yes, I see it must occur, now. In addition to interviewing for a maid for yourself, I shall also call forth a few excellent possibilities for a guardian for you - or perhaps a companion, or even assistant? Her duties may be as you wish them to be, but she will be both sorceress and shieldmaiden. I will ensure that she is utterly loyal to me, and thus you, and that she is entirely indifferent to my son, which not all women in this realm are. Whomever you choose you will, of course, have on a trial basis until you are both completely satisfied that you suit one another. You may send for them both at any time when you have settled yourselves and are ready to receive them.”

Darcy blinked.

Holy shit. The whole ‘maid’ thing had kind of gone over her head the first time Frigga had mentioned it. Over her head, or maybe in one ear and out the other. But a maid and a bodyguard? She definitely wanted the latter. In theory. But actually hearing that she was going to be assigned one…

Darcy had never, you know, employed people. Or managed people. Or headed her own team. Or worked well in group projects. She totally knew how to follow orders. And she really knew how to write papers. Also, she was adept at multitasking Facebook updates with cramming for exams and doing data entry. But…

What did one do with an assistant? She knew what other people did with her when she was an assistant, but what would she do with one who didn’t know Facebook from an actual, physical volume of an encyclopedia?

Darcy blinked.

Then Darcy thought about Thor. If she could train numbnuts to be Jane’s assistant, and whatever that would entail for whatever next project Jane would also be multitasking with (Darcy had kind of been paying attention lately), then she could totally pretend that she was Jane, look at Darcy’s life and task list, and train Darcy’s assistant in whatever would be most useful for Darcy. And then it hit her.

_Darcy wouldn’t have to write her own articles. She could dictate!_

The soon-to-be princess of Asgard completely and utterly refrained from letting out a triumphant whoop and doing an entirely horizontal happy-dance which would have had nothing to do with sex.

* * *

They had finished the two-hour massage (more of those in her future, Darcy was determined) and had moved on to sitting somewhat upright in chairs as various women applied various things to their faces. For the sake of argument, Darcy just called it Facial Time with Frigga, and decided not to ask what people were actually doing to her. It was easier that way.

“No, no, Jane. That’s not what you need. You need… like, a full on _institute_. Like, the Royal Asgardian Institute of Science and Sorcery. Like Hogwarts. But in New Mexico. And a place where some of those open-minded final-decade apprentices that Frigga was talking about could come and learn higher math, the scientific method, modern technology, maybe some of the earth cultures and history, the history of science, and then branch off into, oh, whatever - physics, biology, medicine, nanotechnology, blah, blah, I’m not a registrar. And then you’ve got, like, the next generation of Aesir sorcerers on your side, and so what if only a quarter of them stay and work on the Foster Institute’s pet project of translating magic into scientific terms and fulfilling the Bayesian Prophesy of Figuring Out Everything Ever, and making Golden Gate Space Bridges for All Upright Bipeds.”

There was silence.

“You know, Darcy. I routinely underestimate you. I’d like to apologize for that right now.”

“Sweet talker. Whatever,” Darcy said, pleased, but refusing to admit it.

“You know,” Frigga chimed in. “Loki will undoubtedly be not only willing to lend his aid and expertise, but also he would have some fine ideas to make this plan of ours even better. Hmm. You know, if you are willing to have slightly less pampering this evening, we could fit in a few more interviews. I suspect there would be at least a dozen such precocious apprentices who have not, as you say, drunk the Kool-Aid. They are within easy travel distance and I could have their presence after lunch.”

Both women made noises of assent, and then Darcy continued to think as Frigga called over one of the attendants and spoke in a language that didn’t sound like it was based in Latin.

“You know,” Darcy mused, long after the attendant had left on her errand. “It would be best to have the Institute inside an embassy. The embassy. Damn, that’s another clusterfuck I haven’t figured out, yet.”

“Something amiss, dear?” Frigga asked.

Darcy sighed. “Nothing that can’t be solved, but it’s sticky. See, the thing is, it’s completely reasonable for Asgard to send a single ambassador. But there isn’t a single place on Midgard that a single ambassador would reasonably set up shop. There isn’t one Midgard, not really. There are 196 bits of Midgard that bicker with each other, occasionally attempt genocide, and sometimes practice friendship on a trial basis, without actually trusting each other as far as one could throw another. And that doesn’t include the groups of people who aren’t in power, but would and do kill to be in power. And of those official 196, there are about twenty who seem to be reasonable powerbrokers, a further eight who actually try to get along for the sake of humanity most of the time, and three who really hold power. And funny thing about the three, or the eight, or the twenty. Everyone’s got ambassadors in most everyone else’s country, right? But not really. Because not all 196 have 195 embassies, because a lot of those countries are really inconsequential in the larger scheme of things, ignoring the actual value of human life. They aren’t big producers or consumers of raw materials, finished goods, power sources, etcetera. So, and this is where I’ve been going in this monologue, right? So, the one ambassador of Asgard has to choose one of the 196 countries to be in, because you can’t just split your time between all twenty, or all eight, or even the three - it’s a total insult. But then, the other two, or seven, or nineteen start to feel exactly like the other 176 countries who they don’t count as really important or worthy of their complete attention or _a separate ambassador_. And some of those countries are, well, reactionary, and have access to a nuclear arsenal. Which is bad. Like, global wide extermination in the wrong circumstances, bad.

“So, yeah. I’m still working on that one. I anticipate having some kind of decent answer within the next three weeks, when I start writing a paper on the topic.”

The room was in silence for the next five minutes, except for an initial “Huh,” on Jane’s part and a “Hmm, interesting,” on Frigga’s part.

“Well, you could… no, never mind,” Jane said, five minutes into the silence, preceding another seven minutes.

Then Frigga spoke. “There is a possibility I can imagine, though I do not know if it would be any more desirable than any you have already considered, and already discarded. It involves a fairly significant amount of magic, and thus would have to precede slowly apace, and would require a perhaps extensive location in one country, though the right explanation could make that slightly more palatable, perhaps. Well, it is for you to decide. Plainly my thought is this: doorways. One side is one country, one side is another.”

Darcy hummed as she thought. Guards. Containment. No going through doors willy-nilly. ...Unless you have a special visa. No import or export of plants or fruit. All embassy services would be a door - and maybe several hallways - away.

It’s very Harry Potter, she thought, imagining the Weasley’s tent, even though that wasn’t quite what Frigga had suggested.

“You know,” Jane began to point out. “So, imagine the embassy and institute are in Middle-of-Nowhere, New Mexico, actually around the bifrost site. And we simply fail to mention that anywhere could be a bifrost site, it’s just that Loki likes to meditate in the desert. So, there. There’s a built in excuse: we’re building - uh, I mean you’re building - one large embassy, plus institute and cultural center, in one central location that is most convenient to Asgard, and there are doors to all the capitals of the world. Maybe garage doors, too, you know? And you could include a door to Washington, just to try and prove the point that even though the embassy is in the US, that was just happenstance. Because who builds an embassy in the middle of nowhere if they don't have to? You know, except Loki?”

Darcy was grinning. “I’m pretty sure the irony and the subtle deception will appeal to him immensely.” She paused to think for a moment. “I like it. Thanks, Frigga. I think I mostly like it because it will piss off everyone, and he’ll be primarily located in no capital at all. Which there is no precedent for. Which will be absolutely perfect.”

Darcy imagined a hallway of doors, each labeled with a country name in a region. Each door led to a small containment room where there could be security measures. All weapons left outside, kind of thing.

Then Darcy thought just how much room 196 doors was going to take up.

Suddenly the hallway of doors became a rotunda, one floor in a circular tower with a balcony circling an open air center and a large skylight above. Greenery scattered around, a large elevator, and stairways leading gently down. Twenty doors per floor would make for a ten-storey tower, and not too bad.

The garage doors were clearly going to need to be in a parking garage-like structure.

Darcy suddenly imagined someone trying to move a tank from one country to another through a conveniently located Asgardian parking garage.

Security. Definitely. And a fuck-tonne of magic.

There were obviously issues to work out, but this was definitely what Darcy was going to propose, both to Loki as well as in her paper.

“So, question for you. How much magic would it take to create one doorway for someone to walk through and one doorway that is perhaps, four or five times as large?”

“I would imagine that one master sorcerer - not my son, you understand, he has other things to attend to - could ensorcel, perhaps, five sets of such doors per year. That would allow for a reasonable pace that a master would not find punishing. Perhaps only four if travel to the other region is lengthy.”

So… the whole world could actually be done in forty years, using one sorcerer. That was totally reasonable. A faster pace might not actually be useful - better to have countries get used to the idea and trust the Asgardian embassy. Also, this would staunch the idea that just anyone could have a door like this.

Huh. People claiming asylum at the embassy. That could get tricky. Darcy would have to think about that long and hard.

“I like it. I totally like it. Okay. Brainstorm time. There’s nothing out there, right? But like, rocks, desert, and the bifrost rune. And way beyond that, like, a nuclear test site. Huh. Radiation. I’ll have to discuss that with Loki. Anyway. So, it’s possible that we could buy or lease whatever kind of acreage we really want. So, Jane, what do we want?”

Jane spluttered. “I-what-um-why-uh-hey!”

“Come on, you’ve been in on this discussion from the beginning, and if we are putting your institute in there, which by the by I think is one of my more rockstar ideas, you need to have a say in what’s inside the enclosure, you know?”

Jane regrouped and responded at her typical speed: really fast.

“Some classrooms, different sized ones, several different labs, a lot of office space, a decent library with work space. And dorms. And a cafeteria, or something. And whatever kind of workrooms or magic space the apprentices would need to keep their own skills current. And probably, too, some kind of third place, you know. Like hang out space. I mean, we are far from anywhere. Except for the doors, which, okay, London is like, two steps away. Still. A hang out space. Students need a break. Heck, sometimes I need a break. Could we have a Starbucks? I want a Starbucks. But we might also need room to grow. You know? I mean, what I can envision now, who knows what’s going to be going on in fifty years, you know? Definitely need room to grow. And probably… I don’t know. Outbuildings. For maintenance type things. We would get an architect, right? Or an entire firm? Right? Yeah, okay. Of course. Duh. Anyway. Uh, what about you, Darce? What are you thinking?”

“Well, there’s guards and embassy staff, as well as guests, and God help us, refugees. So there will be a lot of different kinds of housing. There needs to be conference space, an auditorium space, probably a ballroom, a tower of doors, two different parking garages - one for parking, one for garage doors - we’ll definitely need some recreation space. A game room, a couple of TV rooms all throughout the housing. The guards will need a training space. Everyone else will need a workout room. I vote for a pool. The institute’s dorms should have some decent meditation space. Yeah, and definitely a solar farm - a big one. Some outdoor spaces, too, for recreation, meditation and barbeques. And a helicopter pad, too, probably. To get to Roswell quickly. Unless we just want a private airstrip for the private jet. Hmm. Maybe both. So, hangers. Those are my initial thoughts. I’m sure Loki will refine everything. It’s a far cry from what we were thinking before, but whatever. I hadn’t thought it through completely at that point. I like this idea much better. Fur will still fly and undersecretaries will get their noses bent out of shape, but whatever.”

Darcy had that feeling she would often get during the run up to an assignment deadline: she’d procrastinated on her thesis, but now that she’d found it, she was golden. And she had her reading list all laid out for her on a silver platter, thanks to Professor Zost.

It was a good day to be Darcy.

* * *

Loki opened his eyes and grinned.

The day spread before him like a banquet. There were so many delectable options, the choice was a difficult one. Well, best to tend to the chore he’d set out for himself before he frittered away the rest of his day in fun until his in-laws arrived at the appointed time in the evening.

Loki changed his clothes with a few thoughts, then adjusted the tie at his neck. Walking over to the mirror in the bathroom he ensured his attire would not be out of place. Indeed, everything was as it ought to be. He ran his hands through his exceedingly short cropped hair and shook his head. He would get used to the style, he supposed. Eventually. Still, he made a mental note to do a bit of people watching at his different stops to see what the latest fashions for men looked like. (Midgard, o how you do like to change with your seasons!)

Paris it was, then.

He stepped from Dr. Foster’s main room into a back alley that he was pleased to note was still a back alley. It was only the walk of a few blocks until he found a taxi and slid in the back.

“Emmenez-moi à Cartier.”

Austin had given him explicit instructions. He was to go down on one knee, preferably before the wedding actually occurred, pull out a ring in a specialized ring box, open said box held before Darcy and ask her, “Will you marry me?”, regardless of course that she was the one who had asked him, or the fact that the agreement had already been made.

Honestly, Loki wasn’t entirely sure that Darcy required all of such trappings, but he was more than pleased to obtain a ring. And if what Austin had described was, in fact, the proper ritual for bestowing it, fine. As rituals went, it was brief enough.

And so, to Cartier Loki went to pick out a ring. He had very little indecision once he arrived. Blue was her favorite color. Platinum was apparently the metal of choice on Midgard in this century. He held a platinum ring to test it and realized that he would be able to change it slightly enough to accommodate the size of her finger, which was convenient. There was some dissent when he informed them that he would require the ring to be ready in two hours, but that was just a moment before he pulled out the credit card that Darcy had arranged for him.

“You pull this baby out,” she had said with a gleeful grin, “and shit will _happen_.”

His love did have an amusing way with words.

The individual attending to his needs in the shop did not blink twice at the sight of what Loki had also been assured was a rare item held only by the wealthy and influential, but he was amused to see the slight consternation upon reading the name imaged upon the card.

_Loki of Asgard_

Well.

Things happened quite quickly on Midgard and Loki couldn’t help but to cause just a bit of a stir before SHIELD aided him in making the official announcement. Then again, the shop was quite discrete. Perhaps nothing would be said at all. Still, Loki considered the odds were in his favor, which was precisely where he enjoyed them staying.

Well.

Might as well nudge the odds a bit further up in his favor, he thought, just before he disappeared from the middle of the shop and went to take a walk along the Ganges.

* * *

Well, now. That was interesting. The tendrils of chaos slid past him like a lover’s caress as he sat by the sacred river, contemplating the web.

Loki admired the persistence of HYDRA and noted that they had named themselves hopefully, if not with complete accuracy. But it was time, he felt, to nip them in the bud, as an organizational structure. They had strange plans that Loki did not entirely approve of for his new home. Genocide was not to be undertaken lightly, and certainly not if there was any hope of redemption at all. And in Loki’s opinion, there was always some hope. Their odd version of it, ‘kill anyone who could at any point in the future cause you inconvenience’ was not to his liking at all.

It was time, Loki decided, that HYDRA come to the attention of one of his favorites. It seemed, if he was certain, that some one-fifth of the Director’s organization was compromised to that mythical being, and those individuals were not evenly spread out at every level. But it was time, o yes, it was time, for some of them to start making mistakes. For too long their lies had served evil purposes.

No longer.

In his mind’s eye, Loki started flicking his fingers at them. Suddenly, emails are sent to the wrong person in the wrong department. Snide remarks are made in front of the wrong people. Slips of the tongue. Slips of temper. A recruitment speech made too soon, and with too much strength. The wrong person gets killed in a way impossible to hide. In ten minutes of effort, twenty-five people now had open inquiries in their personnel files and were officially under suspicion. And they were twenty-five of exactly the right sort of people to suspect of terribly nefarious deeds in an already somewhat nefarious organization.

That was enough for today. Next Saturday, Loki would spend another hour and ten minutes on SHIELD’s behalf and expose another twenty-five. By the third Saturday Loki assumed that the Director would have caught on to the pattern and be quite expecting him. Eventually, it might suit Loki’s interests to be able to claim his actions, in which case, it was best not to be too subtle, or so his consideration went. At least not in this game.

Loki shifted his attention to the other business of SHIELD which had been raising grave concerns for the longevity of Midgard. The Tesseract.

Loki sighed. “I thought I buried that in the sea,” he muttered to himself, disturbing a local dog who was laying out in the sun with him. The dog raised her head and gave an inquisitive whine. Loki reached out and idly scratched it behind the ears. “Nothing for you to worry about, my dear. Back to your snooze, I think.”

_The Tesseract is not a toy to be idly amused with, Director, Loki thought in some consternation. And just because HYDRA has gone before and made smooth the track, it does not necessarily follow that you should traipse merrily ahead with no thought for-- o, dear._

Loki knew chaos.

Loki might, in his own and not entirely humble opinion on the subject, know chaos the best in the Universe, considerate of all sentient beings.

Loki could clearly tell where chaos was free-form and where chaos had been bounded, or trained like a vine, or nudged ever-so-slightly one way or the other. And his sight was not limited to the present moment alone, for meddling left traces. Sometimes trends were a vague impression, other times even the subtlest of meddlings could paint a clear and distinct picture. Loki could look back over the web of chaos when he’d finished playing with it and see clearly not just that it was different, but that in fact it had a different nature. When the improbable but not impossible occurred with more frequency than it ought, the sight was quite clear and obvious to the Master.

And someone had just now, just as his very eyes were laid upon the web itself, made a change so small, so insignificant, that Loki would have doubted his own keen senses on the subject - had not the subject in question been the Tesseract. But that subtle, even doubtful change had unfolded in his senses a dire picture of deep meddling by a skilled player. And this was quite clear, and obvious, now that he realized it, yes. The work itself was subtle, so, so very subtle. More so than Loki himself had just been with the HYDRA representatives.

Someone very subtle had been meddling with SHIELD, before him.

Someone very subtle had been meddling with Midgard, before him.

Someone very subtle had been meddling, coaxing the Tesseract out of hiding, out of hibernation, which would be dangerous, eventually, for all of Yggdrasil.

Someone very subtle had been meddling to quite dangerous ends _with his favorites._

_Someone very subtle had been meddling to quite dangerous ends with his favorites almost since Loki threw the damn stone into the sea. Which meant that they also were watching him, to some degree._

A rage poured through Loki the likes of which he had not felt in a very long time. He stood up and stalked away from his quiet and peaceful meditation, away from the Ganges. The red rock of the New Mexico desert surrounded him, now, with nothing for miles.

Loki slipped out of the stream of time, the only way he could be absolutely certain to have utter and complete privacy from anyone at all.

He breathed. He paced. He focused on quieting his mind. It was all to no avail. Loki let out a guttural cry that usually only found voice in him during the height of battle turned physical and dangerous. In the blink of an eye time flowed by him once more. His clothes changed from modern suit to ancient armor and now his training targets were present. He took his battle daggers to hand from the store and the violent dance commenced.

For two hours Loki fought, the pitch of the battle never changing, never lessening, never loosening. For two hours Loki unleashed his rage in the punishing physicality of battle until finally his served portion of it was at last spent.

The targets faded. The daggers returned. Loki walked, one, two, three steps in the desert and then four, five, six steps through the hallway. Closing the bathroom door, his garments disappeared and he stood under the shower, letting the cold water stream over his head.

Deep breath. Deep in, deep out. Without conscious thought his mind slipped into his standard cold-water meditation. His shoulders relaxed. His head fell forward as he slowly soaped his entire body, and slowly rinsed off again.

Twenty minutes later he stood under the stream of cold water, coming to himself and returning to his calm center. Over and over again when still in the dark and angry place, half-formed thoughts of rage and revenge, tiny thoughts of concern and reminder tried to vie for space in his head but he knew that no good could come of any plans in such a state. That was the lesson Thor had taught him.

_Deal with your anger, first, my son. Think and plan, after._ Well, his mother had helped.

Another deep breath and he felt he was finally free of the rage, at least for now. And now, Loki could think again.

And that’s when he realized he’d forgotten to return to Cartier in a timely fashion.

“Damnation.”


	16. Wherein Darcy & Jane become superheroines in their own minds.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch with Frigga proves uber eventful and meanwhile Loki makes sweet, sweet love to his new Porsche. And then there are all the Loki feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo! Two chapters until the end of Book One! And then? Book Two! (I already have part of the first chapter written.) Thank you for all of the lovely reviews and kudos! Y'all are completely BAMF.

Lunch with Frigga in her garden was, you know, amazing.

There were thick, soft blankets woven with intricate designs that she would have called celtic before, but now wasn’t sure. There were low trestle tables piled with food. And piled with drink. And plates. And cloth napkins. And heavy utensils she was sure were worth more than Jane’s rent. Fruits and vegetables of every description in hot dishes, cold dishes, wide dishes, tall dishes, tiered dishes. Meat half-carved lay in platters, cheese half-carved lay in rounds, things that seemed like nuts and olives, but in unexpected colors, garnished the dishes.

Jane and Darcy shared a brief glance. _Asgardians and their appetites. This was a light lunch?_

They did they best they could to tuck in and try everything as they continued their conversation with Frigga. They were still nibbling and filling in the corners when Frigga pulled in front of her two packages that had been to the side of one of the trestles all along. Next to it, Darcy noticed, two very small wooden trunks, perhaps a foot and a half tall and long, and two or two and a half feet wide. The trunks caught Darcy’s attention because they had rounded tops, like she always imagined a pirate’s chest having. Darcy wondered what treasure was buried within, though with a trunk that small, you wouldn’t need a map.

Frigga handed each of them one of the packages after referring to the top where Darcy saw her name written. Glancing over to Jane’s she saw the woman’s finger go slowly over her name.

“What does this mean?” Jane asked, and Darcy remembered that Loki had given her the ability to read the Asgardian runes when he’d let her borrow that book the other day.

“Tis your name, Jane, as we would spell it here. But do open the packages, my dearests. Again, these are gifts, the same to each, because you are both, in your own way, entering into a larger and more dangerous world.”

Darcy opened hers to find light grey cloth that was so, so soft and so _incredibly_ thin. Diaphanous. That was a word, right?

“These simple, unadorned cloaks may not look like they have much to offer you, but my darlings, these will keep you safer than you can imagine. There are enchantments woven into the very fabric. When you have the cloak on and the hood up around your head, it will be your choice whether or not you wish to be noticed. As the weaver and enchanter, I will always be able to see you, but not even Loki could see through this, should you wish to hide yourself from him.” A twinkle came into her eye, then. “Though I should warn you, that if you play that game, he has other means to discern your presence against which this cloak cannot do battle. But enough of that. Do stand up for a brief moment and try them on. Intend to be unnoticed by each other and see what happens.”

“Whoa!” Jane cried. “Darcy! You really did just disappear! Oh my _god-I-wanna-know-how-it-works-and-what-is-it-with-our-rods-and-cones-already!_ ”

“Heh, you’re totally invisible,” Darcy responded. _We have Invisibility Cloaks! We have Invisibility Cloaks!_ she chanted in her head.

“Now, an interesting feature of this enchantment, my dears,” Frigga began again once Darcy and Jane had taken off their cloaks and sat down, “is the nature of not noticing someone. You shall have to use it yourself to become accustomed to it, of course. But it is quite different from being invisible, as you say. When someone isn’t noticed, they are still walked around in a crowd. The invisible are bumped into. They are still counted in a throng. The invisible are not. But the unnoticed are not recognized. They cannot be focused upon. They are not truly seen. They are not remembered. You understand?”

Both women nodded dumbly. Darcy was totally getting enough magic items that she was going to need a bag of holding, soon. And a quest.

“Now, for the next two gifts. These are the same, and to both of you. The one is inside the other, but I think a bit of explanation is in order, first.”

Darcy put her Invisibility Cloak to one side and got ready. She glanced at Jane, who looked as rapt as she was. What on earth did Frigga think her newly minted Midgardian daughter-in-law and best-astrophysicist-friend was going to need next?

“Each of you, in your own way and for your own reasons, will find good use for this gift, I think. Darcy, yours will be for your own personal use and study. Jane, yours will undoubtedly be the foundation for an even larger collection in the Institute. But I have, in fact, commissioned some time ago a library for each of you. I wasn’t sure at first Jane, if it was indeed you whom I had commissioned this one for, but now I am certain. Without a doubt this is information that you will need at your own fingertips, and now you shall have it. Come here, my dears, and I shall enchant your sight so that you may read your new books.”

When Frigga looked to Darcy, she put up her hands. “I’m good. I’ve been borrowing Loki’s books.” Jane half-crawled over to her and Frigga made a squiggle on her forehead.

Both women thanked Frigga profusely and Jane timidly asked the question on both of their minds.

“Um, how big of a library are we talking about? And… what’s in it?”

“Three thousand, two hundred and forty-two volumes on a variety of subjects including history, magic, architecture, metallurgy, healing, poetry, plays, art, the fabric arts, carpentry, music, cooking, hunting, the other realms, diplomacy, war strategy, weapon usage, and battle tactics. Some of the original volumes were quite slim, so I had them combined with those of a like topic.”

“Wow. Thank you. Um, again,” Jane said.

Three thousand. Two hundred. Forty-two (42!) books were quite a lot of books. Would a kindle hold that many?

“And now, would you both go and fetch your trunks? Just there.”

Darcy and Jane shared another look. Jane seemed to not quite be up her science fiction and fantasy reading because she seemed _not to know what was about to happen!_

Darcy took one look at her pirate chest and knew, _she just knew_ , that it was going to be TARDIS like. Waaaay bigger on the inside than the outside. Because nobody mentions your brand new library with thousands of books then then hands you a trunk that will maybe hold your cosmetics and lingerie both.

Darcy picked hers up. It was heavier than she imagined a heavily enchanted item would be, but significantly lighter than she knew three thousand books weighed. It looked solid, and it weighed solid. The wood was pretty - varnished, maybe? But with really pretty natural colors that seemed to be deep inside the wood itself. And there was a brass (or, gold?) name plate on the front of the lid.

_Darcy of Asgard_

Darcy’s stomach bottomed out again. Holy moly. She was going to be _Darcy of Asgard_. Regardless of the fact that she really wasn’t. But she kind of would be. Without really being. Then again, neither was Loki. She ran her fingers over the golden name plate and glanced over to see Jane staring blankly at hers. Darcy looked closer, but everything seemed okay. It read _Doctor Jane Foster_.

“Only you and I may open these trunks, unless you grant permission otherwise. So open them, my dears.”

Darcy opened hers to see the interior stacked with a dozen thick volumes, all equally tall, all bound in green leather, all with gold writing on the spines. She glanced over to see that Jane’s was filled with the same, but in a luxurious and more traditional red leather. Darcy touched her own only to find that the leather itself was butter soft. _Butter_ soft. She didn’t have gloves that were this nice, but now her books would be!

Books. _Books_.

Darcy loved books. And now she would officially do, really, anything Frigga wanted. She took one out entitled, ‘The Histories of the Aesir, Volume 3’ and just stroked it. She opened it and took a deep breath and was thrilled to know that old book smell was a universal thing.

And then it hit her. These hundred year old copies of ancient manuscripts, identically bound in leather, _were made_ _especially for her_.

Darcy’s stomach did a triple lux on top of everything else when she realized that these books, just like Loki’s, were _handwritten_.

Feeling a little lightheaded, she shut the book and held it against her chest. It was thick, heavy, antique, alien, handwritten, leather-bound and _hers_. _And it chronicled the history of a people no one else on Earth knows about._ This library alone was priceless.

_Every single gift that woman has given you is priceless, you nitwit,_ the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee Chair pointed out.

Darcy glanced up only to find that Frigga was beaming.

“You’re totally spoiling us,” Darcy pointed out, her voice somewhat weaker than normal.

“Good,” Frigga replied, looking thoroughly satisfied with herself.

After a few minutes, Jane surfaced with a strangled, “thank you,” and Frigga must have decided it was time to move on. Darcy was aware of Frigga giving instructions for use of the trunk, and it turned out she was right. The trunk was bigger than it seemed. Way, way, _waaaaay bigger._

Swipe this way with one finger to move one compartment over. Swipe with two to move ten. Three to move a hundred. Four to move a thousand. Grab with your nails here in these little grooves along the back to move between sections. Books, Clothes, Jewelry, Armor, Weapons, Money, and eight more empty categories. Some compartments were deep enough to stand in and looked far bigger than the box itself. Then Frigga pointed to the ornate design on the top of the inside lid. At the exact center there was… a tiny token?

“Now, my dears. This is how it shall work. You will not always wish to take your trunk with you, yes? So you take this token and put it in the bottom of a smaller bag, or a larger one, or a pocket if you like. The moment the token is placed in a bag, it offers that bag as an aperture into this trunk. It is not perfect, but it will do. If you wish to organize or reorganize your things, best to do that from within the trunk where you have more control. But all you need to do with a token-designate is to state in your mind the thing you wish to recall, and it shall come to your hand. And the token itself can be recalled through the bag to make it nothing more than a bag once more, or, of course, it can be found right here,” she said, pointing to the lid. “This is its resting place and home. If something has happened to the token-designate bag, all you must do to reverse the charm is to take the token in your hand from its place in the lid and replace it again. That is all.”

Darcy hadn’t just received a bag of holding. She’d received an infinite bag of infinite holding!

Darcy’s internal squee might have leaked out just a tiny bit. Frigga only laughed.

“Thank you,” she said, trying again for an adult tone. Inside she was jumping up and down and proclaiming herself the newest superheroine on the block. After all, she could teleport, become invisible, and hold anything. That qualified her, right?

And Jane! They could be superheroines _together! Fighting crime in the name of science and diplomacy! Huzzah!_

But that wasn’t all. Frigga pulled out a small token from the middle of nowhere. “Now, there is one of these for each of you. As with any token, while I place this one now, Loki may remove and re-position it for you later. _This_ token makes it impossible for your trunk to be stolen. May I have your arm, Darcy?”

Frigga gestured to Darcy’s left arm. She took her wrist, twisted it until the smooth underside was visible and laid this new token just underneath the one that Loki had placed. Frigga looked up with a question in her eyes and Darcy nodded. With a sharp sting the token sunk in and became a tattoo, slightly lighter green in color than Loki’s.

“Now, Jane. Your wrist? Just like Darcy’s? This will sting, but only for a moment. Excellent.”

Jane was staring at her new tattoo and Darcy idly wondered if the good Dr. Foster ever planned on getting tattoos in her lifetime, or if she was morally opposed to marking her skin. Hmm. Won’t that be an interesting conversation for later?

“Now my dears. Let us practice. Close your trunks, first. Yes, good. Now, hold out your hands thus, and be ready to accept the weight of your trunk. It can be a little disconcerting at first. Now call it to you.”

When nothing happened, Frigga tried again.

“Imagine the weight of your trunk in your hands, and say to it in your head, ‘Come here!’”

Immediately two trunks were in two sets of arms and two women were unprepared for the heftiness.

“Oof!” Darcy said.

“Whoa, hey, oh-shit!” Jane said, as she nearly dropped her trunk.

Frigga laughed.

“Again, my dears. Put your trunks down and call them to you. Excellent! And once more…”

* * *

Austin arrived with his mother, Paula, and Loki made the pretty. It blissfully did not last long, as quite quickly after arrival Austin made clear his intention to teach Loki how to drive his new car, Paula pleaded a headache and made to return to her hotel in Roswell. Just as well. Loki didn’t quite know what to do with the woman. A retired teacher of small children, Paula seemed at first glance to be a somewhat shrill and overbearing woman. He could fully understand how such a demeanor could come in quite handy with those humans whose cognitive function was not fully developed, but for those with their full faculties it was all too much. Loki was hard put to understand how Darcy could be so closely related to her. Or Austin, really. Still, she was not a duplicitous woman, indeed Paula was all too reliable in her thinking to be even slightly chaotic in nature, and he had a thought that her sense of humor would not be described as ‘mischievous’ so much as ‘staid’, so perhaps that is why Loki had difficulty relating to her. He shrugged it off and made a mental note to be on the lookout for her finer qualities, or possibly inquire after them after all his new family had left.

When Austin had ascertained that Loki knew nothing about driving a car, nor indeed anything about the internal combustion engine, the lesson began in earnest. Under the ‘hood’, Austin pointed out the different organs of the beast, the different systems and functions they were involved in, the necessity of regular maintenance - of gasoline refills and oil changes - and of the semi-regular maintenance of air filters, tire rotations, brake systems, transmission. He described octane, manual transmission, the clutch, gears, gas, brake, and steering. The variety of controls inside of the cockpit was dizzying at first, but Austin quickly made them all quite plain. Then he pulled up his phone as he started describing ‘the rules of the road’ and all such signs as Loki was likely to see. When Austin reminded him that with this ton of steel going sixty miles an hour he could kill people without even meaning to, including Darcy and himself, his focus sharpened even more. Loki patiently took it all in.

Two hours later, they were driving with Austin ‘at the wheel’, and Loki was watching him, analyzing his movements. He was starting to feel the difference when the car changed gears, though Austin had assured him that the Porsche was super smooth and it was harder to tell. He learned the difference between highway driving - where there was not much changing of gears at all - and city driving, so called even when not in a city - where there was a very high level of changing gears, seemingly every ten seconds. Stop signs, he felt, would be very annoying, indeed. Though driving a manual transmission in the city seemed akin to the general pace of life on Midgard, perhaps it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise to Loki, after all.

The first twenty minutes of driving were nightmarish. The clutch did not want to behave and the gears conspired against him. Loki, however, kept his countenance. He could master this complicated bit of Midgardian machinery, and he would. He coaxed it, speaking sweetly and low in his native Aesir.

_“Don’t you want to want to perform for me, sweetheart?”_ \- Austin had informed him that for reasons having to do with history of the Western world, all methods of conveyance in the English language were considered feminine, an oddity of an otherwise neuter language, to be sure - _“You’re a fine machine, and beautifully made. Why won’t you be smooth for me, darling? Why won’t you be lovely for me? Tell me how to touch you, my sweet, and I will make you hum, I shall make you sing as we travel swiftly together. Come now, my darling, and tell me how to touch you, and when, so that you may be just as blissful as we both know you can be.”_

In the twenty-first minute, Loki managed it.

Austin and Loki spent the next two hours ‘tooling’ around, stopping to get something to eat, and then continuing on. They chatted about many things, driving mostly, and when the sun started to set, Austin navigated them on a course back to the little village that was Loki’s home.

* * *

The interviews had flown by. Darcy had two rounds with the three young-looking Asgardian women for the position of personal maid, all of whom Frigga privately assured Darcy were knowledgeable, discrete, utterly loyal, indifferent to Loki, and positive toward Midgard and living there for the foreseeable future, with occasional visits home during free time, and during the festival of the Harvest.

Darcy really couldn’t choose.

Darcy also had two rounds with three less-young-looking Asgardian shieldmaiden-sorceresses for the position of personal bodyguard/assistant, all of whom Frigga privately assured Darcy were exactly like the maid applicants, except that they also were powerful sorceresses and formidable shieldmaidens.

And, Darcy couldn’t really choose there, either.

The three of them sat in the garden alone after Darcy’s interviews, discussing.

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” Darcy said, from behind her hands which now covered her face. “And anyway, I’m just a lame spaz most of the time and whoever I choose, they’re going to _judge me like crazy, I just know it_.”

Frigga laughed, and it was full of rainbows and sunlight. Loki obviously got the laugh from his mom.

“Oh, Darcy. You are young. And like many youth, you truly understand neither your capacity nor your worth. Whomever you choose will be honored with that choice. I promise you it is so. If they did not want the position, they would not have come. And if they do not suit, send them back. They will not be reprimanded - not everyone gets along with everyone else, and that is nothing of which to be ashamed. They wish only to help you with whatever it is you require. And you will need to teach them many things of your realm, so that you are not embarrassed by their inadequate cultural knowledge. It will be work for you, at first, as you integrate them into your life, and then? Then everything will be easier for you.

“So. Having said that, what does your instinct tell you?”

Without thinking too hard about it, Darcy just answered from her gut. “The first maid, and the third sorceress. Gah! I don’t even remember their names. Isn’t that terrible? I’m terrible at this already.”

“Dagmar is the maid and Borghild is the sorceress.”

“Dagmar and Borghild, Dagmar and Borghild, Dagmar and Borghild, Dagmar and Borghild, Dagmar and Borghild, Dagmar and Borghild, Dagmar and Borghild. Dagmar. Borghild. Got it.”

That finished up, word was sent to all the applicants and to Dagmar and Borghild. Darcy couldn’t imagine needing them for the next month, and maybe two on the outside. She was pretty sure that finding them a larger headquarters with significantly more residential space in the interim was going to be her responsibility.

Then came the interviews for the precocious magicians who hadn’t drunk the Kool-Aid and who didn’t think that the Realm Eternal was the shit, period the end.

For this, Frigga put illusions over Darcy and Jane so that they would appear, to each different applicant, as various dwarves, light elves, and vanir. They had agreed on questions before they called the first to interview, and had agreed that Frigga would ask them so that Darcy and Jane could preserve anonymity for now - of the utmost importance, as Frigga explained.

“Opinions vary concerning Midgard, you see. The last time anyone but Loki took any interest was but a few centuries after the Jotunn-Aesir War, more than a thousand years ago. Midgard was not quite so interesting, nor quite so advanced as it is now. We need to know if anyone harbors a deep negative emotion toward your realm, as that would make difficult your work. And to know, we must put them at ease. And you certainly must not appear to be Human.”

And so the questions were asked, one after another, the same to each of the dozen young mages - six women and six men.

_“You must answer as honestly as you are able. You have my word as the All-Mother that your answers will not be reported back to your masters, nor will they be held against you in any of your ventures on Asgard. We are interviewing for new opportunities which would necessitate uprooting you for the rest of your apprenticeship, as you would finish it under a new master. If you are chosen and the rigors of the position prove too much for you, you will be returned to your old master with no reprimand or punishment._

_“What is your hope for the future of your home realm?_

_“What is your hope for cooperation between the nine realms?_

_“What is your feeling concerning other realms?_

_“What is your feeling concerning the standard mindset of sorceresses concerning innovation and change?_

_“What is your feeling concerning dwarves?_

_“What is your feeling concerning light elves?_

_“What is your feeling concerning jotunn?_

_“What is your feeling concerning humans?_

_“How do you feel about working closely with other races?_

_“Under what circumstances would working with different races be difficult? Intolerable?_

_“How do you feel about apprenticing under Prince Loki?_

* * *

Darcy watched as every single apprentice - all twelve - reacted to the last question as if they’d been asked if they’d like to be besties with Kate Middleton, or you know, the rockstar of your choosing. There was almost some drooling and foaming at the mouth, there, with each of the six fanboys. Darcy tried to remember that all of the applicants were the emotional equivalent to, maybe, sixteen year olds. Maybe. They could do a lot, but their brains weren’t done developing and they couldn’t be trusted with alcohol.

Loki had mentioned that he’d never taken on apprentices. Perhaps if he had he wouldn’t have such a skewed view of himself.

Then again, hadn’t he said that the standard training interval was three hundred years? And he’d gone an extra five centuries?

Well. Warriors may mock him, but his fellow mages thought he hung the moon, apparently.

Which, in Darcy’s humble opinion, was about right. She was jarred from her thoughts, however, when Jane spoke.

“Um, can I have them all?” Jane asked when the first round of interviews with the sorcerer’s apprentices were all finished.

Frigga laughed and clapped her hands together. “Of course! How soon will you be able to take them? And of course you must be provided with all necessary funding for this entire project. Loki shall see to that.”

The look in Jane’s eye said she was about to make promises that Darcy wouldn’t be able to keep.

“Six weeks. No sooner.” The look in Jane’s eye was now keenly disappointed. “Oh, come on!” Darcy said. “We’ve got to house them, feed them, set up at least remedial training areas, and hello - set up a course of study for them!”

Jane was clearly somewhat saddened by the reality check, but was obviously now doing her own mental calculations. “Uh. Yeah. Actually, three months would be good. And, yeah. We’re going to need a business manager, an accountant, a lawyer, and at least two adjuncts.”

“And you’re going to need an actual assistant. In addition _to_ , kind of thing.” Darcy said, trying not to mention the word ‘Thor’. Let Frigga know about that latter, from Loki. “Not ‘instead of’.” Because Jane was not getting out of this, no, no, no.

Jane narrowed her eyes at Darcy, but relented a moment later. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.”

“So, are you going to name it the Royal Asgardian Institute or the Jane Foster Institute?” Darcy asked, cheekily, changing the subject.

Jane snorted. “Royal Asgardian! You can’t name something after me until I’m dead, anyway. Name a Chair of Astrophysics after me when I go, willya?” Jane asked, smirking.

“You got it,” Darcy said happily, completely missing Frigga’s momentarily distraught look and temporary loss of color.

* * *

Each dress was dispatched back to its team of seamstresses the moment Darcy and Jane finished trying it on and having it adjusted.

The armor was… interesting. Darcy had half-thought it would be laid out on the bed, maybe, but there were two wire stands obviously mimicking a feminine form and all the armor was in place, on the stands. There was a lot of armor. For both of them. And flanking the armor stood two upright racks, filled with identical weaponry laid out symmetrically.

“Are we going into battle?” Darcy asked, almost without any sarcasm.

“No, just marriage,” Frigga replied dryly.

Frigga pointed to the pieces of armor that Darcy would be wearing, from the set on the wire dummy on the right. Both shoulder bits, both boob bits, the funky arching ‘I could totally wear that while pregnant’ upper abdomen/lower chest piece, and the right forearm bit. Jane, on the other hand, would only be wearing the right shoulder bit, the right boob bit, and the right forearm bit. Darcy was almost really trying to pay attention, except that she noticed the fine detail work over her armor. Which was _beautiful_. She glanced over to Jane’s, and hers was _gorgeous_.

Jane’s armor was decorated with galaxies swirling behind Yggdrasil, Darcy was pretty sure.

But Darcy’s? Darcy’s had saguaro cacti in bloom.

She blinked rapidly, trying to will the tears away as she remembered telling Loki that first night about her home, about Tucson.

_“Sonora National Forest is the only one of it’s kind that is a forest of cacti, and it’s mainly these big, gorgeous ones called saguaro, and in a parched desert, they’re filled with water, and so naturally covered with spines, but once a year they bloom and it’s amazing… And they’re only found in the Sonoran Desert, which stretches from just the bottom of Arizona down into Mexico. My home.”_

And then she’d showed him pictures from her phone.

She got caught up in Jane’s hug before she realized that tears were streaming down her face.

“Sorry, I,” she paused to sniffle into Jane’s hair. “I don’t even know why I’m crying.” Except that all of the sudden she missed Loki _very badly_. She imagined just briefly that it was his arms around her so that she could say thank you right now.

Of course, that only worked for half a heartbeat, as no one could mistake Jane for Loki, at least not for long.

* * *

Loki was punched sideways in the middle of listening to Austin, though he endeavored not to show anything was amiss.

Darcy. Something was wrong with Darcy. And he had no idea _what_. She was supposed to be _safe_...

Loki was two mental steps away from dashing back to Asgard and only one away from sheer, bloody panic when the next instant occurred. In that next instant he felt her embrace as surely as if she were standing before him.

_‘Thank you, Loki,’_ he heard her whisper through tears.

In the next instant, it was gone. Everything was gone, no thought, no feeling, no sensation of desperation. All was quiet and Austin was still talking.

Loki could hear the blood pounding through his veins louder than Austin’s words. He cast a brief illusion so that he could take the deep breaths he needed to try to calm down and return to normal without being noticed.

He tried to tell himself that if those had been Darcy’s last words, it would have been, ‘I love you, Loki’, rather than, ‘Thank you, Loki’. It would not do to interrupt her private time with his Mother if it were not a matter of Darcy’s immanent death. When fully five minutes had passed and no word had come to him he started to truly calm. Darcy was a woman of strong emotion and stronger potential, and she was very, very untrained. These missteps were bound to happen. O, but how he wanted her now! Just to hold her and reassure himself of her safety, of her continued presence in his life. Just to hold her and kiss her face.

Loki had missed Darcy earlier in the day when he first walked along the river. There had been the span of a heartbeat when he had so keenly wanted to share the moment with her, but that had made no sense at all. She hadn’t been gone more than four hours at that point and he’d been there to meditate, which was difficult to do when she was awake and focused on him. Seeking some kind of understanding of this feeling, he tried to attribute it to his quite rational concern for her safety. But that would not do. He dismissed it out of hand - she was in Asgard, and under the watchful eye of his mother. There was no safer place for Darcy.

Darcy.

When exactly had he realized that his interest in her was love? Loki scoffed inside, even remembering how mildly he would have categorized such an overwhelming sensation. ‘Interest’ indeed. But how does one describe the utterly new, the utterly novel sensation of a profound emotion one has never, actually met before? Certainly, the love he felt for his family could not compare with the love he felt for Darcy, though the truth and honesty in which he loved his family could never be in doubt.

No, not one emotion. What he felt for Darcy was much, but not all, of what he felt for his family, but added to it an unquantifiable devotion, a deep instinct for her preservation, a yearning to be in proximity, a bewitchment, and yes, of course, the unforeseen satisfaction of finding complete sexual fulfillment with a thoroughly compatible partner.

And yet it was more, still, than even that.

She was a balm to his soul. She delighted his senses. She refreshed his trust in the innate goodness of people. She amused him, heartily. She was trustworthy, in a land of liars and sycophants.

And at the first, what could he know of all of this?

At first he knew only that he was particularly interested in her. _Interest_. Phah!

Fascination, bemusement, profound curiosity, and no small measure of lust could all better be used to describe the woman whose first words he heard were, _‘There’s a dude chilling in your science zone.’_

The assistant.

His head had been so filled with grand plans of proving himself on Midgard to his adopted realm and his adopted father. Could he have possibly noticed anything other than the most upper, most exposed surfaces of his attachment to her? Could he honestly have known in those first moments when his profound pain and rage had been only just slightly banked by a day’s meditation that he’d finally found the woman who held his heart’s desire?

No.

Loki took a deep breath and forgave himself for not realizing that he’d experienced love at first sight until several hours, part of a meal, an argument, an apology, and a handful of orgasms later. He’d been preoccupied with running away from home.

And still, even now. Darcy was the most perfect distraction that Yggdrasil had yet produced, but the pain still lingered. He was filled with a slow burning fire of a pain, but it somehow did not seem to center on himself and what he could do or be, but rather on his connection with others, and what he could not be or could not offer them.

He couldn’t be Aesir.

He couldn’t be the ruler of Asgard.

He couldn’t be the equal of Thor.

He couldn’t be accepted or trusted.

He couldn’t be man enough.

He couldn’t be good enough.

And then the assistant showed up, blithely introduced herself and sat down to talk to him like she’d travelled for an hour just for the privilege.

His entire life, every story had been about someone else. Increasingly, as he grew older, there were more and more stories of Thor.

Loki had never been the hero of any tale told at court, regardless of his role in an adventure.

Loki had never been the focus of an epic love poem, regardless of how many women he tried to court.

And then the assistant showed up and suddenly _it was all about Loki._

Now he found himself in a chess game with SHIELD, and a deeper game of war with an unknown opponent, which would eventually lead to open adventures of an undoubtedly striking variety.

Now he found himself as the romantic hero in the most erotically charged love story that would ever be told in the annals of the Realm Eternal, should he ever decide to make mischief on the level of holy havok and actually tell of it.

Loki was still in pain, but now felt guilty for it. Which was ridiculous. And yet, the evidence lay before him quite clearly, each side damning the other in deaf anger, insensible to what the first had to say.

He wasn’t a hero, and he couldn’t be.

He was a hero, he was demonstrating it.

He wasn’t a lover, and he’d failed horribly.

He was a lover, and he was a satisfying one at that.

He wasn’t Aesir, and nothing else was good enough.

He was Jotunn, and who cared?

He wasn’t the equal of Thor.

Thor is no longer the equal of ‘Thor’, and Loki had always been far wiser than both.

He wasn’t fully a man, how could he be such a sorcerer if he were?

He was the very definition of manhood, and he was also a sorcerer.

He wasn’t accepted or trusted.

He was accepted and trusted.

He wasn’t good enough.

He was good enough.

Torn. Loki was torn in two different directions, each side so seductive. One side felt too good to be true. The other side felt too terrible not to be.

His guiding star was Darcy, and he sincerely hoped that he was making a mountain of a molehill, and hadn’t just failed her gravely.


	17. Wherein there is a wedding.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy Lewis and Loki Odinson get married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been super awesome and I love you! Though this is the last chapter of the story, this is not the end! Chapter one of Book Two is already finished and awaiting editing and should be up in a few days. Subscribe to the series so you know when!

A quick lesson to make sure that Darcy and Jane wouldn’t accidentally slice their own fingers off taking their blades in or out of the sheaths was all there was time for. Darcy bathed as Jane was given the rundown of her clothes and then they switched.

And holy moly there were really a lot of clothes. As Darcy sat incredibly still while Dagmar did her hair (incorporating in a tiara! A TIARA! _**An actual tiara that an actual princess would wear, not a plastic one for New Year’s Eve!**_ ), Frigga and a nameless assistant reviewed the different clothing that had been made. Riding clothes. Training clothes. Dominatrix clothes. (Admittedly, not Frigga’s description, but leather pants were involved, and a lot more of her pretty exoskeleton could be incorporated.) Mid-day dresses. Feasting dresses. Festival dresses. Sleeping dresses. Wraps. Cloaks. Furs. Fancy underwear. Boots. Slippers. Slippery boots.

For each item that was picked up and described to her, usually with several layers, the previous one went into her open trunk, each in a new compartment. Most of her armor and most of her weapons were already safely tucked away, along with the clothes she came in, her Asgardian First Aid Kit, and her Invisibility Cloak. Jane’s trunk lay closed by the door, already packed.

At some point Frigga made a passing comment on the cloth that Darcy didn’t quite register. It had been teasing at her brain and when all of the extra clothing was folded and in the trunk, Darcy finally found the words she needed.

“Frigga, out of curiosity - and I don’t mean to offend, if I haven’t understood up until now - but, um, where has all of this cloth come from?”

“The threads came from a variety of sources across four realms - none from Midgard, I’m afraid - and of course I’ve woven it all.”

Darcy’s eyes went wide. There was clearly no end to the woman’s generosity, but Darcy couldn’t even process that far. The best she could do was repeat.

“You’ve… woven. It all.”

“Well, yes, of course. I am a master weaver. My excellent seamstresses have their duties, but I could hardly give the job of weaving to anyone else, could I? For my family?”

“You set a high standard of motherhood, I’d just like to say,” Darcy squeaked out.

“Oh, my dear! You must not judge yourself against me, just as I learned not to judge myself against Odin’s mother. That way lies madness! You have your own interests, and you will develop your own masteries and they will be gift enough to your family, and indeed, to many realms. I give only what I can, and nothing more. That is what you must do as well. Give the very best, the _very best_ of what you can, and not a single thing more. And if people look you askance, stare them down, Darcy, stare them down.”

“Thank you, Frigga,” Darcy whispered. Tears. Yep. Crying again. Damn. But, whatever. This was for a really good reason. Because Frigga… _understood her_ in a way Darcy’s mother never seemed to bother doing.

Then Darcy felt terribly guilty for comparing her poor mother, who did honestly try, to the Master of Family Relationships (Loki had mentioned it in passing last night), who also had four thousand more years of experience than her own mom. More or less.

Frigga smiled gently and knelt down to be on the level with Darcy as she sat and had her hair done. And sort of sniffled. “There, there, my dear. It has been quite an eventful day for you, has it not? And not quite finished yet, either.” Frigga smiled again. “So much is new, and what is not new, is changing. Such moments do come in life, though not often. Now, as then, you are surrounded by those who love you and wish you well. Once you are through this day you will have all the time you need to assimilate all of this newness and change into your life. And all shall be well. And now, look! Dagmar is finished with your hair. Run and fetch a poultice for her eyes from the bath and let Jane know you are ready for her,” Frigga said, finishing her words with a direction to Darcy’s new maid.

Oh, Lord! What is Dagmar going to think of her? Gak!

Tears started leaking out again, and Frigga dabbed them away with a handkerchief.

“You take this,” she said, handing the cloth to Darcy and standing up, “and come with me.”

They moved over to the bed where her wedding dress was laid out next to Jane’s dress. Darcy was already wearing a thin sort of under dress - Frigga called it a shift - and a hybrid between a sock and a stocking that went half way up her thigh and a pair of cream colored slippery boots, but there were more layers. The over dress was soft and creamy and Frigga helped her on with it, tying it up in the back. The laces were tight, but the dress itself was soft and drapey. The armor was next. First the right forearm bit, then the upper abdomen arc, the boob bits and the shoulder bits. They were held on partially with straps across her back, and partially with magic, but they weren’t actually attached to each other in the front, so Darcy could still wiggle, though slouching while sitting could be dangerous - the ends of the arc could dig straight into her hips if she wasn’t careful.

The weapons were next. Strangely, Darcy had kind of forgotten about them. Which was totally nuts because they were _right there_ in front of her, the only ones left on the stand. Darcy watched as Frigga fitted the three scabbards onto the most ornate and amazing leather belt Darcy had ever seen. The belt itself was brown and green with periodic holes along the length, worked into a motif of a vine with leaves. The leather scabbards continued the motif, only they also had cream colored flowers blooming along the lengths of the vines. Darcy watched as Frigga’s fingers nimbly laced the back of each scabbard to a certain point on the belt. She raised her hands up as instructed when Frigga wrapped the belt around her waist quite loosely so that it was just held up by her hips, and sagged down a little on the right.

It felt really strange.

Then Frigga put the weapons in the scabbards, and that felt even stranger.

The two daggers fell straight down her thighs, slightly off center. The short sword lay straight down off her hip, at the point where the belt sagged the most, exactly in the middle of Darcy’s right side.

Darcy was sort of stunned that Frigga was able to tie everything on exactly where she wanted without checking and double checking, but maybe she shouldn’t have been.

Frigga ran through several times how to pull out her blades and put them back in without slicing herself, or her clothing. Darcy was confused at first - in all the movies, the hero pulls his sword, well, off his back, or really, from the opposite side of his body. And it makes a metallic shiiiing sound. But like Loki and his battle daggers, whenever Frigga demonstrated the sword she always began with the blade down the length of her arm, rather than coming up from her fist like Darcy would imagine. And the entire endeavor was completely silent.

Jane was almost done with her hair, now, and Frigga was draping a long, long green velvet-like scarf around Darcy’s shoulders and back, hiding most of the armor straps. Another assistant was attaching Jane’s scabbards to her belt, but Darcy didn’t get a close look at them. Red seemed to be involved, though, and it was quite stunning from that far away.

“Now, we shall practice sitting. Jane, dear, you must pay attention to this as well.”

And then, in the next moment, Frigga had changed her clothes and her hair.

Her hair was in braids now, circling around her head, just under a really fantastic crown. Her gown was white and gold. Her armor was gold. Her weapons belt hung just as Darcy’s did. Her scarf was red, and hung just as Darcy’s had. She honestly looked like the queen of the valkyries, or at least what Darcy might have pictured, had she been asked.

Without missing a beat, she moved to some high backed chairs by the desk and invited Darcy to do the same.

“The first thing is to catch your scarf in your hand as subtly as you can. Next, with both hands now, place your palms on your scabbards - see here what I do on the right, with two? Yes, just like that. Now, you’re going to ever so slightly push the entire ensemble up your hips, you see? As you begin to sit down. That way a handle does not make itself unpleasantly known to your abdomen. Try it. Almost. Try again. Yes, that’s right.”

Scabbards, check. Scarf? Yeah, no.

“Now, when you rise up again, you want your palms to gently press on the scabbards, just as before, because you want to be able to guide your belt back into the position that you choose. Do not worry if your dress comes up a bit when you sit, as it will come right back down when you stand.”

Oooo, and of course Frigga makes it _all look so damn easy._

Sitting down wasn’t so bad. Getting back up again without looking like a hot mess took Darcy more practice than she would have thought. Jane was finished dressing and practicing herself by the time Darcy managed to get up, have her belt in the right place and her dress in the right place at the same time. The scarf was a lost cause.

And then they were getting ready to leave. Frigga was giving a few final instructions to Dagmar, who would apparently not be accompanying them. And apparently, the procession started right exactly from the outside of this door, the moment it opened.

All too soon, Frigga asked, “Are you ready, Darcy? Jane?”

“Wait!” Darcy said at the last moment. Frigga waited and Jane groaned a tiny little groan, but Darcy dashed the eight steps away to where the trunks were to hug a very surprised Dagmar. “Thanks,” she said quietly. “I’ll see you soon.”

The maid never unstiffened, the look of shock plain on her face, and so Darcy didn’t inquire further, getting back in line between Frigga and Jane - the former looking way regal, the latter looking way anonymous with her red velvetish scarf also wrapped around her head and draping a bit to obscure her face from the side.

And then, just as quickly as Frigga had changed, not five minutes ago, a big effing glaive - er, something like a glaive - appeared in her right hand. She lowered the end to the floor and there was thud that made it seem like she’d done it a lot harder than what Darcy just witnessed. Which was apparently the cue for the door to open from the outside.

And holy shit, the hall was _stuffed with people_. There was a narrow aisle down the center… and the moment the door opened, people started tossing flowers and flower petals on the floor. Darcy couldn’t see directly ahead - that’s where Frigga was - but the double door to her and Loki’s suite was really quite huge.

“Remember to smile, Darce,” Jane whispered. And then added, “You got this, sweetie.”

Darcy smiled. Sort of. A little. And followed behind Frigga the way she was supposed to - mostly. Four steps between Frigga and Darcy, four steps between Darcy and Jane.

All she had to do was follow her, and that’s what she did. Sometimes she met people’s eyes, but there were _so many of them_ and it was actually kind of difficult to do that and keep the right pace.

It was so weird.

And also, people were whispering her name.

_Darcy_

_Darcy of Midgard_

_Loki’s Darcy_

_Princess Darcy_

_Darcy Jackdottir_

_Darcy of Asgard_

_Darcy Lewis_

_Darcy_

_Darcy_

_Darcy Darcy Darcy Darcy_

It was a really long walk. With every step the daggers and sword were alternately pushed by her thighs and then gently slapped back down again. With every step her slippery boots softly crunched petals and sometimes entire flowers. There was no avoiding them. They were everywhere, while it seemed a shame, she didn’t want to do a strange dance, tiptoeing around them.

She could picture it in her head. Almost struck by a case of the giggles, Darcy managed to calm herself by taking several deep breaths before replastering the little smile on her face.

And yet, the walk continued.

There were a lot of stairs. Like, a lot, a lot. They were all wide and shallow, easy to walk down at a slow pace. But Darcy couldn’t actually imagine having to walk up all of them. Regularly. Darcy imagined that there might have been twelve flights of stairs - and all of the levels had really, really tall ceilings - but that would explain how high up in the building they were.

Was it a palace? Did they have a palace on Asgard, or was it the equivalent of the White House? Or no, maybe that didn’t make sense. Was she making sense anymore?

Dear God it had been a long day.

And this was a long, effing walk is what it was.

Suddenly Darcy became terrified that she was going to slip on a flower petal and go rocketing down the stairs, taking Frigga out as she went.

Because oh yes, people were lining the stairs - two or three deep - and there were flowers here, too.

Was that safe? That wasn’t safe.

Smile.

Smile.

Right.

Smiling.

Oh, thank God. The end of the stairs. Could this be the end of the stairs, please? Isn’t this an advanced civilization? Why are there this many stairs?

A short walk through a huge hallway later and there were more stairs, but this time they led to the outside, where it was night and - where oh, holy fuck.

Apparently all of Asgard had come out to catch a glimpse.

The roar was deafening. Okay, not quite, not as bad as some concerts she’d been at, but this was really, really loud.

And they were yelling her name. Not chanting it, mind. It was a cacophony.

_DARCY! PRINCESS DARCY! DARCY! DARCY OF ASGARD! DARCY OF MIDGARD! DARCY! DARCY! DARCY JACKDOTTIR! DARCY! DARCY! LOKI’S DARCY! DARCY! DARCY! DARCY LEWIS! DARCY OF ASGARD! DARCY OF ASGARD! DARCY OF ASGARD! DARCY OF ASGARD!_

_DARCY OF ASGARD!_

_DARCY OF ASGARD!_

_ DARCY OF ASGARD! _

And the flowers…

Noticing the carriage as an afterthought, Darcy mostly noticed when Frigga was no longer standing in front of her and some large guy in a funny hat (helmet, Darcy!) had a hand extended to help her enter it.

Frigga never mentioned this part, and Darcy was wearing a nearly floor length gown with weapons. But she took the guy’s hand in her right and grabbed her dress as delicately as she could with her left to try to do this without tripping and killing herself. What a horrible way to go.

She almost forgot to attempt scarf management and do the thing with her palms on the scabbards as she was directed by Frigga to sit next to her, facing the horses, but Frigga mouthed ‘Scabbard’ just at the last moment, and Darcy managed it without looking like a complete dufus. Darcy took a deep breath as Jane got herself seated - Frigga silently reminded her, too - and then Jane and Darcy shared a look which was filled with at least eight What The Fuck’s and several Oh For Fuck’s Sake’s as well. It ended for both of them with wide eyes, unbelieving smiles and somewhat restrained laughter.

“Now, my dears,” Frigga said in slight admonishment. “Laughing will give the wrong impression, but do remember to smile, if you can.”

The guy driving the carriage coaxed the horses into the slowest walk _in the history of ever_ and the roar intensified for a moment. And then the flowers started again, but this time many of them were tossed actually in the carriage.

“Pretty sure a flower just beaned me in the back of the head,” Jane said, still smiling and speaking without moving her lips too much.

“Yep, totally did. I saw it. I was there. You gonna press charges?” Darcy said, trying to speak the same way, through her smile.

They both heard Frigga’s huff and when they glanced over, her smile was more contained, but she was clearly trying not to laugh. “Stop that, or you’ll have me laughing as well. And that will not do,” Frigga said through her smile.

“Yes, Frigga,” both young women chorused back in stereo, causing all three women to restrain laughter more or less well.

Twenty minutes later the crowds were as thick as ever and they were just getting to a wall with a pair of _really effing huge golden doors_ that were flanked by guards. The doors stood open. And beyond was…

“Whoa,” Darcy said, and forgot to smile.

And that is when it dawned on Darcy that when she arrived earlier in the day, the thing that Darcy didn’t do, standing outside of the Observatory just before Frigga whisked them away, _was turn around._

It was night, sure. There were lanterns. But there was no night sky on Earth like this. Darcy was pretty sure that the Starship Enterprise might have a view like this, if they navigated right and were very lucky.

There was a galaxy, like, _right there_. Bigger than the moon would have been. And other spacey bits. Like, a planet? Or three? Or were those moons? And also, all the water below them seemed to be rushing towards a waterfall that would make Niagara Falls blush, though it was hard to tell for certain from her current angle. Oh, and the bridge also seemed to be made of rainbows and unicorn horns. But, whatever.

“Can Jane turn around now?” Darcy asked, certain her eyes were huge. “Because this is the money shot.”

“Yes,” Frigga said, as they went through the doors and began to leave the crowds behind.

“Oh my sweet holy baby Jesus in a friggin blanket...” Jane breathed.

“It is quite beautiful, is it not? It is one of the gifts that our gatekeeper offers to us.”

“So,” Darcy began in her calmest voice, “that’s not your normal night sky, then?”

“Sure as hell’s not what’s behind you,” Jane pointed out in a murmur over her shoulder.

“Well,” said Frigga, answering Darcy’s question, “it has been for some time.”

“I really want to get to know your gatekeeper, Frigga,” Jane said, her back still turned.

“Another time and I shall grant your request, Jane, dear,” the queen responded.

“Thanks,” Jane said, her voice still one of awe.

The horses picked up the pace across the bridge and Darcy decided that not looking too closely to the sides was the way to go, because of reasons having to do with the sudden bout of vertigo she was experiencing. It was a very slim bridge. And the water was a very long way down. And Asgard obviously thought that guard rails were for wimps.

Looking inside the carriage, her attention was drawn back to the flowers. Holy shit, the flowers. They were easily four inches deep on the floor, and all over the three women and the seats.

“Frigga, there’s a tradition on Ear-Midgard about the bride carrying flowers, just for the very first part, and then handing them off. Would you mind if I gathered some of these and brought them in?”

“What a charming tradition. Of course you must have the flowers,” Frigga said with a smile.

It’s possible, Darcy thought, that Frigga has said most every single phrase since Darcy arrived with a smile on her face. It was weird to consider, but there it was. And it all always seemed to be genuine, and this time was no exception.

Darcy started gathering up some of the flowers with long stems that still looked good after who knows what kind of trip to the procession, and then being thrown into the carriage. The colors were riotous and no particular bloom looked familiar to her, but their beauty appealed to her in a kind of, well, chaotic way.

The carriage stopped in front of the Observatory and a guard opened the door on the other side. Darcy watched as Frigga murmured something to the guard, and then gracefully stood (how did she make the thing with the scabbards and the scarf look so darn natural? And with flowers cascading off of her at the same time?), picked up the not-glaive and descended from the carriage without help.

Yeah, no. Darcy would definitely need a hand down, and happily, the guard was holding one out for her.

Jane took her flowers just while she tried to stand without looking like a dufus, and then Darcy got them back again. Frigga was already moving on, and so Darcy tried to be snappy, without, you know, slipping on the flowers and face planting on the unicorn bridge. She totally managed, and when she walked a few paces and glanced back, Jane was getting out successfully as well, looking fantastically mysterious and elegant. Damn, she needed pictures of all of this. Why had she given her cell phone to Loki? Gah. Stupid lack of planning. At least he would remember to bring it. The man never forgot anything.

 _Loki!_ She’d get to see Loki in like, T-10 seconds! _Hi, Loki!_ she thought as loudly as she could and was greeted, before she even entered the crazy golden space ball, with _his laugh_.

Darcy totally wanted to wrap herself in his laugh and go masturbate or something.

_More laughing! Eeeee!_

Darcy knew she was beaming when she walked into the room and it took her a moment to find the man who made her smile like such a happy fool.

She saw his eyes were wide and his jaw was gaping just a tiny bit as he stared at her.

 _Hello, Handsome,_ she thought. And then added aloud, “Nice hat.”

And what a hat it was. Really, his ceremonial armor was spiffy, and significantly shinier than what he wanted to wear while training. And apparently, his battle helmet was _sedate_ compared to his ceremonial helmet, which holy shit with the horns and the shiney gold. And there was a green cape. The leather pants, Darcy was happy to note, where still present, but he was wearing a weapons belt slung low around his hips, his two battle daggers strapped to his thighs, as well as his waist. And, hello, Loki’s glaive was present. Well, both of them were, actually.

_You’re seriously going to go through this ceremony with a hard on? Seriously?_

Loki closed his mouth and narrowed his eyes as he handed off the hand-held glaive to Austin - oh, hey! The fam was here! Awesome sauce! - and swept over to her. Literally. He swept. And then went down on one knee. And then there were shards of green and then a red box in his hand.

Wait. Powder blue meant Tiffany. Didn’t red mean Cartier?

She glanced up at him and was vaguely aware that he’d just opened the box, but she couldn’t be bothered to see what the ring looked like. She was too busy looking at him. A tiny smile from Loki and a quirk of his eyebrow, and then he was speaking. Ooooo, she’d missed his voice!

“Darcy Lewis, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she answered, totally censoring all possible snarky replies, of which there were, like, a seriously large number.

She glanced down at the ring and really, it was only the complete overwhelment of the day and the receiving of magical quest gifts four hundred years in the making that kept her from fawning over the prettiest ring she’d ever seen.

Darcy held out her left hand and Loki fit the ring on her finger. It was big at first, but he held his fingers there and it got smaller just a bit, until it fit.

Loki rose to his feet - he didn’t have to touch his scabbards because his scabbards were tied to his legs! - and guided her across the room, back toward where his mother was standing. Darcy noticed that all of the flowers from the carriage had been brought in and strewn in a circle.

Frigga stood to the back of the circle, near the wall, and invited everyone to come into the circle, easily and eloquently indicating where everyone should stand. Darcy and Loki right in front of her. Jane, behind Darcy. Austin, behind Loki. Aiden, Dad, and Mom in a kind of semi circle between Jane and Austin. Honestly, it looked like the way people would naturally walk toward an event and stop at a good place, if people weren’t weird and clumpy and tended to get into each other’s personal space without noticing.

And then Frigga started chanting. Whatever language she was using wasn’t being translated, but it was marvelously lyrical and sounded to Darcy’s untrained ears vaguely Scandinavian.

Darcy watched as Loki made a move to undo the fastenings at his left wrist and start rolling the fabric away from his forearm. She passed off her ad hoc bouquet of flowers to Aiden - she was going to give them to Jane, but at the last minute changed her mind - and tried to be neat about rolling up her own left sleeve.

Frigga paused in her chanting and Loki held out his hand. When Darcy went to take it, he surprised her by taking her elbow instead, his forearm held to hers. She glanced up at him as she did the same and was reassured by his smile. Of course this had been mentioned to Darcy at some point in the last three days, but then, so had a lot of things.

And then, sweet Jesus, Loki started to chant. He was looking into her eyes and clearly in the grip of a powerful emotion as he sang to her softly and slowly. Well, no, she had no idea what he was saying, but it was really beautiful - wait, did he just say the word ‘Ragnarok’?

When he finished,  Frigga looked to her and asked Darcy to repeat after her. And of course, what she said was in a chant.

Singing in front of people without radio accompaniment or the separation of the bathroom door was not Darcy’s favorite thing to do. Well, time to woman-up, girl-o. She looked into Loki’s green eyes and focused on the love she saw there. Okay. She could totally do this.

“I come to you freely, Loki of Asgard,” she chanted, and waited for the next phrase from Frigga.

“I offer you my whole self,” Oh. Oh. Was this was Loki had been saying?

“Throughout all the conditions of my life,

“Until the end of the age, and beyond,”

And Darcy thought there would be more, but apparently it was Frigga’s turn to chant a bit. So, that happened. And then it was Loki’s turn again.

He stared into her eyes, his look intensifying somehow, and Darcy knew that whatever he was saying, he meant every word. And if her vows were the same, she’d know what those words were in just a second. And damn, his voice was beautiful.

When Loki was finished, Frigga pulled a rope that had been knotted around her wrist like a bracelet and took half of it and wrapped it around their forearms, but left the other half hanging as she turned to Darcy and began the second repeat-after-me portion of the ritual.

“Loki of Asgard, I accept your offer,

“I pledge to you my sword,”

“Draw your sword and hold it at your side,” Frigga whispered, before chanting the next phrase for her. Darcy did so, then continued.

“I pledge to you my heart,

“I pledge to you my mind,

“I pledge to you my fidelity,”

And yet again, Darcy expected something else, but whatever. Frigga finished wrapping the rope around their forearms before turning slightly to Jane, whose turn it was to repeat-after-her.

“Loki of Asgard, Darcy Lewis,

“I, Jane Foster, pledge to you my sword,” And then Jane drew her sword, though Darcy couldn’t see.

“Should any seek to make you forsworn,

“Of the promises you make today.”

And then Frigga began chanting again and Darcy thought she might have caught her name this time. Frigga drew her sword and then after a few moments, replaced it again.

Loki’s hand squeezed her elbow just before the rope started sinking into their arms, becoming a light blue tattoo with the short, sharp sting that Darcy still wasn’t used to. She almost dropped her sword. She heard a few gasps from her family.

“And now, my son, my daughter, I give you my own blessing,” Frigga said, in English, without chanting. “May your lives together be harmonious and full of joy. May you strive, not to be right, but to be happy. May you learn the lessons you are given quickly and painlessly. May all whose lives you touch be enlightened by your presence.”

Darcy gave an involuntary shiver and then took a deep breath. And that was that. Darcy could tell by the way that Frigga was standing - less stiffly, and now with her hands clapped in front of her - that they were finished. It was really surprisingly brief, compared to what Darcy though was--

“Eeek!”

Loki had moved almost quicker than she could follow, letting go of her elbow, tossing the glaive into interdimensional storage, grabbing Darcy around the waist and then sweeping her off her feet. He twirled her around him in a circle, laughing, and it was the happiest sound Darcy had ever heard in her life.

It was exciting, because it was Loki, and kind of scary, because she was still holding onto a sword.

And then Loki set her down on her feet, plucked the sword from her hand, put it back in its scabbard without even looking - or slicing Darcy’s dress, way impressive - and with the other hand, took the back of her neck and drew her in for the kiss she’d been waiting for. He bent down to kiss her, which meant his helmet full of horns also got quite close, and still smiling angled his face to meet hers.

“I love you,” he whispered just before his lips slanted over hers.

She sighed into the kiss. _And I love you._

There was only the slightest amount of tongue before he pulled back, smiling again. Darcy wondered if the smile was permanently affixed, now.

Loki quirked an eyebrow and shrugged in response. _Possibly_ , his body language said.

With Loki’s arm around her waist, introductions were made. There was only the briefest amount of small talk before the queen caught Jane up in an embrace. Then it was Darcy’s turn.

“After your honeymoon, you must come and visit me again.”

“I will. And thank you so much, Frigga.”

“Oh, Darcy. Thank _you_ ,” she said, releasing her partially and leaning in to kiss her forehead.

And then it was Loki’s turn. His helmet disappeared and he embraced his mother for a long moment. When she released him to kiss him on the forehead, Darcy could see the tears in her eyes. When he released her and turned back to Darcy, she could see the tears in his, too, though he was still smiling. He swept Darcy up in another kiss before walking with her to the other side of the room. He kissed her again, but she was startled out of her Loki-induced happy place by the grinding and whirring of the room all around her.

Time to go.

Loki drew his hands down her arms until he only held her hands in his. “Do you trust me?” he asked, the glint in his eye magnified by the joy on his face.

“Yes, Mischief, I trust you,” she said, her voice telling him exactly how far she trusted him when he asked ‘do you trust me?’ with that look. But it was far enough. It would always be far enough.

He let go of her left hand and tightened his grip on her right. They faced the swirling vortex that was starting to pull a bit. And suddenly, Darcy remembered how Loki had happily _leapt_ into the wormhole earlier in the morning.

“You’re not joking, are you?” Darcy asked, raising her voice to be heard.

Loki threw his head back and laughed.

And then Darcy thought differently - it was time to embrace the chaos. And the Chaos.

“Take three steps, then jump!” he said loudly, and just barely loud enough to hear.

Well, fuck it.

“Ready?” Darcy yelled. “And, go!”

One.

Two.

Three.

Jump.

_Fuck!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the first book, entitled in my head ‘Loki of Midgard: How to get lost and found in one week, A love story’. This has been a 90,000 word adventure. Thanks for coming on it with me! 
> 
> The next book takes up right where this one leaves off and is entitled in my head, ‘The Crown Prince: Casting a long shadow’. It will also end up being a love story. Mostly because I’m writing it and I seem incapable of writing much else. And yes, it will still be about Loki. Because this whole series is really about Loki. (Note the name of the series!)
> 
> So, don’t forget to subscribe to this series so you know when chapter one comes out. :) Which should be quite shortly.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, what do you think? The story is complete - at least, the first book of the series - and really, there was quite a lot going on there. Didja like it? 
> 
> And if you _really_ liked it, sign up on my mailing list to hear word of when I publish the _**original fiction**_ version of this story which is even more awesome and full of win that this very cool rough draft has been. (No really. It got even better, and there are more scenes and less continuity errors.) You can join the mailing list [ here](https://goo.gl/forms/gkKL4qTBzDQo2mz92). 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and stay cool!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Loki of Midgard Fanart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4349645) by [Squirrel_Stone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squirrel_Stone/pseuds/Squirrel_Stone)




End file.
